Archive of Our Own

Getting smashed by the green beast wasn't at all what Loki had been intending, but she supposes that she should have expected it. It's funny how no one has even noticed – or suspected – that she's not a man. At least not right now. Checking to ensure that the illusion over her body is firmly in place, she lets her weakened seidr explore her injuries. Ribs mostly broken. Right lung punctured in three separate places. Lower spine cracked. Major concussion. And those are just from the beast. The rest are from the battle or her time in captivity.

Physically, she's a mess. Oh, she could probably survive, but healing would take an enormous amount of time and energy. But she has an even bigger problem. Her child is growing restless, and Loki fears that she may soon go into labor. With her current injuries, she might not survive, but it doesn't really matter. She's been dying a little each day since she learned the truth of her heritage. Is that why? Is that why Odin banished Sigyn and their children, calling them monsters? Because they're Jotun?

As long as the child lives, she's content. A sharp pain stabs through her, and she gasps quietly, squeezing her eyes closed. Yes, it's time. Patience, little one. Loki struggles to put a hand over her belly, pain rippling through entire body at the movement. Her body is broken, just like her heart and mind. There's nothing left. She just needs to last until this baby is born. Will the mortals even care that she's with child? She doesn't want them to know. She needs to – to go somewhere. She needs to hide until the baby is safe.

Loki shifts, grimacing at the overwhelming pain; it's so strong that she nearly blacks out. Her seidr is far too weak to try and teleport, so all she can do is crawl, but she can't even move right now. She can barely feel her legs, and the agony is enough to make her eyes flood with tears. The only consolation is that she'll die free. Thanos' control has been shattered.

Loki hisses when a particularly sharp contraction stabs through her. She went through this with Sleipnir, so this time won't be any different. She pushes away thoughts of her other children before they can take root. It's been so very long since she's last seen them, and it's like a physical ache in her chest. She loves each of them more than her life itself, and she'd willingly die a thousand times over if it would mean she could protect them.

Drawing on her limited seidr, she struggles to knit her fractured vertebrae back together. It's exceedingly hard, especially with so much energy being expended to keep her unborn child alive. Loki hasn't eaten for so long, that only her seidr is keeping it alive. There's absolutely no nutrition in her body to feed the baby, so her seidr has had to suffice. She reaches out with her right hand, scrabbling for something she can use to drag her broken body across the floor. She doesn't know how long it will be before Thor or his friends come to find her, but it might not be long enough for her to conceal herself.

As another contraction sends pain stabbing through her, Loki grimly accepts the truth. She won't survive the labor with her condition, but she does not fear death. She's spent so long within arm's reach of death's embrace that letting go is easier than hanging on. But she fears for her child. If she dies, so will the baby. There is only one other option. Flicking the fingers of her right hand, Loki summons a dagger, gripping it tightly as she draws it towards her belly. It will be so simple to slit herself open and remove the baby within before it dies. Even if she dies, it's a price she's willing to pay.

She removes the leather armor hidden under the masculine glamor over her body. Under, she is clothed in naught but a tattered black and green dress, barely large enough to cover her swollen belly. It would have been more merciful had she undone the baby's life when she ended up on the Sanctuary. No child should be carried in such a place. Truthfully, Loki had considered it once – she easily could have cast a spell to kill the baby long before now – but she couldn't carry out the deed. Though she may have been born to monsters and left to die by them, she couldn't do the same to her own offspring.

What would Thor say if he could see her now? Laying on a cracked floor, body broken almost beyond repair, black hair matted with sweat and blood, thin enough for all her bones to be visible, struggling to give life to the child within her. The dagger gleams in the dim lighting as she prepares to slice through fabric and reveal the scarred skin beneath. She prepares a tiny bit of seidr to cast a numbing spell. If she'll cut herself open, at least she won't have to feel it. Another contraction reminds her that time is of the essence. She doesn't have much longer.

A sudden noise draws her attention, and Loki turns her head to see Thor and his new companions striding into the room. Her breath hitches at the sight of the beast. It's a monster, just like her; she can't trust that – that thing won't murder her baby simply for existing. Norns, please spare my child's life.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink," she rasps, eyes locking onto Stark. The Avengers only raise their weapons at her. "Water, if you please," she adds. A little drink to get her energy back so she can save her child.

"Drop the dagger, Loki," Thor order harshly, narrowing his eyes at her. Their previous concern and warmth have become frigid in his anger. She nearly wilts under his gaze, slowly complying and setting it down next to her. This is exactly what she'd feared. Thor will never allow her or anyone to cut the baby from her womb, especially if her life would be forfeit.

