Chapter Text
Her eyes flutter open taking in her surroundings. Her hand immediately goes to the swell of her belly. She can’t be sure it doesn’t feel like she’s pregnant. Looking over to her nightstand she sees the pregnancy test and the pamphlets from the doctor. She sighs comforted in the fact that she is indeed with child. It wasn’t a dream. She still can’t believe that she could be pregnant at her age and with all of the fertility issues she has had. This is truly a miracle, her and Matt’s miracle. ‘Matt!’ Sigh!
He is her miracle too. She never thought when she walked onto the set of Who three years ago that she would fall in love with the shows star. He was so young. She never gave it a possibility …..until she looked into his eyes that first day and fell immediately for him. Of course she would never act on those feelings. She couldn’t have survived his rejection and of course he would reject her. Why would he be interested in someone nearly twenty years older than him?
She instead chose to be his friend and his mentor. It was both wonderful and torture at the same time. Everyday they grew closer depending on each other for both emotional support and physical closeness. Ok, maybe it was just her needing the physical closeness (or not). It was common knowledge that Matt had no boundary of personal space. He would easily hug a stranger as well as a friend and she couldn’t resist his full body hugs. He was always touching when he talked or standing too close and his shoulder rubs were legendary on set.
Alex delighted in whenever their skin came in contact causing her heart to race a bit more. While they were at read-throughs he would lean into her or touch her hand. Surely he had to notice the gasp that emitted from her. He never said anything about it. Each day he would bring her tea and their fingers would linger as he passed it to her. Their eyes would lock for seconds at a time but they would say nothing. Whenever they went out with their friends Karen and Arthur, Matt always sat next to Alex or Alex sat next to him. It was unspoken but expected.
Things might have continued like that forever it if it wasn’t for that fateful night in Utah a year ago. Coming to America shook things up for the actors and the crew. They didn’t have the familiarity of Cardiff or even London. This was an epic vista that had been the sight for classic movies such as Indiana Jones and Forest Gump. That alone heightened the senses making everyone feel the importance of these episodes being shot here. Normal routines had to make way for new ones.
Alex hadn’t realized that she was doing anything differently but Matt did. Oh yes, Matt did. They had gone to a local pub on their first night there. Karen had insisted that they needed to experience local culture so that is how they ended up in a honky tonk dive bar with little more than bar stools and a faded dart board. After several pints there was the obligatory dart game. Alex had insisted that instead of the usual girls versus boys that she was teaming up with Matt, leaving Karen to team up with Arthur.
With each dart (and each drink) Alex’s touches on Matt increased. He didn’t seem to mind returning her touches with his own. By the end of the game they were practically groping each other. It wasn’t until about ten minutes after the game was over that they looked around to discover that Arthur and Karen had left. A bit embarrassed they headed back to their hotel Matt’s arm around her shoulder and hers around his waist. For anyone who knew them they would not have thought it unusual.
When they stopped in front of her room, Matt leaned against the wall staring longingly at her. She rested her head against the door, her hand rubbing up and down his chest. He reached out pulling on her curls. This was a familiar gesture. His hands were always in her hair. This time however he reached through her curls pulling her head towards his as he bent down taking her lips in his.
Her mind exploded! She had thought about this for so long and had to be content with their on screen kisses but this was him and her and no one else. She leaned into him her arms sliding up his chest and around his neck. Pulling him tighter to her she played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Their lips never stopped tasting each other, their tongues exploring one another. His hands began to roam her body taking in her curves. Her hips began to grind into his pelvis and she grinned with his obvious reaction to her.
She pulls him into her room. It doesn’t take them long before they have shed each others clothes showing each other again, and again how much they desire the other. They woke the next morning entangled in one another a loud pounding echoing in the room. “Oi! Alex, are you in there? The van is ready to leave!”
They both sit bolt upright staring at the door and then at each other. She rushes to the door talking through it to Karen on the other side. “Oh Karen, thank you for waking me. I overslept. I’ll have to take the next van out.”
“Are you sure? You’ll be late for hair and makeup.”
Looking over to Matt, she smiles. “I’m sure. It can’t be helped. Please give them my apologies.”
With that Karen says ok and presumably heads to the van without her. She crawls back into the bed wrapping herself around Matt. He is so warm.
“So? I suppose we need to get going or we’re going to miss the next van too.” He says, his arms around her, brushing her nose with his.
“I suppose so.” She says quietly, her head tucks under his chin.
“Hey Alex, look at me.” He coaxes. She looks up at him waiting for him to shatter her dream. She had her night with him. She can’t expect for more than that.
His fingers lace through her hair as his eyes look softly upon her. “I know we have a lot to talk about. This…” He gestures between them. “was so unexpected but don’t think for one moment that this isn’t something I wanted…..do want.”
“What are you saying?” Her heart full of hope betrayed by her eyes full of hurt.
“I’m saying I don’t want this to be a one time thing. I’m saying I want to…….I guess the right word would be to date you.” He’s put his heart out there for her. He can only hope she doesn’t crush it.
“You….you want to date me?” She looks at him with wide eyes sure she misunderstood.
“Yes, yes I do.” He runs his finger down her nose, his other arm around her waist caressing the top of her arse.
She lowers her eyes from his. “You mean you want to have sex with me?”
“Well…..yes….both! Can’t we do both?” His fingertip lifts her chin so he can see in her eyes once more.
