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The sudden soft gasp, the slight panting, the subtle shivers; everything of it made his skin prickled with excitement and a heart bursting with happiness— his lips was numb with the feeling of thundering pulse. Thin fingers teasingly trailed from a hipbone over well-defined abs and purposely brushed a nipple, startling another gasp. He brushed his nose over wet cheek, tongue out as he licked along salty neck, lips never leaving skin until he found another pair of lips and swallow a moan there. His free hand gripped a thigh, stroked the pale skin there and pushed up— hard— and the other beneath him shuddered intensely. He shushed gently— whispering sweet nothings— as his other hand reached up and pushed a sweaty bang of faded brown hair away from clammy forehead.
Sighing contentedly, Sehun gazed down at the sight under him, smiling and thought about how lucky he was—
He dreamt of being happy—
So, it seems that— people started to notice.
“What do you usually do in the room?”
It was an innocent question. Since they were in that topic, and the hoobaes were just making conversation about their sunbae’s activities. This was not the first time people mentioned about him and Junmyeon being roommates anyway. They were close enough to not be too professional, but Sehun was honestly a little taken aback.
Junmyeon thought nothing as he replied that they just sleep, but there was a slight pause before Sehun could even think about his answer. Youngho briefly locked eyes with him and then he quickly changed the flow of the conversation to him and Jaehyun. He probably noticed how hesitant Sehun was.
“In the future, I think me and Jaehyun will also reach a point where we just go to sleep without really talking,” Youngho said, gesturing to his DJ partner and roommate. Jaehyun titled his head in agreement.
Ah, the misunderstanding.
“No, actually before we go to sleep, Suho-hyung likes to lie down on my bed with me,” Sehun cut off. Their bed.
Jaehyun let out a sudden laugh, and Youngho exclaimed in surprise. “Ahh, there are always people like that,”
It’s not just that Junmyeon was that kind of people-- It’s just that Junmyeon— his Junmyeon— “Always, always before he goes to bed. I don’t know why he does that when he has his own bed,” Oh god, he sounds like he’s bragging.
Wait, was he bragging? Youngho looked up to Junmyeon as a sunbaenim, nothing else—
There was a mischievous glint in Youngho’s eyes before he said, “It seems to be ‘complaining time’ right now. Sehun-shii, tell us everything.”
“Well, I don’t have any complaints…” And they all laughed, as Junmyeon turned to him, grinning widely and said he's "actually complaining so don't lie" and Sehun nudged him back, trying to control his laughter.
The radio interview ended after a while, and as they wished each other luck and goodbye, Youngho shook Sehun’s hand and muttered into his ear. “I see now why you never stop talking about Suho-hyung,” he gave an understanding nod. "Don't worry, Jaehyun and I won't tell anyone."
Sehun turned to him sharply, but his eyes were hidden under his cap, so Youngho couldn’t see his state of shock— he just grinned widely and waved them away. Sehun stood in the doorway, unable to refute, contemplating the meaning of the words; before Junmyeon pulled him away, linking their arms as they made way out of the studio.
So, it seems that— other people started to notice.
When they decided that it's more convenient for Junmyeon to come to Paris instead of waiting until Sehun finish his photoshoot and fly to Switzerland, Sehun checked out of the hotel that the sponsor provided, leaving his manager and booked a one-bedroom villa further from the city that was bigger, luxurious and had a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower.
And no, he wasn't trying to be romantic.
"That's a fucking lie,"
Sehun usually didn't blush, but his ears immediately went red as he stuttered when he heard Chanyeol's accusation.
"Why would I lie?"
"Then why did you change hotel?"
He just came back from attending the after-party for the fashion event, and Junmyeon's flight wasn't scheduled to arrive until late at night. To ease his boredom, he sought solace in a small, hidden bar near his new accommodation; took a free seat at the edge of the bar counter and ordered a whiskey before calling Chanyeol who's currently in Seoul at the moment.
"Because the sponsored hotel is too small."
A snort came from the phone. "It can’t be that small, and the bed would still be big enough, come on."
"The food wasn't that good…"
Sehun could practically hear Chanyeol rolling his eyes. "It's sponsored by Louis Vuitton; I don't believe that one bit. And it’s fucking Paris, you guys can always eat out. That’s not an excuse, try again."
"It's too noisy and didn't have the view of the tower and Junmyeon-hyung must be happy if we get the view from—"
Chanyeol was full on laughing-- no, he was howling that he almost choked himself.
Sehun calmly sipped his drink. "Shut up,"
Then Chanyeol gathered his wit and took a deep breath; his voice turned gentle and coaxing and it felt comforting that Sehun pressed the phone closer to his ear. "Turn your work trip to a romantic getaway and have fun, okay? And anyway, tell me everything, who did you meet at the event? And is there any drama in the fashion world I should know about—"
Sehun casually ignored the ‘romantic getaway’ part.
After talking for half an hour, he said goodbye to Chanyeol and checked the time. He got an hour before he had to go to the airport to fetch the leader. It took forty minutes to arrive by taxi, so he decided to order a plate of fries.
The fries arrived and served by a handsome man with curly hair and a brilliant smile. "Enjoy,” he said. “By the way, I have never seen you around before?"
Sehun blinked. He got an idea what the man was talking about, since he was talking in English and not French, but he still had no idea how to convey that he wasn’t fluent in the language.
The bartender was quick to catch. "Oh sorry, you don't speak English? Where are you from?"
"South Korea,"
The bartender whistled. "Wow, never been, but I heard great stuff. Good alcohol, right? So— sotuu—? "
He really tried to converse with Sehun, seeing how he spoke each word carefully and slowly. Sehun smiled at his efforts. "Yes, soju."
"Yes! That's the name!" The bartender snapped his fingers and leaned over the counter. "So, why are you here in Paris? Sightseeing? Meeting a long-lost lover?" He grinned.
Sehun shook his head, taking a bite of a fry. "Fashion Week."
The bartender gave him a once look over, and Sehun could tell he appreciated what he's seeing. "I'd say, you do have the look like you just walked the red carpet," Then he put his chin on his hand, eyes twinkling. Sehun rarely got any chance of being blatantly flirted like this back home and he wasn't going to lie that he's enjoying the attention. "You're here alone, by any chance?"
Sehun shook his head again, tapping his watch. He tried to reply with his very limited English. "Waiting for a friend, will come by the airport."
The bartender snapped his fingers again, face delighted. "So, you are meeting a lover!"
Sehun had to laugh. "No lover, a friend."
"I don't believe you; you are telling me someone as gorgeous as you don’t have a lover flying all the way to Paris to come to see you? You're bluffing."
