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Their friendship was stronger than it had ever been but it was also so, so, so different to what it once was for Kara.
They were open and honest about their day, their fears, their hopes… everything. And with all that came vulnerability, laying yourself bare and exposed.
For Lena, things were probably no different to the last time, she had always been open, had never hidden away parts of herself from Kara Danvers, had been honest about her relationship with Lex and all the positives and negatives that came with that.
But for Kara this was an entirely new experience.
Previously, Kara had kept her walls up and had hidden her defences behind lies and subterfuge. She would empathise with Lena but never reveal shared experiences, would keep her loss and pain close to the chest, would allude but never directly explain. Now, Kara was Kara Zor-El with Lena. There were no shadows to hide in, nor half-formed lies and rushed excuses to duck behind. She was no longer keeping a part of herself hidden away and protected.
When they re-started their friendship it came with the understanding that there would be no more lies or secrets between them. That for their friendship to work it had to be built on honesty at its most fundamental level.
With that agreement in place, over the course of their first few interactions, Kara came to a realisation that broke her.
It was the realisation that this (honesty and openness) was easier for Lena to do than it was for Kara. It was the realisation that Kara didn’t know how to have a relationship without some kind of secret to hide behind; even with Alex there were no-go topics and parts of themselves neither wanted to share. It was the realisation that Lena had time and time again, prior to the reveal, put herself out there thinking Kara was stood by her side, equally exposed and vulnerable.
With that realisation came a whole swathe of emotions.
Guilt.
Shame.
Pain.
Confusion.
But there also came a commitment.
A commitment to meet Lena halfway. To let herself be truly vulnerable with another person. Not just for Lena but for herself.
With that commitment came a strong friendship. A real one. More real than any Kara had ever had before.
Kara no longer filtered her thoughts to hide parts of herself. She spoke her mind and that… that was where the trouble really started.
For a number of reasons.
“Rao, you look beautiful.”
“Your mind is incredible.”
“You’re so graceful and elegant.”
“Lena, you’re just… fantastic, have I told you that recently?”
“I adore your eyes.”
All of those were said in a single day. Scratch that, a two hour period. Games Night to be exact.
Kara hadn’t even known she was doing it, let alone that frequently, until Nia had jumped into the air shouting “Bingo” after Kara had complimented Lena’s hair. Turns out the Superfriends (Kara was thinking of retracting that title) had started a ‘Compliment Bingo’ that they had been playing in secret for the last three months to capitalise on Kara’s tendency to sing Lena’s praises (literally singing Lena’s praises was on Alex and Brainy’s bingo charts and had won them the game at least twice). Nia and Alex had confessed all of this to Kara rather sheepishly after Lena had been pulled back to L-Corp to handle a business crisis following Nia’s ‘bingo’ exclamation.
Bingo-gate probably should have put an end to the compliments but by that point Kara had become somewhat addicted to the pink blush that would dust Lena’s lovely cheeks whenever Kara blurted out a compliment without thinking (having put her filter aside at the restart of their friendship).
See, the thing is… the big realisation at the restart of their friendship wasn’t just about Kara’s sudden self reflection nor her guilt for the earlier handling of her friendship with Lena. They were big parts, huge even, but they weren’t everything. And they weren’t the part that was plaguing Kara now, six months later.
The big realisation, the actual one that had come with having Lena in her life in a full and complete way after being deprived for so long, after thinking that she might never have her back again, never hold her hand, never hug her was…
Love.
Kara loved her.
The big kind of love.
The love Alex had been telling her about over the course of countless sister nights when it came to Maggie and now to Kelly.
The kind of love that meant every time you looked at them you saw something that was just so perfect and wonderful that you can barely keep the words of adoration back (not that Kara even tried to anymore). The kind of love that meant you wanted them safe and cared for.
And despite six months of carefully reconstructed friendship. Six months of coming to grips with the big realisation. Six months of being vulnerable with Lena. Six months of her eyes being open to a new reality where she was in love with her best friend.
Six life-changing months and it never even crossed her mind that Lena could feel the same way about her.
That was until today...
Today, Kara was going food shopping and, since she was also getting snacks for games night later that evening, Lena had offered to come along and help.