He can see the disbelief in her eyes. She has been hurt by so many; it is so hard for her to trust. “Alex, we have been good friends for nearly two years now. We enjoy doing things together, we have the same weird sense of humor, and we have both been flirting with each other hoping one day we would end up here.” He indicates the bed. “I lo..like you….possibly more than like and I think you like me as well. I don’t want us to just be friends anymore. I want more with you ……and I think (if you admit it) you want more too.”
Her eyes pierce through him trying to see into the future, to not make another foolish mistake. But there are no visions, no guarantees; she must take a leap of faith. She smiles and leans into him kissing his lips. “Yes.” It is almost a whisper against his lips.
“Yes?” He pulls back to look at her.
She nods almost shyly at him. “Yes.” A grin takes over his face as he gathers her into his arms turning her on her back kissing her languidly. Pushing him gently, “Darling, as much as I would love to do nothing else but stay in this bed all day with you we both have a job to do….and we are already late.”
His forehead falls to her chest. “Agghhh! You’re right………but when we get back we are not leaving this room.” He kisses her again.
“You’ll get no objections from me, darling.” She kisses him pulling him from the bed. “Come on…. shower.” He looks immediately delighted. “We’re late remember!”
“Kingston, must you take all of the fun out of it?” He pouts.
She saunters to the bathroom sans anything looking over her shoulder to him. “Not all of the fun, darling.” She purrs. He practically leaps off the bed to join her in the shower.
It doesn’t take Karen and Arthur long to see the difference in how they are with each other. They confront them before they even leave Utah. Matt and Alex are relieved to share their news with their close friends. They decide they should let Steven know when they are back in Cardiff. It’s another six months before they tell their families. That was over a year ago.
They never worried about protection. Why would they? They were exclusive and she couldn’t get pregnant (so she thought). So it was another impossible day when she went to the doctor because she wasn’t feeling well only to be told she was six weeks pregnant. She was in London at the time going to auditions; he was in Cardiff filming Who. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to tell him but not on the phone – no she wanted to see his face. Skype wouldn’t be enough either – it had to be in person. She made arrangements to take the train to Cardiff, having Owen, the Who driver, pick her up to take her to the flats where they all lived.
Through Steven she learned that Matt should be done filming between 8 and 9 that night. Before dropping her off she had Owen stop by Tesco so she could pick up a few groceries. Letting herself into his flat she quickly stowed the groceries and put her suitcase in the bedroom. The trip had been exhausting and she laid down for a quick nap. Waking two hours later she began to panic. She wanted everything to be ready before he came home.
Racing around the kitchen she was able to assemble the meal, toss the salad, and set the table. She had picked up sparkling water instead of wine; now she worried that he would know immediately. Before she had much time to consider this she heard his key in the door. Opening the door he paused realizing something was different. He smelled beef, potatoes, onions and there was a candle on the little dining table. His eyes light up at the possibility. “Alex?” Emerging from the kitchen in an apron she says, “Welcome home darling!”
Within two strides he is across the flat taking her into his arms. His lips on hers and hers on his. Their bodies mold together as if one. She has always been amazed how perfectly they fit together like he was made just for her and she was made just for him. Of course the coming months might change that and suddenly she is quite nervous to share her news.
He leans back drinking in the sight of her. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?”
“Well, it wouldn’t have been much of a surprise if I did!” She gave him a flirty look.
He pulls her closer. “It is a fantastic surprise!” Kissing her soundly. Leaning back, “Now what are those glorious smells I smell? Cause there hasn’t been the scent of anything but take away in here since you left.” She laughs and swats his chest.
“You know darling, I really should teach you how to cook one day.” She saunters into the kitchen.
“Why? I could never cook as well as you do anyways.” He compliments her as he follows closely behind.
Alex serves up the dinner of beef roast, potatoes, and carrots with a thin gravy on the side. Matt seems a bit surprised by the sparkling water instead of wine but she waves it off by saying she is taking medication. After dinner they move to the sofa where he begins working on his dessert – Alex. As much as she is enjoying his kisses as they work their way down her neck she stops him. “What Alex? Did I do something wrong?” His hurt expression nearly persuades her to wait to talk later but no she needs to tell him now.
“No darling, you didn’t do anything wrong. You in fact did something very, very right. Something that I thought was impossible.” He looks at her with no idea of what she is talking about. She looks happy though so he waits for her to tell him. “Matt you have made me the happiest woman on the planet this past year.” He smiles at that. “We were both idiots for so long loving each other but afraid to act on it. I am so glad that we finally told each other how we felt, and….” She pulls him closer. “I am so glad that we enjoy being with each other as much as we do.” She kisses him, a slow chaste kiss. “Everything that has happened this past year has convinced me that we were always supposed to be together. That we were meant for each other.”
He chuckles. “Alex, are you asking me to marry you?” She blushes.
“No, but……..” She breaks their gaze, taking her tongue between her lip as she does when she is nervous.
He tips her head back up so that he can see her face, a serious look overtaking his own. “Alex, what are you trying to tell me?”
She hesitates before blurting out. “I am trying to tell you that you are about to become a father!”
If she had hit him with a cricket bat he wouldn’t have been more stunned. “A father? Alex, how am I about to become a father?” He looked at her incredulously.
“Well when two people love each other very, very much ……..” His eyes widen.
“You mean…. you’re? How?” She looks at him beaming.
“I guess you’re just that incredible! You have accomplished what IVF and thousands of dollars could not.”