He slowly approaches her, probably preparing to drag her to her feet and put her in chains. No. No. Not yet. She doesn't want to try and explain what happened. She doesn't want to be looked at with pity because she was tortured, and scorn because she finally broke under it. She blinks furiously, a few tears escaping and running down her face, invisible behind the glamor. Loki knows that when Thor knows about her condition, he'll protect her. She's not desperate for her brother's attention or affection – okay, she is, but she'd die before she admits it – but he'll probably become extremely overprotective and downright annoying.

"Get up." Captain America – she's quite certain that's who it is – moves to stand next to Thor. His voice is hard and unyielding as he stares down coldly at Loki's body. To be fair, the glamor doesn't reveal even a fraction of her current condition. Even if she wanted to obey – she doesn't – she wouldn't be able to comply.

Another stab of pain spears through her, jolting her injured spinal cord enough momentarily make her see stars. Loki tries to hold back the cry of pain, but a strangled gasp still escapes. She inhales slowly, trying to overcome it which only serves to irritate her right lung. Though she'd sealed the worst of the bleeding, her lung still has blood in it. She starts coughing, the metallic taste of blood filling her mouth as she coughs up some of what's in her lungs. It's hard to keep the glamor in place, especially since it uses so much seidr, but it's necessary.

A glance at Thor's face confirms it. He can't see the blood trickling from her lips, though from his concerned expression he obviously realizes that something's wrong. Except now she can't stop coughing, each movement painfully jarring her back. She reaches out, trembling fingers seeking the cool metal of her dagger. If she can get it, she can cut herself open to remove the child. By Loki's best estimate, she'll be dead in around sixty minutes, and the child with her.

Either her hand is shaking too badly, or someone moved it out of reach, she's not certain, and she doesn't have enough seidr to summon another. Thor is saying something, but she can't make out what, a quiet moan of agony slipping through her lips. "M-mother," she whimpers quietly. "M-mother." Loki doesn't even know why she's calling for Frigga – the All-Mother isn't her mother, and how that hurts. Perhaps it's because Frigga is the only mother she's known.

The Queen was there when Sleipnir was born; she'd patiently helped all throughout the birth, while Thor had been on the verge of panic. Sigyn had been there too, helping as needed. It was a very strange experience to see a tiny eight-legged colt in Frigga's arms afterwards instead of a human, but Loki had quickly figured out what had occurred. When Sleipnir had still been in her womb, she had shape-shifted – though the spell wasn't a true physical shape-shift unlike her gender shift – to lure away a magical horse. Her son, though still unborn, was as gifted in seidr as Loki, and he'd unconsciously shape-shifted his form to take on his mother's new one. It had taken months for them to coax him back into a human form.

A similar predicament had occurred before Jormungandr was born. Loki doesn't remember the reason anymore, but Sigyn had shape-shifted into a sea serpent. Their second son was also born as an animal. After that, they had realized that they needed to be cautious. Asgard was already mocking them in the shadows, whispering that Loki was unworthy because his two eldest children were born as monsters. Then, on an excursion to Alfheim, Loki and Sigyn had shifted into wolves, unaware that Sigyn was again with child. It didn't matter that she wasn't even two months along. The twins, Narvi and Vali, were born as wolf cubs.

Odin had been furious, declaring that Loki was making a mockery of their family because all four of his sons had been born as animals. He'd banished Sigyn and their children back to her native realm of Alfheim. It was the only time Loki ever saw Frigga angry. She'd loved all four of her grandchildren, and Loki knows that the Queen had argued with Odin about it, but the All-Father held firm.

Loki had visited her – his at that point – family as often as she could, but it wasn't nearly the same. They hadn't returned to Asgard until a couple weeks before Thor's coronation which they were planning to attend. She doesn't know what happened to them after she fell into the Void. In retrospect, she probably should have declined the offer of taking Odin's place. The knowledge that she was with child again coupled with the changes in her body and the truth of her parentage had made her take a number of regrettable actions. Well, it's too late to mourn the past now.

"Loki, what's wrong?" Thor demands, desperately, grabbing Loki's shoulder to get her attention. "Brother, you must tell me."

"Sister," Loki corrects sharply, though her voice comes out much weaker than she'd hoped. "If you will continue to maintain that we're related, at least you could have the decency of using the correct gender." At that moment, another contraction takes her breath away. Almost against her will, her hand curls protectively over her belly.

Thor sucks in a sharp breath, and Loki knows that he just realized what's happening. She can see hints of panic on his face. "Drop the glamor, sister," he instructs softly. "I need to see what's been done to you."

Oh. Oh. Miracle of miracles. Maybe Thor is actually capable of using his brain, especially if he thinks that Loki has been injured, though seeing as she was walking around almost until Sleipnir was born, the fact that she's on the ground unable to move is a giveaway.

"Sister?" demands the Captain, giving Thor an incredulous look. "What do you mean?"