It was something that had become standard between them now. Keeping each other company for random chores and daily life excursions. Kara accompanied Lena to the gym to provide the CEO with light conversation and motivation despite not receiving any tangible benefit from the activity (though Kara found the sight of Lena, with a light sheen of sweat, stretching after a workout was a reward beyond anything she could have imagined). Lena, meanwhile, helped Kara with her taxes and happily kept Kara company when she had to sort out her laundry.
Kara had never had a friendship like this before. All of her other friendships (not including Alex) had required that there was some form of entertainment to go alongside every interaction. With Lena, there was no longer that pressure there. Lena would happily work away on her laptop whilst Kara edited her recent article without complaint, in fact, the raven-haired woman seemed to likewise appreciate how at ease they both felt when silent.
Therefore, when Lena offered to come food-shopping with her, Kara didn’t think twice about saying yes.
Kara worried her bottom lip as she looked between the two loaves of bread. One was freshly baked and still slightly warm to the touch. The other was store-branded, squashed on one side and far less appetising but it was a dollar cheaper. Kara let out a regretful sigh, as she put back the warm new loaf and grabbed two of the cheaper variety. Kara headed back to the trolley, tossing in her latest picks before dropping her gaze to scrutinise her scribbled list of items.
“Why didn’t you buy the other one?” Lena asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.
“Hmm…” Kara hummed, glancing over at the raven haired woman who had an unreadable expression on her face.
“The other loaf of bread.”
“This one’s cheaper.” Kara replied gesturing to the squashed loaves in the trolley.
“Why not get both?” Lena prompted.
“I don’t need both.”
“You may not need that particular loaf but you definitely need more than two.” Lena asserted, moving forward to lean against the side of Kara’s trolley, bringing her into Kara’s space.
Kara barely held back the ‘Rao, your eyes are the purest green’ that flitted through her mind as she struggled to stay focused on the rather bizarre conversation she was having right now. “I only ever buy two.” Kara pointed out.
“Yes but you need more.” Lena insisted, her gaze narrowing.
“I do?” Kara said dumbly, uncertain where Lena’s intensity was coming from.
“Yes!” Lena declared, “With the number of calories you burn through due to your ‘extra-curricular’ activities, you require a far more substantive intake that what you are currently acquiring for yourself.”
“Huh?” Kara blinked, she had definitely been listening but her attention had been only half on what Lena was saying; the other half had been on the way Lena’s long, delicate fingers twisted around the wired bars of the trolley so elegantly.
“Kara…” Lena sighed, her green eyes going soft and melancholic in that particular way that always made Kara’s heart flutter and twist in her chest as if it wanted to reach out itself to soothe the other woman. “The amount of food you have in your trolley and how much you intend to buy are nowhere near enough to cover your daily requirements. If my calculations are correct, you need to be buying out the entire store every other week.”
Kara’s face reddened with embarrassment at the far too accurate assessment causing her to rub the back of her neck nervously.
It was the fact that they had promised to be honest with one another in tandem with the destruction of Kara’s filter when it came to Lena, that resulted in the following words coming out of the blonde’s mouth so easily, “Shockingly enough, not everyone can buy an entire store.”
Kara hadn’t said it to be cruel or to disparage Lena’s own wealthy status. It wasn’t about that.
It was simply an honest statement.
One which revealed far more about Kara’s financial woes than she had ever let anyone find out. Not even Alex knew how Kara struggled to afford the food costs that came with being Supergirl. Alex had never joined the dots that Kara’s increased power usage would require an increased calorie count.
One which Kara frequently struggled to afford.
Lena, however, had already made the connection if the unsurprised look on her face at Kara’s response was anything to go by.
“What would it take for you to let me pay for it?” Lena questioned cutting right to the chase.
Kara was suddenly struck with the clarity that this was why Lena had requested to come with her to the supermarket in the first place.
“No, Lena, you can’t.” Kara rejected without even bothering to consider it as an option.
“Why not?” Lena tilted her head to the side expectantly, obviously wanting a clear cut reason, “Is it pride?”
“You’re my friend.” Kara reasoned futilely.
