Work Text:
(harley quinn & jason & steph)
It starts with Stephanie breaking Harley’s living room window. Jason is sitting on the couch, braiding Harley’s hair as they watch cat compilations on YouTube. Jason is snickering as he watches Bud and Lou’s mounting confusion over the constant meowing without a source. Harley is slurping at her blue raspberry Icee, occasionally skittering her fingers across the floor for the hyenas to chase.
That’s when the window explodes inward and one Stephanie Brown clad in her purple fursuit swings through, screeching a battle cry. Honestly, if she didn’t already break the window, Jason is convinced that her caterwauling would have done the job just fine.
The next few minutes are complete and utter chaos. Spoiler has barely landed when she’s leaping up to dodge a snarling Bud. Harley yanked her head out of Jason’s hands when the window broke, ruining the half-completed braid and throwing all her weight into keeping Lou from also attacking. All three of them are yelling and the hyenas are cackling as they try to rip Steph apart.
Jason knows that they’re just reacting to the intruder and trying to protect him and Harley. He appreciates the sentiment but he would appreciate it more if they stop trying to maul his best friend to death. His sister? His sister’s girlfriend? His best friend that is sort-of his sister and is also his sister’s girlfriend?
Whatever. Now is not the time for Jason to be pondering this.
By the time that everything has calmed down, Spoiler’s hanging from the chandelier looking like she’s channeling Dickiebird. Harley is pouting because her Icee spilled in the confusion, with a wild head of hair that resembles Einstien’s. Jason has a hyena under each arm and while Lou has lost interest in favor of layering Jason’s face in slobber, Bud is still snarling. At least it’s quietened down, marginally.
“Spoiler,” Jason grits out, “What are you doing here?”
She has the decency to look slightly abashed. For a few seconds.
“Me and Oracle were working on updating the trackers and I noticed that yours showed up in a known Harley Quinn location.”
Jason raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “And?”
“And I thought you were in trouble,” Steph bites out, suddenly looking angry. “The last time you were alone with a clown, it didn’t go well.”
Oh. Oh. OH. Jason falls silent, feeling a weird mixture of flattered and embarrassed.
“Understatement of the year, Sweetcheeks.” Harley chooses to interject, pinching Jason’s red cheek, “But I would rather off myself than ever hurt Red Jay so don’t worry.”
The nickname came from a night of Harley complaining that she couldn’t call Jason Red since Ivy was already her Red. Later as she was watching a documentary on bluejays, she had leaned forward and shouted “Eureka!”
It’s better than TJ at least.
Stephanie looks floored. Jason offers a shrug. “Harls is one of my mamas. Surprise?”
“So, what are you doing then?” She looks appeased and Jason figures that she’s not about to go snitching to Bruce. Not that she would—one of the rules that make up the Dead Robins Club (composed of Steph, Jason, and Damian) is that Bruce stays out of it, especially when it’s something he wouldn’t approve of.
“Just chilling,” Harley explains. “It’s very important to relax and destress when you live a high-stress life such as ours.”
“Ah. Can I join? Just for tonight.” I need to make sure Jason is okay goes unsaid but everyone in the room still hears it. Harley only smiles invitingly and entends her arms out welcomingly.
An hour later, Jason has whipped up some pineapple coconut chicken curry for the three of them to eat. They are watching cat videos with cucumber face masks on as Steph fixes Harley’s braid in apology. Harley had painted Jason’s toenails Spoiler Purple (a color only available in Gotham), in honor of their guest.
She also ends up painting Bud and Lou’s claws Spoiler Purple.
Spoiler alert—it’s not just for tonight.
(poison ivy & jason & tim)
Jason isn’t surprised when Tim finds out. Steph is notoriously bad at hiding things from her self-proclaimed “bitchin’ queerplatonic soulmate”. It’s why the Snitches get Stitches Bitches Dead Robins Club rule only extends to Bruce. One look from Tim has Steph spilling everything.