“So you’re really pregnant?” He looks in her eyes for confirmation. “We’re having a baby?” She smiles again and nods her head gently. He scoops her up in his arms, tears streaming down his face dripping on her hair. He hears a gently giggle from her.
Pulling back he is a sight, tears streaming down his face, a grin broader than the Earth itself, and his eyes are dancing with joy. A little embarrassed by the tears he quickly brushes them away mumbling something like “humany wumany”.
She holds on to him as he slowly begins to process this new life revelation. Her heart is so full that he is happy about this. She couldn’t be sure. Of course they didn’t plan it, didn’t even think it was a possibility to plan for. They hadn’t much discussed children. The thought that she couldn’t give him a family always made her so sad she didn’t bring it up. He knew her medical issues trying to get pregnant with Salome. He knew that being with Alex meant giving up on their having children of their own. She was worth it. He never brought it up either.
Now as they hold each other they need to make plans for the future, their future, and their baby.
After several minutes he lessens his hold on her to look in her eyes. “Is it safe Alex?”
“What do you mean? Is what safe?” She looks at him with confusion on her face.
He pulls back further taking her hand in his while his other settles on her abdomen. “Will it be safe for you to carry a child?” He looks so scared as he asks.
“Matt!” She reaches out to him cupping his face making him look at her. “There are no guarantees. The doctor seems to feel with proper monitoring that things should be fine but my history of miscarriages is concerning.”
“But is it safe for you Alex? I would be so thrilled to have a baby with you but not if I lost you.” His eyes glisten with tears of joy and fear.
“Darling it is as safe for me as would be for any other forty-eight year old woman. I know that this will be a high risk pregnancy that is why my doctor suggested a specialist.”
“When’s your appointment?” His voice is tight.
“I haven’t made one yet. I wanted to tell you first.” She caresses his cheek trying to reassure him that it will be alright even when she has no idea herself.
“I’m coming with you.” His tone is commanding.
“Matt that’s silly. You need to be on set. You don’t need to come with me.”
“I’m coming Alex.” His eyes pierce her soul and she knows this is important to him not him being polite or honorable.
“Ok, we can make the appointment together so we can work around filming.”
A large breathe leaves him, “Thank you Alex”, as he folds her into his arms. “Alex?”
“Yes?”
He whispers into her ear. “We’re going to have a baby!” She smiles.
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Her doctor had given her names of specialists in London and Cardiff. They agreed it made most sense to see a doctor in Cardiff since that is where Matt will be for the next 7 months. They were able to make an appointment for the day after tomorrow. Until then she wanted to bask in the joy of impending parenthood without all of the harsh realities that was sure to come.
Matt was so innocent in this process but she has had far more experience much of it ending in heartbreak. Getting pregnant was a miracle. Matt was a miracle. Maybe they could have one more miracle…a baby.
They had agreed they wouldn’t tell anyone until they had spoken to the doctor. Matt was having a terrible time keeping it inside. Karen was suspicious. She knew something was up. Matt was even more bouncy than usual. His smile alone could have lit up all of London. She decided it was her duty to find out. Sauntering up to him at the tea trolley she caught him off guard. “So Matt what’s got you so lit up today?” He whirled around forgetting about the tea in his hand spraying it all over Karen. She stood there shocked as the tea soaked into her costume and her hair. “Oh my god Smithers! Can’t you ever control those limbs?” She pulled the shirt away from her skin as she made her way to the costumes department. Over her shoulder she yelled, “Oi! Stupid Face! You owe me!” He knew he did; he was just a bit concerned as to what she would exact as payment.
This didn’t seem to be the end of his misfortunes for the day. He kept forgetting his lines by getting sidetracked thinking about them becoming a family. His mind kept creating moments in the future that he would be having with Alex and his child. He was so distracted that he managed to fall over three cables, knock over a light box, and disengage two levers from the TARDIS console. Basically the crew were ready to kill him. They were all relieved when filming was over for the day.
Matt couldn’t wait to get home to Alex. ‘Get home to Alex.’ He loved the sound of that. Bounding up the stairs his heart raced in his chest as he turned the key in the lock. He heard her first humming a tune. It was coming from the kitchen where there was also fantastic smells coming as well. He stood there taking in the sight of her immersed in the joy of cooking. He snuck behind her wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Oh Matt!” She turns around and swats his chest. “I didn’t hear you come in. What are you doing home so early? I thought you were filming for another hour or so.”
“Well I think they thought it was safer for all involved if we gave up for the day.” She looks at him with a questioning stare. “I may have been a teeny bit distracted today.”
“Oh no, what happened?” He relayed to her his day starting with Karen, the ridiculous amount of takes for every scene, and then the equipment issues. “Oh, I would say it was probably best for all involved to get you out of there.”
“The bonus is I got to come home to you…earlier.” He leans down capturing his lips with hers letting her know how glad he is to be home. She shoos him out of the kitchen making him sit on the couch with the remote in his hand “where you’ll be safe, darling.”
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Their appointment for the doctor is early in the morning since he needs to be on set by noon. He sits while she fills out page after page of medical history. He tries looking through the magazines but they seem to be all geared toward woman. “You’d think that they would have a least one magazine here that a man would read. Surely I can’t be the first bloke to come in here.” She snickers at him as she completes the forms.
The appointment goes pretty much the way Alex had outlined for him. They took blood, checked her blood pressure, and heart readings. Then it was time for the exam. For the actual exam he stepped out of the room waiting in the hallway. When he was let back in the doctor was getting ready to perform an ultrasound. At two months that required an internal probe. His face scrunched up as he saw what the doctor had in his hand.
