Chapter Text
“Daddy!” Jaein shouted as soon as Kyungsoo left the arrival hall.
“Hello, baby, I've missed you.” He picks her up and kisses her cheeks, making eye contact with her other father after. "Hello, my love.”
“Welcome home, Soo.” They both leaned into each other and engaged in a quick kiss. He's home.
It was a humid day in Singapore, as her weather always is, and Kyungsoo buys another drink for himself because goodness, can a country be this hot?
He squeezes through the crowd at the Esplanade, where the typical touristy Singapore landscape is and snaps a picture with his camera. It’s beautiful he thinks, as he drinks the entire bottle of sprite before recycling the bottle into the bin. Jongdae has always wanted to come here, Kyungsoo thinks back.
Ah, it’s been two years since they last met. Last he heard, Jongdae became the manager of the restaurant he was working at. He loved working there, and Kyungsoo is glad he is happier now, according to their friends.
Speaking of friends, they talked it out and apologised for unknowingly siding with Jongdae. He understood, ‘I would hate me too,’ he had said. He apologised as well and they made up, without Jongdae present of course, and they started hanging out again. His friends had to have 2 separate weekly dinners instead of one now, but he wanted to give Jongdae the space he needed while still having friends by his side.
Kyungsoo looks around, sighing and smiling at the thought of how he was here because his boss complained he had racked up too many vacation days, and had forced him to take a month’s break for ‘once in his life’. He ended up here just because. He would probably stop by the neighbouring countries as well, he doesn’t know yet. He has never been to Singapore, and it reminded Kyungsoo of him, so that’s why he flew here first.
“Huh. You’d think by living in the same country, we would meet each other more often there than in some foreign country.” Kyungsoo hears, and he turns around.
“Jongdae.” He still looks good, of course he does. his hair was a lighter shade of brown, his body more defined and muscular but his smile blinding the same.
“Hi,” he giggles, “Fancy seeing you here.”
“Hello.” Kyungsoo smiles, “Are you on holiday too?”
Jongdae nods, “Boss said I had too many vacation days to clear, so here I am.”
“Wow," Kyungsoo's a little amused at the coincidence, "I’m here for that exact same reason too.”
“Why Singapore?”
“Near, and never been here.”
‘You’ was better left unsaid.
“Me too. Also… I've always wanted to travel here.”
“Yeah, I know.” He couldn’t stop smiling, thinking about fate.
“Do you want to get a drink? There’s a cafe inside; we can sit down and talk for a bit. Oh wait, are you with someone else?”
Kyungsoo shakes his head, “Alone.”
Jongdae smiles, “Okay, let’s go.”
Kyungsoo switches off his camera as he walks alongside Jongdae, but not before missing the date on the screen.
October 24th.
\\
They got back together on… you guessed it: January 12th. Their relationship honestly came full circle, and Kyungsoo couldn’t begin to think about how coincidental and ironic everything is without chuckling.
He had moved out of their once-shared apartment into a smaller one, while Jongdae upgraded to a nicer apartment. Funny enough, both apartments were in the same building, just different floors. They only found out when they had both taken separate taxis from the airport to the building. Although Jongdae had just moved in recently so there weren't really any chances for an accidental bump. Their friends kept it a secret from each other too, those sneaky bitches.
They spent the rest of their time together in Singapore, even making their way across the borders for day trips. However, Jongdae had to fly home earlier, and Kyungsoo decided to do the same too. Three weeks away was more than enough.
Instead of going back home for dinner, Jongdae would always stop by Kyungsoo’s for late-night suppers, which eventually meant exchanging their keys was inevitable. At this point, neither of them had told their friends about the reconciliation, probably some sort of revenge.
They celebrated Christmas together, just a dinner and a movie marathon, just like they used to do back when they were together. Jongdae was a little too sleepy for his own good, so Kyungsoo suggested he sleep over for the first time ever, and he does.
Best Christmas they both had after 4 years.
On his birthday, Jongdae came over with a cake, candle already lit up and sang a song just as Kyungsoo opens the door. He blows the candle, then invites him in and they watch one of Kyungsoo’s favourite movies - About time. They didn’t realise they were cuddling until they did, and they definitely didn’t realise they were both leaning into each other until their lips touched.
Everything was alright in the world again. It feels like they’ve finally come home, to each other one more time.