"Loki is a talented mage," Thor explains. "He – she was born male, though when she tried to craft a shape-shifting spell, it went wrong, and she accidentally crafted a female body instead. Our mother helped her shift back, but she never lost her female form."

"That's insanity," Stark states flatly. Loki senses more than sees the others giving her incredulous looks. "It's not even possible for someone to have a male and female form. Are you seriously telling us that this whole mess was set up by a woman?" He throws up his hands in disbelief. "What's next? I suppose you'll be telling us that Loki will be having a baby?"

"Actually, I am," Loki rasps out, finally dropping the glamor over her body. She can hear Thor's startled intake of breath at her appearance. She supposes she must make quite a sight. Her left eye is bruised, the jaw on that side swollen. Her long, black hair is tangled and matted with sweat and blood. Two of the fingers on her left hand are broken, and the lower arm is fractured. The black and green tattered dress barely covers her body, torn enough to expose the raw gaping wounds and burns across much of her chest and back. Most prominent is the bulge of her belly revealing the child within.

"Norns," breathes Thor, expression horrified. He reaches out to touch Loki's face. She lets him do it, too weak to resist. "What happened to you?"

"Now you ask?" Loki bites back, flinching as another wave of pain rushes through her. The Avengers openly gape at her in speechless silence, likely both from her appearance and female voice. "Seeing as I'm currently in labor and going to die, I think there are other priorities, wouldn't you agree?"

"Why would you die?" the Captain wants to know, crouching down next to her. "Is there anything we can do to help?"

Loki shakes her head slightly. "Not fast enough," she whispers. "My back is broken. I can't – I've been using my seidr… to keep the baby alive…" she breaks off, gasping for breath and squeezes her eyes shut against the unbearable agony. "I don't have the… energy to heal in time."

"You can't die! I can't lose you again!" Thor exclaims frantically. "I'll call Heimdall. Maybe he can send help." In that moment, it's so clear how scared Thor is that she'll die. If not for the situation, Loki might have been touched.

"Idiot," Loki hisses. "Not without the Tesseract they can't."

"Okay. This can't be happening," Stark mumbles, suddenly peering down at her. "This wasn't supposed to happen. The biggest supervillain can't be a pregnant woman."

"Get over yourself, Stark," snaps the Captain. "We have to do something. If Loki dies, the baby will too. It's innocent. It doesn't deserve that."

"Cut it out," Loki grits out. The contractions are coming faster, and her remaining strength is dwindling rapidly. "I won't survive anyways."

"I'm going to call Heimdall," Thor decides. If Loki weren't in so much pain, she'd stop to consider why Thor is so desperate that she does not die. He looks up towards the ceiling. Loki tries shifting, but the movement nearly makes her pass out. As it is, she didn't even hear what Thor – or anyone – was saying.

"We need to move her elsewhere. Someone get a stretcher!" the Captain orders, reaching out to take Loki's wrist, probably to check her pulse. "Hurry! There isn't much time."

Barton is grumbling, but Romanoff puts a firm hand on his arm and guides him away, probably to carry out their instructions. "I'll call Fury and update him on the situation," she calls over her shoulder. "Stark, come with us." Moaning something that Loki can't decipher, the man obeys.

"Loki, stay with us," Rogers instructs firmly. For the first time, Loki sees worry in his gaze.

"Mother will send help," Thor tries to reassure his sister.

"There's not much time," Loki reminds him as the next wave of agony washes over her.

Her surroundings begin to fade, even though Thor desperately attempts to keep her conscious. There's a whirlwind of activity around her, as Thor and the Captain carefully – with far more gentleness than Loki would have thought possible – move her to something else to transport her elsewhere. Distantly, she registers that Banner has come back out from the beast, and he's helping as best he can, probably out of guilt.

It's not until Loki is transferred to a soft bed that she comes back to her senses, the pain in her abdomen having increased. Thor is hovering next to her, while Banner is carefully bandaging the broken fingers on her left hand. Romanoff is standing at the foot of the bed with her arms crossed. None of the others are in the room, which is good. The less people see her in this condition, the better.

"I definitely think she was tortured," Romanoff is saying, gesturing to Loki's body with one hand. Her expression is inscrutable. "How else could she have gotten wounds like that?"

"The Other Guy did a number on her," Banner agrees, a hint of regret in his tone, "But this was clearly deliberate. I mean, when was the last time she ate?"

"Before the failed coronation," Loki mumbles faintly, wondering briefly if she's being drugged. She didn't feel this willing to divulge information earlier. Or maybe it's because she's dying. Every minute that ticks by is another one closer to her untimely death.

Banner seems mildly alarmed. "You need nutrition. I'll start an IV." Loki doesn't know what that is, but she doesn't protest when Banner inserts a needle into the vein of her right arm.