He held her hand as the doctor inserted the device then pointed to a tiny blob on the screen announcing it as their baby. Now he was no expert but that didn’t look anything like a baby to him. Then the doctor turned on the sound and the echo of the baby’s heartbeat reverberated in the room. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat. It sounds strong.” His grip on her hand became tighter.
She looked up to see him transfixed by the screen and tears rolling down his cheeks. She couldn’t help letting out a giggle. He looked at her a little embarrassed. “Sorry, I was going to be so cool!”
“Crying while listening to your baby is definitely cool!” He leaned down and kissed her.
After the exam, the doctor spoke to them in her office detailing all the possible risks, the precautions Alex would need to follow, and things for them to look out for. For now Alex’s appointments would be once per month but they should expect them to become more frequent the closer to the due date. “What is the due date doctor?” Matt speaks up.
“It looks like you will be expecting a new addition to your life about June 18th. Although since this is a high risk pregnancy, the possibility of that being earlier is greater.” He reaches over to grab her hand. The doctor hadn’t told them anything they hadn’t expected, well at least anything that Alex hadn’t expected. The doctor seemed optimistic that Alex would be able to carry to term but caution them both that there would be complications along the way.
After their appointment he drove her back to his flat before heading to the studio. Kissing him good-bye she says, “Please darling take it easy on the equipment today. I don’t want the crew to lynch you. I…we”, She places her hand on her belly. “need you.”
He kisses her more fiercely. “For you” he places his hand over hers on her belly. “and you I can do anything.” She kisses him one more time before leaving the car and heading up to his flat. He keeps his word. Somehow he is able to keep his focus for the rest of the day and no equipment or props (not to mention co-stars) were damaged in his wake.
That night he talks to her about telling people. This is difficult for a number of reasons. Only their close friends and family even know there dating. So far it hasn’t been made public and they were rather enjoying their privacy. Of course as he points out the baby isn’t a secret that they will be able to hide for long.
For now she agrees they need to tell Steven since he will need to adjust some things to either move up the taping of her episodes or write her out of them. He also reasons that they had better tell Karen and Arthur or they will never hear the end of it. Besides he thinks it might help if they have someone else to talk about this with.
With their plan in place he walks her back to their bed where he carefully makes love to her. They continue to caress and touch for long after as they talk about the possibilities of their future. “I love you Alex”. He places a passionate kiss on her lips.
“and I love you Matt with all my heart.” He holds her tight as they fall asleep.
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The next day she accompanies Matt to the studio. They keep an eye out for their Scottish boss as they have big news to share. Alex and Matt are chatting with several crew members when Steven comes up behind them. “Why Ms. Kingston, I didn’t know I would be seeing you today.” He says brightly.
“Hi there Steven.” She says as she turns and gives him a hug.
“Hey Steven, could we talk with you a bit?” Matt inquires, a bit nervously Steven notices.
“Um, yeah, sure. Is now good?”
“Yeah, sure. Your office?” Steven nods, more than curious as they follow him up to his office. Steven sits behind his desk as Matt and Alex settle into the chairs across from him.
“So Matt what’s going on?” He has been studying Matt and then Alex for clues to this conversation. He smiles cause he thinks he knows what this is about……..he is so wrong!
Matt’s looking quite nervous. He’s not really sure how Steven will take this news. It will mean they will need to publically acknowledge their relationship and that will definitely impact Who. Plus Alex will probably not be working for much of this season which will most likely impact his plans as well. “So…well Steven…..Alex and I have some news.”
Steven takes in their faces. They look like they are desperately trying to suppress a grin and he surmises what is going on. He interrupts, “So is this you telling me that you are making the lovely Ms. Kingston your wife for real?” He smiles thinking he has uncovered their spoiler.
“Um…uh…what? I mean possibly….no more like probably but we haven’t discussed that yet. I mean I’m sure we will.” He looks over to Alex. “Won’t we?”
She takes pity on him putting his hand into hers. “I’m sure we will darling but not right now.” He nods grinning nervously. She looks back towards Steven. “What Matt is so eloquently trying to say is this is not an engagement announcement.”
Steven leans forward on his desk, “So what is this about then?”
Rubbing her hands over each other in her lap she bites her bottom lip before looking Steven in the eye. “This is about something that neither of us ever thought would be a possibility and were a bit overwhelmed at the moment and a bit giddy and………..well; we’re having a baby!”
You could have knocked Steven over with a feather. He had not even entertained that as a possible outcome of this conversation. He looked over to Matt who was now beaming and looking straight at Alex. Gathering himself together he gave out a “Whoop!” and came around the desk to shake Matt’s hand and fold Alex into a hug.
“I am ecstatic for you two…well I suppose three now!” They all laughed at that. “Oh so this is going to mean a bit of a change of plans I suppose.” They can see the wheels in his head spinning with new or different outcomes to the stories ahead.
“Yes, we thought it might. You’re actually the first person we’ve told.” Matt’s voice is sounding a little stronger than earlier.
“Really? The first? Wow, I’m flattered. You might not want to mention that to your mum though.” He pokes his chest. They laugh.
“Absolutely!” Matt looks a bit stricken realizing that his mum might never forgive him when she realizes she wasn’t the first person to find out.
“So before I start making plans, how do you guys want to handle this?” Steven asks shifting back into business mode.