No one knew about their relationship for months, until their friends had started to force and ambush them into blind dates with other people; even if Jongdae and Kyungsoo said they weren’t readily available. The person that had put two and two together was Sehun, because when they couldn’t find Jongdae in his apartment, he suggested that they went up to Kyungsoo's apartment, and found them both tucked into the covers on the sofa, cuddling.
Of course, chaos ensues.
Half saying they felt betrayed, the other half worrying about how it’s all going to work out. The conversation ends when Jongdae reminds them that they’re both adults, they’re mature and responsible enough for their own actions, and will face consequences if need be. They had also talked everything out, their expectations as well as what had failed them the first time, and that they were going to be just fine.
Their friends were still a little wary, but had accepted that they knew what they were getting into. They did decide to stay with them, but before they could even think about settling in, Kyungsoo threatened to call security to chase them all out.
\\
They took their time; to rediscover themselves together mentally, emotionally and physically. Kyungsoo still deeply regrets ending their first relationship the way it did, and Jongdae has to remind him to move on. The past is in the past.
“I still feel guilty.”
“What for? Soo, you can’t keep wallowing in your fears and past forever. Let’s learn to let go of our mistakes and create new memories together.”
“I hurt you. That’s something I can never get over.”
“Soo, we’ll get through this together, okay? I know our entire divorce is something we both can never get over, so we’re going to move through it and face our fears. You telling me that you regret breaking my heart is a start. And i’m going to admit that yes, you did hurt me for a very long time. So, now that we both know where to start, we can take the next step together. Let’s talk about it.”
“I’m scared… that one day I will think of us as the same old, boring relationship and leave you… again. Leave you and break your heart yet again," Kyungsoo's voice breaks.
“What made us boring, Soo? Do you remember?”
He just shrugged, “How mundane everything was I guess. But I know and realise that we’re not special cases. Everyone’s lives can get mundane and boring and cannot be pinpointed to a specific person that makes it that way. The only thing that should matter is who you spend this stupid, boring life with. I took you for granted, blamed you for everything… it’s not right, Dae. It’s not.”
“See, baby, you know your mistakes, you know what was right and wrong, so you have to make an effort not to do it again. There isn’t any use wallowing in this regret forever if you’re not going to learn from it and move on.”
“Wait, Dae. I want to hear how you felt throughout the entire… ordeal. Please, maybe I can learn and understand better from your point of view.”
“Okay. You started being distant, and I thought you were just tired. You started blowing me off, our friends too… That was when I started being more aware about where we were heading. I tried to bring you out, to try something new… pottery classes, martial arts…I don’t know... I could eventually sense that ‘tired’ wasn’t the excuse anymore. I knew I was trying enough, but at the same time, I couldn’t do anything about it. I didn’t know what to do about it either. then Seungho came into the picture, you kept coming home late, but I knew you were out with him even when you denied it.
That’s when I knew I lost the war only I was fighting. I decided to stop fighting altogether, it was no use trying when you didn’t even raise your weapons. I surrendered. I wanted you to be happy, Soo. I convinced myself for a long time after that I did the right thing. You were happy, when I see you with Seungho. If not entirely happy, then a little less sad without me, and that was enough for me. I still loved you so, so much, and there were so many times I’d wanted to give up and beg endlessly for you to take me back. But then again, I'd think about how you weren’t happy with me anymore, so I tried really hard to let you go.
Remember that time you sent me home? I only let you do it because I wanted to be selfish for once , Soo. I wanted to feel you near me again, no matter what your motives were. I couldn’t stop crying the entire night after, of how it would’ve been if I was enough for you. I never regretted being with you either, I only regretted that I wasn’t enough for you to stay. After that, I just lived by the day, constantly wishing I had a certain someone by my side. I learnt to live like that, an invisible shadow following me, a certain person… So I felt a little more safe and comforted.
Only when I returned home, I would realise the shadow wasn’t real, and the cycle repeats again. When you called me the day Seungho and you broke up, I realised I've never seen you so intoxicated before, so I took care of you. I think I was being selfish again, but it didn’t matter, I wasn’t going to leave you there altogether. The next morning, you told me you missed me and that...”
Jongdae sniffles, “You told me the old apartment was where home was. and I knew then that I wasn’t ready yet… to talk about everything. I wasn’t ready on your birthday either, but you needed to get it off your chest. I just needed more time.”
Kyungsoo holds him close, and they both cried into each other for a while, before Jongdae says, “We’re okay now right? We will rid of the devils together, and conquer everything together. I want to be with you for the rest of our lives.”
