Work Text:
The portal is beautiful, it really is. The murky purple that divides the Nether and the Overworld dances and swirls in on itself languidly. It’s otherworldly and it is an exit.
An exit that Tommy can’t bring himself to walk through.
He wants to. So badly, the teen wants to step into the purple depths and appear in the lands of the SMP. He wants to see the blue sky, the green grass, the white snow and, most importantly, the Christmas tree.
All Tommy has is a polaroid. The giant tree standing tall in the city, ornaments and lights adoring every branch. He wants to see how tall it really is, and see how small it makes him feel.
But, he can’t bring himself to go through the portal.
Tommy knows that Dream has agreed to let him in on Christmas. Wilbur had been so happy when he went to tell him the news. His brother wouldn’t lie about that, even if Tommy didn’t trust him that much. Wilbur was just a little too clueless, too kind and too trusting of those who’d hurt them.
It wasn’t his fault, but still.
There was something in the back of his mind telling him no. A warning, an itch and it froze his feet in place, rooting the teen to the Nether Hub’s blackstone floor.
Maybe the warning was Dream’s voice saying,
“If you go through, I’ll kill you, like genuinely kill you, Tommy.”
Tommy doesn’t want to be afraid of him.
Tears well up in his eyes, and Tommy tries not to choke as his dry throat clicks. The Nether is unbearable hot, but the teen still feels so goddamn cold. He’s always been so cold, and there was no fire that could thaw his frozen heart, even as he stood in the fucking Nether.
“I can’t do it,” he whispers to himself, ribs pinching painfully as despair threatens to crush him.
They wouldn’t want an exile like you around anyways, a voice tells him.
Dejected, Tommy swallows all of his shattered pride and turns his back on that beautiful gateway. It was the key, the answer to his perpetual loneliness, to see all his friends and family, but Tommy just couldn’t bring himself to grab it.
The key to his cage is right in front of him, but Tommy can’t summon the courage to free himself.
Fuck this, he tells himself.
“Tommy?” a voice asks softly.
The blond freezes as terror rushes through his viens because he knows that voice.
“...white flags...”
“We’ve planted TNT under your nation...”
“You don’t hate me...”
“I’ll kill you...”
Dream’s careful footsteps tap lightly against the stone walkway. Tommy panics, feeling so trapped and so vulnerable with his back to his enemy.
It’s so hard to breathe, but Tommy’s trying his best. The Nether is suffocating, but he needs to know where Dream is.
Because Tommy isn’t safe.
“Tommy...” Dream calls again, this time sounding closer.
Making up his mind, Tommy whirls on his heels to frantically face the masked man. Fight or flight has kicked in, and adrenaline runs through every vein, keeping the teen aware of everything around him.
His fists are up, protecting his face from any blows that may come his way and he stands defensively, just like Techno had taught him. His pupils are blown and he can feel his body shaking.
He’s ready.
Much to his surprise, there is no weapon in Dream’s hands. In fact, the masked man wasn’t even wearing any armor. He was just standing there, in his green hoodie, expression unreadable due to his mask.
“W-what do you want,” Tommy speaks, trying to sound brave.
“Nothing, Tommy,” the man replied.
Tommy knows Dream is a liar.
“Stay away,” the teen warns, “Don’t come any nearer, or I’ll fight you.”
Tommy knows he himself is also a liar.
“I’ll kill you, like genuinely kill you, Tommy,” his mind reminds him.
Shut up, he shoots back, weakly.
“I promise I’m not here to hurt you, ok?” Dream says quietly.
Tommy narrows his eyes, still hiding behind his fists.
“Tommy, I promise,” the man tries again, sounding rather desperate, “It’s Christmas. Don’t you want to see the tree?”
Tommy does.
So he drops his hands back to his sides, straightening himself to stand normally once more.
“I’m watching you, Dream,” Tommy tells the older man.
“Okay, no... that’s fine,” his enemy tells him gently, “Come on, I lead you.”
Tommy snorts, but walks closer to the portal nonetheless. He is quite thrown off by the uncharacteristically nice way Dream was treating him. The teen leaves his guard up, still wary, but the fear has started to drip away.
“Why do you sound so... sad?” he asks as they step through the portal.
All he sees is the way Dream’s posture slumps as the portal whisks them into the Overworld.
•••
It had been two years.
Two years since Tommy has jumped from the the Nether Hub’s path and fallen into the lava.
Two years since Dream had forced the sixteen year old to burn to death, left all alone on Christmas Day.
Tommy had committed suicide on Christmas instead of coming to join everyone else at the tree. The lava had consumed him, stolen his life and destroyed his body.
And Dream never forgave himself for it.
Phantommy stuck around, but he didn’t do much, didn’t say much. The ghost was the only remaniants of the kid known as TommyInnit. He only appeared to Ghostbur, or occasionally to Phil and rarely to Tubbo. Tommy was as unpredictable in death as he was in life and the lack of his presence left the world feeling desolate and incomplete.
He only constantly showed up in the Nether Hub on Christmas Day, unable to cross into the SMP.
When Dream had found out, he promised to help Tommy see the Christmas tree.
The tyrant feels the tears run down his face as he watches the way the young ghost’s face lights up when he looks up at the tree. His transparent eyes wander the scene excitedly, as the young ghost tries to take it all in.
The tears run down his face, and Dream flinches. They burn his skin, carving a permanent pathway as he weeps for the kid he helped kill.
There is a knife buried deep in Dream’s heart.
The clear sound of Tommy’s laughter in the Christmas square twists it, the metal cutting harshly into him.
Dream knows he deserves a slow death, to bleed out.
He also knows that Tubbo will be the one to give it to him.
But for now, the SMP leader is silently resigned to watch the teen and all his childlike wonder, giggle and play in the cold, cold snow.
What he wouldn’t do to be able to change the past.
•••
Tommy laughs when he see how magnificent the tree really is in person. Joy bubbles in his chest, and his heart soars.
Standing in the December snow, he stares up, eyes burning as the pure white snow reflected the bright sunlight straight into his face.
Tommy is so warm.
I’m finally free.