“Well I should be able to film for another couple months but most likely not beyond that.” Alex tells him.
“But no stunts! And high wires! And running! And high heels!” Matt interjects and Alex glares at him
Steven laughs at him, “So should we put River in a rocking chair then or would that be too dangerous?”
“No, but Steven…” He moves closer to Alex putting one arm around her shoulder and the other around her belly. “Alex and this baby are the most important things in my life and I would protect them with everything I have.” She leans into him kissing his cheek.
“I understand Matt, absolutely. It goes without saying that the health of Alex and your baby comes before anything else.” Looking to Alex, “What does your doctor say?”
“Well she acknowledges that this is a high-risk pregnancy both because of my age and my past history with miscarriages. At this point in time there isn’t anything indicating we can’t have a happy, healthy baby.”
“Ok, well let me look over what we have planned and see what we need to rework. We may need to move around some filming to be sure to get your scenes done while we can. So why don’t you two go spread the happy news while I do just that.” He turns to head back around his desk.
Matt speaks hesitantly. “Um, actually Steven…..we were kinda hoping you’d keep this to yourself for right now.”
Turning back to face them, “So your not announcing this?”
It’s Alex who answers. “Not just yet Steven. There are still too many things that could go wrong. We’re not ready for people to know yet. We agreed to wait until after the first trimester to tell our families. As far as publically…..” She looks over to Matt. “we’re just not ready for that yet.”
“or ever!” Matt adds.
“I understand. I do, just be careful. You don’t want this story coming out some other way.”
“Yes, we understand the risks. It’s just….” He looks over to her. “we’re still getting used to all of this ourselves.” Steven nods in understanding.
“Just let me know if there is anything you need me to do.”
“Thank you Steven. Really, it means so much to us to have your support.” Alex leans over kissing his cheek.
As they exit his office hand in hand Matt let’s out a sigh of relief. “That went better than I thought it would.”
“Why did you think Steven wouldn’t be happy for us?”
“No, I knew he would. I just thought he might not be too happy that I knocked up River Song!” They both laugh heartily as they walk towards hair and makeup. Alex didn’t need to be on set today but since she was here she might as well say hi to everyone.
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They meet up with Karen in hair and make-up. Karen teases her about having to bring the ‘husband’ to work. After more good natured banter Alex invites her and Arthur to Matt’s place for dinner tonight. Always up to a Team TARDIS gathering she readily accepts, and adds “stupid face will be there too. It’s not like he’s got anything else to do.”
Catching up with Matt as he exits costuming, she kisses him goodbye before heading back to their flats. Letting him know about their dinner plans, she needs to stop at Tesco, and prepare dinner for tonight.
She hears his key in the lock as she is checking on the lasagna. The wonderful smells of a home cooked meal fill his nostrils as he enters his flat. “God Kingston, you are so spoiling me with all of this glorious food.” He comes up behind her wrapping his arms around her. “If I wasn’t already in love with you…..” The rest of what he was going to say is lost as he nuzzles her from behind leaving light kisses against her throat.
“Darling, don’t start something you can’t finish.” She teases.
“Oh, I have every intention of finishing!” He turns her in his arms capturing her lips in his deepening the kiss immediately. Sometimes it takes him by surprise how much he desires her, it’s like an overwhelming need that only she can satisfy.
Pressing her hands into his chest she parts from him. “Darling, I think you have forgotten we have guests coming.” He freezes then drops his head against her shoulder.
“Can’t we just send them away?” He whines.
She giggles at him. “Matthew, that would be rude and besides we invited them. You do remember why, don’t you?”
He straightens up looking in her eyes for a moment before they descend to her belly where he places his hand. “How could I forget?” His face lights up with delight. Just as he leans in for another kiss there is a knock on the door. “Ugghh! Kaz has the worst timing!”
She smiles at him as she points him in the direction of the door while she continues to work on dinner.
Karen and Arthur arrive together each carrying two bottles of wine. Alex worries how she will explain her not drinking before they tell their friends their news. Seated around the small table they enjoy each others company as well as Alex’s delicious cooking. They didn’t seem to question her taking medication as to why she wasn’t drinking tonight.
After dinner they moved to the lounge where Matt sat on the arm of the sofa next to Alex. He seemed particularly nervous and couldn’t get his legs to stop moving. “So Smithers what’s got you so jumpy over there?” He didn’t answer only looked down at Alex giving her a smile.
“Well isn’t it obvious Kaz?” She looks over to Arthur with confusion on her face. “They invited us here for dinner…..not just drinking and hanging out. They have something big to tell us or should I say ask us?”
“What?” Now Matt was confused.
Arthur sat up straight in his chair and puffed out his chest. “Well Matthew…” He said in his best stuffy voice. “If you want to marry our daughter I think it is only proper that you ask her father for her hand in marriage.”
Karen whipped her head from Arthur to Matt and Alex. “Is this what this is? You guys are getting married?” Karen was trying to suppress her glee, badly.
“Um…no…uh” He leans down whispering into Alex’s ear. “We really need to talk about that subject later.”
Alex looks a bit stricken at the thought but hides it well. Taking charge of the situation she looks over to Karen and Arthur. “Um we did ask you here to tell you something but it has nothing to do with marriage.” She looks sideways at Matt.
“Then what? Come on out with it!” Her Scottish patience was wearing thin.
“Um well…..mum, dad ….your going to be grandparents!” She decided to try for a light hearted approach to the announcement.