(For Damian, it’s a look from Dick, and Jason is similarly weak to Cass. None of them are good at rejecting Duke. None of them bother to pretend they can hide anything from Alfred)
Jason privately thinks that Tim knew before Steph ever said anything. They all show their love differently—Dick by aggressively mother-henning, Jason by passive-aggressive taunting and baking, Duke by listening and pretending their entire family isn’t insane, and Damian from carefully calculated stab wounds and portraits.
Tim, Bruce, and Babs all like to show their love through cyberstalking. (It’s sort of a family problem. Side note but Jason knew that Barbie forgave him when all twenty-eight bounties on his head disappeared at once) Between the three of them, the entire family’s whereabouts are known at any given point in time.
There’s probably a spreadsheet with everything on it.
Tim had most likely known where Jason had been disappearing to for a couple of months. He probably noticed that Steph barging in hadn’t crossed any of Jason’s boundaries and felt comfortable to pop up himself.
That’s what Jason is musing on as he washes the dishes, glancing up to see Ivy and Tim planting edelweiss flowers that Tim brought with him. Knowing Tim’s whip-smart mind that’s always three steps ahead of everyone else, they probably have a specific meaning that’s passing over Jason’s head.
He’ll get Ivy to tell him later.
Jason is actually glad that Tim is helping Ivy with her gardening since Jason can’t any longer. He’s not worried about Tim replacing him or jealous. Tending to Ivy’s garden (and Alfred’s, using some of the tricks Ivy taught him) with her used to calm Jason down after a rough day. Bruce couldn’t even complain, not when another villainess had custody of Jason when it started and he could clearly see the calming effect it had on him.
Alfred was also preening because his rose garden started winning awards every year.
Jason misses those days but he can’t stand the feel of dirt between his fingers now. He tried it exactly once and the flashbacks of wet dirt filling his lungs as he struggled out of his grave convinced him to never try it again.
Ivy suggested gardening gloves but when he kneeled down beside the tilled dirt, he froze. Ivy didn’t press when Jason stumbled away and threw up.
After that, Ivy gardened, either humming or singing as she did while Jason baked. Right now, he’s making kahk—a Middle Eastern cookie that Talia got Jason hooked on. The dough is resting as he prepares the agemeya, chopping walnuts and keeping an eye on the ghee to make sure it doesn’t burn.
He has a heavy rock playlist playing in the background—quietly so he doesn’t bother Tim or Ivy—and he’s dancing around the kitchen.
He’s happy and it’s a heady feeling that almost overwhelms him, even though these days he’s more happy than not. It’s such a change from his return to Gotham and he would rather die again than jeopardize any of it.
Later, Tim and Ivy will finish gardening and come invade the kitchen. Tim will draw Jason into a tight hug, hiding his face in Jason’s neck and Jason will know it’s because Tim has figured out why he stopped helping Ivy.
(Tim’s smart like that. Give him half a piece of evidence and he’ll know what happened in half an hour.)
Later, Tim will gorge himself on the kahk as Jason slaps him with a dish towel and chides him, telling him to bring some to Damian. Ivy will be observing them with a smile, drinking one of her strawberry smoothies. She will hug Jason when he leaves, tucking a wayward curl behind his ear and making him promise to come back soon. She will extend an offer for Tim to come back over and that’s when Jason knows that his little brother has gained Ivy’s approval.
But that is later and now, Jason is happy as he dances to Slipknot’s Duality, preparing cookies for the ones that he loves.
(talia & jason & damian)
Jason reaches down to adjust Damian’s hair. The Demon Brat had fidgeted the entire way over here and now his hair is a mess, resembling Jason’s wild curls. The only difference is that while Jason’s hair can’t be tamed, Damian’s can.
Talia has taught the two of them many things, most of them relating to killing and maiming but she has also taught them the importance of cultivating an image. Damian, with his spiked undercut, Louis Vuitton sweater, and designer overalls (everyone knows farmboy Jon got Damian into wearing overalls but he refuses to admit it), looks the part.
