Chapter Text
The Book Club, Chapter 1
Simon:
“For the last time, Aggie… I am not ‘a Peeta.’”
It’s getting annoying, but once Aggie has an idea in her head, it’s hard for her to let it go. I should know: I dated her for two years (on and off), and she’s stubborn as they come. I don’t know how many hoops I tried to jump through for her, and all that ever accomplished was her getting more comfortable yanking me around. She thinks I’m weak-willed and wishy washy. And maybe I am. But I am not a Peeta.
Right now she’s looking up at me and her nose is scrunched up from her adorable little pout. She’s waiting for me to go along with it. Apparently she thinks this idea of hers is hilarious, and Keris and Trixie aren’t helping with their laughing. Certainly this whole concept is flattering to her… the idea that she’s a Katniss and I’m a Peeta. Which is more than ludicrous since those two love each other passionately and Agatha and I are more passionate about other things than each other. But that’s not how she means it of course.
We’re reading The Hunger Games right now in Book Club; we plan to read all three books in the series. This isn’t going to be very fun if she uses our book discussion these next few weeks to bolster her theory that she’s the fierce one in our relationship.
I mean, true: when we were dating I was the clueless pushover and she called all the shots. We never did a thing that wasn’t her idea first. And that includes breaking up.
All six times. We’ve broken up six times in the past two years, and every single time was her idea, based on a mood she was having or something wrong she claimed I’d done.
And every time we got back together? That was her idea, too.
The problem is she’s really, really pretty. She has this long blonde hair that’s like white gold. And these soft brown eyes that have thick dark lashes. Her skin tans easily and she’s just so effortlessly healthy and clean looking. I love how tiny she is and how white her teeth are. She’s like a good-natured, slightly spoiled Barbie doll, come to life. And I’m proud to call her my girlfriend (when she lets me).
Which is not right now. We’re on “a break”, but meanwhile she’s coming to book club because this is a thing we’ve been doing for years.
I think of it as “my” book club, because I’m the one who started it, when we were eighteen and just out of high school. A group of us friends were going to our hometown university, and while we didn’t have classes together anymore it was fun to have a reason to keep getting together on a regular basis (beyond just parties). So I started this book club.
It’s fun… pretty recreational and laid back. We read YA fiction, mostly dystopian novels with young heroes and heroines. Futuristic, fantasy stuff. We’ve done the Harry Potters, the Insurgent series, the Scythe series, and a whole bunch of one-offs. Currently we’re doing The Hunger Games.
“Simon,” Aggie persists, “you ARE a Peeta. Hear me out.”
I shake my head at her and sigh. But I’m listening.
“Peeta’s the son of a baker, right? You love to bake. You bring us scones every week.”
“Sometimes I bring cookies.”
“That’s a baked good.”
“Okay, that’s one thing in common. It still doesn’t make me a Peeta.”
“You’re a pushover. You’re a big teddy bear who gives back rubs. That’s a Peeta quality.”
“Yeah, well isn’t Peeta really good with words? Because I’m not.”
“You’re not terrible with words. In the Hunger Games world you might have been wordier.”
“You’re grasping at straws.”
“I’m persistent; I don’t back down. Just like Katniss.”
“Omigod, Aggie, Katniss kicks ass. You are—” I stop. She’s giving me a bad look.
“I’m what, Simon?”
What I want to say is that Katniss isn’t afraid to be different, while Aggie despite all her prettiness is the most ordinary person I’ve ever met. I’m not stupid enough to tell her that. (She’d never take me back if I did.)
“You’re adorable. You’re too sweet and perfect to get all mucked up in the jungle. And you would never hurt a deer. Katniss shot animals with her bow and arrows all the time.”
“He’s got you there, Aggie,” Keris laughs. “You’re a vegetarian.”
She sends Keris a withering look, but now we notice Penny’s joined the group. And she has someone with her.
It’s a guy… no one I’ve seen before. He’s looking cooly back and forth at each of us, a slight smile on his lips. He looks cocky and kind of judgy. But he’s fit as hell.
Everyone in the room perks up a little, including Aggie. I find myself feeling annoyed, again. At least when she’s teasing me I have her full attention.