"The Chitauri weren't exactly ideal hosts," she adds dryly, trying to ignore the feeling of something flowing into her body. It seems like it might help, but no Midgardian technology is enough to save her life; it will only prolong the inevitable.

"They did this to you?" Thor cries, sounding outraged. "I'll kill them for this!" He reaches out, gripping Loki's right hand tightly in a comforting manner. She suspects it's as much for him as it is for her, so she doesn't protest. In her male form she might, but there are distinct personality differences between the two. As a woman, she's not as prone to pushing away Thor's abundantly offered physical displays of affection.

"Not them," Loki corrects, trying and feeling to keep her tone flippant. "His name was Thanos. And since I… won't be around to… tell you later… you need to know… that he's insane…" She pauses to catch her breath. Only the most important facts should be spoken with her limited energy. "He wants the Infinity Stones… to wipe out… half… the universe."

A horrified silence greets the words, broken by a sharp cry of pain from Loki. The child is getting very impatient to be born, and she rests a hand over the bulge, hoping to soothe it.

"I need to check you," Banner tells her, shifting awkwardly.

Loki glares at him. "No," she states flatly. "Thor can… attend to me… if necessary. Or…" she gives up trying to talk, flicking a finger in Romanoff's direction. Loki is a goddess. She won't have any mortal man viewing her body.

Romanoff raises an eyebrow before shrugging. "Alright," she agrees. "Bruce, you can give us instructions. Thor, do you know what to do? Have you ever helped with childbirth before?"

Thor shakes his head rapidly. "Our mother helped when Sleipnir was born."

"The mythology of Loki giving birth to an eight-legged horse is correct?" Banner asks, surprised.

"The father was Sigyn," Thor elaborates, "But the rest is true." As they talk, Romanoff methodically pulls back the fabric covering Loki's legs to prepare for the birth.

Loki is about to protest that she can't survive a natural childbirth, when a glowing green portal opens on the other side of the room. Five familiar figures step through, and Loki holds back a gasp of surprise. "Were you expecting someone?" Romanoff questions, glancing up at Loki as she drapes a blanket over the lower half of Loki's body to give her some privacy.

She's too overwhelmed to answer as she hungrily takes in the faces of her family. Sigyn gasps sharply, a hand flying up to cover her mouth, an expression of utter dismay on her face when she sees Loki lying there, looking to be on her deathbed.

"This is Loki's family," Thor answers, relief appearing on his face like the sun on a clear day. A shimmer of green envelops Sigyn, and when it dissipates, Loki finds herself looking at Sigyn's male form.

"Father," Narvi is the first to beak the strained silence, taking a tentative step closer. Loki doesn't bother correcting that the currently appropriate word would be mother – actually, that's not true, because Sigyn gave birth to Narvi, not Loki. The boy looks to be nearly traumatized at the sight of her.

Narvi looks most like her, with his black hair and green eyes. His twin's, Vali's, hair is a dark chestnut, while his eyes are blue like Sigyn's and Sleipnir's. Sleipnir's hair is a light brown, while Jormungandr's is a shade lighter than Vali's. The serpent child has green eyes like his father.

"F-father!" gasps Sleipnir, a visible shudder running through his body.

"Will you be alright?" Vali's voice is so quiet Loki hardly hears him.

"Hush, my son," she manages to answer. "Of course… I'll be fine." Seeing their fear – it hurts to know that she's the cause of it, not that it was her intention. She hates being vulnerable and weak, especially in front of her sons, but it's not something she can change now. Without Sleipnir's help – that boy is truly a marvel in long-distance teleportation – none of them would even be here right now.

Sigyn moves around their children, fear in her – his – blue eyes. His ginger hair glistens red-gold in the light. "I am Sigyn, mate of Loki," he introduces. "These are our children: Sleipnir, Jormungandr, Narvi, and Vali." He motions to each of them in turn before striding to the bed and holding his hands over Loki's prone form.

"Banner, you may leave," Thor murmurs quietly. "It would be best if you took Narvi and Vali with you. They should not witness this."

"Yes, take them," Romanoff agrees. "They don't even look older than twelve."

"In Midgardian terms, that would be correct," Thor agrees, squeezing Loki's hand. "Sleipnir would be around seventeen, while Jormungandr would be around fourteen."

Sigyn's hands glow green with his seidr as he probes Loki's body to assess the damage. His expression tightens at the analysis, but he doesn't say anything, instead silently brushing a hair back from Loki's face. "Sleipnir and Jormungandr, come here," he instructs briskly, as Banner ushers the twins out of the room, both casting terrified glances at their father as they leave. "We don't have any healing crystals, so our seidr will have to suffice."

"Lady Romanoff will help in any way she can," Thor offers quietly, pointing to her.