Jason, in an old leather jacket, ripped jeans, and scuffed combat boots is cultivating a very different image but he can at least make sure Damian looks the part of Bruce Wayne and Talia Head’s son.
Besides, the media has already deemed Jason Head, Bruce Wayne and Talia Head’s eldest son that choose to stay with her, a druggie disgrace that fell into the wrong crowds. It amuses Roy to no end that his cover story is basically Roy’s real background.
Jason always tells Roy to shut the fuck up before he ends up on the couch.
(Bruce had wanted to legally resurrect Jason Todd. The only problem was that Talia had already openly declared Jason her eldest son. Vicki Vale had solved the problem by running a piece about Talia legally adopting Jason when she was with Bruce and that their mother-son bond was so strong Jason Todd had chosen to become Jason Head when the couple eventually split.
Bruce, distraught over losing his son and the love of his life (by cheating on Talia with one Selina Kyle), declared Jason dead. Despite there being literally no evidence and an actual autopsy report for Jason Todd, the media ran with it. The druggie part pissed all of his parents off but other than Talia and Bruce suing every article they saw (which they did), there was really nothing to be done. Thanks, Vicki.)
Damian, predictably, swats Jason’s hand away and tries to bite it before attempting to fix his hair himself and muttering under his breath. He’s shooting baleful looks towards Jason the entire time and he has to bite back a smile lest Damian assumes he’s making fun of him.
That will only end in Jason being attacked and Talia has very firm opinions that her children will only fight at their father’s house.
Jason bruises himself by checking the text messages he received yesterday and then promptly ignored them due to the anxiety twisting in his stomach. Realistically, he knew that it was extremely unlikely to be bad news but he couldn’t bring himself to open them. Instead, he stared at the notification icon with a sinking feeling in his stomach until the screen clicked off and he could push it towards the back of his mind.
Kori has sent him two photos accompanied by a plethora of heart emojis. The first picture has Kori grinning widely into the camera, floating a few inches to be taller than Artemis. Artemis is staring off to the side, a slight smile on her lips that means she’s happy but doesn’t want others to know. Rose is squished between her two six-foot-tall, red-haired girlfriends, looking hilariously small and smirking, as pleased as the cat who got the canary.
It’s a nice photo and Jason saves it.
The next photo has Bizarro photobombing but he had to have misjudged the distance because everyone else in the process of falling over and partially out of frame. Jason laughs as he saves it and sends a few heart emojis back.
The four of them are at the Outlaws Island (trademark pending) and it’s nice to know they’re having fun.
Dana has demanded that Jason give her attention the next time he’s in Gotham. Numbers has also requested Jason’s presence but he at least phrases it more politely. Jason tells them both to show up at his place next Friday and tells Dana to bring burritos from that one food stand they all like.
He has nothing from Roy, which makes him frown a little but he and Eddie are in the middle of a mission in Thailand so Jason pushes his worry down. Ugh, he’s been on edge for a few days and Jason blames it on Roy not being there to spoon him when he wakes from a nightmare.
He could call any of his friends or even any of his siblings but anxiety is a bitch and so he just drinks tea and tries to forget the feeling of wrongness.
Kara wants to know if he can swing by her and Lena’s after dropping Damian off at Jon’s for a playdate.
(“It is not a playdate, Todd.”
“Oh, hey guys! Have fun on your playdate, Dami”
“Richard!” )
The good thing about their mother working for their pseudo uncle’s nemesis is that it makes it easier to set up things like this. Jason and Damian travel to Metropolis to see Talia, Jason drops Damian’s off at the Kents’ house in the suburbs and Tim picks the brat up when he travels to Metropolis to see his punk boyfriend.
It’s also easier for Jason to swing by his friends’ house after dropping Damian off.
Jason texts back a quick affirmative. Kara responds back within seconds with a smiley face emoji. Ew, Super promptness.
