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The second time Jane Foster returned to her lab to find SHIELD agents carefully packing up every scrap of her research, she hit one of them with a chair.
In retrospect, it wasn't her proudest moment. And, once she'd been restrained by a few of the nondescript men and Agent Coulson had calmly gotten her to stop shouting at them so he could explain, she did feel a bit bad about it. A very tiny bit. Her location in New Mexico, Coulson had said in that annoyingly reasonable tone of his, had been compromised. Whatever that was supposed to mean. So, both her and the lab were being moved somewhere she could continue her research safely.
When she'd asked just where that was, the response hadn't quite been what she expected. Area 51 had sprung to mind, but that seemed a bit over the top--
Oh, who was she kidding? She'd spent the last month trying to find a Norse god because he broke his magic rainbow bridge and couldn't come back to earth until it was fixed. All on the government dime. Had it been any other time, she would have been utterly ecstatic to receive the kind of funding they were giving her.
That dime also meant they could send her anywhere, it seemed. Though, really, Malibu hadn't even been her radar as a possible relocation point.
"Just when did my home become SHIELD's newest shelter for wayward scientists?"
Nor did living with Tony 'Actually, I am Iron Man' Stark. Needless to say, her life had taken a decidedly odd turn lately.
Coulson managed one of his bland smiles that just screamed he was humoring Stark, hands folded neatly behind his back. "It isn't a long term situation, Mr. Stark," he replied. "There is already enough security in place here to keep Dr. Foster safe until a more suitable arrangement is found."
Stark gave him a look that would not been out of place on her research assistant. Somewhere along the lines of 'bitch, please' if she wasn't mistaken. "You said the same thing about Banner. Jarvis, where is Dr. Banner?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of Coulson.
"Dr. Banner is in the armory," a dry, British voice that seemed to come from all around them replied. Speakers in the walls then? "Practicing his breathing exercises. Shall I inform Miss Potts that reconstruction will be necessary? Again."
The man certainly didn't do anything halfway, it seemed. He somehow managed to look just as poised and imposing in an absolutely filthy t-shirt and jeans as he did in suits that probably cost more than she was still paying off in student loans. Like he'd just walked off of the set of a GQ photo shoot rather than dragged out of his lab to deal with an astrophysicist being forcibly moved into his home.
Jane was suddenly very sharply reminded of the fact that she had once bought an issue of Maxim just for the interview with him in it. Oh god, if SHIELD's research on her was that in-depth, she might as well just go hide now.
"I don't know, Jarvis," Stark drawled, glancing over at her once. His eyes flicked up and down, seeming to take in every detail. Jane resisted the urge to frown, instead holding herself up more confidently. "I think that is up to Agent Coulson. You wouldn't want to make Pepper angry, right? You wouldn't like her when she's angry."
Coulson exhaled just a hair too heavily, betraying the annoyance at dealing with Stark. Jane could almost like the man just for garnering such a response. "I'll be sure to inform Director Fury about your former personal assistant's annoyance," he said, regaining some of his calm.
Stark's mouth twitched into something that was more grimace than grin and he turned away, dismissing Coulson entirely. "Welcome to summer camp, Dr. Foster. Jane. Can I call you Jane?" he asked as agents bustled about around them, bringing in her delicate equipment before disappearing down a flight of stairs with it.
"Don't worry, the camp counselors are just swell here."
Jane jerked her head back to look at him, still keeping an eye on the agents out of the corner of her eye. "Thank you?" she ventured warily. "Jane is fine, Mr. Stark."
"Please, call me Tony," he said with a smile that probably convinced countless numbers of women that they could really trust him. That all those rumors about his rather active personal life didn't matter and they could get him to turn over a new leaf.
First Thor, now this. How did she suddenly go from dating a doctor with issues committing to dealing with a Norse god and billionaire with a fancy suit of armor?
She nodded, hoping her cheeks weren't nearly as red as she feared. Judging by how that smile grew larger, she was certain it was in vain. "Tony then."
"So, tell me," Stark said, following the trail of bland, darkly dressed agents down the stairs. He glanced back once, clearly expecting her to follow. "Did you really get a god to steal your research notes back from SHIELD?"