“Wha-at?!?” Sputtered Arthur and Karen together.
Matt took Alex’s hand in his looking at her with such love in his eyes. “Alex is going to have a baby….we’re going to have a baby!” He can barely contain his excitement.
“Oh my god, oh my god!” Karen jumps to her feet. “Really?” Alex nods and stands as Karen approaches her hugging her profusely. “Oh my god, I can’t believe this!”
“You can’t? You should have seen my face when the doctor told me! Who would have thought at my age and with my fertility issues that I would get pregnant?”
Coming behind her, Matt wraps his arms around her his hands cradled across her stomach. “Our miracle!” He nuzzles his head into her curls as he beams to his friends about their news. Arthur shakes Matt’s hand in congratulations and hugs Alex kissing her on her cheek.
Quickly Karen and Alex start talking about shopping for baby stuff and possible names for the little tyke leaving Matt and Arthur to move onto the balcony unnoticed. Arthur immediately lights up a fag looking out over the parking lot of their flat complex. He turns to Matt. “Wow, a baby!”
Rubbing his hand around the back of his neck he looks over to Arthur, “Yeah….”
“So how you really doing with all of this?” He asks as he blows smoke rings into the air.
“Well surprisingly ok. I mean it was a shock, not something either of us had even thought was a possibility, you know?” Arthur nods. Matt comes over to where Arthur is leaning against the balcony railing. He leans down resting his arms on the railing as he looks out at the horizon. “I mean I always had thought that one day I would be a father but then I fell in love with Alex. It was one of the reasons she didn’t want to get involved with me. It killed her that she couldn’t give me a child. It saddened me that we wouldn’t be parents together but Salome is a great kid and I love her to pieces. I accepted long ago that she would be the only child Alex and I would have. This….this is ….a miracle.”
Arthur turns patting his friend on the back. “That it is my friend. Now I don’t want to seem insensitive but is it safe for Alex to have a baby at her age?”
Matt rested his chin in his hands. “I know. I’m worried about the same thing. As much as I would love for Alex and I to have a baby – not if it puts her at risk. I…I can’t lose her.”
Arthur puts his fag out in the bucket of sand Matt keeps there for him and Karen’s habit. He leans on the railing looking over to his friend. “But is it safe for her?”
“I went to the doctor with her. I didn’t trust her to tell me the truth if it wasn’t. She was so over the moon when she told me. The doctor thinks that everything will be fine but because of her age and her previous miscarriages she will monitor her closely.”
Arthur turns to watch the sun as it slips below the horizon. “Well that’s good.”
“Yeah, I hope that the doctor is right. As much as want a baby….not if it takes Alex from me.”
“So since I’ve already ventured into delicate territory………are you two getting married?”
Matt smiles over to Arthur. “You do know that you aren’t her real father don’t you?”
“True, but her real father isn’t here right now so I’ll have to do.” He stands up straighter giving Matt a disapproving stare.
“Down there Daddy Pond. This has all happened so fast we haven’t discussed that subject yet. Of course I want to marry Alex. I’ve wanted that for a long time but she has never seemed ready for that step before. She’s been married twice and I think the fact that neither of them ended well has soured her on the prospect of marriage.”
“Maybe having a baby together……”
Matt nods at him. “Yeah, I’m hoping.”
Arthur slaps him on the shoulder. “Well good luck with that!” Matt laughs with him. He knew that marriage wasn’t something she was anxious to do again but he hopes she will see things his way now that they are becoming a family.
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As they snuggle into bed that night he considers bringing up the idea of marriage with her. She has different ideas. “Well Karen and Arthur seemed happy for us.”
“Yes, they did. Um, Alex I was thinking….” He looks over to her, her eyes shut, her breathing already slowing to sleeping rhythm. He leans over kissing her lips gently. “I love you Alex.” He wraps his arms around her pulling her back to his chest his chin rests against her curls. Soon he is fast asleep dreaming about the future with his family.
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It took almost two weeks before he was able to find the right time to talk with Alex about the subject of marriage. There just didn’t seem to be the right time to bring it up. Finally they had a few days off. They had gone in for her checkup and everything was going well, although tired Alex had been feeling well. When they came back she talked him into taking a nap with her. Not needing as much rest as her, he laid there watching her sleep after he woke. ‘God, she is so beautiful and she is carrying my child, our child.’ He couldn’t help the smile on his face.
He was stroking her arm when she woke turning to look over at him. “Hey there.”
“Hey there yourself sleepyhead.” He leaned over kissing her gently. He pulled back just looking at her, his fingers gently tugging on her curls. She smiled. He was always touching her hair when he was near, especially when he had something on his mind.
“What are you thinking about darling?” She reached up resting the back of her hand against his cheek.
“Marry me?”
“What??”
“Marry me Kingston? Make me the happiest man in the world.” He hadn’t planned on just blurting it out. The plan was to ease her into the idea, talk about the idea of marriage. But she looked so beautiful, and all he could think about was that this was his family and he wanted them with him always.
“Um….uh…um….”
“I know the idea of marriage scares you but I’m not them. I would never be them. I will always take care of you….and our child….and Salome. Always Alex. I love you so much and I want this….for us. I want us to be family….you, me, Salome, and this baby.”
She sits up looking down at him. ‘God he looks so happy right now. I love him with all my heart but marriage, again?’ “Matt, I…I…don’t know what to say.”
“Say yes…”
“I…I…don’t know that I can.” He would like to have said that he wasn’t surprised at her reaction but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt.