Sigyn nods. "She will have to help with the delivery. My sons and I will work on healing Loki's body, so he, sorry, she can survive." Loki closes her eyes, feeling overwhelmingly grateful that Sigyn is taking over. If he's in control, everything should be fine. Maybe after the child is born, they can all move to Alfheim. Loki never wants to go back to Asgard, at least not for a while, and certainly not until her family can be with her.

"Hang on, my love," Sigyn whispers gently. "We'll help you get through this." Loki gives him a weak smile before grimacing as another contraction sends pain spearing through her body.

Sleipnir and Jormungandr take up positions on either side of Sigyn, their seidr merging with hers and pouring much needed energy into Loki. "Once this is over, we're going to talk about what was done to you," Sigyn promises, a hint of steel in his voice. "No one can harm a prince of Asgard, and even if Odin permits it, you are also royalty on Alfheim. This will not go unpunished."

Loki hums a quiet acknowledgement, before biting back a strangled scream as the broken vertebrae slide against once another as they slip back into their proper positions. Sigyn murmurs quiet instructions to their sons, nudging their seidr in the right direction to give adequate healing. Normally, this type of procedure is very risky; healers almost never use their own seidr to heal another, but this is a special situation. For one, Sigyn is one of the best mages, save Loki, and all their sons are equally strong. Together, they should be able to patch up the worst of the damage to Loki's body.

But that will just be physically. Mentally, she's still a complete wreck. The damage the Mind Stone did will take much time to undo, especially when she's not even certain what all was tampered with. Someone's seidr brushes against the mess of wounds on her chest and back, and there's startled intake of breath, prompting her to open her eyes.

Jormungandr has a distressed look on his face as he turns and bolts across the room before vomiting into something – probably a trash can. "Jorm, you alright?" Sleipnir asks gently, glancing worriedly at his brother, though he never stops the flow of seidr.

"Nephew?" Thor worries when the boy doesn't reply immediately.

"I'm going to kill them!" Jormungandr screams, turning back towards them, fists clenching. His green eyes are burning with pure rage, and his expression is scary enough that Romanoff seems to tense slightly. "I will hunt them down and string them up by their own guts!" he snarls, body vibrating with suppressed fury.

"Peace, my son," Loki whispers faintly. "They are… too powerful for you… we must do it… together." She knows what Jormungandr felt; the scars and burns are too prominent for him to have not noticed the distinct patterns.

He stumbles forward, anger being replaced by fear. "What did you feel, brother?" Sleipnir asks calmly, keeping his blue eyes pinned on his younger brother.

"That – that was a brand," Jormungandr chokes out, horror filling his tone.

"What?" hisses Thor, gaze flickering towards his young nephew. Even Romanoff seems surprised by the words. Loki resists the urge to make a biting comment. Did they really think that the Chitauri weren't brutal enough to physically mark her body as theirs?

"Jorm, come." Sigyn's voice brooks no refusal, so he slowly takes up his place next to him again. Loki slowly breathes out, coughing up more blood as their seidr travels in more deeply to undo the most life-threatening of her injuries.

"Sister, what did he mean?" Thor beseeches, turning his gaze onto Loki. She meets his eyes reluctantly, knowing that he won't give up until she explains. They'll have plenty of time to talk about everything later – she's not looking forward to it – because there's no way she'll die anymore, especially not now that her spine is mostly healed. Her own seidr is finishing the rest, and whatever further damage occurs during the birth will be repairable.

"Chitauri slave brand," she finally admits, keeping her voice as quiet as possible so her sons won't hear. "Back of my right shoulder."

Her brother looks positively ill as understanding dawns on his face. "Everything that happened, that wasn't you." He sounds as though he's made a revelation. "The scepter, it was controlling you just like it was the others."

Everything has already been rubbed raw and exposed so why not this too? After the baby is born, Loki can leave with her family. They can live on Alfheim, and she never has to see Thor again if she doesn't want to. She does. Despite everything that's happened, she's never been able to make herself stop loving him. She only has ever wanted to be his equal, to be recognized as important, to not be abandoned in the shadows.

If she were in her male form, she'd be throwing out biting comments and insults, intentionally provoking Thor so he wouldn't see how badly she's been hurt, because she'd be afraid that he wouldn't even care. But now? Now, as a woman, Loki is more willing to seek out affection even if she's shunned. It's in her nature. Even so, what she wants most, right now, is understanding. She's desperate to make Thor see that she's not a monster, that she's not like all the other members of her species.

She nods hesitantly, carefully avoiding her brother's eyes. She doesn't want to see the condemnation, or worse, pity. Thor makes a choking noise, tightening his grip on her hand to the point of it being painful. "I'm so sorry, Loki," he whispers desperately. "I'm sorry. I should have realized…" His voice trails off. "I'm doing everything wrong. I should have been there to help you, not push you away."