By the time Jason has responded to all his friends, the elevator has reached the penthouse that Talia favors. He’ll respond to his siblings later. (Not Dick though, he likes seeing Dick lose his mind over Jason leaving him on read. Tim helpfully sends videos.)
They don’t even have to knock because T’s penthouse is the entire floor and the elevator delivers them straight to her living room. Jason called it a security hazard once and Talia rebuffed that he had no room to talk since he willingly lived in the worst part of Gotham.
She had a point so Jason changed the subject, ignoring her pleased smile.
When they step out, Talia is there to greet them with a warm smile and a hug. She’s wearing mom jeans and a sweater and Jason mournes the fact that no one will believe him if he tells them that the three-hundred-year-old assassin daughter of the immortal assassin that started a cult that features minions with loyalty similar to boyband fans wears mom jeans.
“My boys” Talia has such a fond smile that Jason has to look away before he breaks out in hives. It’s widely known he’s allergic to feelings. When she draws Jason into her arms, he drops his head on her shoulder, breathing in the relaxing jasmine and tea scent he’s always associated with T.
“Come, I want to hear about everything I have missed.” She beckons, drawing them to her sprawling couch.
(Jason and Damian saw her last week so it’s not like she missed a lot but they humor her anyway.)
Jason can smell the spiced tea they all like brewing in the kitchen and there’s a huge bowl of layali lubnan that has four spoons sticking out of it. When Shiva steps out of the kitchen with the tea and curls up against Talia’s side, neither Damian nor Jason say anything like the good kids they are.
Jason just waggles his eyebrows which sends Damian into a fit of giggles that he doesn’t bother hiding. Talia just looks fondly resigned.
(nocturna & jason & duke)
It was extremely brief but Bruce had lost custody of Jason when he was Robin. Jason couldn’t remember why—the crowbar had knocked around quite a lot of his memories and then the Pit drew the bad ones to the forefront of his mind.
(Dick once tried to reminisce about the time the two of them supposedly had ice cream beside Jason’s favorite gargoyle, Francis, but Jason couldn’t remember, panicked and told him to fuck off.)
But the point is that Bruce lost custody and rather than put Jason back in Gotham’s stellar foster care system, one Natalia Knight stepped in to help. Jason couldn’t stand her at first and acted out at every turn but she was patient and willing to wait Jason’s fits out.
After one of Jason’s temper tantrums had ended, Natalia ordered Mexican (she absolutely could not cook) and explained why she choose to take Jason in.
(The funny part was that both Jason and Natalia were taken in by a rich man after stealing from them at the age of 12, both had plans for their rags-to-riches future yet both ended up being villains turned anti-heroes.)
After that, Jason stopped fighting with her all the time. He liked Natalia and when Bruce regained custody, he was torn. She found him crying when he was supposed to be packing up for Bruce to pick him up and she had kneeled down and told Jason that she wasn’t leaving him. Just because he lived with Bruce again didn’t mean that Jason couldn’t stop by or stay the night.
“Besides” she whispered, soft enough that Jason had to lean in, “Robin has to live with Batman, doesn’t he?” Jason had jerked back with wide eyes and started stuttering out denials but Natalia only laughed and kissed his forehead.
When Bruce knocked on the door, Natalia had asked him if Jason could still continue to visit. Bruce had readily agreed.
(Later, Jason tried to reassure Bruce that just because he wanted to continue seeing Natalia didn’t mean that he loved Bruce any less. Bruce had wrapped him in a crushing hug, telling him that he knew and it didn’t matter.)
The first time that Jason stayed over at Natalia’s, he had a nightmare and woke up crying. He found her on the balcony and crushed himself against her side, still crying softly.
“Nightingale?” She had questioned, dropping to her knees so she could look Jason in the eyes.
“I had a nightmare,” Jason confessed, eyes downcast and avoiding hers. She had hummed, tilted his chin up, and tapped his nose. His nose scrunched up and she had smiled, asking if he wanted to talk about it.
Jason told her about the hands holding him down and taking with a wobbly voice.