“Alex…” He reached up for her tugging on a curl, caressing her cheek before his hand slid down her arm entwining his hand in hers. “I know you’re scared. I know you believe that you’re not good at marriage but you’ve never been married to me.” She giggles at him. “Well, it’s true I would be a delight to be married to.” He teases her.
“I’m sure you would be darling. You’re not the problem, I am.” Her other hand is balling up the blanket as she speaks.
“Alex! Don’t ever speak about yourself like that.” He sits up to take both her hands in his leaning over he kisses her softly on the forehead. “Alex, look at me.” She looks up with sad eyes willing herself not to cry. “Hey, hey, hey!” He pulls her into his lap rubbing circles across her back.
“You are the most magnificent person I have ever met. From the moment I met you I knew you were special. You have this way of making everyone around you feel happy.” He tilts her chin up so he can look into her eyes. “I love you.” He kisses her nose. “I will always love you.” This kiss lands on her cheek. “I will always be here whether you say yes or not.” He kisses her forehead. “Because we are connected you and I….and that happened long before this little poppet came into our lives.” He kisses his fingertips and places them across her belly. “I want us to be a family, a proper family but only if that is what you want too.”
This time he kisses her lips slowly at first but as she opens to him his passion for her comes through. When they part for breathe she is looking at him so intensely as if she is looking into his very soul. Cupping his face a smile blossoms on hers. “Yes.”
Her answer was so quiet he wasn’t sure if he heard her or he was still wishing it. “What?”
She giggles at him. A little louder, “Yes, I will marry you.”
“Yes?”
“Yes!”
He wraps his arms tightly around her kissing every part of her he can. “Oh god Kingston, you have made me the happiest man in the universe.”
They celebrate by making love imprinting themselves on each other’s skin.
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At her three month checkup the doctor is pleased with her weight gain and she hasn’t had any physical issues except being tired. They are both thrilled to see how their poppet has grown when the doctor does an ultrasound. Matt even thought it was looking less like a blob and more like a baby.
When they get home they decided that Christmas would be a good time to tell their families about the baby……and their engagement.
They had decided that the wedding should be small just family and close friends. When they told Karen she went into wedding planning mode almost immediately. He’d complain but it has taken the stress off of Alex. Anything that eases Alex’s stress he was all for. He convinced Alex that Valentine’s Day would be the perfect day for them to get married. They just need to let their families know…..yeah no stress there.
They go to his parents first on Christmas Eve. He is so excited: it’s Christmas, their engaged, and their having a baby. He can’t think of anything better. They decide to tell his family on Christmas Eve. Everyone is sitting around the lounge having eggnog. Matt snuck into the kitchen to make Alex’s without alcohol.
Reaching over he takes her hand. “So Mum, Dad Alex and I have something to tell you.”
His mum, dad, sister, and granddad turn their attention to him and Alex. He pulls her hand into his lap rubbing his thumb over her skin hoping it is calming for her. “I asked Alex to marry me and she said yes!”
“Oh my goodness!” His mum jumped up as did they and she hugged them both congratulating them.
His dad shakes his hand and then hugs Alex welcoming her to the family. His sister, Laura was bouncing on her feet and couldn’t wait to embrace them both. “I finally get a sister!” Slipping out of the room unseen his dad returns with a tray filled with champagne glasses. Popping the cork he immediately pours the bubbly wanting to celebrate his son’s impending nuptials.
Alex and Matt share glances with each other realizing that they will need to share all of their news at once. He had originally wanted to wait for Christmas Day for that announcement. “Um Mum, Dad we have a bit more to share as well.” He looks over to Alex who smiles at him giving him a nod. “Now it isn’t the reason at all but it is still pretty exciting anyways.” He hesitates.
“Well, out with it you numpty.” His sister admonishes.
“Um, Alex and I are having a baby!” You could have heard a pin drop six miles away. It was safe to say their news was a shock and not at all suspected.
“I don’t understand.” His mum finally broke the silence. “I didn’t think that was possible.” Her gaze traveled back and forth between Matt and Alex.
Alex squeezed Matt’s hand, and then walked over to Lynn. “We didn’t think it was possible either. It’s why we hadn’t been taking any precautions; we didn’t think it was necessary.” She takes Lynn’s hand and rests it on her stomach. “Somehow we made a miracle.”
Lynn can feel the little baby bump and starts to cry. She pulls Alex into her arms. “Oh my god – a grandchild!”
His parents, especially his mum were thrilled about the baby and the impending wedding. Of course, his mum had to pull out his baby pictures and embarrass him thoroughly to Alex. She thought they were adorable. Even told him she hopes their child is as cute as he was as a baby. He smiled rather brightly at that.
Telling her parents went a little differently. At the news of the engagement, her parents were quite happy. They liked Matt. Of course they worried that he was so young but he had proven himself to them over this past year and half.
The reveal that they were having a baby however threw them for a loop. They felt that Alex was putting herself in too much danger. Her mum outright accused Matt of putting Alex up to this. Before they had even sat down to dinner her mum hid in her room, her dad snuck off to the shed, and Alex fussed around in the kitchen. No one was speaking to each other.
Matt didn’t think he knew what to say to Margarethe so he decided to try talking to Anthony. Kissing Alex on the cheek he ventured out into the shed. Her dad was sanding a long piece of wood when Matt opened the door. Anthony nodded to him but returned to his task. “What are you making?” Matt tried to start the conversation.