Ignoring the physical pain debilitating her, Loki forces herself to look up at Thor. He's not lying. He's incapable of it. "I'm not a good brother," he mumbles, seeming totally at a loss. "I wasn't there when you needed me most." Well, at least he recognizes it. That's the first step towards making amends, even though it's far from enough. There's too much pain, anger, and resentment for a simple apology to fix everything. They need to talk after this is over.

Clearly Sigyn is thinking similarly. "You'll have plenty of time to talk later," he tells Thor. "Loki, we've healed as much as we can, and the baby will be coming soon." Loki jerkily nods her agreement. She estimates that it will be another fifteen or so minutes. The birth will probably be fast just like it was for all the others.

"Sleipnir, Jormungandr, go wait outside with your brothers," Sigyn instructs, shooing them away. They don't need to be here to see the rest. They've seen enough already. "Thor, I don't imagine you'll help any more than you did with Sleipnir," he adds dryly, once their sons have left the room, "So you can stay where you are. Lady Romanoff, I will need your help."

"Just tell me what to do," Romanoff answers immediately, expression determined. Something about her seems different, though Loki isn't sure what. Maybe it's because she knows that Loki was tortured and mind-controlled, she doesn't really know. There will be plenty of time to analyze the woman's behavior later.

***

Loki is so thoroughly exhausted that she can barely even move, but she still cradles her newborn daughter in her arms. She'd not even considered that the baby might not be born in an Aesir form, because she didn't remember shapeshifting, but apparently, little Angrboga thought that she should assume her Jotun form. The baby's skin is blue, though the tone and markings are far less prominent than they are for Loki. Maybe Loki's mother was Aesir. She doesn't know or care. Curious ruby eyes peer up at her, as Angrboga snuggles against her chest.

The blue color has spread across Loki's body, but no one seems disgusted by it. For that, she's grateful. Romanoff is studying her appearance curiously, while Sigyn is gently running his fingers through Loki's hair. "Is that your – your natural form?" Romanoff finally inquires.

"Yes," Thor answers before Loki can. "Loki was adopted from Jotunheim, but she's still my sister." Loki raises an eyebrow at him as he turns pleading blue eyes back to his sister. "I don't care what you are, Loki. You must know that. Nothing will change the fact that you're my sister." He runs a gentle finger along the back of Loki's hand. "I think it's beautiful actually," he admits. "It suits you very well."

For a moment, Loki finds that she can't breathe, and her grip on her daughter slackens. "You – you think this monstrous form is beautiful?" she demands incredulously.

"Yes," Thor smiles. "It's not nearly as ugly as is claimed on Asgard."

"I like it," Romanoff declares.

"You're beautiful any way, my love," Sigyn adds fondly.

Loki closes her eyes, hoping no one will notice her skin darken from a blush. She feels overwhelmed by everyone's open acceptance of her Jotun form. Ever since she found out, she'd felt as though she finally understood why she was so shunned, so different; it's because she never belonged on Asgard. She was a Jotun, a monster. It's almost too much for her to deal with.

Thankfully, Sigyn seems to sense her unease. "Before we call our sons back, we really should clean you up. Many of your wounds are infected." Despite the worry in his voice, there's a definite undertone of anger. He's furious that Loki has been tortured.

"I'll hold her," Thor offers, brightening. He gently takes Angrboga from Loki's arms and cradles them in his own, cooing softly at the infant. It's almost scary how good he is with children, having never had any, though with four nephews, it shouldn't be surprising.

Loki remains compliant, shifting as much as she can while Sigyn strips off her tattered clothing and begins cleaning and bandaging the injuries covering her chest and back with Romanoff's help. They work quickly and efficiently, and before long, they're helping Loki put on a clean gown over the many bandages.

"What was done to you isn't alright," Romanoff speaks up, looking directly at Loki with her piercing green eyes. It's probably the first time she's said something to her. "I'm going to be talking to SHIELD. You are not, under any circumstances, accountable for what you did against your will. I don't think they'll press any charges or insist on any punishments. You'll be free to move about as you wish."

"Thank you," Loki murmurs as Thor passes the baby back to her. She runs her fingers over Angrboga's head. Her daughter waves a tiny hand in the air, catching one of Loki's fingers and holding on. She feels an overwhelming sense of love towards her youngest. Angrboga is perfect in every sense of the word. There's no where else she'd rather be. "I love you," she breathes softly to her daughter.

"All of us are eternally grateful, Lady Romanoff," Thor says to her earnestly. "My sister had been through a lot, and she needs time to recover."

"I know," the red-headed assassin replies shortly, watching Loki and Angrboga interact with a hint of softness in her gaze. "I'll do everything I can."

