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Larry was screaming.
And that was loud enough to cause a hell of a headache all right; it was almost as bad as the whistling of a steam engine at full blast. And yet, as Jed picked himself off the floor and dusted himself off, he had a feeling he could guess as to what he owed the displeasure.
“You’re—but that’s not—How—-“
“One at a time, Gigantor,” Jed cut in, coming over and clapping Larry on the shoulder. “Though, I guess you’re not so giant now, are you, on account of the fact that your head fits nicely under the brim of my hat ‘n all.”
Larry didn't seem to know how to respond to that. And Jed was halfway through thinking of some good short jokes of his own, when Mr. Spoilsport Himself stepped in.
“My Liege, if I may. This is another side effect of the tablet.”
“I was getting to that Octavius.”
“Not fast enough, obviously.”
Jed rolled his eyes, and Larry took a step away, glancing over at a handful of Chinese railway workers talking to Attila the Hun before returning his attention to himself and Octavius.
“Okay. The tablet. Yeah, I can believe that. But how—"
Octavius sent Jed a quick annoyed look of his own before clearing his throat and launching into an explanation. “Once, every few midwinters, we come to life not as we are, but as we were. Or, I suppose in our case, and of the majority of this museum's residents, as we would have been. No plastic, no metal, no fabric faces, and full-sized. I assure you, most of us had a reaction not unlike your own the first time. But now, it feels quite natural.”
“That’s because it is natural,” Ahkmenrah cut in. He took a deep breath in and out, and smiled. “Let me tell you, I never thought that one could feel organs, and yet, breathing into my lungs fills me with such a unique joy.”
“Right, because mummies had their internal organs removed….” Larry muttered to himself, turning to Ahkmenrah. “So what is this? Some sort of Christmas miracle?”
“Hardly,” Ahkmenrah replied. “I’m not quite sure of the logistics myself, but I have observed through the years that the magic always happens on a full moon, and always near the end of the year. My current theory is that when there are more than the usual number of moons within a solar cycle, the tablet becomes fully charged and capable of working beyond its normal means.”
Larry considered this for a moment, then shrugged, apparently finding this plausible. Or at least as plausible as everything else he’d witnessed in the museums at night.
(Good. It had taken the last three stooges nearly a decade to stop freaking out, if the rumours he heard were true.)
“So, does everything come to, like, actual life?”
“Nearly,” Ahkmenrah explained. “You really should see the T-Rex. His feathers are exquisite!”
"Huh, so they did have feathers," Larry mused.
"Of course," Ahkmenrah agreed. "Allow me to show you."
The two went off, now with a much calmer-looking Larry in tow, and just like that, Jed was left alone with Octavius again.
Or, okay, left in the diorama room with Octavius and all of the other miniatures-turned-human who were milling about, getting used to their bodies at their new size again, or greeting their friends from the other dioramas, or heading off to do Lord-knows-what until the morning came.
“Shall we, then?” Octavius asked, moseying his way over and offering a hand, which Jed ignored.
“Darn tootin’ we shall!” he replied, eager nonetheless. "Race you to the Hall of Meteorites!"
And just like that, he was off, leaving Octavius to sputter and chase after him, yelling protests as they made their way down together.
The Hall of Meteorites had always been Jed's favourite. Well, that or the Halls of Gems and Minerals right next door. It wasn't all his fault; there was prospector's blood in him. Especially on these nights, when he apparently did have blood. (Mind, he didn't know quite what made prospector blood different from other blood, but the saying stayed with him from something in the long past, and he could feel the truth of the statement in the bones that he also apparently now had, if just for the night.)
It was also one of the few exhibits that hardly changed during this night or any other, though a few seemed to be giving off a blue halo tonight.
"Something in these rocks just excites me," he explained to Octavius, who was doubled over, straining to catch his breath due to the impromptu run. ...or maybe due to the several obstacles Jed had thrown in his way, trying to play dirty to ensure himself a win.
"Do tell?" he wheased out, regardless.
"You know, it's just that… these rocks used to be in space. Y'know? A lot of 'em burned up on their way to make it here, but they survived."
He pointed to one; fairly large and pocked.
"I tried mining that one once, some years back. Hardly made a dent. Bet if I tried now, I could destroy it all completely. Weird, ain't it? How things seem so different on nights like tonight."
"Not all that different," Octavius replied, recovered far too quickly and standing abreast.
Jed looked over at him. "What d'y'mean?"
Octavius frowned momentarily, thinking over his words. "Well, there was an ancient Greek philosopher, Plato, who spoke of perception as if living in a cave, in which one could see only a wall in front, while a fire was lit behind. Those who lived in such a matter would name those shadows, and see them as reality, whereas the true nature, or at least large parts of it, were obscured from their vision unbeknownst to them. I don't believe that we are necessarily seeing the objects, in that allegory, but I find it comforting to know that even if these are still just shadows, we gain more from knowing their view from a different angle. These are the same shapes, the same exhibits as always, just..."
"Smaller," Jed supplied. "Less gargantuan."
"Or at least, we are bigger, and thus the relative size difference means that what once were known as mountains might now seem merely anthills."
"You look the same to me, at least," Jed offered, elbowing Octavius in the ribs. It really didn't give the desired effect, due to his plate armour, but it made his companion smile, nonetheless.
"It's nice indeed to know that some things will stay precisely the same through it all. I'm glad that one of them is you."
Later on, they'd go through the gems, and see how what Jed had once called "the biggest fuckin' diamond I have ever set my eyes on" was now no bigger than his thumbnail, and then visit the Hall of North American Forests and feel the wind in their hair as it rustled through the leaves. And later still, they would visit with birds of the world, and maybe Jed would finally let Octavius hold his hand as they read about the mating rituals of various species.
But for now, there was just the thrill of exploring that which they'd had around them all along, but from a new perspective, and with new eyes.
Jed couldn't wait to see where the night would take him, and knew of no-one that he'd rather have with him on the exploration than that stupid, brilliant warrior at his side.