Chapter Text
Something’s wrong with Daniel. Something’s wrong with Daniel, and no – it’s not the fact that he has telekinesis.
At first, Sean doesn’t even notice, but Daniel becomes clingier. He always hangs around Sean and wants his attention. He also becomes more affectionate, snuggling up to him as soon as they’re sitting or lying. Sometimes he even takes Sean’s hand when they’re walking. He gets anxious as soon as Sean leaves, he gets pouty when Sean pays attention to someone other than him, or asks for space.
At first, Sean thinks it’s normal. He’s all his little brother has left. Daniel’s traumatized and needs him. Sean’s traumatized and needs him too. He’s all he has left too, after all.
***
He begins to really notice something’s wrong when they’re in California, working on the pot farm. They’re around people of their age for the first time since Seattle. Or well, Sean’s age. They both start hanging out with other people, start doing their own thing. And Sean’s thankful to finally have some time for himself again. To have people to talk to besides his little brother. People to hang out and have a beer with, occasionally join for a smoke. He feels safe and carefree for the first time in months, and it never occurs to him that Daniel might not be feeling the same way. Daniel hangs out with Finn all the time, and while Sean keeps an eye on them, he trusts Finn to take care of his little brother. Not having the younger one attached at his hip 24/7 also gives him the possibility to chill with Cassidy, who he really likes. Daniel, on the other hand, can’t stand her at all for some reason. The more time they spend apart, the more Daniel develops an attitude. He seems to welcome every occasion to stir up shit with Sean. He avoids him, provokes him, mocks him. And at some point, Sean’s really had it.
“Dude, what the hell is your problem?”, he asks one night after he’s had to forcefully drag Daniel back to their tent to sleep. “I’m sick and tired of your shit.” His little brother simply glares at him and turns away, starting to change for the night. Sean stares at the back of his head. There’s a stinging pain in his chest. It’s true he’s wanted some time for himself, but this is all wrong. They’re the wolf brothers. They’re all they’ve left. They’re not supposed to be fighting like this. “Enano… come on, man. Talk to me…”, he quietly begs. He shifts closer to the smaller boy still turned away from him and gently wraps an arm around him from behind. He half expects his brother to push him away, but is positively surprised when he doesn’t, despite tensing up for a moment. Carefully, he pulls the younger Diaz a little more against himself. He rubs Daniel’s bony shoulder. “Are you angry with me?”, he softly asks. It’s silent for a moment.
“… you’re always with her!”, Daniel replies after a while. Her? Cassidy, Sean assumes. Daniel starts to turn around in Sean’s arms and Sean loosens the embrace to let him. Big chocolate eyes look up into his own. They’re angry, hurt. Jealous.
“You’re always with Finn too, dude”, Sean points out. “It’s okay to hang around other people and try to fit in while we’re here.”
Daniel shakes his head and his small hands take a hold of Sean’s shirt. “No, you’re always, ALWAYS with her! You never pay attention to me anymore. You don’t even care about me anymore. At least, Finn does…”
Sean sighs, exasperated. “Are you fucking serious?”, he asks, but quickly changes his attitude once Daniel starts to push him away. His arms become a little more restraining around his brother, keeping him from moving away from him. “Daniel- little cub, listen to me. That’s fucking bullshit and you know it. There’s nothing in this world I care as much about as you. You’re my brother.” His hands become gentler once Daniel stops struggling. He takes Daniel’s face in his hands, lets his fingers glide back and through his hair. Then he leans down to bring their heads together. “I’m sorry I made you feel this way. You know you’re the most important thing to me. Everyone here knows you’re my priority… it’s just another couple of weeks until we have enough money to go to Puerto Lobos… okay?”
Daniel wraps his thin arms around Sean’s waist, his hands clinging to his back. There are tears in his eyes and Sean starts to seriously worry. “No…”, the younger Diaz quietly replies, his voice shaky. “It’s not okay, Sean…”
Sean moves slightly away to have a better look at Daniel’s tear-streaked face, his heart beating a little faster. He gently wipes the tears off the younger one’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Enano, did… did something happen? What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong…”
Daniel buries his face in Sean’s chest and Sean closes his arms firmly around him, strokes up and down his shaking back. “I just wish you wouldn’t hang out so much with Cassidy, that’s all…”, Daniel sobs.
Sean’s hand on Daniel’s back stills. “Dude, is this still about her? Why do you hate her so much? She’s always super nice to you…”, he replies, not understanding.
A short pause follows, filled by Daniel’s quiet sniffles. “I don’t want her to take you away from me… I don’t want you to leave me…”, comes the muffled explanation.
