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“Peter Burke.”
“Agent Burke? This is Baines, NYPD. We got a guy down on 3rd and Lenox threatening to jump, says he’ll only talk to Peter Burke FBI.”
“Well I don’t know what help I’ll be-”
“This guy knows you. Hold on. Caffrey, that’s his name.”
Peter’s heart dropped into his stomach. He immediately turned to his computer and pulled up Neal’s tracking data. “That can’t be right. Neal’s not-”
“Hey, we do what they ask. I don’t know this fancy shirt, but he says he won’t talk til you come.”
Peter’s heart dropped into his shoes as Neal’s location was confirmed by the computer. “I’m on my way.”
Peter only had one thought from the time he left the 21st floor until he arrived on the scene.
‘Not Neal, not Neal, Dear God, not Neal.’
He met Detective Baines, who filled him in on the relevant information, but as Peter left the top floor elevator and walked to the roof, he couldn’t recall the man’s words.
Neal was on the roof.
He was close to the edge, looking over, but sitting leaning against a small ledge, with his knees drawn up to his chest.
“NEAL!” Peter yelled, before realizing it wouldn’t be in either of their best interests to spook Neal in this moment.
Baines had probably said that, but Neal was all he had been thinking of, then and now. Neal himself appeared calm, slowly turning his head to face his handler and friend.
“Hey Peter.” His tone was flat and his face was blank. He immediately turned back and Peter didn’t know what to do, but his legs carried him forward.
“Hey, Neal, what’s going on?” Peter wanted to go to him, but he also didn’t want to get too close. He settled for sitting about a yard back from Neal’s perch; enough space to feel safe, but be near to his friend at the same time.
“Neal?”
“Would you believe me if I said I wasn't planning to jump?” Neal asked, mirthless.
Peter replied to him in honesty, hoping it got through to him. “Uh, I could, if I wasn’t so damn scared right now.”
Neal looked right at Peter then, his eyes scanning his face so thoroughly, Peter felt like he was being X-rayed. He couldn’t imagine what he must look like to Neal, probably a scared idiot.
Neal seemed to have found what he was looking for though, and Peter could have cried with relief as Neal scooted back to where Peter was sitting. He exhaled a breath, and grabbed Neal’s hand from where it was sat next to his.
Neal didn’t pull away. He understood Peter’s need for connection. They remained that way for a few moments before Peter finally broke the silence.
“You weren’t planning to jump?”
“Well…” Neal’s eyes darted to and away from Peter. The FBI agent knew this look. It was Neal’s ‘I'm doing something bad’ tell.
“Neal, as long as you and I both get off of this roof in one piece I don’t care what you have to tell me. Full immunity until we’re both on the ground and preferably with an explanation.” It was stupid and desperate, but he had to say it. Anything to keep Neal safe.
“Well, Mozzie needed my help,” Peter suspected he may have taken 3 years off of his life with the effort it took not to respond. Of course it was Mozzie.
Peter’s first instinct was to say something callous, but they were on the top of a building. Anything could upset the fragile calm he had achieved.
“And you decided to be a good friend, of course.” It was all he could think, and he was rewarded, since it managed to make Neal smile.
“Of course. I got up here, and I just started thinking about the last few months. I guess I got a little overwhelmed.” Peter could tell it took a lot for Neal to even reveal that much.
The last ‘few months’ had included Kate’s death, Peter’s poisoning, Mozzie’s shooting and the whole Fowler debacle.
If the last few months were overwhelming for Neal, a normal person would have definitely jumped by now, or been up here sooner.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t call them a walk in the park,” Peter began.
“But Neal, you, know, you can talk to me, right? Or Elizabeth. I guess not Mozzie. But I’m sure June would be willing to listen. Even Diana or Jones, I know they don’t seem like it but they really do like you-” Peter could feel himself rambling, but he didn’t know what else to do.
He just wanted to make it better, to help Neal somehow. Leaving him to his own devices wasn’t helping, he could see that now.
Neal cut him off mid sentence anyway, stopping him before he could go too far down the rabbit hole.
“Peter, it’s okay. I know I can talk to you.”
“Or Elizabeth.”
At that he prompted another smile. “Or Elizabeth.”
Peter grinned at him, and took a deep breath. At least, for this moment, the storm had passed.
“I guess we have to go back down there at some point,” Neal said, the tinge of apprehension in his voice matching the look on his face at the idea.
They both knew what was waiting for them at the bottom. Questions, demands, EMTs. It was going to be a madhouse, and not the good kind. They would want to put Neal under a psych eval. It was protocol.
As usual when it came to Neal, protocol seemed gratuitous, edging on downright cruel. He couldn’t subject Neal to that. It would cause his friend to withdraw even further into himself than he already was.
He could sense it starting to happen now. His inattention may have helped to get Neal up here, but it wasn’t going to follow them down.
“Don’t worry Neal, we’ll make it work. A few days at Casa De Burke and you’ll be back to fighting shape.” Peter hoped his irreverent tone conveyed his assurance to protect Neal.
At first his friend didn’t move. He studied Peter gravely, X-raying him again, before letting out a sigh of his own.
“Well, if you’re offering, I’m not going to say no,” Neal finally supplied, gracefully climbing over Peter to stand, and offering the FBI agent a hand up.
Peter took it, and gripped it hard. Before Neal could pull away, Peter had enveloped him in a hug. Brief, but filled with the unsaid words of protection and care Neal needed.
They let go, and Peter led the way back to the stairs.
“Oh who are you kidding, you love El’s cooking.”
The continuing banter was just enough to get them back to some semblance of normal.
As they descended, Peter hoped that the next steps they took, though the path was uncertain, would be enough to get Neal all the way back.