Chapter Text
Dazai ran as fast as his legs would take him, the ground felt weird under his feet, like he was running slanted but he was upright.
He was surrounded by trees, a forest? Why is he in a forest? He didn't recognise anything.
Noise up ahead had his mind frozen in fear as his legs come to a stop.
Suddenly he sees a short man up ahead, that red hair, he's seen him before, but who is he?
He's running again, this time towards the man, he's frantic to get to him, Dazai can hear the man screaming, laughing and, wait, what was he doing? Throwing...balls?
Dazai could of sworn the man just conjured a dark ball up from nothing.
The wind had picked up blowing the long coat back from his body, tree bark blew past his legs, rocks and all sorts drift past Dazai as he continues to run, his body focused on getting to the smaller man while his mind tried to explain what was happening around him.
What the hell?
The man was glowing, and if that wasn't strange enough he was floating a good foot off the ground.
Dazai's hand is reaching out for the man, he notices his eyes are completely white and wide with an empty nothingness that scares Dazai, he felt lost looking into them.
He's terrified but his body leans towards the man anyway, he can't stop himself from reaching out and touching the man's cheek, he can feel his cold skin against his fingers.
"Enough ...... you've done enough. Now rest." Dazai hears himself speak, though the man's name he cannot hear, his voice a tone he has not used before.
The wind dies down, things of the forest quieting down around him.
He watches as colour returns to the man's cheeks, recognition on the strangers face as he slowly focuses on Dazai, his white eyes suddenly turning, the shocking deep icy blue dominating, pulling Dazai into a river of frozen emotions he didn't understand nor want.
The man coughed lowering to the floor softly before speaking, his strained weak voice familiar yet so unknown.
"Thank you for bringing me back, Dazai."
Dazai sat upright in the bed, his heart frantic in his chest. He wipes the sweat from his head as he lay back down staring up at the ceiling, another dream had woken him, jolting him from his seemingly peaceful slumber.
Who was that dainty redhead? That foul mouthed violent little man, he was always in Dazai's dreams.
But this dream was different, it felt so real, and the angry man had needed him.
Dazai turns over, Oda was sleeping next to him, gentle snores leaving his lips. He could sit and watch the man sleep for hours, it bought him some comfort that this man wanted to spend his life with him. Dazai smiles, he's found a good one, his Oda. He saw the best in Dazai at all times.
They'd been together four years now and the man still managed to surprise him.
Oda stirs slightly. "You're watching me again, aren't you?" He mumbles groggily. His hand lazily comes up to his eyes to rub the sleep away as he yawns.
Dazai smirks. "Hope I didn't wake you with my excessive stares." Dazai says playfully, his eyes giving off a spark.
"No, not at all. Not sleeping well lately. Evidently neither are you. What's on your mind?" Oda sits up stretching his arms out above him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
Dazai smiles waving him off. "Just silly dreams. Although someone keeps appearing in them, I've never seen them before. Yet it feels like I know them." He sits himself up, reaching for the light on the night stand he flicks it on. "I talk to him, but I never hear myself say his name. Nothing comes out yet my mouth moves. Strange, huh, Odasaku?" He opens the nightstand grabbing a pen and an old letter waiting to be thrown away, sitting back straight in the bed he starts drawing on the back of it.
Oda looks over to him, curiosity clouding his brain as he leans over to inspect Dazai's doodles.
"A hat?"
"Yes. A hat. The fiery man in my dreams always wears a hat like this. Except he didn't have it on this time. It was strange."
"I think that's a pork pie hat." Oda replies.
"Oh. He seems to care dearly for it. I wonder where it was this time." He looks over the paper again before dropping it back to the night stand.
"So this dream man, do I have anything to worry about?" Now it was time for Oda to sound playful.
Dazai laughed, the sound genuinely warmed Oda's heart.
"Don't be so silly. You are real, and you have my heart. This dream person, they don't exist. And even if they did, I have you."
"You ole charmer, Dazai." Oda scooches back down in the bed fluffing his pillows before resting his head back on them.
Dazai turns the light back off as he shifts down, pulling the quilt up and over himself.
"Sleep, Odasaku."
"I will if you stop watching me."
Dazai smiles before turning over in the bed, he feels Oda move closer, his arm draping over Dazai's waist pulling him into a loose hug.
Dazai's smile slowly falters, his thoughts back on the short man.
Who are you? His mind ponders before sleep once again took him.
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Dazai awoke with warm sunshine on his face. The sweet smell of pancakes filling his nose as he breathes in, a stretch taking over his long frame.
He smiles pulling the covers back from his body as he slides himself off the bed making his way out of the bedroom.
Their apartment wasn't big by any means, but it was enough. Dazai walks through the hall to the kitchen, it was open planned, Oda had wanted lots of space in the kitchen.
The man was an amazing cook, always trying new recipes out, blowing Dazai's mind with the results.
Dazai smiles as his eyes land on Oda stood over a pan at the oven, his concentration on flipping the pancakes carefully. Dazai leans up against the counter, his smile widening when he notices Oda wearing the apron Dazai had got him, it was just a gimmick gift.