(Her hands had tightened and the next night several known pedophiles turned up dead. If Jason had a clearer mind, he might have connected the two but he didn’t and Nocturna continued to be Robin’s mother until she was jailed a month before his death. The combined betrayal of Natalia being Nocturna and Bruce believing him to be a murderer caused Jason to run away.)
After he finished talking and couldn’t go back to sleep, Natalia began to point out the stars and constellations to him. When it becomes obvious that Jason is too tired to watch where she’s pointing, she transitions into singing in a high, haunting voice. The lyrics are rather dark but Jason doesn’t mind and instead burrows closer into her side, closing his eyes.
Tili Tili Bom
Close your eyes quickly
Someone's walking by the window
And knocking at the door.
Tili Tili Bom
Can you hear the birds through the night?
He's already made his way into the house
For those who cannot sleep
Hear his steps
He's already
Close
Jason falls asleep then but Natalia continues to sing, finishing the lullaby and starting again in hopes that her son will sleep without any nightmares. After that night, Jason started to seek Natalia out when he had bad dreams.
That’s why during patrol one night when Duke complains about not being able to sleep due to his new vigilante lifestyle, Jason knows just the place to go. Duke is confused when Jason tells him to follow him and then veers off in a different direction from the manor but he follows him anyway. Duke’s nice like that.
Natalia is in her observatory when they show up. When Duke recognizes that Jason brought him to Nocturna’s house (A mansion, really. Far enough out of Gotham that she can see the stars unimpeded), he panics.
“Dude, what the hell?” He hisses, struggling against Jason’s hands, “I am not dumb enough to stroll into a villain’s house!”
“You said you couldn’t sleep right? She’ll help.”
“I wanted temporary sleep! Not eternal slumber! Fucks wrong with you?”
Jason breaks out into snickers, “I wouldn’t worry, it ended up not being eternal for me.”
Duke freezes, turns around to give Jason a blank stare, and then starts struggling anew. Eventually, Jason tosses Duke over his shoulder and walks into the house. Natalia eyes the highly-strung Signal over Jason’s shoulder but doesn’t say anything. She just gestures to the bed behind her.
The bed in question was placed there after Natalia caught on to how much Jason enjoyed falling asleep listening to her ramble about the stars and is placed under a skylight, letting the occupant stare into space as they drift off. It’s a bitch to wake up too, though. Natalia is kind enough to hit the switch that covers it when she knows he’s there and after he passed out.
Duke takes forever to calm down but after around the twenty-minute mark, he seems to have realized that Natalia isn’t going to hurt him. When Jason deems that Duke isn’t going to run for the hills, he makes for the kitchen.
Duke follows him and watches as Jason starts brewing some chamomile. “Is this one of your moms? Stephanie told me you had like thirty but I didn’t believe her.”
Jason scoffs, “It’s only seven. Eight, technically but fuck that bitch.”
Duke doesn’t have to ask who Jason is referring to. He’s read the files that Bruce updated after Jason finally explained what actually happened. Bruce actually ordered an exhumation and moved her away from his unoccupied grave after he learned, seething the entire time. Jason was oddly touched. Duke only echoes him, nodding his head. “Fuck that bitch”
It’s quiet for a few minutes and then, ”How does having villains for moms work when you’re trying to be a good guy?”
“Eh, we don’t talk much about work. T still lets me tag along when it’s Bring Your Kid to Work day at the Legion of Doom, though.”
Duke takes a moment to process that. “Not Damian?” He finally settles on, after several versions of ‘what the fuck?” run through his head.
“Damian would try to attack on sight. I can control myself.” Jason sniffs delicately.”Rose and Joey come with Slade sometimes and Conner came with Luthor once or twice.”
After that, Duke decides to change the subject. They’re discussing the book from their three-person book club (Duke, Jason, Barbara) while Jason finishes brewing the tea. Natalia has barely moved when they return back to the observatory and after they settle on the bed, she obligingly starts to describe the stories behind the constellations.