Honestly, Sehun didn't catch half of the things the bartender said— he looked excited and scandalous that he forgot Sehun couldn't fully understand him and spoke way too fast— but Sehun did understand 'lover', 'Paris', 'to see you' and 'gorgeous'.
"No, a friend,"
He didn't know whether he's trying to convince himself or the bartender, but the other just nodded and winked, as if to say he believed him but not.
He never joked about his relationship with Junmyeon.
When it's time to leave, Sehun paid his tab and gave a generous tip and sincerely thanked the man for making his night interesting. The bartender reached to pat his arm and waved at him with a big smile.
"Come by anytime and bring that lover too!"
Sehun had the urge to laugh, but he stubbornly yelled back, "A friend!" before waving back and walked out.
Pfft, lover. As if. He loved Junmyeon, and Junmyeon loved him. But to call him a lover would be an exaggeration; lover meant they're dating which they were not— no matter how much they slept with each other and how much they loved each other—
The taxi arrived at the airport in time for the flight from Zurich to arrive at Paris-Charles De Gaulle because of the smooth traffic. Lowering his cap to hide his face, he walked out of the taxi after paying and went to the arrival hall. He patiently waited until he saw a familiar figure walking out with a luggage and a white facemask. Sehun smiled. That would make it more obvious, Junmyeon-hyung.
Sehun power walked towards Junmyeon before anyone could recognize him, and Junmyeon was quick to spot him. His eyes turned to crescent moon when he saw Sehun, and Sehun's heart thumped painfully.
"Junmyeon-hyung," Sehun greeted him. The name rolled familiarly and beautifully in his tongue. The name 'Suho' was pretty to him as well, and he never got sick of explaining the meaning of the name to anyone who would be willing to listen.
"Sehunnie," Sehun couldn't see his face, but he knew his hyung was smiling.
He led the way towards the exit, where he quickly caught a taxi and helped Junmyeon to load his luggage. Junmyeon was energetic, thanks to the coffee served in the flight, so he ripped off his mask as he chattered away about the photoshoot he had at Swiss, and said how beautiful the mountains were and how the scent in the air was so 'crisp' and so, so cold— Sehun just listened with a smile. Then Junmyeon urged him to tell him everything about the fashion event. Sehun wasn't about to deny him all the juicy gossip he heard from the after-party.
Then he noticed Junmyeon was openly staring at him. "What's wrong?"
Junmyeon grinned. "Nothing. I just love listening to your voice. You should talk more when we go on press or interviews, you know; people should know how lovely you are when you're talking. So, tell me, who else did you meet at the event?"
Sehun had to take a sharp, steady breath before continuing his story. It's been almost ten years and sometimes Junmyeon would still catch him off guard with his blatant affection.
"Ehh~ are you shy because hyung compliment you?" Junmyeon chuckled and reached out to fondly rub his ear, and Sehun just rolled his eyes.
Kim Junmyeon would be the death of him.
"Ani, just thought you're drunk instead of caffeine-high."
Junmyeon swatted him on the arm.
They reached the villa after an hour— the taxi driver was really taking his own sweet time— and as Sehun helped Junmyeon with his luggage, Junmyeon curiously looked over the five-storey building design and expressed his amazement. Sehun paid the taxi driver and gently pushed Junmyeon to the door that led to a hallway and an elevator. The elevator stopped at the top floor as the door opened to a lone, single door. Sehun took out his key and ushered Junmyeon to enter before closing the door behind them.
Junmyeon exclaimed in a low voice as he took in the living room's interior and the clear sight of shiny Eiffel Tower from the wide windows.
"Wow, they gave you such a nice place."
Sehun rolled the luggage to the bedroom and Junmyeon followed him. "No, this wasn't the hotel they gave me. I booked this myself earlier since you're coming."
There was a pause and Junmyeon stared at him with wide, sparkling eyes.
"Did you?" There was a hint of tease in Junmyeon's voice, and Sehun quickly turned his back, taking off his cap and jacket.
"The hotel they gave was too small for both of us," he tried to reason.
"Our bedroom at the dorm was small and I never mind it—" and then Sehun felt a pair of arms wounded around his torso, chin propped on his right shoulder. Sehun turned to see an adoring look on Junmyeon's face. "Thank you for getting us a beautiful place. But honestly, I really don't mind small space if it's with you— that just means I can be closer to you, right?"
It was so cheesy— that’s how Junmyeon was, and Sehun loved it.
The arms slowly turned him around, warm breath ghosted over his chin. His eyes flickered to Junmyeon's nose, then his chapped lips. Junmyeon just stood there, waiting— for something. Sehun's body felt warm all over, his fingers itched to hold Junmyeon close-- closer; but he balled his fingers into fists and cleared his throat.
"I'm hungry, let's go have dinner,"
Junmyeon pouted at him; seemingly disappointed. Seriously, he's the elder, he wasn't supposed to be that adorable. Then Sehun closed the inch of distance between them and pecked him on the lips, lingering for a second before leaning back.
"Let’s go out to eat, hyung."
Junmyeon licked his lips, smiling in satisfaction. "I'll go take a shower."
The moment ended; Junmyeon let go and started rummaging through his luggage, looking for something comfortable and warm to wear outside. Sehun tossed him a towel, and Junmyeon disappeared to the bathroom.
Sehun sighed and sat on the couch in the living room, listening to the sound of water running and hitting the tiles. Since he was young, Sehun rather live life easily and do things accordingly. All his members and close friends called him mischievous and bubbly, but he knew where the line lies for teasing; and though some called him cold and expressionless, later on he would always been praised for having good manners and in control of his emotions. 'Honor' was his motto in life, anyway.
But when it comes to Junmyeon, everything falls away. His smiles became adoring, his eyes turned soft, his hands couldn't stop touching him; and when the desire became too much, too overwhelming— he took his claims all over Junmyeon's body and soul and Junmyeon actually allowed him. Sehun never hides his want for Junmyeon and what Sehun wants Sehun gets. Dare he said, Junmyeon even loved it.
And the fact lies, they're way too compatible that it's scary sometimes.
And maybe, just maybe— Kim Junmyeon exist in this world to test him.
After Junmyeon was ready, they walked out together to the cold, dark streets of Paris, trying to search for any restaurants or food joints that were still open at the god-forsaken hour.
"I actually found a bar not too far from here, and they do have a good selection of food."
Junmyeon stretched lazily. He must have been too tired to protest. "Sure, let's go there."
It was ten minutes’ walk towards the bar Sehun went to earlier. It was way past midnight, and even though the place was not that far from Central Paris, the streets were deserted of people except for a few night joggers and bikers.
When they arrived at the bar, there were a lot more people than Sehun imagined. The bar counter was full of customers, and boisterous cheers echoed from the billiards section. And coincidentally, the bartender who Sehun met earlier, had just finished serving a table and immediately noticed both of them.
