Chapter Text
“Here you go babe.” Eggsy handed Merlin’s waiting hand a mug, a perfectly wonderful mug full of coffee with just the right amount of sugar and a dash of cream.
The first sip was heaven, touched his soul as the hot liquid trailed down his esophagus; a delightful hum reverberated through Merlin’s chest as he took a second sip.
“Perfect.” He kissed Eggsy’s lifted cheek. “I’ll be sad once you are on missions. I won’t have anyone to make me perfect coffee.” Merlin took his beverage and tablet, to the small bistro table in his kitchen, sat where Eggsy had a bowl of hot, steaming oatmeal with brown sugar and berries sprinkled on top. “And this.”
Despite the fuck up that followed V-Day, all the clean up the agency had to do, and the straight hell Merlin’s been through in his position as Arthur since King’s demise; he had found a comfortable life, a solid, growing relationship with Eggsy. At least that was a silver lining after having saved the world and putting Kingsman back together.
“Well, not like I’m being shipped out anytime soon.” Eggsy took his seat across from Merlin, an ankle rested comfortably to his as he tucked into his own bowl of oats.
“This is true,” Merlin answered, distractedly, while reading over an email from Percival. “We still need to get you a spot,” he added, offhandedly.
“Mm.” Eggsy hummed around a bite of breakfast.
He stopped eating his own to focus on Percival’s message, an urgent matter he needed to discuss with Merlin. He had relied heavily on Percival since the fallout of King, and he’s been nothing but the best. When it came time to vote in a new Arthur, if he tossed his hat into the ring, he’d happily shift the reins to Percival. The man was precise, careful, paid attention to detail, and ultimately cared about the agency, the well being of all their staff, and the world.
“What’s the matter?” Eggsy’s foot snaked up his leg trouser, toe raked down in a caress.
Merlin typed a quick reply, closed it out, and smiled up at Eggsy. “Nothing you need to worry about right now.” He winked which caused a beautiful grin to form on Eggsy’s perfect face; he’d never tire of seeing this gorgeous creature.
“If you say so,” Eggsy conceded. He took his empty bowl and Merlin’s abandoned one, dropped a delicate kiss to his head and sauntered away; his hips did an extra shimmy to the dishwasher. And the little shit shot a wink over his shoulder, blue-green eyes hooded, sparkled with lust; it sent a deep, arousing need to his groin.
Merlin groaned, a low rumbly thing in the back of his throat. “You are going to kill me lad. We don’t have time for this.” Eggsy, that tart, came back to stand between his legs, and the bastard had his leg pressed against his growing erection.
“Time for what?” His tone is sickly sweet, a finger glided down his neck to the tip of his spine; Merlin shivered in response.
“This,” Merlin hissed, grabbing Eggsy hand to yank in front of him. “I’m going to be late, and we know I don’t do late.” He ignored the snicker Eggsy passed him and accepted the gentle kiss Eggsy offered. “Come on.” Merlin kept their fingers laced and led them out to the cab waiting for them.
It was a job keeping Eggsy’s hands off of him in the back, but thank Christ he’d managed to talk his dick down when they arrived at the shop. The tube ride to HQ was going to be a long one, especially if Eggsy didn’t stop kissing him.
---
“People have been talking, Arthur.” He’d honestly never get used to hearing that. To him, he’d always be Merlin, but formalities were required and such. “The agents want to know when you are going to hold a meeting to discuss him.”
Merlin steepled his fingers, chin rested there for a moment before he leaned back in his chair; he regarded Percival carefully. “I don’t think this is a matter that needs discussing amongst the agents, do you?”
It was really meant to be a rhetorical question, but Percival answered anyway. “Where I agree it is not, but it is. I was reading through some policies.” Merlin groaned. “I thought you knew them all.” Percival smirked a bit as he sat beside him. “Apparently if a candidate fails out, but somehow proves themselves fit for the table, it is up to Arthur and the knights to take a vote.” Merlin leaned forward as Percival skimmed the file on his tablet. “And I know you wanted Eggsy to take Galahad, but we have to hold a formal meeting and allow the agents a say in the matter.” He shrugged, handing Merlin the tablet, and said, “The options if he doesn’t get voted in are...drastic.”
“But he’s save the world, aye?” Merlin skimmed it. There were only two options for Eggsy if he wasn’t voted in: his memories wiped or death. The ladder had his heart plummeting into his stomach; he felt sick.
Percival nodded as he took the tech back. “It would be advised you don’t vote in, Arthur.” His voice was low. The suggestion sent anger through his blood.
“Are you insinuating I would vote him in, based off of our personal relationship? That we’ve filed all the proper paperwork for?”
“I’m not, no, but others would.” It wasn’t hidden around the agency that some staff and knights alike, disapproved of the union. “But we need to address this. It’s been six months, the agency is finally up and running to rights.” Merlin knew he was right. “Call a meeting. No one is out, all would attend. It’s either you or the knights start demanding, and they are talking.”
He couldn’t avoid it, no matter how much he wanted to protect Eggsy; Merlin had a job to do, running Kingsman was his priority.