“I want to be with you too. I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
Sure, their relationship wasn’t fixed overnight. It took a whole lot of learning and talking; letting the other know about their everything under the sun, like their feelings, insecurities, worries, fears or even something that happened that made them happy. They did walk and work around each other like they were stepping on eggshells in the first few months, but Jongdae ‘summoned’ the other, and decided they should be more comfortable with each other, shells be damned.
So how did Jaein come about?
Well, they had only gotten back together for 9 months, when one of Jongdae’s colleague had passed away in a tragic accident. He had no one, no family, no significant others, and his 1-year-old daughter was left and put immediately into the system. Jongdae couldn’t let this be; this particular colleague had helped him through the divorce, as well as covered for him and was supportive in whatever he does. Jongdae considered him one of his closest friends, so there was no way he could let the child into someone else’s hand in vain. He felt helpless, as much as he wanted to help his friend.
Kyungsoo had seen how devastated his boyfriend was, and suggested they look for her and adopted her. Jongdae had to make sure they were both okay with it, before hiring a lawyer to help them with the case. It was tough, but Kyungsoo really did hire the best of the best, and 6 months later, little Choi Jaein, became Kim Jaein.
At 20 months old, Jaein was a very smart toddler. When she first saw Jongdae and Kyungsoo, she was a little wary. Her mind has been a little confused since her dad had disappeared, and suddenly, she started seeing this couple a whole lot. They know her name, so they must be nice, right?
Jaein had brought Jongdae and Kyungsoo even closer together, if that was even possible. Even before she was adopted. Kyungsoo had to reassure the older that he did want a child too, and Jaein wasn’t just a middle person or some sort of distraction that they needed to stay together.
One day, months before the adoption but in the midst of the process, Kyungsoo surprised Jongdae with tickets to japan, and the latter was so happy he finally got to visit all the places he wanted to visit in Japan. They held hands from the plane to immigration, and again at baggage claim, Jongdae’s so full of excitement and wonder, while Kyungsoo looks at the other with so much love, and he knows now that it feels right. They spent the day roaming around as many spots they could go and made love all night; Kyungsoo feeling like he didn’t need anyone or anything else.
On their fifth night, Kyungsoo drops a bomb.
“Should we move in together?”
Jongdae tensed at that, and the younger was about to retract his statement when the former chuckled, “You’re lucky our leases are ending then.”
They looked for a house after their trip, and settled for a 4-room apartment in the outskirts of Seoul, still close enough to their workplaces and a good school too, just in case. They moved in quickly and eventually welcomed Jaein. For legal reasons, since they’re unmarried, Jaein was a Kim, rather than a Do or Kim-Do, but Kyungsoo was perfectly fine with it.
They both decided that since they wanted one parent at home, Kyungsoo was going to quit his job - he had been wanting to anyway since their management changed, Jongdae earning well enough for the both as a restaurant manager. Kyungsoo had also earned a lot of money from his job, and decided to build up his own home-based business selling pastries.
“Mmm, you should specialize in croissants. Your croissants are good,” Jongdae manages to say in between kisses when they’ve just woken up.
"Should I? I was thinking buns and bread - banana bread, chocolate bread…”
“Oh? those are good too. All your buns, especially this one..." Jongdae gropes the younger man's ass, "Are amazing. Really, you’re too talented…”
He gave the younger one last huge kiss before getting up, “Anything and everything you do is sexy and makes me horny as hell, but unfortunately, work calls.” Just then, they hear whimpering through the baby monitor, “Our daughter called too.” Jongdae rushes into the washroom while Kyungsoo takes his own sweet time properly waking up and walking towards the little girl's room. Once Jaein sees him and reached out to him, “Dada~”, his heart melts and there was never a day he regretted suggesting adopting his little princess right here.
The next item on his agenda after washing up, was breakfast. The smell of eggs and sausages in the morning gets Jaein excited that she kept squealing in her chair, so Kyungsoo carries her and let’s her see him cook for a bit before Jongdae comes in and steals her.
“Morning, baby~ I love you.” Jaein kisses Jongdae square on the mouth, which earned her many kisses around her face back, making her squeal yet again. Jongdae prepares some oatmeal, Jaein’s real meal, but of course, they would let her have some eggs at the very least.