"Oh! You come back!" He cheered, smiling that million-watt smile of his and bounced towards them. His eyes glanced at Sehun briefly before blinking at Junmyeon. "So, this is the friend, huh?"
Sehun and the bartender were similar in height, so Junmyeon had to look up to greet him politely. He's well-mannered even outside their home country. “Hi, one table for two please,”
The bartender’s eyes flickered down, raised an eyebrow before clearing his throat. “Ah, sure. Here, we got a table for two at the corner.”
Sehun curiously looked down as well, and suddenly noticed how their hands had laced together and warmed deep inside his jacket’s pocket. He didn’t even realize when he and Junmyeon started holding hands. Was it after they left the villa? Or when they were walking in the streets? Or when they entered the bar?
Junmyeon pulled him along as they were led to their table, where it’s secluded and quieter, and the table was too small they could bump their knees together under the table. No one recognized them in the crowd. The bartender handed them a menu card each, and secretly gave Sehun an exaggerated wink and kept looking at Junmyeon who were engrossed in reading the menu.
“Not bad,” he whispered, impressed as he glanced over at Junmyeon's neat hair, statue skin, and pouty lips. Before Sehun could even think about pushing him away, the bartender then straightened up. “Call me when you’re ready to order, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” and he strutted off like he owned the place (he probably was).
Sehun managed to calm down before Junmyeon glanced up and met his eyes. “You two know each other?”
The younger leaned back, hiding his face behind the menu. “No, I only came by earlier to have a drink and he was just too friendly.”
When he didn’t hear a response, Sehun lowered the menu and found Junmyeon staring at him, and felt a hand stroking his knee from under the table. The gesture seems possessive, but that's probably just Sehun's mind playing tricks on him. “I see,” he said. Then added, “He thinks we’re lovebirds,”
Sehun calmly took out his phone, glancing at Junmyeon. “Well, what he thinks is his own business,”
Junmyeon hummed, and the conversation ended there. They spent a few minutes scrolling their phones before the bartender came back to take their order. Their meals arrived with a bottle of red wine, and they talked while eating about their plans and where they want to go after Sehun finish his early morning photoshoot tomorrow— Junmyeon showed pictures from his phone to Sehun on which museums he wanted to visit, what buildings he wanted to see, and where he wanted to shop. Sehun didn’t mind; he could literally follow Junmyeon anywhere.
They were both tipsy by the end of it; they giggled a lot and Junmyeon was hugging his arm but Sehun wanted to hold his shoulders and it became a tangled mess of tug-of-war on who wanted to hold who— the bartender shot amusing looks at them when they paid for their bills and headed out. It was nearly two in the morning, the streets were cold and empty, and they huddled together as they walked hand in hand towards the villa.
Once they were standing in front of the door to their suite, Junmyeon grew affectionate, and Sehun grew braver.
Two hours later, Sehun, catching his breath—- naked in bed— turned his head to the side on his pillow to stare at Junmyeon— also gloriously naked, blissed out, and in Sehun’s arms— to savour the sight of his flushed cheeks, dropping eyelashes and the colorful marks around his neck and shoulders; as Junmyeon's cold fingers brushed a bruise he made on Sehun's chest.
This. This was what he was talking about. Everything falls away when it comes to Junmyeon. Overwhelming desires that made it too much for his heart to handle— Junmyeon is too much—
“I have to wear a scarf tomorrow,” Junmyeon whispered sleepily.
Sehun tightened his hold around Junmyeon. “I’m sorry,”
The small smile on Junmyeon’s lips before he falls asleep made Sehun shivered slightly. “I don’t mind, I love you.”
Junmyeon’s breathing evened out, and Sehun clung tightly, lips pressed on the skin between Junmyeon’s eyebrows, voice barely above a whisper. “I love you.”
It was supposed to be a work trip. They both had solo overseas schedules and the shoots were coincidentally close to each other. Chanyeol’s voice kept ringing in his ear; turn it from a work trip to a romantic getaway— Fine, he admitted. He admitted how he was the one who asked Junmyeon to come to Paris instead of him going to Switzerland because Paris is the city of love; he booked a luxurious, private villa that have a perfect view of the Eiffel Tower because he read the reviews of how romantic the place was; there were plenty of late-night food joints that were still open but he took Junmyeon to the bar because he wanted to show off to the friendly and flirty bartender how beautiful Junmyeon was and how he’s already taken—
Damn it, it’s all Chanyeol’s fault.
So, it seems that— their families started to notice.
They were definitely not fighting.
Fighting is childish, immature— barbaric. Not honorable at all. This was just— miscommunication. Yes, that’s it. They’re both adults, and adults don’t fight.
“That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,”
Sehun flinched when his mother closed the fridge door with a bit more force than necessary. She then poured him a glass of milk before settling down next to her youngest son in the dining table.
“Aren’t you too hard on him?”
Of course, Sehun knew that. They were all busy preparing and training for the comeback and the next concert tour, making sure they were all fit physically and mentally as a group while balancing their solo projects. More than often, Junmyeon and Sehun only came back to the dorm once every three days; and when they met, it was with haggard shoulders and gentle smiles. But Junmyeon was never there when the group was practicing. And whenever Junmyeon actually appear, it’s always either late at night or at the crack of dawn. He always felt guilty about missing the practice, but Jongin was kind and generous enough to help and accompany the leader for the new dance routine and had to pretend to be angry whenever Junmyeon— with his small and tired voice— apologized to him.
Sehun didn’t know what triggers it; whether it's from the exhaustion of the endless training and schedules, the stress of missing another brother, or Junmyeon’s constant absence. But it led to them waking up together that morning, checking the news on the internet, talking and commenting about something that came out as hurtful and offensive, and made Junmyeon— gentle and well-mannered Junmyeon— glared hard at him and ran out of the room while slamming the door.
Luckily, most of the members were not at the dorm, saved from Jongdae— so he was the only person who witnessed the storming leader grabbed a jacket and his phone and drove away from their garage.
Sehun was also not in good condition. Annoyed and fuming, he didn’t even bother to stop the leader from leaving.
A knock came from the door, and Sehun looked up to see a concerned Jongdae. “You okay?”
Sehun inhaled deep to calm his nerves. It’s no good to drag the kind-hearted Jongdae into their mess. “Yes, I’m fine.”
“Junmyeon-hyung doesn’t look fine,” There was an absolute worry on Jongdae’s face, mouth turned down and brows furrowed deeply. “He took the car and I don’t know where he’s going.”
Getting up and searching for a clean shirt, Sehun grumbled into the air. “Probably to find one of his so many boyfriends,”
“I beg your pardon?”