“Alright. I’ll send word to Merlin.” It still sounded weird, using his old code-name to address the young man who had taken his spot. They all hoped it wouldn’t be for long, but the time being it is what it is. “Are there any other matters that need addressing?”
Percival quickly tossed himself into the intel he had dug up for Lancelot’s upcoming mission. A local thing involving recon, one where she’d go undercover and visit a nearby nightclub.
---
“What the fuck you mean vote me in or out?” Eggsy paced his office. “I thought you saved the world, get a seat, and that was it.”
Merlin shook his head as Percival continued to explain. “No. That’s not how it works. You have to be voted in by all members. It is an age old tradition since the agency was established, and according to our records only happened a handful of times.” Percival flipped through a few pages. “Four times, to be exact.”
Eggsy stopped to stare at the man. Anxiety and fear rippled off of him, etched his beautiful features; Merlin wanted to hug him. “And how many of them actually got voted in?”
“None.”
The room went silent, a chill moved through as Eggsy asked, “And how many survived?”
Percival closed the folder and regarded Eggsy with patient, but sorrowful eyes. “None.”
Merlin advanced Eggsy, went to pull him into his arms only for Eggsy to hold up a hand; the faintest of tremor in it.
“Not now,” Eggsy managed to whisper.
“I’ll give you two a moment.” Percival bowed out, leaving Merlin to stare at the person he’s grown to love the last five months.
And how fucking fitting all this shit shook out, and Merlin hadn’t said it yet. To be honest, neither has Eggsy. You’d think almost dying and saving the bloody world would make them less daft, but somehow that’s not how this worked.
“Ye know Roxy is on your side, Percival, a few others-”
“And if enough of them aren’t? I’m either dead or without any recollection of the last damn year, or even last fucking five months?” Eggsy spoke over him. He finally turned to face him, something glistening in his blue-green eyes. “Can you even vote?” He asked, expression twisted, contorted his features with anger.
“No.”
“Ain’t you Arthur?”
“Aye, but we fear it would show favoritism. By bowing out, it shows my loyalty to the agency.”
“Like you ain’t loyal! You’re the fucking gov'nor, yeah?” Eggsy shouted, desperate to prove his point. “Signed all the shit, didn’t I? You did. In front of the whole bloody table!”
“And it doesn’t matter, Eggsy. This was built on old traditions, ones made by men who didn’t have love, didn’t care if you were brave, courageous, if ye failed that was it. There was no place for those who couldn’t prove their worth through candidacy.”
Eggsy shook his head. “It ain’t fair. I put my life on the line.”
Merlin ignored every shove, jab Eggsy lay on his person while he wrapped him up in his arms. They didn’t have to pretend right now, because it fucking sucked no matter what. He wanted to tell him he’d get the seat, but you never gave empty promises, not when you couldn’t be sure; and he wasn’t sure. Eggsy finally went limp against him as he lay a soft, tender kiss to his hairline. Merlin silently hoped they all saw how brilliant he was, how Eggsy was an asset and not a liability to the table.
They’d know by the end of the night where Eggsy fate lied. For now, he led them over to a sofa in his office, pulled Eggsy onto his lap and just held him there. No words would fix this, and certainly wouldn’t ease the ache in his heart.
He wished he could have said how he felt about Eggsy just then, but all he could do was muster a soft hum in Eggsy’s ear.
---
Merlin sat at the head, Eggsy stood to his right. He was dressed immaculately in his bespoke suit, the very one Harry had made him. It was repaired, of course from the damage on V-Day, but fit him like a glove. He looked gorgeous, hair coiffed in a way Harry would have been proud, all in his Kingsman glory and Merlin couldn’t help but feel he belonged here. Everything about Eggsy screamed, this is my life, this is where I’m supposed to be, but they had other people making that decision for them tonight.
Percival walked in, his step faltered for only a second as Merlin caught his gaze wandering to Eggsy, but he maintained a cool profile as he to Merlin’s left. It wasn’t long before the rest of the Kingsman started to file in.
Roxy was first, her eyes hard, but confident. Merlin could see the barest hint of hope in them, and how she and Eggsy locked for a moment; it broke him a little.
The rest were less forgiving, their gazes not as soft, lacking emotion, but it was a serious time, and one where emotion couldn’t be considered. Which was exactly why Merlin was sitting out, no matter if he thought Eggsy belonged based on skill and not because of their relationship outside of the agency.
“Thank you all for coming,” Merlin started. “It’s come to my attention that there is a sensitive matter that needs to be dealt with.” He made sure to make eye contact with everyone as he spoke. “Gary Unwin was submitted by Harry Hart, previously Galahad, in 2014 for the seat of Lancelot, and failed the final test.” Merlin explained from then on, how he found out King had turned on the agency, saving the world, helped rebuild the agency, and to present day. “It is our tradition that once one has been able to prove themselves, in Arthur’s eyes, that the table holds a formal vote to either accept the failed candidate into the table, or not.”