"About what I said to you… I'm sorry," Loki apologizes, shifting uncomfortably. She remembers well the cruel things she'd said to Romanoff only to receive her aid in return. She didn't deserve any of Romanoff's help any more than Romanoff deserved Loki's words. "It was cruel and probably applies more to me than you."

If Romanoff is surprised, she doesn't show it. She doesn't reply, opting to nod instead, and as the silence grows uncomfortable, Sigyn breaks it. "How did you keep her for so long?" he wonders. "I know you were with child for a time before Thor's failed coronation."

"I shifted back to my male form after landing on the Sanctuary," Loki explains, voice trembling when she says the name. "That put the baby into statis, so she stopped growing. When – when they used the Mind Stone, they found out about her." She pauses to suck in a steadying breath. It's hard to think about and even harder to talk about. "They forced me to shift back."

"And they tortured you afterwards?" Romanoff sounds completely incensed.

"Repeatedly," Loki mutters, pushing away the memories threatening to encroach.

"Is that why your mind feels so different?" Sigyn asks quietly, his hand resting on Loki's arm. "They broke your shields and took your mind apart didn't they?"

Loki nods stiffly. "I don't know – I don't even know what is real and what's fake," she confesses, staring fixedly at her daughter so she doesn't have to see anyone else's faces. The only reason she's talking about this is because Sigyn is asking. Of everyone in the room, he's the one who deserves to know most. He helped and comforted Loki when she was feeling alone and abandoned by Thor and his friends.

"When I fell into the Void. What happened?" she looks over at Thor. "I – I remember –" she doesn't want to speak the thoughts aloud, because she knows that they've been perverted, but the truth escapes her.

Loki clings desperately to the edge of the Rainbow Bridge, having slipped during the fight with Thor. Now, she's barely hanging on. If she falls, she'll die, and the baby will perish with her. No. Not her baby! "Thor, please!" she begs desperately. "Help me, brother!"

Thor stares at her indifferently. "You're not my brother," he states caustically. "You're a Jotun, a monster. You said so yourself! All the Jotuns have to die, remember, brother?" He spits the word like it's a curse.

"What about my children?" she screams at him.

"Oh, they'll be fine." Thor waves her off dismissively. "Monsters like them will live fine on their own. They don't need to be babied." She knows this can't be Thor; it can't be the brother she knew. He was many things, but cruel was not one of them. That doesn't stop the tears from running down her cheeks.

"Does our childhood mean nothing to you?" she whispers, voice trembling. The pain is ripping her heart in two, making it hard to hold the glamor.

Thor's expression twists into something akin to cruel satisfaction as if watching Loki's heart shatter is pleasurable. "So, the monster has a heart," he taunts mockingly. "This is my answer." He raises Mjolnir slamming the hammer down repeatedly until the Rainbow Bridge breaks, leaving Loki to fall into the Void.

Loki shakes away the memory, glancing at Thor beside her. His face is filled with so much concern – and dare she say love? – that she knows the memory is false. It was implanted, and maybe she'll remember the truth in time. Maybe not. "I remember you casting me into the Void, but that's not what happened."

Thor's eyes widen, and he shakes his head. "I would never," he vows. "I destroyed the Bridge to stop the Bifrost from destroying Jotunheim, but I nearly fell off. I grabbed Gungnir, and you had the other end. Father grasped my hand to keep us from falling, and – and you let go." The sadness in his eyes is nearly palpable. "I mourned," he whispers. "I couldn't understand what I had done wrong to make you do that."

Against her will, Loki feels her heart clench. Whatever exactly happened, she never wanted to make Thor suffer. Odin rejected you, remember? A quiet voice in the back of her mind murmurs. He didn't care what you did; he only ever saw Thor. Yes, there's no doubt that's the truth. It must be, because Loki knows why – after everything she did – she would try to kill herself by falling into the Void if Odin rejected her and her actions. It's said that no one can survive, except she did somehow.

Loki slowly reaches out, touching Thor's arm fleetingly. "Never doubt." The words are a reference to what she said before Thor's failed coronation.

For a moment, her brother seems confused before his eyes light up as he remembers. "I love you too, little sister," he vows, resting a hand on her neck, though the gesture is a bit awkward because Loki's half laying down.

"I'm going to get our sons and bring them back," Sigyn tells her, moving towards the door, probably to give Loki and Thor some privacy. He knows how badly they need to talk to one another, especially after everything that's happened.

"I'll call SHIELD to discuss the situation," Romanoff adds, "And I probably need to speak to the rest of the Avengers. They must be getting impatient." She, too, turns stepping through the door after Sigyn. It closes, leaving Loki and Thor alone.