He was sure he was loud enough, so he was certain that Jongdae undoubtedly heard him. “I’ve said what I said,”
Jongdae sighed behind him. “I don’t know what you guys are fighting about but it’s rare to see both of you so angry like this. Take time off today and try to cool down, maknae.” Sehun glanced at him as he spotted Jongdae taking out his phone and typing something. “I’m going to tell the manager both of you are out sick, and I’ll try to find out where Junmyeon-hyung is.”
Sehun hide his messy hair with a cap and grabbed his keys. In his anger, he begrudgingly thought Jongdae only say that to try to guilt him into caring for Junmyeon and that was the last thing he wanted now.
Jongdae left without a word, and Sehun also didn’t say anything when he’s out of the door.
And that’s how he found himself at his parent’s home five hours later, drinking a glass of milk.
“How am I the bad guy here?” Sehun muttered. His mother raised an eyebrow at him. The house was empty when he arrived earlier, and he spent hours just watching movies after movies to try to distract himself until his mother came home, surprised and a bit confused to find him sulking in the house.
“I know how your hyungs spoiled you, but he’s still your hyung. If your father knows, he will tell Junmyeon to pinch you hard.” She shook her head, getting up and picking up Vivi from the floor, handing him to Sehun. Then she gently patted his hair. “You both big boys now. You can think for yourself, right?”
Sehun frowned when he took Vivi from her hands, thinking about the last time he had ever been so mad with Junmyeon. He drew a blank— ever since they've been… together, there was never a single misunderstanding that would result into careless words and slamming doors. It was always either Junmyeon gave in to his demand and laughed it off, or Sehun just rolled his eyes and followed Junmyeon's wish.
Junmyeon was too soft-hearted— and Sehun was too soft for Junmyeon.
His mother left the kitchen with a cup of tea, and disappeared into the living room, leaving him alone with his thoughts. She's right, this mis— fight should stop. Petting Vivi's head, Sehun finally found himself calm enough to open his abandoned phone and was surprised to see more than ten messages and missed calls from Jongdae.
Most of the messages were about how he couldn’t get in touch with Junmyeon (and that's weird because Junmyeon always— always pick up calls and reply messages).
His palm started getting clammy, cold sweat began forming on his forehead as he immediately sought Junmyeon’s contact. The call went to voice message after ringing for too long. He tried again. And again. And again.
Relax, Oh Sehun. He's probably just with one of the members. Baekhyun's good at consoling people. But Baekhyun and Jongin were not even in the country for another project; so maybe Chanyeol? Does Kyungsoo had any filming schedule? And Minseok-hyung was preparing for his move, right? Or one of his friends like Minho-hyung or Kyuhyun-hyung who doted on Junmyeon? Or he might be with—
The call finally connected and the voice he heard wasn't the one he wanted to hear at that moment.
"Ah, Sehun-ah." A woman's voice.
His blood felt cold. "Urm, yes? May I know who this is?"
"It's me, Sehun-ah. Junmyeon's mother."
Sehun let out a breath he's been holding. Of course, of course Junmyeon was at his family's home, thank goodness— "I'm sorry, eomeonim. I didn't recognize your voice over the phone. Is Junmyeon-hyung there?"
"Yes, he's sleeping now. I tried to wake him up for lunch, but he said he's not hungry. I didn't have the heart to wake him up again and his phone was dead, so I'm charging it for him." She was so soft-spoken; Junmyeon got that lovely voice from her. "Is everything alright? I see a lot of missed calls from Jongdae-yah. Is he missing any important things?"
Sehun smiled, relief flooded over his being. He brushed his sweaty hands over his jeans. "Don't worry, eomeonim. He's on day off today. Can— can I come over to see him?"
"Of course, child. Please, do come over. You are always welcome at this house."
Sehun was already grabbing his wallet and keys, jumping around with a shoe in one hand. "Thank you so much, eomeonim, I will be there in twenty minutes— yes, thank you again. Goodbye." He ended the call and texted Jongdae of the location. Jongdae replied with a relief emoji.
"Don't drive too fast," his mother suddenly appeared behind him, nearly giving Sehun a heart attack. "Now go fetch your boyfriend and apologize to each other. It's fine, sometimes fights are good for relationships— it means you're learning more about your partners." She calmly sipped her tea, while a stunned Sehun stared at her, dumbfounded.
"I— I'm— Junmyeon is not my— what are you even saying, mom—"
She smiled at him, patting his cheek. "We can talk about this later when you two are ready. Now go, and be careful on the road."
He didn't need to be told twice; a second later he's already pulling the car on the road to Apgujeong, still speechless and horrified by his mother's words. His mother knows— Oh god, his mother knows—
The door was already open for him when he rang the doorbell. Junmyeon's mother stood pretty and petite, face beaming when she saw him at her home; and ushered him to the living room.
"Thank goodness you're here. I don't know what to do, he's been moping and sleeping all day. He still hasn’t eaten anything! I understand if he's tired, but don't you think he ought to eat something? I asked him if he's sick but Junmyeon said he's fine. Clearly not if he hasn't left the bed all day," with a hand upon his waist, she guided him through a hallway and stopped in front of a door.
Kim Junmyeon spending the day away in the bed? That must have been a world record.
"Don't worry, I'll try to talk to him."
She looked up at him, eyes intrigued. "And Sehun-ah, if you two are fighting, please forgive each other. I know he can be very stubborn when he wants to, but lovers shouldn’t fight for long—"
She must had noticed his pale face because suddenly she was holding his arm. "You okay, child? I'm sorry for jumping to conclusion— Junmyeon never tell me things like this, I had to figure it out on my own." She rubbed his arm gently, and Sehun couldn't help to think how much Junmyeon took after her. "I'll leave you two alone now,"
Determined, Sehun slowly opened the door and stepped into the dimly lit room. The only source of light came from the lamp beside the bed, where he could clearly make out a shape under the lump of blanket. He closed the door behind him with a click and padded across the room, hesitantly sitting on the bed right beside the pillow.
"Junmyeon-hyung," he said softly, pulling the blanket a little bit to reveal dishevelled hair, pale skin and puffy eyes.
Jongin once said Junmyeon looked pitiful when he sleeps that it made his heart hurt. Sehun's own heart felt like being ripped apart when he saw the red eyes blinked at him. He’s known Junmyeon enough to know that the red eyes weren’t from crying.
It was from holding his tears.
"Sehunnie—" a hiccup. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't let my feelings got to me, it was my fault that I let them get to me…"
Sehun quickly shook his head, kneeling by the bed instead, gripping the blanket hard. "I'm sorry, hyung. I was wrong. I should have known better than to say that," he whispered, breathing close to Junmyeon's hair. "You know I never agree with those things. And I'm really sorry I brought up about your old— relationships as well. I was bitter— jealous. That was low of me. They’re not important anymore."