“Hey, guys,” Penny says. “Picking on Simon, as per usual? I’ve brought someone along who’s thinking of joining our book club. Any of you know Baz?”
I haven’t seen him before. He’s not someone you’re likely to forget. He’s tall and lanky, but in an elegant way. He wears his clothes well… and they look expensive. I feel pretty frumpy in comparison, in my jeans and t-shirt. And Baz’s hair is great. Kind of long and swoopy. Agatha’s admiring it, I know.
“Hi, Baz,” Agatha says, “Welcome to book club.” She elbows me, and I become aware I haven’t said anything yet.
“Yeah, hi, Baz. Our book discussions are usually a little more interesting than this one.”
“You must be Simon?” he asks.
“Yes. And this is Agatha, Keris, and Trixie. Have you read the Hunger Games yet?”
“No, but I’m eager to start, now that I know I’ll learn so much about your personality and relationship with Agatha once I do.”
Everyone laughs, so I pretend to laugh too, but I’m chaffed. Is this club going to turn into a “pick on Simon” contest?
Baz:
He doesn’t like the Peeta jokes, that’s plain to see. But it’s easy to see why everyone enjoys teasing him about it… he gets so worked up. His face gets red and his nose gets scrunched and he’s practically sputtering.
But in a good-natured way.
No one in this club knows me, except for Penny. We have an English lit class together. But I know someone in the club besides her… Simon. I noticed him on campus the year he started. But he always has his head in a book or is surrounded by his gaggle of friends. I don’t think he’s ever noticed me.
He’s looking at me now. I wonder what he thinks?
I’ve had a bit of a crush on him for a while now. Going on two years. Which he would know if he ever came to LGBTQ events, as I’m the president of the local chapter. But he hasn’t been to any of our events, so I’m left to assume he’s straight... and not even the supportive kind straight.
Pity.
He’s pretty dreamy looking, in my opinion. A little shorter than me, but more sturdy and strong. A naturally fit form and the most adorable bobble of dark blonde curls on top his head and around his face (but cut short in the back). He has blue eyes and a nice nose and pretty full lips. Also, he has all these beautiful freckles and moles, sprinkled all over his face and arms… probably his whole body.
I’m trying not to undress him with my eyes. (That would be considered impolite.) Still, I’m more than a little curious as to where else those possible freckles and moles are situated exactly.
I like his friend Penny. She’s a smart girl, fun to talk to. I think she mentioned this book club to me because she wants to hang out more. And that’s why I came. I had no idea I was going to see my secret crush here.
I think I’m going to dust off my copy of The Hunger Games…
Simon:
Okay. Someone has to get us back to business. I pull out my clipboard.
“Well, if you’re interested in joining the group, Baz, I’ll need your name, library card number, and phone number on this sheet.”
He takes the clipboard from me and looks it over. It’s a spreadsheet I made when we first started, and over the years the names of other people who joined our club have been added.
Except all of them are crossed off now, because they stopped coming. Except for our original core group of five.
“Looks like you’ve had some turnover, through the years.”
“Yes, well, not everyone’s as committed as us to reading just for the fun of it. Everybody else ends up too busy with school-sanctioned clubs and jobs or what-not.”
“Mmmhmm.” He keeps looking over the list. “Looks like I’m the first other guy to join.”
“Is that right?” I frown and think about it. “Yeah, I guess that’s right. I never thought about it that way before.”
“Then it’s high time we had some new male blood around here,” Agatha chimes in, smiling sweetly at Baz. I swivel my head to look at her. I am not smiling. What the hell, Aggie.
He glances up at me and then turns to smile at Aggie.
Well fucking-A.
He takes my pen and writes his information on the clipboard (his penmanship is beautiful, I notice), before handing it back to me. I continue. “So I usually order the books for us… that’s why I asked for your library card number.”
“You won’t need to order any of the Hunger Games series for me,” Baz replies. “I have the complete set.”
“You’ve already read it?”
“A long time ago. I’ll have to re-read it, to refresh my memory.”
“Okay. Well we’re up to page 200 right now. Usually we read 100 pages a week.”
“That sounds fine. But what do you do if the book is 257 pages long?”
I stare at him, blinking. “Then we read 57 pages, that last week.”
“333 pages?”