The next part was harder to say than Merlin anticipated. “If the vote is against Gary Unwin joining Kingsman as Galahad, the options are memories wiped, or death.” No one reacted, and he wasn’t sure if that helped or not.
“Merlin was able to design a system where each can vote anonymously. There are three options: Gary Unwin is allowed a seat, memories wiped, or eliminated.” Merlin took a deep breath as he prepared for what he said next. “I have decided to relinquish my ability to vote, due to our personal relationship.” He was shocked when a few knights nodded in agreement.
Merlin (once Mordred) stepped forward and gave instructions on how it would work once the options popped up on the table. One of the many inventions Merlin had come up with; he was quite proud of the upgrade as they rebuilt.
“Alright, you have 15 minutes to cast your vote.” To Merlin that seemed like a millisecond, how could anyone decide the fate of the young man beside him, in such a short time as that was beyond his comprehension.
But it seemed no one had a hard time casting their votes, and fifteen minutes flew by with a blink of his eye. Merlin held his breath, not sure he’d be able to go on if the decision was to rid Eggsy forever.
“The results are in.” Merlin sat, patient as the acting Merlin looked over the tally and displayed it on the screen.
He felt all the air knocked out of him when the majority were to deny Eggsy a seat. It took him a moment to register it was just one vote off from keeping Eggsy; if he had only voted in! But then what would happen? Would they veto his choice, would they have said it was because Eggsy and he slept together? It didn’t matter now as Merlin read the final option. Eggsy was to be wiped of his memories.
Percival stepped forward. “Given the decision, I have read the regularities of each outcome, Arthur is to deliver the amnesia dart directly to Gary’s neck.”
“How do we know he’ll do it?” It was Kay who spoke up. Not so surprising, he was one of the few who loved King, but somehow didn’t fall down the pipeline along with him.
“Did you want to see it for yourself? Make sure he was knocked out in front of the whole bloody table?!” Roxy seethed.
“It can be recorded,” Acting Merlin offered. “But it is not required the whole of the Kingsman witness it, just that Arthur himself makes sure, and proper relocation of the body will be provided by an agent Arthur appoints.” Merlin felt sick, he knew he’d throw up as soon as this was over.
“Lancelot and Percival.” Is what Merlin said. “Those are the ones I appoint. Percival is well respected so I know ye lot won’t think I had him hidden somewhere.” It took every ounce of his control to not shout.
That seemed to satisfy a few faces, and it was clear who thought Eggsy was unfit to stay.
“Then I suggest Percival witness as well.” Kay added, his lip curled in a sneer.
“That is n-” Percival began but Merlin raised a hand to cut him off, as he stood.
“No. That’s fine. He can watch.” He looked to Merlin. “When does this have to happen?”
“It is immediate, sir.”
Merlin nodded to himself, didn’t dare look at Roxy who was barely holding herself straight, and addressed the rest. “You are all dismissed and the final word will be sent via glasses.” He didn’t say anything as Roxy clutched Eggsy tightly before leaving; he couldn’t even look at the man he loved.
“Here you go sir.” Merlin was handed a different dart. It was supposed to be stronger, a special mix Merlin designed himself for this sort of thing; only they used them on failed candidates, which was exactly how he had to treat Eggsy. “Thank you.” He took the loaded pen, at least it looked like a pen, but had a button on the side instead of the bottom.
“I really don’t need to be here for this,” Percival whispered, despite it being just the three of them left.
“That would be dishonest, and he ain’t that.” Eggsy spoke, a hollow voice that didn’t belong to him; Merlin still didn’t lay his eyes on him. “I don't want to watch it coming, if that’s okay.”
Merlin stared at the item that would take his love away from him. “I understand.” His voice lacked emotion, needed to otherwise he’d fall apart.
He finally looked up, once Eggsy had his back turned to him. Merlin studied his shoulders, how they strained just a bit against the fabric. He could dot where each mole, each freckle, was located on Eggsy’s back. What his skin felt like beneath his fingertips when he’d trace lines from each imperfection, that was so perfect, on Eggsy’s body to the next.
“Hamish,” Eggsy whispered. His voice finally breaking. Merlin could hear the tears in his throat, how it choked off his vocal cords when he said, “I want you to know something.”
“No,” Merlin begged. “Don’t say it.” He knew what Eggsy wanted to tell him, but he couldn’t bear to hear the words spoken; he’d rather die than hear it once and never again.
Eggsy’s whole body seemed to shake as Merlin readied himself. He stood behind Eggsy, just enough to make out the freckle on his neck, just below his precisely cut hair.
“I love you,” Eggsy mumbled, anyway, just as Merlin released the dart. It didn’t take long for Eggsy’s body to go limp; Merlin caught him.
He felt the tears he’d kept at bay, trickle down his face as he whispered, “I know. I love you too.”
Having been too much of a coward to say it while he was conscious, Merlin allowed Percival to take Eggsy. Time was sensitive, they only had four hours before he’d wake with no memories of the last year. At least Merlin could transfer a decent amount of money into an account for him.
Because, after all, saving the world had to account for something.