"Sehunnie," fingers trailed over his knuckle, feather light and intoxicating. "You know I love you, right?"
"Yes, yes," Sehun answered far too quickly, but he didn't care. He just wanted Junmyeon to know that he knows. "You have no idea— how much I, myself—" he swallowed the lump in his throat, and decidedly got into the bed, pulling the blanket off. "Scoot over, please, jagiya—"
Junmyeon moved slow, but he let Sehun took the remaining space on his bed, and he quickly buried his face deep into the crook of Sehun's neck, inhaling deep as if he finally got to breath after drowning for a long time. They felt like they wanted to crawl into each other; and Sehun was sure Junmyeon could hear how fast his heart was beating. It’s fine. He would let Junmyeon listen to how much Sehun desperately needs him for all he cared, as long as he got to hold his world in his arms again.
"Can you promise me something?" Sehun muttered, feeling Junmyeon’s nod on his shoulder. "Promise me you don't read the comments on the internet too much. Let's never fight over it anymore. I really hate them; they know nothing about you."
There was a beat of pause, and Sehun felt Junmyeon nodding again. "Okay, I will try."
Sehun sighed. He knew Junmyeon couldn't last long-- his need as a leader to be constantly updated with everything and know what the fans think was a bit overwhelming sometimes, and Junmyeon was soft soft all over; but he silently prayed that over time, Junmyeon would give no fucks to them.
They might need that in the future.
“And you don’t have to be jealous of anything,” Junmyeon’s words breathed into his skin, and Sehun had to hold himself from shivering. “I mean, aren’t I supposed to be the jealous one?”
Suddenly, Sehun felt like telling Junmyeon to leave a bruise on him. “No, you’re not.”
It’s all Chanyeol’s fault.
If only he let Sehun bunk with him for the night, or if Baekhyun offer to accompany him, he didn’t have to go all the way to the living room next door to beg and sulk and used his maknae card to get one of his hyungs to sleep with him.
Well, his main aim was to get Junmyeon anyway; he even made a casual offer to him to let him have the sofa in the en-suite living room— and Junmyeon has smiled sweetly and said how “that’s not bad” before Kyungsoo stubbornly (and bossily) called Junmyeon to let Sehun sleep alone— but that’s beside the point.
But he knew Junmyeon’s weakness. They had known each other for a long time; and Kyungsoo knew Junmyeon’s weakness. A bit of whining, a bit of skinship, and a bit of puppy-eyes, and Junmyeon immediately melts. Sometimes Sehun thought Junmyeon’s soft-heart could be dangerous-- not only to himself, but the people around him as well— but he never willed to change anything what made Junmyeon so precious to him.
Sehun sat at the corner of the double futon, back turned to the rest of the members.
He heard shuffling sound and suddenly a hand reached out to hold his. He looked up to Junmyeon and felt Kyungsoo’s sharp stare at them.
“Grant me a wish and I’ll sleep with you,”
Sehun didn’t even think twice. One wish, two wishes, a thousand wishes— if it was Junmyeon’s heart desire, who was he to deny it? “Okay, one wish.”
Junmyeon was delighted, he grinned at Kyungsoo and went to get his bag and followed Sehun to the second villa. When they entered, Sehun quickly claimed the bathroom first while Junmyeon put away his bag and lounged on the sofa. When they’re all set, Junmyeon turned off the lights and got into bed with him after making sure his phone was charging.
Sehun was already half-asleep when Junmyeon scooted closer and put an arm around him.
“What are you doing?” Sehun asked, eyebrows crooked curiously. Honestly, Junmyeon can’t just do this to him— he’s really trying to not succumb to any desire at that moment.
“Sleeping,” Junmyeon replied, short and simple. Sehun clicked his tongue and turned around, moving closer to the edge of the bed to put some space between them.
But then Junmyeon also moved closer and Sehun almost fall off the bed.
“Ah, shit— Junmyeon-hyung!”
A soft snort came from behind him. “Then don’t go there, come here.”
Really, does Junmyeon even aware of the cameras? He probably just didn’t care. But Sehun cared, because if Kim Junmyeon kept testing him, he would drag Junmyeon to the bathroom away from any recorded devices and Junmyeon can’t even complain.
“One wish,” Junmyeon suddenly said, pulling Sehun back to the middle of the bed. “One wish— I want to sleep with you like this tonight.”
Sehun glanced at the edge of the room, and then he pulled the blanket all the way up until it covered their heads, turning and met Junmyeon’s eyes. “Fine, hyung.” He whispered. “Come here,”
Junmyeon looked tired, but happy that Sehun finally complied. Sehun had to surpass a sigh and sneaked an arm under Junmyeon’s shoulder, pulling him close until they were sharing the same pillow. Junmyeon made himself comfortable on his shoulder. Under the thick blanket, everything looked more sensual and intimate. His whole body became hyper-aware of their closeness— he could feel Junmyeon’s leg on top of his, his fingers playing with his pyjama’s fabric, he could literally taste Junmyeon’s scent on his tongue— oh wait, that’s because Junmyeon had moved forward to kiss him and licked inside, groaning and deepening. Sehun kissed as hard, before they stopped and Junmyeon shuddered against his cheek.
“Good night, Junmyeonnie-hyung,” Sehun kissed his temple. “I love you,”
“I love you too,” Junmyeon hummed. “So, so much.”
In the morning, Chanyeol trudged downstairs drowsily and joined the rest of the members who were staying at the Villa No.1 for a big breakfast. Baekhyun and Sehun, and some other staff members who were staying at the second villa would receive their own separate breakfast.
“Baby girl, your morning call makes my heart flutter,” Jongdae sang happily, pouring another cup of coffee and buttering his toast. Chanyeol chewed his porridge slowly and silently wondered how Jongdae got so much energy at such early in the morning.
Miseok drawled. “Everytime I hear that ‘morning call’, I can only think of Junmyeon now,”
Chanyeol finally noticed what was missing in the room. “Where’s Suho?”
“Sehun,” Minseok replied, not bothering to explain further.
Jongdae handed him a piece of toast. “He went with Sehun last night,” he said. “As expected of Junmyeon-hyung, he really can’t deny Sehun anything,”
One of the main directors came into the room, telling them they need to recharge the cameras and signalled to cut the filming so they can change the batteries. The members watched the crews took out the cameras before walking out and closed the door.
“They’re the same either way,” Kyungsoo muttered when they're alone. Chanyeol turned his attention to him as Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow at him. “Did he asked to sleep with you last night?”
Chanyeol shrugged. “Not really, he just came to ask if I’m okay with the room, but I think that’s because he knows I prefer to sleep alone.”