“I’m guessing we’d do it 100, 100, 133.”
“Ah. Sounds like you have a very workable system, there.”
Aggie titters. “You’re funny, Baz.”
Fucking-A.
I clear my throat and continue. “Typically, if there’s a movie associated with the book we watch the movie AFTER we read the book. At my place.”
“Will there be room for me on the couch?”
“We’ll make room, Baz,” Aggie replies.
“I print off discussion questions for us each week,” I add, ignoring her.
“What if one of us thinks of questions not listed in your official discussion questions?”
Is he pulling my leg?
“Then go ahead and ask those other questions,” I say slowly, like he’s an idiot. He raises an eyebrow at me, so I tone it down. “We’re pretty informal around here.”
Penny’s been watching the whole exchange between us with amusement. “Simon usually brings us treats, too.”
Baz looks back at me. I explain, “Well, I work in a bake shop. It’s easy for me to bring the day-old stuff. Doesn’t cost anything, either.”
“That’s quite a perk, having you in the club, then.” Baz replies smoothly. I think his eyes are laughing at me.
His eyes. What color are they? Light blue? No. I would call them gray. And they’re dark around the edges, like his eye lashes.
He really is a good-looking guy. Aggie’s going to fall for him, for sure.
“So how do you all decide what books to read?” Baz asks.
Penny answers. “We’re supposed to vote. Whoever has an idea brings it up, and we add it to the list. Then eventually we get to it.”
“Right now we’re committed to reading through The Hunger Games series,” I state firmly.
“Any books on the slate after that?”
I know we don’t have any further books thought up, but I flip through the clipboard to “check”. I don’t want him to think we run a sloppy operation here. “No, there doesn’t seem to be anything.”
“Well I call dibs on picking the next book. When we’re done with The Hunger Games series.” Baz says, a twinkle in his eyes.
“Okay,” I say, “That’s not how we usually do things, but… okay.”
“Are you sure?” he asks. “Because we could vote.”
Everybody’s looking at me in amusement. They know we don’t typically vote. We typically go along with whatever I suggest.
“No, that’s fine.”
“Well, good. So have you started going through the print-off questions?”
“No,” I say, glancing at Aggie meaningfully. “We got sidetracked.”
“I’m done with my… bonus comments, Simon. You may ask your official questions now.”
“Okay,” I say, blushing because I feel Baz looking at me expectantly. I flip through my clipboard, till I find the question sheet.
I clear my throat. “How does Katniss react to Peeta’s declaration once they are alone? He’s just told the audience that he loves her.”
Agatha responds quickly. “She’s pissed. She doesn’t believe him and she’s pissed. She thinks he’s just trying to build up sympathy for himself.”
“But that’s not really fair, is it, Aggie?” I counter. Because I want to help her think this through. “How does she know he doesn’t really mean it? I mean, turns out he does, right?”
“He said it for show and for effect. He doesn’t mean it because she doesn’t feel it in her heart too. If it was real they would both feel it, right? So it’s not real. She’s right to challenge him on that.”
“If she would just stop trying to be such a hard ass she might look at the poor guy and give him a chance. He’s a decent guy. He has qualities.”
Aggie sniffs dismissively. “People who say ‘I love you’, without meaning it-- they’re the worst. It’s empty words unless there’s meaning, true passion, behind it. In Peeta’s case it’s just a manipulation. He’s scared and he wants to cling onto her.”
I look at her glumly. Why do I feel we aren’t just talking about the book, here?
“Maybe Agatha’s right, Simon. Sometimes people think they’re in love with someone, but that’s only because they don’t know what real love is. Yet,” Baz remarks.
“So how long do you wait, how long before you can trust that it’s real?” I ask back, challenging him. Because this book club has a rigorous intellectual backbone.
“When it happens to you, you’ll know.”
“Has it happened to you?” I ask.
“That’s personal,” he replies, quietly. And suddenly this book club is way over my head.
“Wow,” Keris says to Trixie. “The club just got way more interesting.” Trixie nods back at her, wide-eyed. “I’ll go grab my knife,” she says. “So I can cut the tension with it.”
The only one who seems to be taking it all in stride is Penny. “Scones, anyone?” she says, as she passes the plate.