When Duke falls asleep, she comes over to run a hand through Jason’s hair and inquire about his day. They chat for a little while before Natalia leaves to either steal something or kill someone. Jason doesn’t ask and simply turns over, slinging an arm around Duke’s hip and falling asleep with his newest brother.
In the morning, Jason makes waffles and bacon. He has no clue how Steph knows (He suspects that she’s actually a meta but her only power is finding waffles.), but she swings by to steal some and assure Duke that ‘yes, this is normal.’ and ‘No, Bruce doesn’t mind when Jason spends time with his moms.’
Duke doesn’t feel comfortable going to Natalia’s by himself but every few weeks, he’ll ask Jason to go with him. Jason considers it a win.
(diana & jason & cass)
Widely known fact—Jason adores Wonder Woman. When he was Robin and at the Watchtower, he would follow Diana around with star-struck eyes. As an adult, he owns several pieces of Wonder Woman merch, including but not limited too: a crop top, a throw blanket, a mug, and a keychain.
(He would own all of his mothers’ merch but being a villain generally means that they don’t get any. Who knew?)
Lesser known fact—Diana loves him right back. She taught him Ancient Greek when he was a kid and would spend afternoons with him either quietly reading or hiking around the world. He’s seen the video of Diana trying to kill the Joker, only to be stopped by Superman.
(All of Jason’s mothers have attempted to kill the Joker at least and all have been thwarted. The Joker is currently “in hiding” right now and huh, it’s funny that the timing lines up with when Jason told Artemis that the Joker killed him. Weird coincidence.)
Most heroes tend to forget that Diana loved Jason back. After Bruce twisted his image into the fallen-from-grace, angry Robin, it was believed that Diana bonded with the first Robin—the sweet as sugar, can-do-no-wrong, Dickie.
Most villains remembered—after Diana was denied access to his funeral due to attempting to kill the Joker, she had pulled a Batman and poured her grief into her fists.
Jason had the pleasure to witness Diana socking Bruce in the jaw when she discovered that Bruce had neglected to tell her of his resurrection.
(Because he’s a good son and because he loves his father, Jason gave Bruce an icepack to soothe the ache. After he finished laughing. He’s not that good of a son, after all.)
It was also Diana that brought Bruce to terms with Jason killing criminals. Without the Pit Madness, Jason’s fallen back on Diana’s rules. If he can avoid it, he won’t kill but it’s always an option.
Diana and Jason still spend afternoons reading and hiking, only now they hike more extreme trails since Jason is stronger and no longer suffering from childhood malnutrition. Diana also teaches Jason how to cook traditional Greek cuisine. They’ve started with desserts since Diana has a horrible sweet tooth and Jason is entirely too fond of baklava.
There’s a lot of things that Jason could do when he notices Cass is feeling down. He could bully Dick into learning a dance with her or he could track down one of Damian’s pets for her to cuddle with. He could subject himself to cuddles or force all of his family into one big cuddle pile.
He has options is what he’s saying. Instead, he pauses and thinks about his siblings attaching themselves to his moms. He has a couple of moms left and two more siblings and he thinks that Cass and Diana will love each other.
That’s what he’s thinking about as he crouches down beside Cass’s pile of pillows. She’s wearing a hoodie that he recognizes as his own but he magnanimously chooses to ignore it.
(No matter how many hoodies that Jason buys, they all end up in his siblings’ or friends’ closets. Jason doesn’t actually mind—he prefers Roy’s anyway.)
“Wanna go to Themyscira and spar with some Amazons?”
Cass drags her fathomless eyes up to meet his from her puddle of sadness. Her nose scrunches up in confusion.
“Only women?”
Jason nods, “Yeah, that’s true. I’m special, though.”
It’s true. Due to being Diana’s son, he’s currently the only male allowed on the island. Some of the Amazons don’t like it but they know better than to argue with Queen Hippolyta, who decided Jason would be allowed.