Oda wore it whenever he cooked to cheer Dazai up.
"Morning."
Oda's voice broke his daydream, looking up he meets the man's eyes.
"You should of woke me, I could of helped."
Oda rolls his eyes. "You're hardly a help in the kitchen, Dazai." He laughs at Dazai's shocked face. "You make more mess then necessary. Plus, you didn't sleep well. You deserved a lay in. Sit, breakfast is nearly ready."
He potters about arranging plates and various fruits in bowls setting them on the table as Dazai sits himself down pouring out a fresh coffee for him and Oda.
He places Oda's cup at his side of the table as the man joins him, two plates full of pancakes in his hands.
Setting them down he looks over at Dazai.
"Everything okay?" Concern furrowed his brow creasing his forehead slightly.
"You spoil me. Always. How did I find someone as good as you?"
Oda's expression softens as he smiles.
"We found each other. Now eat your food before it goes cold, I have to leave for work soon, will you be okay?" The frown between Oda's eye brows returned.
Dazai smiles softly. "I'll be fine Odasaku, you worry too much."
They ate in comfortable silence as Dazai let his mind wander back to the man from his dream. He tries hard to remember everything about him, and what happened in the dream.
He remembered the smaller man screaming and laughing like a maniac, but what was really strange was the balls he emitted from his body.
Oda talking pulls him from his daydream.
"Everything okay, Dazai? I have to leave now. I'll be back around four." He smiles down at Dazai as he kisses the top of his head, he lingered for a moment before pulling away.
"All is fine, Odasaku. Do not worry about me. It's just broken sleep. I'll see you later."
"Hmm, okay." Oda puts his dish in the sink before heading to the door, turning he smiles. "Love you."
"Eurgh, I love you too I guess." Dazai's smile was wide, his eyes shining as Oda gets his coat and opens the door, his smile as he closes it the last thing he leaves Dazai with for the day.
Dazai was in between jobs, shall we say. The man couldn't hold a position anywhere for more than a few months before they had to let him go.
He just seemed rather useless, not that Oda minded being the only worker in the household.
He had told Dazai many times he didn't need to work, that Oda would support them both, but Dazai didn't know what else to do with his time.
He kept the place tidy, when he could. Oda was pretty hot on keeping everything clean, come to think about it, Oda did everything.
Dazai frowns as he gets up clearing the rest of the table.
Maybe he could do something for Odasaku, he thought to himself.
But when he tried to think of something to do, he came up with nothing.
He decides to go out for a walk to clear his head, and hopefully an idea comes to him.
He dresses quickly deciding on faded jeans and a blue striped jumper.
As he leaves for the front door a small ginger cat jumps up on the small shoe rack.
"Hey Slug." Dazai coos at the cat as he meowed back.
When Dazai had first moved in Oda didn't have pets, he wasn't against them, he just never had any. But then a ginger kitten had appeared in the communal garden, and for Dazai it was instant love.
"Why do you have to name him Slug? It's horrible." Oda had said as Dazai announced the kittens new name.
"Because he had slugs stuck to his thick fur. And it suits him do you not think?" Had been Dazai's reply, the beaming smile on his face had Oda agreeing that it was indeed, the perfect name for the soggy cat he clung to.
So Slug moved in shortly after Dazai, it was like the pair had always been there.
"Odasaku has already fed you. Cheeky. Be back soon." He scratches the top of the cats head earning a soft purr before his hand retreats. He opens the door and heads out.
There was a slight breeze to the air, but it was otherwise nice, the sun shining brightly made everything appear so much nicer as he walked. They didn't live far from town and it wasn't long before Dazai found himself looking in a clothes shop window, his eyes lingering on a hat on a mannequins head.
"Pork pie hat..." he murmurs quietly, he can't stop himself from entering the shop, the door jingles as he opens it. Stepping inside he notes this isn't his usual shop, and he stuck out like a sore thumb.
"Hats, where are the hats?"
Dazai recognizes that voice, but where from? His brow furrows as he thinks, suddenly his eyes widen as he sees a small redhead reflected in a mirror across the store, he turns his eyes scanning the large area looking for the man.
His eyes suddenly land on someone but they were moving quick, Dazai caught a glance of the back of his head as he bounced up the stairs.
It couldn't be, Dazai says to himself, his heart racing. The man wasn't real, just someone he'd dreamt up.
Even so he couldn't stop himself from taking the stairs two at a time nearly stumbling up them, reaching the top his eyes graze over the store floor.
Finally seeing the mysterious man he casually walks over, he tries to act interested in the clothes as he sorts through some shirt jackets.
"Fuck. Why are there none I like?!" He hears the smaller man snort out, curiosity got the better of him as he turns to the man.
It was him.
The man he dreams about, standing here, in the same room. Dazai doesn't realise he's staring, the small man not appreciating the scrutiny from the lanky stranger.
"Sorry, I ah you sounded bothered." Dazai cusses himself internally for speaking, for even looking at the man, he should leave but he can't look away from those eyes.
"Yeah, well I am. What's it to you?" The man narrows his eyes at Dazai, his hands resting on his hips.
