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Xiao sat at the edge of the water, taking in the sight of the world around him, his ragged breathing though hidden behind his mask was still loud enough to disturb the quiet world around him. The night was calm, quiet and cool, fire and crystalflies alike dancing across the water bringing the world to life as they fluttered around. In stark contrast the Yaksha sat there shaking, pale skin covered in a layer of sweat as he struggled to sit up straight, he’d already given up on standing, his legs weak from a lack of sleep and days without food, apprehension and terror alike making it impossible for him to keep anything down.
Xiao knew this would be the last time he’d be able to look upon the night sky with a mind that was still his own, if he was even able to open his eyes tomorrow that is.
It was getting bad. Xiao wasn’t stupid, he knew the signs all too well after having watched his companions fall one by one. For some of them it was quick, others fought to the death, and one… Bosacius… he had ran, vanishing less than a month ago. With no one left to understand the pain the last Yaksha could feel himself slipping deeper and deeper, how he’d held out for so long was a mystery, he was by no means the strongest of his former companions, yet somehow Xiao was the “victor.” It wasn’t until two weeks ago everything started to become too much for him to handle. With every demon he slayed a new voice was added to the multitudes, the darkness would creep in at the edges of his vision, shadows of long dead enemies covering his view. At times, like right now he could barely see anything through the figures as they swamped his vision.
But he had a contract to keep, people to protect, and demons to slay. Xiao was no fool; it was the very nightmares he consumed that was killing him, causing him to go madder by the day. Still it was his sworn duty to fight the demons and the darkness until he drew his last breath. At least, that was what he tried to tell himself when he first sat down at the edge of the water. In a way he was admitting defeat, allowing death to consume him now rather than fight it. He… he couldn’t end up like his companions had, he had refused to kill Bosacius and now he was nowhere to be found either going mad or dead. No matter where the runaway Yaksha had gone or his fate mattered to Xiao. He could only hope some unknown power had taken mercy on Bosacius and delivered him to a swift death, and hopefully they would give Xiao the same.
With a sigh he watched as a shadow charged him, vanishing as it flew through his body, just one of the many shapeless spectres that haunted him. At the most they had become a nuisance to him, years of training and battle had made their charges and jump scares ineffective.
It was the voices he despised the most. They were everywhere, sometimes a light buzz, other times an all consuming crescendo of screams and unintelligible curses. Now they were speaking with him almost conversationally, as if pitying him for what was to come.
Stop fighting it.
Give in and you won’t be driven beyond breaking, we will let you fade quietly.
Xiao shook his head and glanced across the water, if he focused he could see patches of light between the growing shadows that had slowly encompassed him. He could feel them blanketing his body, feather-light touches hidden under the whispers of the night air. Fingers ghosted across his arms before latching on and clawing at his skin. They grabbed for his throat and tore at his chest. His skin burned everywhere they grabbed, yet looking down there wasn’t so much as a scratch despite feeling like he was beginning to bleed out.
Its time
Its time
Stop fighting
Just let go
His breathing quickened, mustering up the last shreds of his strength to whisper out loud. “It's a trick. They aren’t here. They can’t hurt me.” Xiao tried to will himself to stay calm, but they were surrounding him. Gasping for breath he could feel his lungs begin to flood with blood.
Too much blood. He was drowning in a river of it as he collapsed into the water in front of him, gagging at the mix of blood and stale water that filled his mouth and lungs. The voices were screaming by this point.
Our blood
You will choke on our blood
You will die by the hands of thousands
You’ve failed Rex Lapis
You’ve failed the Yaksha
You will die here
No one will remember you
Desperate to breathe, to escape the eternal nightmare he was sinking into Xiao tried to rip off the mask. It didn’t move. It wouldn’t.
The mask. The face of one who killed thousands with no remorse, who stood there and watched countless enemies breathe their final breath. It had melded to his face, still he could feel the weight of it as he desperately clawed at the edges trying to remove it. Of course. Xiao thought to himself bitterly as he choked back more blood, dunking his head back into the water as if it could wash away his karmic sins. Of course I die as a soldier, rather than as myself.
Xiao opened his mouth to scream in frustration, only to choke on more blood and water as he did. How was there still so much blood?
The voices had blended together and his vision was pitch black, an endless abyss of nothingness and everything surrounded him as the last Yashka began to feel the last of his strength give out. A sigh escaped his lips as his body went limp, eons of fighting and exhaustion catching up to him all at once.
Rolling onto his back Xiao stared up at the nothingness that surrounded him, somewhere deep in the recesses of his fading mind he remembered there was a full moon out that night, the thought bringing a smile to his lips as he closed his eyes. At least something could watch over him in his last moments, if only the voices could quiet down.