“He knows everyone here prefer to sleep alone,” Kyungsoo said. Now, even Jongin became interested as he stopped eating and stared at the hyungs. “He said we should play rock-paper-scissor and the winner can sleep with him in the room. But he knew we won’t like to share the bed. His only goal from the beginning was always Kim Junmyeon.”
Chanyeol blinked at him. “Oh, so you know.”
Kyungsoo nodded as if to say ‘duhh’, while Jongdae just nod casually as if he had always known it as well. Jongin appeared a bit surprised; even though he had found out around last year when he and Chanyeol had that long conversation in the car about their lives and the members’. “I think Junmyeon only told Minseok-hyung, right?” Kyungsoo asked.
“Ah,” Minseok contemplated, stirring his cooling coffee. “Yes, he did tell me. And Yixing too; Junmyeon told him everything. Sehun doesn’t know that we know though,” he took a sip. “But it’s their lives, right? We can just support and wish them the best from the side-line.”
Chanyeol was about to protest; he had dreams, and one of them is to be a matchmaker.
"Don't even think about it," Kyungsoo kicked him under the table as if he could read this mind, and Chanyeol yelped, rubbing his abused shin.
"What if I told you I know something you don't?" Chanyeol said, tempting the members. Jongin and Jongdae leaned forward, interested. Meanwhile, Minseok and Kyungsoo pretended not to hear him.
"What is it?" Jongin asked, wide eyes and curious.
Chanyeol grinned proudly, leaning back against his chair. "I'll tell you once all the members are interested." He said, motioning to Kyungsoo and Minseok. Both still pretended they didn't hear him.
"What's that," Jongdae rolled his eyes incredulously, shaking his head. “You know nothing more than what we already know.”
“That is actually correct.”
Kyungsoo almost threw the bread at Chanyeol’s head.
After that, they changed the subject about the filming, unaware of the youngest standing near the outdoor entrance, unmoving and listening. The crews were busy with filming preparation and paid him no mind.
Slowly and quietly, Sehun turned back and went to the gazebo where Baekhyun and Junmyeon were.
"Did you get the biscuits?" Junmyeon asked when he spotted Sehun returning.
He sat opposite Baekhyun. "No, they said they don't have it."
Junmyeon raised an eyebrow. "Strange, I saw them in the fridge last night."
Sehun saw how Baekhyun were looking at them from the corner of his eyes while pouring his coffee, glasses glinted in the sunlight. Oh, so those things Chanyeol and Baekhyun teased him about Junmyeon— those aren’t just jokes? They actually know about—
Sehun brushed back his hair and shrugged at Junmyeon.
So, it seems that— the members had notice- or know it all along.
So, what if they know?
The whole night was a blur. He remembered he cried on stage, and Baekhyun came to hug him, and Junmyeon consoled him. He remembered bowing down to the fans to thank them for spending the last day of the year with them and changing and getting into the car to celebrate New Year's Eve with the members and other staff. He didn't remember though if he had seen the fireworks, or how he let go of Junmyeon's hand when the leader left early to get some rest before his first 2020 solo schedule.
His manager asked him where he's heading— they didn’t let him drive after drinking and the manager didn’t drink, so Sehun decided to stop at the church.
The church they stopped by was small and surrounded by old neighborhoods. The streets were empty, and the manager decided to wait in the car. When he went inside and sat at one of the benches, he suddenly realized he was the only one there.
"I don't have high hopes for the year," he whispered into the dimly lit hall, clasping his two hands together. "But I hope everything goes well, and everyone is blessed with good health." He closed his eyes, heart beating loudly. He didn’t voice it out loud, but Junmyeon's name kept repeating endlessly; and he prayed hard that his feelings for the man would never fades.
After a while, he went back to the car and asked the manager to drop him at the dorm, while opening the app to greet the fans. He was tired and a bit drunk, but his need to wish the fans for the new year was greater than his exhaustion. The dorm was dark when he entered, and he went straight to bed without any thoughts.
It was near the afternoon when he trudged downstairs, freshly showered and no hangover and was surprised to see someone at the living room.
“What are you looking at?”
It was rare nowadays to see Chanyeol in the dorm. Whenever he’s there, it was either because he’s waiting for their group schedules, studio practice, or hanging out. He mostly focused on making music at his studio. They had no practice or anything group related for that day; and most of the members were either busy with their solo schedules or going back home. Sehun himself has already packed an overnight bag. He just went down to get some water from the fridge when he saw Chanyeol grinning at his phone like a fool.
“Here,” Chanyeol gestured at him and Sehun sat beside him on the couch. There were pictures of him with a baby boy, and then another with Jongin and a baby girl. “Aren’t they both cute? Na-Eun is literally a baby princess, look at her smile! She’s so pretty! And Gum-Ho’s cheeks are so squishy I just want to eat them, but I didn’t of course-- and I am suffering,”
Sehun was impressed at how Chanyeol could say all that in one breath and just nod. “I almost forgot; why did you go with Jongin? The last time you went to see the twin it was with Baekhyun-hyung.”
Chanyeol who was full on sobbing at the corner, looked up and suddenly pointed behind Sehun. “Because that jerk refused to go with me, and I didn’t want to go alone!”
Sehun turned and locked eyes with an amused Baekhyun who was holding a candy bar in his hand. “First of all, I had a schedule that day and I already said I was sorry. And second, I was the one who begged Jongin to go with you because you’re too whiny.” He broke a piece of the candy and fed it to Sehun who dutifully accepted it. “At least you don’t hit him when you met the children.”
Chanyeol stared at him, face down and mouth pouting. “They’re too cute,”
Baekhyun smiled softly. “I know,” he said. “I’ll go with you if you want to go see them again.”
Sehun repeatedly looked between Chanyeol and Baekhyun, held his breath waiting for them to continue— but neither of them said anything. Where to begin? The discussion was already made. And the thing was, he knew the three of them were thinking and sharing the same nervous thought; but they had made a promise to go through this together.
“Anyway, what are you two doing here? I thought you guys have things to do?” Both Jongin and Jongdae gone back home for the holiday, while Junmyeon had to attend an event (in New Year nonetheless), so he was a bit weirded out that the other two beagle-line were there.
“Yeah, I left some things here and he asked me to pick him up.” Chanyeol pointed at Baekhyun. “How about you, Sehun-ah?”
“I think I’ll just stay,” yes, he had an overnight bag ready to go. He could change his mind anytime.
Baekhyun raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure? The dorm will be empty, you know.”