"I just thought maybe I could help..." Dazai let's his voice trail off, his mind screaming at him.
Go home go home go home go the fuck home!
"Eh? Okay. I want a hat, but all of these look arrogant, and I am not."
Dazai's eyes land on the hat similar to the one in the window, but even more similar to the one in his dream, his mouth ran dry as his throat tightens. His hand reaches up for the hat when he notices his shaking, he tries calming his nerves as he grabs it. Turning to face the man he smiles. "What about this? This looks like something that would suit you."
He looks away from the man's eyes as he took the hat plopping it on his head.
"Well, how do I look?"
Dazai looks back at the man, his heart felt like it was caught in a vice, if there was any doubt before that this was the man he was dreaming about, it sure as hell didn't exist now.
"Well shiiiit. You gonna answer me, or just stare?" His voice was slightly irritated as he glares up at Dazai.
"Oh sorry, it ah looks good." Dazai manages to say, a nervous smile on his lips.
The man turns looking in a mirror, he screws his nose up as he looks back to Dazai. "Really?"
"Yeah, I don't lie." Dazai replies quickly.
"Never said ya did Buddy. So what's the deal you wanna work at this place." He grins at Dazai. "Or do you just randomly give shoppers fashion advice?" He looks Dazai up and down, he would of put his money on the guy wanting to work here, instead of knowing about fashion.
"No, I... I don't know. I don't usually give advice." Dazai scratches at the back of his head awkwardly, he should leave now, this was too much.
"So tell me, you seeing anyone-"
"No." Dazai cut him off before he had a chance to finish. Oh look at that, he did lie.
"Ha, eager ain't we. Gimme your phone." He holds his hand out expectantly.
Dazai slips his hand in his pants pocket pulling his phone out and hands it to the man as he opens it and starts typing.
He hands it back after a moment as he takes the hat from his head.
"Thanks for the hat tips....?"
"Dazai, my name's Osamu Dazai."
"Well dazai, I'm Chuuya. I've got your number now, and you've got mine. I text myself from your phone." The small man replies matter of factually.
"Oh. Thank you."
"Don't do this often do you?"
Well no, Dazai thought to himself. He didn't make a habit of telling strange men he'd dreamt about that he was single, when in fact he was not.
"Is is that obvious?" He mumbles quietly.
Chuuya was intrigued by the man, his eyes studying his face, he was quite handsome, pretty even.
"Hey, you busy now? You wanna grab some coffee?"
No of course not I have a boyfriend, his head reminds him.
"Sure."
"Great, let me just pay for this, I'm getting it ya know because you said it looks good." He smiles up at Dazai, who's face flushed instantly.
Chuuya turns on his heel and makes his way to the counter, Dazai just watches him, still utterly dumbfounded that the man was real.
'Do I have anything to worry about?' Oda's voice ran through his mind leaving him feeling cold, and somewhat dirty. He shakes Oda from his head as he catches up to Chuuya who takes the hat from the cashier.
"No bag necessary, I'm wearing it now, cheers." He turns to Dazai smiling as he pops the hat back on his head, fuck it made Dazai's stomach flip. This was bad.
They hadn't ended up going for coffee, they did end up in a quiet bar however.
Chuuya liked to drink, Dazai observed as the man ordered another glass one wine.
"So tell me about yourself." Chuuya says as he sips at his drink.
Dazai shrugs awkwardly. "There's not much to tell, I have a cat." And a boyfriend of four years who I love very much so I'm not sure why we are even talking.
"A cat eh, what you call it."
"His name is Slug." Dazai's face reddens a bit, maybe it wasn't the best choice of names.
"Slug? How endearing." Chuuya replies slowly. "So that's it. Your names Dazai and you have a cat."
"I never said my life was interesting." Dazai says quietly, his hand clinging on to his drink.
"Don't get all pouty, life is what you make it. Plus, I think you're interesting."
"You do?" Dazai looks up catching the redheads eyes.
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't." His mouth came up in a lazy half smirk as he winked, it made Dazai feel weak at the knees, he was eternally grateful they were sat down.
"Thanks." Dazai mumbles quietly.
Chuuya suddenly slides closer along the sofa towards Dazai, their knees touching, his hand slipping along Dazai's thigh.
"Wanna get out of here?"
Dazai doesn't answer, his mouth is dry, unable to produce words, his lips parted but nothing comes out.
Chuuya twists round so they are face to face, his eyes locking with him.
"Tell me if I have this wrong, won't ya." His lips were so close to Dazai's, he couldn't think, he just wanted to feel it for real, just once.
"I lied." Dazai hears himself saying, unable to stop. "I have a boyfriend."
Chuuya instantly recoils back, his wide eyes judging Dazai, he goes to speak as Dazai stands, slipping between the table and wall uncomfortably whacking his knees several times as he squeezes past without another look at the smaller man.
He found the door and headed out quickly, a cab outside caught his attention, he walks to it fast climbing in he slams the door telling the driver where to go, missing the little redhead run out of the doors as the car pulls away.
Chuuya looks for him, his hand comes up to his head, assuring his hats safety as the wind blew hard, a frown on his face when he can't see the strange man.