Cass considers it for several long moments before slightly nodding. Jason grins and uses his strength to yank her up hard enough that her feet leave the ground. Her giggle makes it worth it.
Jason gets Kara to fly them over, only after she wrangles a promise for Jason to cook for her.
When they arrive, they’re pointed to the training grounds when Jason inquires about Diana’s whereabouts. Cass is observing the island of warriors with wide-eye fascination and she hums a few times when she sees something particularly exciting, tugging on Jason’s sleeve and pointing them out to him.
Jason’s seen it all before but he doesn’t care, not when Cass is starting to smile.
Diana is in the midst of sparring with another Amazon so Jason and Cass lean against the banister to watch. Jason is cheering his mother on as Cass watches silently. It doesn’t take Diana long to beat the other Amazon but he suspects that she starts to show off when she notices him watching.
Afterward, both of them head over to where Jason and Cass are and Jason recognizes the other Amazon as the newest Wonder Girl, Yara Flor.
(The previous Wonder Girl had chosen to change names when Tim’s Super Boy decided to give the mantle to Damian’s Kent. The two of them became Arche and Supernova, respectively. Jason only knew because Tim wouldn’t shut his trap about it.)
Diana wraps Jason up in her arms and twirls him a few times, laughing merrily before she turns to Cass.
“You are Bruce’s only daughter, yes?” Cass nods and Diana beams, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Cassandra.”
Cass observes Diana for a few seconds before shyly smiling up at her. Jason can pinpoint the moment that Diana melts. He knew they would love each other. It’s like putting two puppies in the same room, even including the fact that these are some of the strongest people that Jason knows.
Cass points at the vacated training circle, tilting her head. “Spar?” She asks, a hopeful tone to her voice.
“Of course, little warrior.” She scans her eyes over the assembled Amazons in the training field, landing on one. “Nubia! Would you continue instructing Yara as I spar with Cassandra?”
In a few moments, Jason is left alone to watch Cass and Diana spar. He mourns the fact that he didn’t bring a book before a hard punch to his shoulder brings him out of his head. He turns to see a grinning Donna Troy behind him.
“C’mon, Wonder Boy. Spar with me.” She jerks her head at an empty circle. “Bet I can still kick your ass.”
“Probably,” he readily agrees, “But let’s find out anyway.”
(selina & jason & dick)
It ends weirdly similar to how it began, with a costumed vigilante swinging in a window. This time, Jason is laying across Roy’s chest after a fantastic bout of reunion sex. Roy is tracing idle designs in his back as they watch Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.
(It’s Jason’s favorite guilty pleasure film but he would never admit it to any of his siblings.)
Dick ruins the peaceful mood by barreling in his window. Jason’s just grateful that he and Roy put on pants. Dick, acrobatic drama queen he is, lands and immediately launches into a cartwheel to land on Jason’s coffee table. Roy snorts while Jason judges in silence.
Dick pulls a face when he lands and takes in their undressed state.
“C’mon guys, really?”
Jason pulls a face back. “It’s your fault you showed up on the day that Roy came back. I explicitly told everyone he was and not to bother me yesterday, Dickie.” Jason feels Roy’s chest rumble in laughter underneath him.
“Yeah, buddy, I think this one’s on you.”
“Jason, you tell us to not bother you all the time,” he throws his hands up in exasperation, “How do I know if you’re being serious or not?”
Before Jason can even draw in a breath to rebut him, Dick is barreling on. “Nevermind that!”, he claps his hand together. Sometimes Jason thinks that Dick forgets he’s not in the circus anymore. (Although, one could argue their family was a circus. Jason would argue for them to shut the fuck up) “Do you really hate me that much, brother?”
Jason pauses, reviews everything he’s done recently that could make Dick think that, and comes up blank. “...No?” he ventures cautiously.
“Then why haven’t I been assigned one of your moms? I know you have more.”
Jason groans and thinks about his schedule. He’s going to a cat cafe with Selina tomorrow and she and Dick both have a penchant for skintight clothes and flirting. “Fine. Show up tomorrow around one. I’m not going anywhere today.”
