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Age 13
Klaus has never been in love before. There weren‘t a whole lot of options to be honest: His family mainly and the guy he got his weed from, who was nice enough but not really his type.
He also didn‘t really get to spend time with him – he had to carefully plan his break outs and couldn‘t afford to linger if he didn‘t want to get caught. Not that Dad would care if it weren‘t for the fact that being high made him useless on missions.
Regardless: What he knew about love he knew from the (admittedly many) Romance Novels he read and from watching Allison and Luther. Not that much happens between them – he was pretty sure they hadn‘t even kissed yet. It was kinda boring, but also the only actual romantic relationship he has seen happen, so. Best not to get picky.
So really, who could say he was in love with Ben? Certainly not Klaus. There was good reason to believe that the butterflies in his stomache he felt whenever Ben smiled didn‘t mean anything. Or the way he couldn‘t stop staring at him. Or the way he just seemed to end up touching Ben at every opportunity, because keeping his hands to himself was suddenly so much harder than it used to be.
They were siblings – of course Ben was important to him. It was natural to want to spend as much time as he could with him. His Brother was prone to nagging, but he always made it clear that it came from a place of love and worry and it was nice to be loved and worried about.
In a platonic way of course.
Thinking about Ben loving him left him breathless, so he generally didn‘t. „Suffocated by questionable thoughts about brother“ sounded like a shitty way to die. Knowing Dad, he would put it on his grave stone as a lesson for the other‘s. Right under „Family Dissapointment“. Bastard.
(He would take the few terrible attempts at poetry to said grave though.)
(It wasn‘t his fault that Ben‘s lips looked so fucking kissable.)
Age 15
Ben was reading again. Klaus wasn't sure what - the Title was in russian and so far only Allison, Vanya and Ben had learned that particular language although that would sadly change soon - but that wasn't what mattered anyway. What mattered was the opportunity it gave him.
When Ben read he got immersed in his Books. Meaning that Klaus didn't just get up to an entire hour of unabashed staring without having to give an excuse for it, he would also get to see Bens reactions. He was especially fond of the way Ben would always, without fail, end up chewing on something - his lips, his Fingers, Pens, Plastic-straws, Sweater-paws and on one memorable occasion Klaus' finger.
He revisited that particular memory almost daily in the shower.
(Plush, soft lips and a hot, wet mouth. He could feel Ben's teeth gently scrape against him. Occasionaly a soft suction. It took Ben ten agonizing, heavenly minutes to notice and scramble away, spilling apologies, cheeks a pretty pink color. Klaus had laughed it off and told him he would just wash the spit off. He didn't. He went to the bathroom stuck the exact same fingers that just were in Ben's mouth into his own and started frantically jerking off to the memory of his own Brother sucking on them. He could taste Bens spit – he was practically lapping up his own brothers spit - and that realization was enough to make him spill all over himself. They didn't talk about it when he came back after, but Ben didn't stop blushing until Dinner.)
By the size of the Book Ben would spend about another hour reading away at it.
Unless he got interrupted. Klaus was pretty sure he could pass of kissing away the wrinkle between Ben's furrowed brows as brotherly affection.
Hm. Uninterrupted staring or kissing Ben and getting some more of his attention, possibly even getting to cuddle up to him while he read as a concession for letting him read in peace?
Decision made, he leaned forward.
Age 17
There were many great things that came from being taller than Ben; he could comfortably sneak his arm around Bennys shoulder, Bens head fit perfectly into his neck when he could get him onto his lap, he could lord things he wanted over him.
It also meant he could push Benny-Boys favourite Book so far beneath his closet that he wouldn‘t be able to get to it all that easily giving him a solid few minutes of shamelessly staring at his favourite brothers ass.
In his defense: It was a very nice ass. A fantastic ass. Klaus would have his hands full of these sweet, sweet cheeks if he ever got to grope Ben again. It was soft and tight and big which Klaus knew because being drunk made him brave and he has slapped that amazing ass on more than one occasion and once even „playfully“ squeezed it.
It was so, so worth it by the way. Ben had frozen for a solid three seconds and then loudly shrieked „Klaus!“ at the top of his lungs before slapped his arm away, but damn. So worth it. Seeing Ben blush – pink suited him really well – was just another Bonus.
Just – Fuck.
Fuck.
Klaus was always down to do dirty things to and with his baby brother, but that had opend a door of completely new fantasies. There was a very large part of him that desperately wanted to grope his ass again. Knead it until Ben was squirming and panting. Play with it until his Baby was willing to sit on his face and just suffocate him a little bit. Just a smigden.
He just wanted his Brother to ride his face, was that so much to ask? Because really, Ben deserved everything good and nice in the world, especially being eaten out and Klaus would happily offer himself up given the slightest chance.
„Got it!“
And there went the free show.
„Congrats. I totally knew you could do it. I‘m so proud!“
„You could have helped, you know.“
„Absolutely not.“
„Bastard.“
Ben sounded terribly fond.
Age 23
„Beeeeen“, Klaus definitly did not whine, „I‘m bored. Do something.“
Ben did not do something.
„I‘m serious. Stop reading and help me ..what‘s the name? Brain or Mind something. Coming up with idea‘s. But like, in a ..stormy way? Yelling random ideas at each other and writing them down?“
Ben did not stop reading.
„Beeeeeeeeeen.“
„Brain storm and Mind Map.“, Ben sighed.
