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Jayne cast a quick eye into the infirmary, making sure River wasn’t in there before he stepped inside with his usual bravado. He saw Simon facing the countertop, standing perfectly still, spine straight, looking down at something in his hands.
“All right, I’m here,” he said sitting heavily down on the exam table. “Do what you gotta do so I can get back to work.”
Simon didn’t move, so Jayne reached into his pocket to see if he had something he could throw to get the other man’s attention. All he came up with was a few knives, which he knew wouldn’t go over well with Mal.
“Doc! Come on!”
Simon’s shoulders stiffened and he turned, face dark and eyes bloodshot and a little swollen.
“Ah, did you get your pretty little shirt dirty?” Jayne mocked as Simon put down whatever was in his hands, quickly turned back around. He moved over to the sink without a word, wet his hands and rubbed water over his face.
“I...yes, Jayne, I got my shirt dirty,” Simon said evenly. “Now....what do you want?”
Jayne made a show of sighing and rolling his eyes. “You told me to come back and get those stitches you put in me out today, remember? It’s not like I came to make a social call.”
Simon looked at him blankly for a moment, then nodded. “Yes. Of course. The stitches. I’m...I’m sorry. Go ahead and take your shirt off and I’ll....”
He seemed.....wrong somehow, Jayne thought as the doctor rambled on. He wanted to ask what was wrong, but it wasn’t his way. Simon would probably just tell him it wasn’t any of his business anyway, so he just kept quiet, took his shirt off and leaned back against the table.
When Simon came at him with shaking hands and a scalpel to cut the stitches away, however, he decided to make it his business. “Ain’t no ruttin’ way you’re gonna....” He grabbed Simon by the wrists and met his gaze, which, Jayne thought, looked.....lost. As serious as always, worried as always, but at the same time....hurt. Broken.
“All right, what happened? That crazy sister of yours break somethin’? Did she cut you?”
Simon looked at him blankly and shook his head, not even trying to get away from Jayne’s grip. “No. No, nothing like that. I just....there was an article. About....about my family. My father....” Despite himself, tears filled Simon’s eyes and he had to swallow back the lump in his throat before he could continue. “He pubiclically disowned us. Said I was an embarrassment to my family, had ruined the family name, corrupted River. Said he...he regrets the day River and I were born.”
Jayne didn’t even realize he was still holding on to Simon’s wrists, but his grip loosened. His thumbs rubbed gently over pale skin where they had just been pressing so hard that Simon’s hands, had he been in a frame of mind to notice, were starting to grow numb.
“That ain’t right,” the mercenary said. “Family’s supposed to stick by you n’ take care of you. Unless the rich ones do things different, which would be pretty gorram stupid.”
Simon gave a bitter laugh and shook his head. “No, that’s how it’s supposed to work, in theory anyway. I just...how could he possibly say he wished River had never been born? She’s this amazing gift. She’s...”
Jayne tilted his head to one side watching Simon closely. “Seems to me you ain’t nothing to be ashamed of either,” he said in a voice that was far softer and gentler than any Simon had ever heard him use before. “You bein’ so smart and pretty and riskin’ your life for your sister and anyone else you come across who needs it and all.”
Simon, unused to getting compliments from Jayne Cobb of all people, simply stared at him. “I...” He swallowed again, then shook his head to clear it. “Thank you.” He sagged a little, swaying closer to Jayne for a moment before righting himself. “I guess I just always thought he’d forgive me one day. Realize that I was just trying to help her.”
He wrenched his hands away from Jayne and turned back to the counter. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be telling you all this. I don’t want anyone else to know and I don’t need to be teased about it either. It would break River’s heart if she knew and...”
“Well, I ain’t gonna tell her!” Jayne was off the table in less than a second, grabbing Simon and turning him back around.
It was so quick, so startling, Simon half expected to be backhanded by the larger man. Instead one of those big, calloused hands reached up and touched the corner of his eye, wiping away a tear that was starting to form.
“It ain’t all about River all the time,” Jayne said roughly. “You’re always thinkin’ of her, but he did this to you too and I wouldn’t tease you about something like that, not somethin’ that really hurts you.”
“Yes,” Simon said sardonically, “because you would never want to really hurt me.”
Simon would have sworn Jayne looked stricken for a moment, but then when he blinked, it was gone.
“I just like to tease you,” Jayne said, nearly pouting. “Don’t mean no harm. You’re part of my crew now like I said before...but this time I mean it.”
They were both silent for a moment, then Jayne seemed to realize how close they were, chests nearly touching. He pulled away, face just a bit darker than normal. “I’m goin’ now. You can take these stitches out later when you feel better.”
“Yes, that would be fine,” Simon said, wondering if he’d just missed something. “Just give me a little time. And.....er....thanks for listening Jayne.”
Jayne looked like he was ready to bolt, but wanted to say something else too, and was caught between the two options. Finally, he reached out and touched Simon’s face with the back of his index finger. “You got real pretty eyes, Doc. Even when you’ve been cryin’.”
With that, he was gone, leaving a stunned Simon standing alone in the infirmary, still hurt by his father’s antics but somehow feeling better about it all at the same time.
Maybe, he thought, he wasn’t so alone after all.