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three bars, one city

Summary:

The Wayne kids join Twitter.
This is widely seen as a very bad move.

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Gotham Gazette @GothamGazetteOfficial

5 HOURS AGO

EXCLUSIVE: THE SECOND SON OF BRUCE WAYNE EXPLAINS HIS INCREDIBLE 'RISE FROM THE DEAD'

   → Ryan. @ProudGothamite241

       replying to Gotham Gazette

       omg??? he's alive??? since when???

   → timothy drake-wayne ✔ @therealtimdrake

       since five hours ago, apparently

   → Mrs Wayne ;) @topmebruce99

       hOLY FUCK TIM DRAKE JUST REPLIED TO YOU SDNFKSHDFKSHDFHSF

   → Ryan. @ProudGothamite241

       HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!


Jack Ryder  @rydernews07

5 HOURS AGO

So we're all supposed to believe that your son is magically "alive" now, @BruceWayne? despite the fact that he looks NOTHING like he did when he was young? #replacementchild #publicitystunt

  → Sandra @sandyihatstumblr

      replying to Jack Ryder

      Maybe he just, y'know, grew up?

   → Jesse @supermannedguy

       I could've sworn that kid died for real.

    → Mrs Wayne ;) @topmebruce99

       There were reports of a funeral and Comm. Gordon tweeted some pretty cryptic shit but nothing was confirmed

    → Jesse @supermannedguy

       Typical for the Waynes. Wonder if there'll be a press conference or joint statement from them issued later


Damian Wayne ✔  @ilikepets547

3 HOURS AGO

Yes, for all those asking. Jason Todd is real, and we are related.

    → Damian Wayne ✔ @ilikepets547

        replying to Damian Wayne

        Now that is out of the way, we can resume the usual programming of cat updates.

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

        holy shit, dami. you really live like this?

     → Damian Wayne ✔ @ilikepets547

        Get verified before you address me in public, worm.


 GOTHAM CELEBS DAILY @GoCelebNews247

2 HOURS AGO

IS THERE BEEF BETWEEN THE WAYNE BROTHERS?? CELEB DAILY INVESTIGATES...


 Dick ✔  @flyinggrayson

2 HOURS AGO

I swear to God. You've been on Twitter an hour, @jtoddled.

    → just ur average stan @superwhobat55

        replying to Dick

        OMGMGENGESDFNSKDF THEY'RE INTERACTING I CAN'T SLDFKSJFDS


 JASON TODD  @jtoddled

 2 HOURS AGO

@flyinggrayson: it's not my fucking fault his username is @ilikepets547!

     → Dick ✔ @flyinggrason

        replying to JASON TODD

        He's thirteen!

     → CCW ✔ @waynecasscain

       And he likes pets!

     → Duke Thomas ✔ @iamtheduke

        547!

     → Duke Thomas ✔ @iamtheduke

        Sorry. Not sure why I put that now.

     → JASON TODD  @jtoddled

         s'okay, d. i'm not sure why you did either


 JASON TODD  @jtoddled

1 HOUR AGO

Wow. I hit 750k followers. Thanks for that. But please stop sending me pictures of oatmeal.

 → Steph! ✔ @stephaniebbrown

        replying to JASON TODD

        do you know anything about pr? like, at all?

 → jason todd stan @thesecondwaynebrother

        YYyyeysss oatmeal kINGGGG


timothy drake-wayne ✔  @therealtimdrake

1 HOUR AGO

just got two texts from jason. one of them's asking me how to get verified.

   → timothy drake-wayne ✔ @therealtimdrake

       replying to timothy drake-wayne

       the other's asking me to explain the oatmeal.


 JASON TODD  @jtoddled

45 MINUTES AGO

OK SO STEPH JUST INFORMED ME THAT THE OATMEAL THING

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       replying to JASON TODD

       IS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE WHITE STRIPE IN MY HAIR

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       IS OATMEAL COLORED??

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       BUT IT'S NOT??

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       IT'S CLEARLY WHITE????????


 

Bruce Wayne. ✔  @BruceWayne

10 MINUTES AGO

@jtoddled Jason. I assumed the purpose of this account was to promote your business endeavours. Not start discussions about oatmeal. I take it I assumed wrong? 

     → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       Hi, you have reached the office of Jason Todd Enterprises INC. He is not available for contact right now, but you can try leaving a message after the tone.

      → Bruce Wayne. ✔ @BruceWayne

       Jason. 

       → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       BLEEEP!

       → Bruce Wayne. ✔ @BruceWayne

       Jason, please. I have 25 million followers.

       → JASON TODD @jtoddled

       more's the pity for you, old man. more's the pity for you.