„Yes! That‘s the Bitch! You need to help me Brain Storm. What are you in the Mood for?“
„Reading.“
And – Klaus knew why he acted that way. He was imitately aware of the why. The two of them had spend the last few years with each other all day, every day. No amount of drugs was able to completely make Ben go away, something he was glad about even with the endless, never ending, please just shut up for once, nagging.
Privately, he thought that it was an actual miracle this hadn‘t happend before. Really, the only thing suprising about this was that it was Ben that had started it.
‚It‘ being last night.
In the first few months Ben had waited outside the doors when Klaus was busy having sexy time.
But then being apart ended up feeling worse and worse, until both of them ended up straight up hysterical because Ben stayed outside while Klaus went into the bathroom and they couldn‘t see each other and Klaus couldn‘t breathe through the sheer horror and panic that not having Ben right there gave him – and – well. Now Ben just sat on the far end of the room reading and ignoring anything that happend.
Until last night when Ben decidedly did not ignore anything that happend.
Until last night when Ben held eye contact with him while some guy pounded into him and talked.
And god did he talk. Even the memory made him shiver because holy shit.
(„I wish I could sit on your dick. He wouldn‘t even have to pull out, I could just ride you like this.“
Ben licked his lips and Klaus gave a shuddering moan.
„I want to feel you inside me, I want you in my guts. You‘re so big, do you think you could give me a belly buldge? I think you could.“
„Fuck“, Klaus cursed, still holding Bens gaze „Yes, Baby, yes.“)
But when he woke up Ben just.. ignored it. And – Klaus wasn‘t good at serious talks in general, let alone serious talks about emotions. God knows his Father didn‘t teach him how to have them. The closest to some kind of lesson about Emotions was how to manipulate them for interviews.
But it was Ben and that mattered. He mattered.
Especially now that it was clear that his interest was not one sided. The only question that mattered was-
„Yesterday. Was that just – Dirty talk. Or do you actually..you know?“, Klaus very equilently asked. He was also the only one to ask, which should absolutely count for something.
Ben went rigid. He didn‘t turn away from his book when he tensely returned: „I thought we weren‘t talking about that.“
Which – what? „Yeah, well. I obviously am talking about it.“
„Does it even matter?“
„What?“
Ben finally looked up from his stupid, fucking book. „Does it matter? I‘m – Klaus, I‘m dead. We can‘t – where is this supposed to go?“
And just for a second Klaus was actually speechless at the sheer fucking audacity. Naturally it didn‘t hold long, before the words practically exploded out of him: „Does it matter? Does it matter? Are you actually asking if it would matter if you‘re in love with me?“
This wasn‘t fair. Nothing about this was fair.
It wasn‘t fair that Ben was dead, it wasn‘t fair that Klaus was burn with this fucking curse of an ability and most of all wasn‘t fair that Ben would just bursh him off the one time he actually had the goddamn guts to talk about shit like this.
He barked something resembling a laugh and swallowed a few times, because fuck it. He was probably gonna end up sobbing sooner or later anyways, so. Ya know. Fuck it all the way to hell.
„I‘ve been in love with you for our entire goddamn life, so don‘t you dare tell me it dosen‘t matter.“
Absently, he noted that his voice was shaking. So were his hands and his entire body, honestly. God, he needed a goddamn drink, he might have some pills somwhere, or maybe not, why wasn‘t Ben saying anything-
„Oh.“
That‘s it? Oh?
Klaus just confessed his fucking love and all he got was an Oh? He wanted a refund.
His hands were still shaking.
„I- I thought maybe-“ Ben looked a little bit like he might start crying and was that a good thing or not? „Me too. I mean, I love you too, just. I didn‘t realize you- I didn‘t think-“
And, yeah he got it now.
A very apt way to describe his emotions. Maybe Benny was onto something with that, because he got the overwhelming urge to say ‚Oh‘ too.
He didn‘t because he was the cooler brother and he wasn‘t gonna follow anybody‘s trend and also he just noted that was a sucky way to respond to a confession.
Instead he let out an actual laugh this time, breathy and shaky and weak, but real because Ben loved him back.
The world was shit and unfair, but goddamn it Ben loved him back and they would make this work.
Age 30
The first time that Ben touched him since his dead was shortly before the Apocalypse and in the form of a punch.
The second time that Ben touched him, Klaus finally made his life long fantasy of making out with his brother true.
His lips were exactly as kissable as they looked.
Age 34 - Ben
Ben was curled up on his brother‘s side and reading the book Klaus held up; occasionaly making a humming noise when he wanted Klaus to turn to the next page. Ben could have interacted with objects around him, but that would be exhausting in a way that touching Klaus wasn‘t.
It also made for a good excuse to get all the cuddles he wanted; He wasn‘t quite as good as Klaus at actually saying what he wanted and felt. Dear old Dad made sure that none of them were very comfortable admitting..weaknesses as such.
„You know, I distinctly remember a conversation where I tried to explain that that thing between Luther and I wasn‘t technically incest and you said that if I had to use the word ‚technically‘ then I already lost.“ Allison airily mentioned, looking Klaus straight in the eye, before meaningfuly sliding into the – for her – empty space by his side. She didn‘t manage to make eye contact with Ben, but their siblings had gotten pretty accurate with the position of his body. It was a definite improvement.
Klaus beamed back. „Well you see, Sister dearest,“ a dramatic pause „I‘m not in denial about the Post Mortem Incest. I‘m aware and accepting of my romantic feelings for our dead brother.“
Allison snorted.