Sean’s heart aches. “Nobody’s ever gonna take me away from you and I’ll never leave you. Never. You hear me? Now stop saying these things. Where’s this all coming from in the first place? You should know better than this”, he reassures, his fingers gently carding through dark brown locks, over and over.
“But you really like her, don’t you?”, Daniel insists. Sean’s pretty sure he’s never behaved this way before.
“Well, yeah, but not as much as you. I love you, you’re my little cub after all.” Sean has the feeling Daniel really needs to hear this right now. “We’re family. There’s nothing I’d put before you. Ever. I promise…”
These words seem to finally reach his little brother, who slowly looks up at him. Sean smiles and leans down to place a small kiss on Daniel’s forehead, whose eyelashes flutter. He slowly offers a smile back. “Okay… you promised.” He leans in to snuggle up against Sean a little bit more.
“Yeah, man. Now let’s lie down, come on.” Slowly they separate, but only for a short moment. Sean lies down and Daniel’s attached to his side a second later. Sean sighs, but actually feels relief at having his clingy little brother back. He wraps an arm around the smaller boy and turns slightly to him.
“I love you too, Sean…”, he hears a faint whisper, as he’s drifting off to sleep. “She can’t have you, because you’re mine.” Sean sleepily rubs Daniel’s shoulder. “Yeah, okay, buddy…”, he replies, unconcerned.
***
He only realizes how serious Daniel is, when his little brother proves he’s willing to hurt other people to keep them away from him.
The younger Diaz fucks up. He fucks up hard. No payday for the entire crew and they’re fired. It’s fucking bullshit, it’s fucking unfair. Admittedly, Sean’s angry. Maybe that’s what makes him conveniently forget, or maybe more like very consciously ignore the talk he’s had with his brother days ago. He drinks, he smokes. He lets Cassidy tattoo a wolf on his arm, he follows her to the lake. He doesn’t pay attention to his little brother, and neither to Finn, who seems to be sulking a little after Sean vehemently refused his plan to break into Merill’s place using Daniel’s power. No fucking way was he gonna put Daniel in danger, no matter how much the little one screwed up. It’s nice to forget about everything and act like a normal teenager for a while, as he gets closer to Cassidy. She’s fun, she’s nice. She’s pretty. And Sean really likes her. Likes her a lot. Not as much as Daniel, but it’s not comparable in the first place, is it? They kiss and it’s beautiful. He follows her to her tent. It’s his first time and it sucks… but he’s glad his first time was with her. She’s understanding.
Then suddenly, everything goes to shit. Daniel’s missing. Finn’s missing. It’s not hard to do the math. They find them before it’s too late. Sean has to hold back not to punch Finn right then and there. He grabs Daniel’s hand: “Come on, Daniel – we’re leaving!”
Daniel tears himself free. He seems furious. “No! Let go! I’m not coming with you! I’m staying with Finn and we’re getting the money!”
Sean grabs his hand again, starts to pull him away. “No, fucking way in hell, du-“ he doesn’t even get to finish the sentence, as he’s pushed back by a burst of telekinetic energy. He looks at Daniel surprised.
“Daniel, come on, listen to your brother – it’s too dangerous!”, tries Cassidy as well. She shouldn’t have. Sean’s surprise turns to shock, as Cassidy is lifted in the air.
“Shut the fuck up! Shut the fuck up! This is all your fault in the first place! Sean, promised- “ – he glares at Sean- “you promised, Sean! But you’re a fucking liar!”
Sean’s heart is pounding so fast, he can hear the blood rushing in his ears. “Daniel, stop! What the fuck, let her go! Have you gone crazy?!” He tries to lower Daniel’s raised arm, as if that could prevent him from using his power. Instead Daniel just lashes out, throwing Cassidy a couple feet back. Sean runs to her side, checks up on her. This might be the first time, since he found out about Daniel’s powers, he’s legit afraid of him. But Daniel’s gone already. And in a matter of minutes, Sean loses everything: His eye, his friends, his freedom. And his brother.
***
He tries not to cry. Crying kinda worsens the pain in his eye. Or well. What’s left of it. He doesn’t have the eye anymore after all. He draws, but he can’t quite do it the same way as before. He can’t see well, he lacks depth perception. Focusing for too long causes a massive headache. He spends hours lying quietly in the hospital bed, staring out the window. He thinks of Daniel. Hopes he’s okay. Wonders where he is. Wishes he could go back. Make different choices.