“Your friend, who wants to help.” Lena pointed out.
“It’s too much.” Kara tried instead.
“It’s food, Kara.” Lena said simply, “It’s a basic necessity that is never too much.” Lena reached out and placed a hand atop of Kara’s one that was tightly gripping her list of food that she could afford. Lena’s touch was gentle and grounding. “It is the bare minimum especially considering all you do for this city.”
Kara shook her head, dropping her gaze to the ground, “I don’t do that expecting anything in return.”
“I know that, that’s one of the reasons why I-” Lena’s voice cut off causing Kara to look up sharply at her, “Just...” Lena huffed out a breath of frustration, “Just tell me what it would take.”
“Lena…”
“What would it take?” Lena pushed.
“Why does it matter so much?” Kara asked instead of answering, switching the focus around. “I’ve been fine for years like this, Lena. Why does it matter?”
“Why does it matter?!” Lena spluttered, looking positively outraged. “It matters because it’s you . It matters because you deserve to have as much food as you need without worrying about paying rent. It matters because you matter. It matters because I-” Lena paled, biting down on her bottom lip hard.
“Because you?” Kara whispered, blue eyes wide with shock and hope as her heart hammered against the cage of her chest.
Lena opened and closed her mouth, her whole body tense and rigid before she exhaled deeply causing her entire being to deflate in acceptance and her head to hang, depriving Kara of bright green, “We promised each other honesty.” Lena muttered helplessly to herself, before she raised her chin determinedly, “Because I love you.”
The whole world went still. Everything went quiet. And Kara completely forgot how to breathe as Lena, yet again, took that first step of vulnerability. Yet again ventured forward, tearing down her own walls, to do something Kara didn’t know how to do.
Rao, Kara was in total awe of this woman.
This woman she adored. This woman that loved her.
This woman that made her want to strip away all her armour so that all of her could feel what it was like to bask in the presence of the one and only Lena Luthor.
“It matters for all the other reasons I said as well.” Lena continued, utterly unaware of how she had caused Kara’s entire being to unravel. “But it also matters because I love you and I can’t do nothing , Kara. I can’t do nothing when I have the very means to help you. So, please, please, please just tell me what it would take. Tell me what-”
Lena’s demands were cut off yet again.
Though this time it wasn’t her own doing, but Kara’s.
Kara’s lips pressed against hers to be exact.
It was there in the bread aisle of the local supermarket that Kara Zor-El did the first thing in her life solely as and for herself. The first time that Kara Zor-El was simply Kara Zor-El with no barriers, no armour, no secrets… and the free version of her wanted nothing more than to kiss the woman she loved.
So she did.
And it was… transcendent…
Kara cupped Lena’s cheeks with her hands so, so, so gently. She wasn’t keeping her in place or even guiding, her palms were barely brushing Lena’s skin but Kara had never needed something so much, to feel like she had her whole world safely cherished in her hands.
Lena’s lips were soft and pliable and Kara took so much care in mapping them out. Finding out how to slot their lips so that they fit perfectly together. Where to apply pressure to cause Lena’s breath to stutter. How to coax Lena’s lips gently open with the lightest swipe of her tongue.
Kara eventually pulled back an infinitesimal distance, parting so that their lips were just out of touch and their foreheads resting against each other.
“Marry me.” Kara breathed out.
“What?” Lena gasped, jerking backwards, green eyes wide and kiss-swollen lips parted in shock.
Kara laughed gleefully as she dropped her hands away from Lena’s face to wrap them around the other woman’s waist and pull her close.
“Did… did you-” Lena stuttered.
“Answer your question.” Kara grinned, pressing swift and delicate kisses to Lena’s jaw.
“My question?” Lena murmured, turning her head to the side to allow Kara a path down her neck.
“What would it take.” Kara muttered, nipping at Lena’s tendon and producing a sharp intake of breath. “For you to buy the whole store for me every other week.”
“Oh…” Lena leaned back to arch a sharp eyebrow at the blonde as a mischievous smile took over her face, “Well, now I have a goal to work towards.”
Kara’s eyes crinkled at the edges with joy, “Yeah, I guess you do.”