“A new station for the train set.” He answered quickly.
“Cool!” Anthony had shown him his train set the last time they had been up. He keeps it set up in the attic so he can add to it and tinker with it when ever he wants. Matt wanders around the shed looking at various projects that Anthony has been working on.
After several minutes he finally stops, leans against the bench, and looks over to Anthony. “You know I wouldn’t do anything or let her do anything that would take her away from me.” Anthony stops his sanding and looks up at Matt. “We didn’t plan this, I swear. As much as I want to have a baby with Alex – not if it puts her in any danger.”
“I’m sure you mean that son but she’s a stubborn one. She would take all the risk in the world if it meant she could give you a child. It was her one regret in being with you.”
“She regretted being with me?” Matt looked ashen.
“No, she thought you would regret being with her since she couldn’t give you a child.” Anthony explained.
“Well that’s silly. I’ve already told her I accepted that Salome would be our only child. I told her I was fine with that.”
“Did you miss the part where she’s stubborn?” Anthony teases. They both chuckle.
“I am worried about her too. I have gone to all of her doctor appointments so she can’t sugar coat anything. I have researched on the Internet and gotten literature from the doctor. With careful monitoring, the doctor feels that this is doable and safe.”
“I hope your right.”
“So do I.”
They managed to make it through Christmas dinner. Margarethe joined Alex in the kitchen to finish the dinner. Her mum made a point to not talk about the baby. When they were getting ready to leave Margarethe pulled Matt to the side for a word. “You take care of her, you hear me.”
“I will, of course.”
“If anything happens to her you will have to answer to me. Do you understand?”
“Yes ma’am.” She then surprised him by pulling him into a hug. She then went to hug Alex before they left.
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With the holidays behind them, time seems to be flying by. The wedding is only about two weeks away. The plans for the wedding are coming along well. Karen and Nicola seem to have everything well in hand. Matt is getting more excited everyday. Her doctor seemed pleased at her four month checkup. It seemed like they were getting everything they wanted….marriage …..and a baby.
She is nearly four and half months along when she is meeting Matt in London for dinner. Earlier she and Karen had chosen the flowers for the wedding and met with the caterer. Matt had been at meetings at the BBC most of the day.
He, or course, is running late. Alex fiddles with the cutlery while waiting for him to arrive. Her phone lights up to his face. “Hello darling, where are you?”
“Hi sweetheart. I am so sorry the meeting took forever. I am on my way there. I should be there in ten.”
“Ok darling, I’ll be waiting. Love you.”
“I love you too. Bye.”
Ten minutes passes, then fifteen, almost twenty and he’s still not there. She thought about calling him but he was probably stuck in traffic. As the maitre de sits the couple next to her she overhears them talking about an accident just down the block that had traffic all congested. She relaxes – that is why he is late.
Something keeps gnawing at her though, an uneasy feeling in her stomach, something telling her she needs to leave the restaurant. After another ten minutes she does, leaving a few bills on the table for her drink. As she leaves the restaurant she sees the flashing lights down the block. She’s drawn to them, afraid to know why. As she approaches the accident she sees his car. It’s his Audi, she’s sure of it.
Clutching her belly she approaches the officer closest to her. “Um officer, I think that may be my fiancé’s car. Can you tell me is he alright?”
The officer looks at her hand protectively over her belly and walks her over to the detective in charge of the investigation. “Detective, this lady says she is the driver’s fiancée.”
The detective recognizes her right away. “Aren’t you Alex Kingston?”
“Yes, yes I am. Please tell me was that Matt in the car? How is he?” She is becoming more anxious by the minute. She notices there is an ambulance sitting nearby.
“Um Ms. Kingston. I can confirm that Matt Smith was driving the car over there.” He points to the crumbled Audi.
She becomes frantic. “Well where is he? I want to see him. Is he alright?”
“Ms. Kingston, I’m afraid he didn’t make it.” Her knees buckle underneath her, the detective catches her just in time before she falls to the ground.
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It’s been over a month since the funeral but Alex seems to be living in a world of denial. She has convinced herself that Matt is just away, either at a convention or filming somewhere. Her doctor cautioned her family and friends from challenging her with the truth right now. She is in a fragile mental state and is nearing the last trimester of her pregnancy. She is going to need all her strength for the physical demands of the last three months of this pregnancy.
Everyone is worried about her. Arthur, Karen, and Nicola are in constant contact making sure at least one of them stops by each day. Having been warned not to challenge her delusion about Matt they have to pretend each day that their friend is still alive. It is difficult for all of them but they believe they are honoring Matt by taking care of Alex and his unborn child.
Normally she doesn’t go anywhere alone. Karen or Nicola usually accompanies her to her doctor appointments, and Arthur always takes her grocery shopping. On the spur of the moment she decided to go look at stuff for the nursery. Coming out of a store she is approached by a reporter, one of the gossip rags. The reporter tries to act sympathetic asking her how she is doing since Matt’s death. Alex of course argues with the reporter that Matt isn’t dead.
Thinking she is somehow helping she pulls up an article about his fatal accident on her tablet showing it to Alex. Confronted with the truth about the father of her child, she becomes hysterical screaming at the photographer before collapsing on the sidewalk. She is rushed to the hospital. By the time Nicola arrives at the hospital with Arthur and Karen; Alex has already slipped into a coma. The doctor cannot be sure if this is a temporary or a permanent condition. At the moment both Alex and the baby are at risk.
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