He goes through so much shit. Climbs out the hospital window, nearly falls down. Hotwires a car, drives day and night despite his eye and head killing him. Gets beaten up by a fucking racist. Walks for hours under the cooking sun of Nevada – gets terrible sunburn. He does it all for Daniel. And when he finally finds him in Haven Point, he’s rejected. Sean thought nothing could hurt more than the pain of losing his dad. But when Daniel refuses to come with him, it feels like his heart is being shredded to pieces and stomped on. He doesn’t know what he would’ve done if his mother wasn’t there. Maybe he would’ve given up then. What was the point of living, if Daniel doesn’t wanna be with him anymore? He’s all he has left. He needs him. But it seems Daniel doesn’t need him anymore.
It’s not easy being around his mother again, but he tries to reconcile. She’s the only one that can help him get Daniel back. At first, he’s angry at Jacob, but he forgives him quickly. Him taking Daniel was probably for the best, even though his little brother now refuses to come back to him. But at least there’s still a chance to get him back. If Daniel was safe at his grandparents’, what reason would’ve Sean had to break out of the hospital? He’d gone to juvie. They’d never make it to Puerto Lobos together. No matter how hurt he is, he knows he needs to convince Daniel. They’re all they’ve left. They need each other. They’re the wolf brothers and they belong together.
***
They break into Lisbeth Fischer's house. It’s painful to go through Daniel’s things. He packs the ones he assumes Daniel will want back once he’s with him again. Dad’s blanket. The racoon hoodie he loves so much. He finds some notes Lisbeth has taken on Daniel. Why’d Daniel tell her so much? He told her all about Seattle, about the gas station, the pot farm. Sean’s breath gets stuck in his throat, his heart starts pounding like hell. It’s like the world around him stops turning for a moment, as his eyes incredulously flit over the same word sequence over and over again:
Has a “crush” on his brother. Took weeks of coaxing to make him confess. Seems to be aware it’s not normal: feels guilt and shame. Probably just a consequence of massive trauma. Didn’t tell his brother. Probably one-sided.
Sean’s hands shake.
“Sean… are you okay?”, Jacob asks him. “We should hurry…”
Sean looks up at him. “… y-yeah… sorry…”, he chokes out. He takes the notes with him.
***
Everything starts to make sense. He doesn’t have the time to process it. Not right then. Right then they need to get Daniel and Sarah-Lee and get the fuck out of there. But it all makes sense. Daniel’s excessive clinginess. His attention seeking. The cuddliness, the lingering gazes and touches. The way he behaved back in California. The jealousy. The possessiveness. Fuck… fuck. How’d this happen? Did Sean fuck up? Did he fuck up his own little brother?
“I can’t come back, Sean... And... and I don’t want to.”, Daniel tells him with tears in his eyes. Even that makes more sense now. But Sean makes him. He won’t leave without Daniel. He gets beaten into a bloody mess by Lisbeth's guard dog, Nicholas Durand. Can barely get up anymore. But he keeps doing it. For Daniel. He’s not leaving without Daniel. And when a gun is pointed at his head he realizes: he means it. If Daniel’s not coming with him, he might as well die here. Because he doesn’t have a reason left to live.
Daniel finally snaps. Attacks Durand. It's like having a part of himself returned to him, when Sean feels the younger one’s arms around him. He breathes in and out. Everything hurts. He’s relieved to the core. Gently closes his own arms around Daniel, hugs him. Smiles. “Sean… I’m so sorry, Sean…”, Daniel cries. Sean just hugs him tighter, even though it hurts his abused ribs.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, enano. It’s not your fault.”
They try to leave. Daniel supports him, even though he’s so much shorter than Sean, that the latter has to lean down to lean on him. He’s so dazed with pain and relief, he doesn’t even react when Daniel kills Lisbeth to get her out of the way. Later, he’ll think so much about it among other things, that he won’t be able to fall asleep. “It… it was her or us…”, he tries to rationalize when his mother expresses her shock. He lets himself be led back to the car. He’s missing an eye. He got beaten up twice in less than two days. He has terrible sunburn. Everything fucking hurts. He feels Daniel’s thin arms hug him from behind. Tiredly he reaches up, encloses his hand around his brother’s smaller one.
He’d endure all of it and more all over again for Daniel.
***
Something’s wrong with Daniel, but Sean doesn’t care. Maybe something’s wrong with him too.
It takes some time for Sean to heal properly and it takes some time for Daniel to return to his old self. At first he’s almost shy, skittish. It’s obvious he feels guilty. Sometimes he can barely look Sean in the eyes- eye. He tries to remedy in every way. Never argues back. Does everything he’s asked and more. He’s always making sure that Sean’s comfortable and isn’t in any pain. He draws him pictures. He gives him the last Choc-o-crisp. It’s cute, but unnecessary. Sean’s not angry. He’s just relieved they’re back together.