“Yeah, no problem.” Sehun went to the kitchen and investigated the fridge. Half of it was empty. They really need to do groceries soon. “I’ll just go back home when I want,”
Then Chanyeol volunteered to cook and Baekhyun helped him, while Sehun sat at the kitchen island watching them and eating an apple. They had lunch together and talked for a bit, before the elders went upstairs to get their stuff and get ready. Sehun waited and helped them carry their bags to Chanyeol’s car, and waved goodbye to them until they were gone from view. He headed back to the kitchen and stood in front of the kitchen island, staring down at the grocery list he had ask Chanyeol to write for him.
He sat at the bar stool and took out his phone, scrolling until he found the name and called.
“Yes, Sehun-ah?”
Unintentionally, he let out a heavy breath and let his head dropped into the crook of his arms. “Are you finished yet?”
There were noises in the background— the sound of people talking and equipment moving almost drown the voice. “Wait a minute— I can’t hear you clearly.”
“Are you finished yet?”
Junmyeon might have cupped his mouth over the phone like he usually did when he tried to concentrate. “Finished? Yeah, I guess so. I’m wrapping up in an hour at least. What are you doing right now?”
Sehun looked at the clock. It was six pm. If he said to Junmyeon that he’s alone and lonely in the dorm, Junmyeon would arrive before nine. And if Junmyeon say he’s alone and lonely, Sehun would drop everything and go to his side. That’s just how their relationship works.
“I’m on my way home, it’s been a while since I see my family and Vivi.”
“Oh, is it? Please send my regards to them, and yes, Vivi too.” he chuckled at his own joke. Sehun smiled, regardless. “Actually, I think the rest of the members are going back home too, right? I hope they remember to turn off the gas and lights. Who was the last one to leave?”
“Me,”
“Oh good, then I don’t have to worry about it then. You even turned off my charger when I charge my phone battery.”
Sehun rolled his eyes. “But hyung, you’re coming back to the dorm?”
One word. Just one word and Sehun would say he stays. That’s how far gone he was.
“No, they already provide a hotel room for me for the entire week. Don’t worry about me.”
“Yeah, sure. Good luck and take care, Junmyeon-hyung.”
“Bye Sehunnie, I’ll see you soon.”
He ended the phone call, stroked his screen with the name ‘Beloved Suho-hyung’, and sighed. They used to end every phone call with “I love you” and “me too” and “Ppo ppo*”— but slowly the endearments decreased, until it completely stopped altogether. He really was not one to think about complicated things or worry over nothing, but sometimes he really missed the little things that made them, them.
He did miss his family. He missed his Vivi too. But if he goes home, he probably breaks down in front of his parents and say things he might regret. It doesn’t matter if his mother already knew, he still wasn’t ready to have that conversation.
Grabbing the grocery list, he dialled the number of the supermarket they frequent and was greeted by one of the workers. He told her the list and gave the dorm’s credit card number. They promised to send the stuff in an hour. Thinking about which friends he should call to have a drink with, he wandered upstairs and stopped in front of a door. It was Junmyeon’s room.
It was unlocked. Typical.
It was also a mess. Sehun smiled and shook his head.
The curtain was drawn close, so the room was pretty dark. The bed was not made, as if Junmyeon left in a hurry. There was also an open suitcase with mix of laundry and fresh clothes. An open water bottle and a book were left unattended at the bedside table. Sehun went straight to the outlet, unplugged the off hairdryer and piled the clothes from the bed into a chair. Then he laid on the bed, stretched lazily and buried his nose into the pillow.
Maybe he was just tired. In a few days he has another overseas schedule with Chanyeol before he had to fly to Paris. Maybe he just needed to close his eyes for a bit. Later, he would call his friends and they could go out to a club and have drinks.
He didn’t know when he fell asleep, but then someone was shaking his shoulders to wake him.
It was Junmyeon.
It was Junmyeon with black hair.
He stared at him, confused and disoriented. Then he looked over at the window. “What time is it?”
“It’s two in the morning,” Junmyeon stood there, looking as confused as him, as he took off his wet coat. Sehun noticed how Junmyeon was wet all over. Was it snowing outside? “Why are you still here? I thought you’re going back to your home. And why are there bags of groceries in front of the door? I have put them in the kitchen by the way.”
Sehun was more awake now. It was rare for him to fall asleep like that, especially when he had trouble going to sleep early and the house was too quiet.
His brain finally caught up with Junmyeon’s questions; he sat up and bashfully scratched his head. “We ran out of things in the kitchen so Chanyeol-hyung left a list— And I don’t plan on going home, actually.” Then he frowned, suddenly remembering something. “Aren’t you supposed to be gone for the week? I thought they got you a hotel to stay. And when did your hair get black?”
Junmyeon swayed on his feet, but able to balance himself before Sehun could catch him. “I colored back my hair yesterday. And I refused their hotel offer weeks ago. It’s not that far from the dorm anyway, I can take a car.” He grinned sheepishly. “I just didn’t tell you because I don’t want you to worry about me— staying at the dorm alone.”
That woke him up immediately. He stared at Junmyeon, who got bags under his eyes and ready to fall asleep anytime soon on his feet. Sehun quickly headed towards him, pushing him to the bathroom and commanded him to brush his teeth and wash his face. The tired Junmyeon obediently followed, doing what he was told to as Sehun blindly search for fresh-washed shirt and tracks. When Junmyeon came out, Sehun stripped him from his outfit and shoved him new clothes.
“What good maknae you are,” Junmyeon smiled, stroking Sehun’s cheek when he finished changing. “I know I said I don’t want to worry you, but I was— hoping that you would stay instead.”
Junmyeon was leaning heavily on Sehun. Sehun snorted before pushing the elder into the bed. “After today, all the members will be so busy, and we would not see each other much… How am I supposed to get by if I don’t see you everyday—” Junmyeon mumbled, his eyes dropping at every single word. “I was so lonely and depressed in the car and thought I wouldn’t get to sleep much— but then I saw you in my bed and I feel… grateful—”
Sehun settled beside him, brushing the elder’s hair from his forehead, thumb gently rubbing Junmyeon’s temple. “We might not see each other everyday, but you can call me everyday, or whenever you have time. I’ll always pick up your call.” They had this agreement long before.
Junmyeon sighed, fingers reaching to stroke Sehun’s arm. “It’s not the same— nothing will ever be the same again— everyone is changing; even you.”
“What? When did I change?”
That was ridiculous; he might have grown up from a silly, clingy, teary teenager to an adult right in front of Junmyeon’s eyes, and he might try to be more independent and build more connections; but Sehun knew he never change when he’s with Junmyeon.
Rubbing his cheek on the pillow, Junmyeon grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together. “You will meet more people, gain more experience and opportunities. And I’m so, so proud of you, but in a way, I’m slowly losing you, isn’t it?”
It was amusing, in a way, how Junmyeon worried about losing him; when Sehun felt like he’s the one who would stubbornly stay no matter what, even if Junmyeon ever decide to abandon him.