“Sure, Little Wing. I love you!” Jason endures the kiss smacked on his cheek with minimal glaring. Dick turns to leave and in doing so, catches sight of the movie playing on the T.V.
“Ha!” He crows in victory, “I told Tim that you liked this movie!”
Jason throws the remote at him.
The next afternoon, Jason is regretting inviting Dick along. He’s too upbeat and Jason is too tired to even look at the energized dumbass beside him. A mixture of patrol and Roy had kept Jason awake longer than he meant to be.
Dick probably knows, based on how his eyes zeroed in on the massive hickey high on his neck Jason hadn’t bothered to hide.
Selina is already at the cafe when they arrive, with at least five cats milling around her demanding attention. She doesn’t question Dick tagging along, only gesturing to the chairs beside her. Harley or Ivy probably warned her.
As Jason sits, his favorite cat strolls up to splay in his lap. He tunes out Selina’s and Dick’s chattering, instead focusing on rubbing Peaches’ ears until the tiny cream and orange ball of fluff is purring loudly.
She meows, looking up at Jason with her big green eyes, and kneads his chest, butting her head against his chin insistently.
Jason registers that the rest of the table has fallen quiet and looks up to see Selina smiling fondly and Dick recording with his phone. If Jason could reach Dick without moving Peaches, he would swipe the phone from him but he can’t, so he settles for glowering at Goldie.
Dick snorts, “You look like a Disney villain.”
Jason glares harder.
“I am so sending this to the family group chat.”
“You better not, Dickhead.”
(He does. Damian paints the scene on a huge canvas, in oil paint so it looks like a Renaissance painting. Bruce is so proud that he displays it in the main hall, right beside the family portrait. Talia commissions a copy.
Jason will try to remove it several times but is thwarted each time by either his siblings, Alfred or Bruce.
Afterward, Damian will paint all of his siblings in oil. Bruce is so proud of every single one that he throws a gala at the Manor whenever Damian finishes another.)
(bonus! ducra & jason & barbara)
Barbie is the other person in the family that straddles the weird line of either sibling or siblings’s significant other. She and Dick dance around each other so much that the rest of the family gets dizzy trying to keep up with them.
She wasn’t always kind to Jason but to be fair, Jason was awful to her first.
(That didn’t change the fact that Barbara should have never slapped a child but it’s too late to argue over that. It literally happened a lifetime ago.)
After they had gotten over their issues with one another, they were pretty close. Barbara tutored him so he wouldn’t be placed a couple of grades behind his age group. Jason spent many afternoons reading in the library that Barbara worked at.
When Jason came back and discovered that Barbie was in a wheelchair due to the goddamn fucking Joker, he had gone ballistic.
All that aside, he’s been thinking about the thing that Dick said the other day. Of how Jason is pairing up his moms and siblings. He doesn’t know if Barbie counts. (He loves her like a sister but he doesn’t want to call her one in case she and Dick finally get together and he’s left explaining that yes, that is his brother and sister, yes they are dating, no it’s not incest. So she’s just Barbie, just like Steph is just Steph.)
(Both of them have a purple heart emoji beside their name in his contacts)
Even if she doesn’t count, he paired up Steph and Harley. He thinks that Barbara would have liked Ducra.
It’s been a year already and Jason stills misses her fiercely.
She and Babs had a lot in common. Both are sharp-witted, fast to point out his flaws, and soft in their actions. Ducra thought teaching Jason would be a mistake, had told him so the first time they met, and yet they had gone on to forge a lasting bond.
Just like Barbara and Jason.
Jason’s worried that Babs might feel left out so he stops by the Clocktower after patrol one day and tries to explain. Barbara laughs at him.
“I’m not offended, Jason. I don’t have any destabilizing parent issues like the rest of you,” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ears and smiles up at him, “But I wouldn’t mind if you told me about her.”
And so Jason does.