Slowly, Daniel seems to get it. Sean didn’t think it was possible, but his little brother becomes even clingier. He never leaves Sean’s side and when he does, he always has his walkie-talkie on him, feeling the need to only be a button away from talking to his big brother. He sleeps on Sean’s shoulder or chest, his thin arms wrapped around him. He plays with Sean’s hand, compares how much bigger it is to his own. Carefully entwines their fingers. He pulls Sean’s arm around himself when they’re sitting side-by-side.
Sometimes Sean thinks about Lisbeth’s notes. He burned them and buried the remains in the sand a while ago. It doesn’t matter, does it? Daniel’s only a kid – a kid who’s gone through way too much shit for his age.
***
Things slowly return to normalcy. They feel safe with their mother in Away. It’s a quiet place. Nobody cares who they are and what they’ve done here. It’s exactly what they need to recover. It’s their last stop before Mexico. Afterwards there’s no turning back. Sean’s aware of it, and slowly but surely, Daniel seems to be too. He doesn’t complain about it or argue against it anymore like he used to in the beginning. Instead he pesters Sean with questions.
“Sean… where will we live in Puerto Lobos?”
Sean smiles. His arm is wrapped around his little brother, his hand petting his hair. Over and over, as they look up at the stars from their elevated position in the canyon. Daniel’s hand is on his chest and every now and then, his thumb rubs back and forth. It’s soothing. “Well, dad used to have a house on the beach there… we can move in there.”
Daniel looks up at him, his head still resting on Sean’s shoulder. “Woah, really? That’s so cool! Can we take baths in the sea every day then?”
Sean laughs. “Yeah, man. All the baths we want.” He looks at his brother, tenderness in his gaze. Leans down to softly kiss his brow.
Daniel beams, slips his arm around Sean’s neck. Nuzzles the side of Sean’s head and stays with his face buried there. “… do you think it’s gonna be trashed?”, he quietly asks, directly in Sean’s ear.
Sean’s hand caresses Daniel’s back. “Yeah… yeah, probably”, he replies. He sighs. It won’t be easy even once they’ve reached Puerto Lobos. But at least they’ll have a home… they’ll be free. And together. “But we’ll figure it out… it’ll be just like… just like Minecraft. We’ll clean up the place and build it again. I’ll work really hard the way we have enough money… you’ll go back to school, make friends… it’s gonna be okay.”
Daniel’s fingers gently curl around Sean’s hair in the back of his neck. It had grown again, enough to make it possible to get a grip on it. Daniel likes it better like this, he’d told Sean only the day before. “But what if they don’t like me there?”, his little brother asks. Daniel sighs, worried, and slips a skinny leg over Sean’s.
Sean closes his second arm around him, lets his hand rest on dark brown hair. “Dude, they’ll love you. No matter where we go, you always fit in. Don’t worry about it”, he assures.
Daniel’s still not convinced. He pushes himself up on his free arm to look at Sean. Sean returns the gaze. “But I can’t even speak Spanish. How am I supposed to go to school and make friends?”
Sean brushes the hair out of Daniel’s face. “I’ll teach you. You’ll learn in no time, especially once you start to hear it every day. You already understand it, it won’t take long until you can speak it as well.”
Daniel seems to think for a while. He smiles. “Okay, I guess. It’ll be pretty cool to see where dad used to live.” He settles down fully against Sean again. Sean pulls the blanket higher up their bodies. “… thank you, Sean… I’m glad, you’re with me…” Daniel places a small, shy kiss on Sean’s cheek, which makes Sean’s heart flutter, before whispering: “I love you…”
Sean smiles, his eye full of warmth and tenderness. “I love you too, enano. I’m glad you’re with me too.”
***
They make it through the border. Barely.
He feels a little numb when Daniel gets back in the car and they slowly drive past rubble, car wrecks and… bodies. His little brother did this. His little brother basically fucking massacred an entire S.W.A.T. team single-handedly and Sean doesn’t even care. On the contrary, he’s thankful they made it. They made it to Mexico. All the journey… all these months. The shit they went through… it wasn’t for nothing. He reaches over and even without looking, immediately finds Daniel’s small hand. It’s a little cold and sweaty. He gently rubs it with his thumb and holds it for the entire next hour, as they drive in complete silence. Daniel falls asleep, exhausted from the extent he’d overused his powers. Even in his sleep, he holds on to his big brother’s hand.