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"Hasegawa-san, may I have a moment of your time?" In the middle of his own home, the other Thieves only just out of earshot, wasn't really where she wanted to have this conversation, but if she waited any longer they'd be stuck in the camper on the road to Osaka. As comfortable as she was beginning to find the vehicle, one of the amenities sorely missed in the cramped space was privacy.
"You need something?" he asked, adjusting his glasses as he did so. Thankfully without the accompanying dramatic flash she could swear Ren practiced in the mirror.
Makoto couldn't resist a quick glance around at the others sprawled comfortably anywhere they could grab a seat. Akane had something pulled up on her laptop, and everyone was watching with varying degrees of amusement as she gesticulated wildly at the screen. Something about their last calling card, she believed. More importantly, none of them were paying their little corner of the living room any mind.
Well, Makoto thought ruefully, she would have to have this talk with them, too. But maybe not everyone at once.
She faced Inspector Hasegawa, straight-backed and shoulders squared. "I would like to apologize," Makoto said stiffly but clearly.
Hasegawa's dark brows rose in surprise. "For what?"
She had hoped he wouldn’t ask. Still, she owed him an answer and would give it to the best of her ability. “We all knew going after Akane was a trap, but it was my own recklessness that pushed everyone to go to the Jail before we could make a proper plan. My rash decision put the entire team at risk and you in an incredibly dangerous position. For that I am truly sorry.”
There was a long moment where Makoto couldn’t bring herself to meet Hasegawa’s eyes. When she finally raised hers from the ground, the inspector’s expression was a confusing mix of exasperation and - dare she say it - fondness.
“Niijima,” he began, “I’m not going to say you guys weren’t being reckless, because you know you were. And I do mean you guys - you all made the decision to go, not just you. But what you did, you did for my daughter. What’s more, you gave me the power to help her myself.” Hasegawa smiled ruefully. “I don’t think I can thank you enough for any of that.”
“But you-!”
“Would be sitting at home, still fighting with myself over a decision I made years ago. One that made Akane miserable enough for Konoe to trap her in a Jail. If you had to save her from that for me, I don’t think I could ever forgive myself.”
Makoto’s fingers clenched unconsciously. “You still shouldn’t have been put in that position,” she insisted stubbornly. All the Phantom Thieves knew intimately the pain that came with summoning a Persona for the first time. Not just the physical pain - the fierce battle within yourself to stand up and do what you believed in, be true to yourself, in the face of your fears and oppressors. It was difficult, and frightening, and Makoto wouldn’t trade Agnes for the world.
But given the choice, she would never force someone else into the kind of danger and turmoil it took to give birth to an Awakening.
“Stubborn,” Hasegawa sighed. “Why don’t we just chalk it up to a lesson learned? Everything turned out alright. And you’ll know better if something like this ever happens again.”
Makoto could feel heat flooding her cheeks at that. And, oh, this was embarrassing. “I,” she began, “t-that is… I don’t know if I can.” Because this was not the first incident. If she had, as the inspector said, learned something, then her rushing half-cocked after Akane never would have happened. Two such incidents, now. She officially had a history of reckless behavior. The thought was utterly mortifying.
“Listen, Niijima-”
“I got myself kidnapped by the yakuza!” she blurted, mouth moving almost beyond her control. She had to make him understand, because this talking in circles was only growing more painful with each passing moment. She needed to apologize and he needed to accept it with the full understanding of what sort of person she was, otherwise this was going to haunt her forever.
As far as explanations went though, that was entirely inadequate.
“You what?!”
The Thieves and Akane all startled at Hasegawa’s squawk, glancing over. Thankfully both Ren and Haru were polite enough to draw everyone’s attention back to whatever they were discussing, but it didn’t stop Makoto from pulling Hasegawa into the kitchen.
“Kaneshiro,” she started. “When I first joined the Phantom Thieves they were trying to change Kaneshiro’s heart.” At her own request, but that wasn’t important right now. “I didn’t understand how they did things back then and I, um, I demanded to see him. The others had to bail me out and it turned into a huge mess.” To put it lightly.
“Ooo-kaay. That is… the last thing I would have expected from you,” he admitted. “That aside - a yakuza boss, Christ - you’ve done pretty well strategizing for the Thieves, right?”
“Ren’s the leader-”
“Amamiya did a great job leading us through that Jail, but I don’t think it would have gone half as well if it weren’t for you,” he cut her off.
Makoto looked at him uncertainly.
“I’m not going to sit here and give you that trite spiel about being human and making mistakes, Niijima. It’s true; you’ve made some mistakes. Some pretty serious ones, by the sounds of it. But you’ve also done your best for this team. Even if we’re just talking about Kyoto you’ve guided us out of more tight spots than I care to count. You kept track of where each of those teleports went for us, and it was your idea to get your sister to help me after I was arrested, wasn’t it?”
She nodded slowly.
“You’re not just your mistakes, kid. Don’t be so determined to punish yourself for everything that goes wrong,” Hasegawa patted her shoulder.
“I…” she sighed, lips twitching into a small smile. “Thank you.”
Hasegawa’s eyes softened as he looked back toward the living room and the excited chatter within.
“No,” he said quietly, “thank you.”