“Only one,” he whispered, smiling at Junmyeon’s close lids. “You’re the only one— no one can replace you. You’re the best, hyung. I might change in your eyes, but you can trust me that you will never lose me.” He wasn’t even sure if Junmyeon hear any of it. “All of this— I’m doing all of this so I can keep you. One day, I will be strong enough to protect you.”
Junmyeon stuttered a few gibberish words that Sehun couldn’t make out, so he shushed him instead and pulled Junmyeon into his embrace.
“Go to sleep, hyung. We can talk tomorrow.”
It took less than two minutes for Junmyeon’s breath to regulate into deep sleep.
Having Junmyeon’s body close to him-- the feelings Sehun felt at that moment couldn’t even describe into words.
“I might be half-asleep, but I still remember what you said last night,”
Sehun looked up from the coffee maker, locking eyes with Junmyeon who just woke up and came down to the kitchen, hair fluffy from sleep. “Good morning,” Sehun grinned. “Are you sure? You were already asleep even before you got to the bathroom.” He poured two cups of black coffee and handed one to Junmyeon.
Junmyeon pouted, took the cup and seek for something. Sehun handed a carton of milk to him before pouring it into his coffee. The countertop was still full of groceries from last night.
“Of course I remember. And I’m happy that even though you never follow me back on Instagram, I’m still your only one,” Junmyeon hummed teasingly, eyes turned crescent. Sehun pursued his lips, trying to hide a smile, as he turned his back to Junmyeon and started sorting out the groceries.
Junmyeon poked his head at the laundry room. “Did you wash my clothes from yesterday?”
“Only the shirt and underwear. Your coat and jeans are in the wardrobe.”
“Oh, thank you. That coat can only dry clean,” Junmyeon clicked his tongue in annoyance. Sehun agreed, that was a pain in the ass.
“What time is your rehearsal today?”
Junmyeon glanced at the clock. “Six pm,”
“Okay,” Sehun separate the breads to make some toast. “What do you want for lunch? We can order a delivery or if you want something simple, I can just cook something.” He felt a brush against his arm and found Junmyeon standing close to see what he was doing.
“Can you make spaghetti?”
Sehun picked up two jars of jam, raising an eyebrow. Junmyeon quickly pointed to the strawberry one. He put away the other jar, waiting for the toast to be done. “Sure, no problem. We have mushrooms and tomatoes.” Then he quietly worked on their breakfast with Junmyeon watching him. When he was done, he pulled Junmyeon’s arm and made him sit at the barstool and placed the toast he made on the island.
They ate in comfortable silence, while Junmyeon occasionally checking on his phone. From the next room, the faint sound of the washing machine spin was a welcome companion, and the smell of coffee and bread in the morning brought peace and bliss to his heart.
“I’m really happy when you say I will never lose you,” Junmyeon suddenly said, eyes still boring holes into his phone. “I really appreciate that, you become so reliable nowadays, though I have no idea how you can protect me.” There was a hint of tease in his tone.
“If I asked you to marry me, what would you say?”
Sehun surprised himself with the question, as there wasn’t even a definition of what their relationship is— no matter how many people knew about them being together. Was it because of the domestic scene they both portraying right now, he didn’t know; but his brain failed to filter his feelings at the moment. Junmyeon turned around when Sehun spoke, raising a curious eyebrow and smiled.
“I’ll say— yes,”
Sehun frowned. He was reminded of the familiar situation five years ago. “There is no camera here, and I’m not joking.”
Junmyeon decided to ignore his phone. “I’m not joking either,” he grabbed Sehun’s hand, stroking the skin under the palm. “Why do you think I’m joking?”
If Junmyeon think it’s a joke or some careless words being thrown around— Sehun couldn’t bear that. He turned to Junmyeon. The elder had an old white shirt, his hair was sticking in different directions, and there was a pinkish patch under his chin. Sehun thought he had never seen someone as beautiful.
“You’re still so handsome in the morning,” Junmyeon muttered. Sehun blinked at him in wander.
“So that’s why you agree? Because I’m handsome?”
Grinning, Junmyeon made a show of eating his meal. “And you made delicious toast,” he said. “And you wash my clothes and tuck me to bed and say I’m your only one.”
Sehun groaned into his palm. Junmyeon would never let that go from now on.
“And because I love you,”
They were far from lovers; but they’re not friends either. What they had was so much bigger than what they could define—
— Sehun dreamt of a big, white house on the outskirts of LA; where the balcony overlooking the vast sea just like that holiday home they rented last year, a house with a pool outside and a big garden where chirpy, happy Vivi could have more space and freedom of running around the fresh grass without disturbance. And then there would be Junmyeon, white skinned despite living in LA, messy hair and flushed cheeks, cutting fruits at the kitchen-- wearing glasses that he only used when he's reading a book-- while occasionally feeds Sehun the fruits. Sehun would stand beside him, smile and lean down to be fed. They would talk about nothing and everything, and Junmyeon would laugh and Sehun would listen to that laugh. And maybe-- just maybe-- after a few more years, there would be one, or two children, shrieking and playing hide-and-seek among the furniture in the living room, making a mess out of it. Junmyeon would be exasperated and admonish the children to pick up their toys and the children would have the same pouts as Junmyeon and the same features as Sehun. He would sling an arm around Junmyeon's shoulders, kiss his cheek and remind him how he used to be just as messy, and Junmyeon would pinch him, and Sehun would laugh at his husband—
He dreamt of being happy. He dreamt of Junmyeon being happy, no matter what the cost.
“Me too,” Sehun said with a soft voice, picking up one of Junmyeon’s hands and pressed his lips over the skin of his ring finger. He thought about the small, black velvet box in his bedside drawer that he kept since a year ago; a careful and private purchase he had made in Paris. “I love you, Junmyeon.”
The sudden soft gasp, the slight panting, the subtle shivers; everything of it made his skin prickled with excitement and a heart bursting with happiness— his lips was numb with the feeling of thundering pulse. Thin fingers teasingly trailed from a hipbone over well-defined abs and purposely brushed a nipple, startling another gasp. He brushed his nose over wet cheek, tongue out as he licked along salty neck, lips never leaving skin until he found another pair of lips and swallow a moan there. His free hand gripped a thigh, stroked the pale skin there and pushed up— hard— and the other beneath him shuddered intensely. He shushed gently— whispering sweet nothings— as his other hand reached up and pushed a sweaty bang of black hair away from clammy forehead.
Sighing contentedly, Sehun gazed down at the sight under him, smiling and thought about how lucky he was. Junmyeon, with soft eyes and kissable cheeks, smiled back at him.
He dreamt of being happy, he dreamt of Junmyeon being happy, together, side by side.
And the thing was, he realized they already are.
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end
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