As if on cue the faint sound of a flute pierced through the voices, quiet yet powerful enough to snap his eyes open. Is this what death is like? Xiao wondered as his mind slowly cleared. The voices were still overpowering him, but something about the the calming trill of the flute caused Xiao to fixate on it with all his might.
There it was again. Louder than before he struggled to dig through his muddled mind to figure out what song was playing, but the water surrounding him was only further muting the song. Struggling against the weight of the shadows he sat up ignoring the voices as he tried to navigate the pitch black. Eventually he picked up on where the unknown song was coming from. Taking a shaky breath Xiao realized the taste of blood that had been staining his mouth had vanished, his chest felt lighter as he summoned his spear to his side, the jade providing a source of light in the unending darkness. On shaky legs the Yashka began to rise, using his spear as a crutch to stand upon.
Stumbling blindly through the dark Xiao focused all of his strength on getting closer to the flute, the melody growing more energetic by the second yet maintaining the soft undertone that he’d first heard.
As the music grew louder the voices began to grow quieter. Xiao was beginning to see shapes through the darkness again. The moon was the first to appear, a hazy blob blocking out the bottom portion of it as Xiao grew closer.
Closer.
He had to get closer to whoever was playing that music. So he did. Every step hurt, but with every move he felt freer than he had in years. The song was still unrecognizable, but as the fog over his mind lifted Xiao realized the music wasn’t coming from just any flute but Dihua flute. Tilting his head to the side Xiao tried to focus on the figure still too fuzzy for him to identify. He hadn’t heard the song of a Dihua flute in decades if not centuries, he’d thought the art had been lost. Who was this stranger? Curiosity and the need to hear more of the music brought Xiao closer to the small island, water lapping at his ankles as he stumbled forward. Whoever was playing the flute seemed unperturbed by the masked figure limping towards them as they continued to play. He was so close now.
Reaching up to the small ledge Xiao dragged himself up, wheezing as he stood up. The last of the shadows faded away as Xiao now stood in front of the mysterious flutist, swaying with the music as he took another shuddering breath, drinking in the purity of it all.
The music stopped. Xiao stopped with it. Desperate to hear the song again he managed to barely croak out “Keep playing.”
The unknown flutist stared up at Xiao, a knowing smile on their face as they waved to him. “Hey there!” A boy. He looked young, but if Xiao’s own face was anything to go by he knew looks could be deceiving.
“Please. Play it again.” Xiao was growing more desperate by the second, for the first time in centuries there were no shadows, there was no ringing in his ears.
The stranger just stared up at him, as if waiting for something, “Why don’t you take off the mask? I like seeing my audience’s reactions.”
“I…” Stiffening, Xiao looked down at the man. He’d forgotten he was still wearing the mask. Immediately he thought back to what happened just moments ago. Would it even come off? “I don’t… I don’t think it will come off.”
The man giggled and set down his flute before standing up. With emerald green eyes sparkling he leaned in close, reaching his hand out towards Xiao’s face. On instinct Xiao flinched away, stilling as the man hummed the tune from earlier. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.” The man’s soothing voice caused Xiao to lean back in, the man’s hands brushing against the exposed edge of his skin causing Xiao to shiver as he slowly pulled the mask away. Cool air hit his newly exposed face, the man’s breath hitching as he lowered the mask with a smile. “There we go.” He placed the mask in Xiao’s hand, before grabbing his wrist and tugging him to the ground. “Sit with me. I’ll play ‘till you relax.” Leaning back Xiao watched the man as he held up the flute and began to play.
As the music flowed around him Xiao’s eyes and body began to feel heavy, eventually floating in and out of consciousness as the man’s song continued to play, the dihua flute’s soft sounds brought him closer and closer to sleep. The last thing Xiao remembered before falling asleep on the man’s shoulders was the music stopping, a faint “Goodnight Alatus” muttered against the top of his head before falling into the first quiet sleep in months.
The following morning Xiao woke for the first time in weeks without shaking in fear from nightmares, feeling refreshed and more relaxed than ever before. Looking around the stranger was nowhere to be found, instead a single cecilia lay next to him with a folded up piece of paper. Xiao twirled the flower in his fingers, more than a little confused by how a flower from Mondstadt had ended up next to him as he held up the paper. On it was a neat loopy handwriting that read
I hope my Song for the Damned helped. (Don’t worry the name is still a work in progress.) If you ever want to hear it again just ask the winds and I’ll make sure to play it for you, no matter where I am. Just save some time for me next time I visit.
~ Barbatos