After breakfast, Jongdae goes to work, and the morning routine starts. Kyungsoo brings Jaein to the park for a bit, before going home to play at home instead. He bathed, fed and read to her, before she takes her afternoon nap for the 2 hours or so. Kyungsoo would use this time to do his research for his business from home and settled any admin work for Jaein’s new school. Once she turns two, they had planned to send her to nursery for a few days of the week, and Kyungsoo could use this time to hopefully, if it all works out, do his business. After her nap, they’d have some snacks, and play or read with each other before Jongdae comes back. The cycle is the same, but Kyungsoo finds everyday interesting and different with them both in his life. He wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
Kyungsoo knows that he wants to spend the rest of his years with Jongdae. That’s why he was a little (read: a lot) terrified at the prospect of marriage again. While he did want that for them and do it all over again, he wasn’t sure Jongdae felt the same; not after what happened to them the first time. They haven't talked about it either, so Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what Jongdae wants. That scares him too, but he couldn’t even blame the older.
“Dada!” Jaein pats her stomach and pouts. Ah she’s hungry.
“It’s almost dinner, baby.”
Just as he says that, Jongdae comes home, and they settled down for dinner as soon as they could, since their baby was getting a little cranky.
"I feel like we should have a party for Jaein's second birthday, since she couldn't really celebrate her first."
"Definitely. I can bake her her favourite cake."
"'ake!" Jaein squeals, as Kyungsoo feeds her another spoonful of porridge.
"Yes, baby, but not today. Dada will make it for you for your birthday~" Jongdae indulges her, and turns to Kyungsoo, "Should we do a small garden party? We've got good weather at this time of the year."
"Yeah, I was thinking of something outdoors too. She has this cute flower dress that I've been dying to put on her."
"Okay," Jongdae chuckles, "You're adorable."
"Shut up," Kyungsoo can't help but blush a little. "The only adorable one here is our daughter."
"How about me?" Jongdae asks teasingly.
"Average. Like me."
"Just two average dudes, living under one roof and co-parenting a child."
"Yeah, that's exactly what we are."
"Two average dudes who have good sex."
"Amazing sex."
"Want to have said amazing sex tonight?" Jongdae wiggles his eyebrows, but Kyungsoo doesn't even get a chance to reply when Jaein squeals and tries to follow her father with her brows.
Later that night, after the sex they explicitly promised each other, neither of them had wanted to get up so they settled for cuddling in their dirty sheets. They'll get up eventually, they would say. Famous last words.
"Soo... can I ask you a question?" Jongdae leans against the top of Kyungsoo's head with his chin.
"Of course, baby."
"Do you ever think... of getting married again one day?" Kyungsoo tenses a little, a little shocked that Jongdae had brought that up.
"I... I was wondering the same thing but after what I did to you... I didn't think you'd want that for us anymore."
"I think we've grown a lot since then, right? I trust you. I always have."
Kyungsoo sighs, and properly looks up to Jongdae, "I want it for us, but... there's always this guilt in me that I made you suffer, and...I just...I don't deserve you. I don't deserve all or any part of you after what I did."
"Well, too bad because I'm giving myself to you anyway. Wanna know why?"
Kyungsoo tilts his head, an indirect way of saying 'yes'.
"Well, firstly we have our daughter now, so you can't run away again," Jongdae lightly jokes. "Secondly, our hearts are finally at the same place right now. Different from where they used to be... Better. We know what it was like to be married; we know what it was like to get divorced. And we're both smart enough not to repeat the same mistakes again. We were together for a while, and you wanted something new. Seungho was that someone new you wanted to try. You did, but you came back anyway. It's because you didn't like it, correct?" Kyungsoo nods.
"Even I tried to do something new, hated it. Hated being without you."
"I hate being without you too."
"Yeah, now we know what it felt like. Fucking shitty. Why would we knowingly put ourselves through that again?"
"I don't want to hurt you again."
"And if you do, you know who else gets hurt too? You. I trust us way more than enough not to make the same mistakes again. The question is, do you feel the same way? Do you trust us enough to get married again?"
Kyungsoo answers that question by turning to his nightstand, pulling out a burgundy velvet box and opening it. Jongdae softly gasps, surprised at the sudden turn of events, and tears wells up in his eyes.
They didn't need any more words as Kyungsoo places the ring where it rightfully belongs. They share a few kisses, and hold each other close in bed.
"Thank you for giving me a second chance."
"I'd do it over and over again, only for you."