There's so much they need to talk about, but Loki doesn't know where to start. She doesn't even think it matters. It's best to leave the past alone. They can try to rebuild their relationship from here. After a few seconds of silence, Thor sits down on the edge of the bed, wrapping an arm around Loki's shoulders as she nurses Angrboga. Neither of them talks, opting instead to relax in the tentative peace they've just constructed. Maybe if Loki weren't so exhausted, that would be different, but she's perfectly content. For the first time in a while, she realizes that she's happy.

***

Home. It's funny to think that the word "home" no longer makes Loki think about the palace of Asgard, but rather, the much smaller mansion she and Sigyn have on Alfheim. Two weeks after Angrboga was born, the family, including Thor, left for Alfheim. Loki promised each of the Avengers, Romanoff especially, that she'd be back to visit them someday. It was ironic, really, how quickly the Avengers, except Barton, took a liking to her, Sigyn, and their children. After hearing what happened to Loki, SHIELD had been more than willing to let her leave once she gave them whatever information she had on Thanos.

Seeing as Loki had still been weak and healing from her time with Thanos, Romanoff had suggested that she remain on Midgard. She did, and they ended up staying in Stark Tower for two more weeks until Sigyn proclaimed her well enough to move to Alfheim. They've been here ever since.

Thor stayed with them for another month before he went back to Asgard, promising to visit as soon as possible. Two months later, Loki expects him to return any day. He always had a hard time staying away from his newest nephews after they were born, and this time is no different save that he has a niece instead. If anything, that only made him want to be there more.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Sigyn murmurs, sliding an arm around Loki's waist, Angrboga resting in his other arm. Since Loki is the only one who can nurse their daughter, she chose to remain in her female form until Angrboga is eating solid food. They followed the same procedure after Sleipnir was born, but if Loki's being honest, she misses her male form.

It took time, but eventually, they managed to coax Angrboga into her Aesir form. Her hair – whatever hair she has, that is – is black, and her eyes have a distinctly greenish hue. When she gets older, she'll probably look much like Loki with black hair and emerald eyes.

Loki hums quietly in response to Sigyn's statement, staring out at the gardens which were designed to be a replica of Frigga's garden in Asgard. "Yes," she agrees. "It is." Their sons are playing amidst the greenery. Never before has Loki felt so much at home. She's still healing – and will be for years – but she has her family and she has Thor. She doesn't need anything else.

Sigyn pulls her close, and Loki kisses him gently. "I love you, Sigyn," she mumbles against his lips, before tilting her head to look into his blue eyes.

"And I love you too, trickster mine," Sigyn teases, a fond smile on his face.

The familiar, long-awaited sound of something – someone, rather – flying through the air breaks the moment, and Loki turns to see Thor landing a short distance away. "Sister!" he calls, a wide grin on his face. "I am finally here!" Hooking Mjolnir to his belt, he strides over pulling Loki into a tight embrace. She wraps her arms around him in turn.

"Did Mother show you the pathway between Asgard and Alfheim?" Loki wonders curiously. She knows of no other way by which her brother could have arrived.

"Aye, she did," Thor nods, "It was a strange experience, but I shall get used to it."

"I was just saying that you'd be coming any day," Sigyn interjects, passing Angrboga to Loki.

"I think that we should return to Midgard in a few months," Thor suggests. "The Avengers will be happy to see you again."

"We shall," Loki assures him, "But I wish to wait until I can return to my male form."

Thor opens his mouth to say something, though he never gets the chance. "Uncle Thor!" scream Narvi and Vali in unison, racing towards him.

"You're here!" Jormungandr adds exuberantly.

Before Loki can even blink, her sons are swarming around Thor, hugging him, and asking after Frigga. She knows how much they miss Asgard, and this garden pales in comparison to the real one, but they have to make do with what they have.

"Sister, I thought you should know that Father has ordered Heimdall to look for Thanos. He's sent out scouts to locate him, and once he's been spotted, Father intends to lead an attack." From Thor's expression, it's obvious how much he's hoping that Loki will be able to relax at the news. She might not be happy with Odin, but in this, she is confident he's making the right choice. It's something she can fully support.

"That's wonderful." Sigyn's voice conveys his sincerity, and he smiles at his brother-in-law. "All of us will rest more easily when the Titan lies dead."

"Can we go to Midgard?" queries Sleipnir hopefully, looking between Loki and Thor.

"Please?" adds Vali. "I miss Dr. Banner."

"Me too!" pipes up Narvi.

"I miss Lady Romanoff," Jormungandr puts in.

Sigyn and Loki exchange amused looks. "We'll see," Loki says finally.

"I miss Lady Jane." Thor grins at Loki. "What do you say, Loki? Shall we take a quick trip to visit our friends and check up on the realm?"

Loki sighs. "Alright," she agrees slowly, a mischievous smirk on her lips. "We can go."