Work Text:
When Wilbur and Techno turned fifteen, after opening their gifts, their father asked them if there was anything else they wanted to do for their birthday. The boys looked at each other, nodded, then turned back and answered that they were going to dye their hair, and there was nothing he could say that would change their minds.
Philza’s lips quirked into a fond smile. He told them they didn’t need to threaten him and that they could’ve dyed their hair whenever they wanted as long as they told him beforehand. He then informed them that the one they would have to convince was not in fact himself, but their younger brother Tommy.
Tommy was furious. He shouted and raved and kicked and punched and generally caused as much chaos as an eight year old could. For an eight year old like Tommy, this was quite a lot. When asked why he was so opposed to them dyeing their hair, he simply responded “Because you’ll look stupid, you dick’eads!” and continued with his tantrum.
Fed up with his stubbornness, the twins told him outright that they could do whatever they liked with their hair, and that he would just have to get over it. This caused Tommy to stop his warpath and shout “FUCK YOU, BITCH!” at the top of his tiny lungs, then run upstairs, slam his bedroom door, and pout. Techno and Wilbur decided that they might as well go into town and get supplies while they know Tommy isn’t going to stop them.
The two walk into town, Wilbur greeting those they pass, and Techno trying desperately not to make eye contact. The shops were fairly empty, so they grabbed everything they needed and left in only a few minutes. Brown dye for Wilbur, and bright pink for Techno. Neither needed any sort of bleach, as their matching hair was already very light.
Tommy was waiting for them at the kitchen table when they arrived. When nudged by Phil, he recited an obviously rehearsed apology for punching and yelling at them. Phil asked him why it wasn’t appropriate to so and he rolled his eyes, muttering out that he’s not in charge of other people’s hair choices. Phil thanked him, and told him that he was allowed to leave now, but could stay and watch if he wanted.
Surprisingly he chose to stay, as long as he promised to try not to cause any trouble. Wilbur and Techno decided that it would probably be best if Phil was the one that actually did the dyeing, as they didn’t want to do themselves, and wouldn’t dare trust each other near their hair. They played rock paper scissors to decide who got to go first and Techno won, so Phil opened up the box of pink dye.
He carefully sectioned and parted Techno’s shoulder-length hair, carefully coating each small section in dye, making sure not to miss any hair. The chatter in the kitchen was light and comfortable, mostly because Tommy was sat at the end of the table not speaking, gradually looking more and more upset.
When Techno’s whole head was a bubblegum pink, Phil clipped it all up on top of his head and set a timer for half an hour. He opened the box of brown dye for Wilbur and repeated the process. The only notable differences was that Tommy remarked that Wilbur was going to actually look like a shit head, and Techno had to go about three quarters of the way through to rinse out and condition his hair. When Phil was done another half hour timer was set, and the three of them sat back to wait for Techno to come back out.
He appeared in the doorway when Wilbur’s timer had 5 minutes left with a towel wrapped around the top of his head like a turban, eyes shining. Phil asked if he liked it, and Techno said he loved it, but that he and Tommy would have to wait until it was dry to see it. Wilbur left to rinse out his own hair, and Techno followed to use the hair dryer in the bathroom.
With only Tommy and Phil left, they decided to relocate to the living room and the more comfortable couches. Tommy slouched as deep into the sofa as he could, crossing his arms and kicking his legs. Phil gave him a pointed look.
“I know you’re upset, but please try to be happy for them. They’re really excited about this.” Tommy simply glared at Phil and kicked his legs harder. Phil gave up and left Tommy to his pouting, pulling out his phone.
A shout about an hour later got the both of them to sit up straighter, waiting for the two boys to appear. A hand stuck out from the doorway, miming Wilbur’s mouth like a puppet.
“Are you ready for the big reveal?” Phil laughed and answered in the affirmative. The hand puppet retreated and there was a sort of shuffling out of sight.
Techno and Wilbur stepped into view at the same time, gesturing to each others’ heads in the grandest fashion they could muster. They posed in various ridiculous stances, showing just how happy they each were with the result. Phil laughed at their enthusiasm, telling them how nice they looked, and cheering at each pose they struck. Wilbur’s new hair suited him greatly, the fluffy locks hanging in front of one of his eyes as he bounced around the room. Techno still managed to look distinguished with bright pink hair, the color somehow working very well for him as he followed after his twin with a small smile that looked blinding in contrast with his usual poker face.
The excitement was cut short as Tommy shoved past them with tears in his eyes and entered his room before slamming the door so hard the frame rattled.
The twins and their father stood completely still in shock for a few seconds, before Phil hurried to Tommy’s room saying he’d see what exactly was wrong with his youngest. He said he doubted this was really only about their change in hair.
He slowly opened the door, giving Tommy a chance to stop him, but the tiny boy was too busy crying into his pillow to care. Phil sat down on the edge of the bed and started carding his hand through his hair.
“Do you want to tell me what this is really about?” He kept his voice soft.
Tommy shook his head and managed to choke out between sobs that his two older brothers looked stupid and that they should probably just shave at this point.
“Tommy, we both know that if that were true you’d be laughing. Not crying.”
“ ‘m not cryin. ‘m a big man.”
“Sure sweetheart, but you still have to tell me what’s going on so I can try to make it right.”
Tommy sniffled.
In a quiet voice he said, “Just. What was wrong with having blonde hair?”
Phil’s eyebrows rose as realization hit him.
“Ah.” It was all he could think to say. He continued to play with Tommy’s hair until he cried himself out and fell asleep. He kissed his youngest on the head before leaving to go talk to his olders. Oldests? Whichever.
The twins had obviously grown bored of just waiting, and were playing video games when he walked in. Wilbur quickly paused their game, asking if he’d figured out what made Tommy so upset. Phil sat next to them on the sofa.
“He wouldn’t tell me. I think he was too embarrassed. But I’m almost positive I know why anyway.” The two leaned in closer in anticipation.
“I think he’s sad we don’t all match anymore. He seemed to think you hated being blonde. Pretty sure he took that as you hated looking like him. He really looks up to you two, you realize that, right?”
Wil and Techno looked at Phil before looking at each other. They seemed to talk with their eyes, before nodding and telling Phil they knew what to do. He raised an eyebrow skeptically, but relented and let them scamper off toward their shared room.
The next morning, Tommy woke up to Wilbur and Techno wearing matching t-shirts. Both had been colored using what looked like fabric markers scribbled haphazardly onto the originally white shirts. They both had bolded lettering at the top spelling out MINECRAFT MEN in red. The middle of the shirts had crudely drawn pictures of their respective faces, obviously done by the other, as they weren’t exactly flattering. The backs had their names, though Wilbur’s said PRETTY BOY while Techno’s had BLOOD GOD. The two handed Tommy his own shirt with his own face. The back had his name along with BIG MAN. He looked up at his older brothers in sleepy confusion. The two of them pulled it over his head on top of his other shirt and smiled at him.
Wilbur was the one that spoke. “Now we can match whenever we want!”
Tommy blushed, and buried his face in his hands as he sniffled. The twins wrapped their arms around him from either side. Techno had to ruin the moment.
“You know that even if we don’t have the same hair, we still have the exact same face, right?”
Tommy shoved him off the bed and told him to shut up.