Chapter Text
Her eyes flutter open taking in her surroundings. Her hand immediately goes to the swell of her belly. She cries out “NO!!!” She’s not pregnant. It was all just a cruel dream. Was loving Matt part of the cruel dream too? Was having both of them too much to hope for?
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He sits there in the ridiculous yellow paper gown that all the new dads wear. He had to scrub for ten minutes before they would even give it to him to wear. But it was all worth it to be able to be next to his child just minutes after birth. Reaching through the incubator his child wraps the tiniest of fingers around his own finger. He was trying to be cool in this moment but his emotions betrayed him as he felt the tears streaming down his cheeks.
“Your mummy wishes she could be here too but she is still resting.” He presses his forehead against the clear plastic watching his child breathe, counting the breaths. His thoughts drift to Alex wondering if their child will ever get to know her, wondering if she will ever wake up.
He doesn’t realize he had dozed off. He has no idea how long he has been awake….he never does anymore. The day turns into night and the night into day and for months now nothing else had changed. A faint noise sounding far away wakes him. He hears a rapping on the window getting the attention of the NICU nurse. Wiping the sleep and the tears from his eyes he continues his vigil over his child. The nurse meets her at the door giving her a message.
Coming up to him placing her hand on his shoulder, “Mr. Smith?”
“Yes?” He looks up with half-awake eyes.
“Your wife is awake.”
Shock takes over his face. “What?!? She’s awake?”
“Yes, that is what the floor nurse said. Is everything ok?” She observes his agitated response becoming concerned that they will soon have another patient on their hands.
He leaps to his feet, the hugest grin on his face. “Oh my god! Yes! Everything is ok!” He turns to quickly place a kiss on his baby’s incubator before rushing out of the room. He is tearing at the yellow gown before he is even in the scrub room. As soon as he is through the doors into the corridor he breaks into a run, her room at the end of a long hallway. As he gets close to her room he tries to slow down but has to grab the doorframe to screech himself to a halt.
He stands there in the doorway breathing harshly looking over at her. Her eyes are open, she is talking animatedly with Nicola. ‘She’s awake!!!’
“Matt!!!!!” Her voice brings him back to earth and racing to her bedside. Pausing only for a moment, wondering whether he should, he wraps his arms around her, his face surrounded by her curls. Tears are streaming down his face as his hold on her tightens, “Your awake, oh god Alex. I love you. I’ve missed you so much sweetheart.” He starts to kiss any part of her he can, her shoulder, her neck, her jaw, her cheek, until her lips find his.
Parting, both gasping for breath, their foreheads resting on each others, his tears falling into hers as they just hold each other. “Matt!” Her voice is shaky but her grip on him is tight, not wanting him to go far.
Pulling back slightly he looks in her eyes so happy to see her beautiful green eyes looking back at him. For so many months he didn’t think she would ever open her eyes for him to see them again. His hand cups her cheek, “God Alex, I have missed you.”
Her eyes look at him unsure. ‘Is this another dream…..can I hope for this to be reality?’ “So were together?” She finally asks.
“What?” He’s surprised by her question.
“You and me…..we’re together?” She hesitantly asks again.
He leans back further his hands move down to her hands as he tries to decide the best answer at this moment. He doesn’t know what spending months in a coma could do to a person. Has she forgotten? “Sweetheart we have been together for some time.” He brings her fingers to his lips kissing them softly.
That’s when she sees it….his wedding ring. Twisting her hand in his she reaches for it feeling it against her skin, twisting it between her fingers, she is mesmerized by it. “Married?” She mumbles. Looking at her own hand there is no ring; panic begins to fill her again. With sad eyes she looks up at his. “To who? Married to who?”
He has been watching her every move, unwilling to miss a second of her after waiting so long for her to awake. He’s seen her look for her own ring on her hand and the deeply sad look in her eyes when she looks at him again wanting to know who he has married. She doesn’t know. ‘How could she not know?’
He holds her hands in his not letting her eyes stray from his. “You Alex, only you. I could never be married to anyone but you.” She takes in a deep breath, then another, grabbing at him to pull him closer. Her heart is racing and she feels like she can’t breathe as she gulps for air. Holding her close he strokes her back cooing in her ear to calm her.
When it appears her breathing is close to normal he dares to loosen his hold on her. Watching her closely he rubs his hands over hers. He’s holding back, letting her take this at her own pace, afraid to push too much.
She stares down to her hands again. “Why don’t I have a ring?”
He brings her hand to his lips again brushing a kiss across them. “Well you do have a ring, rings actually but there at home. They don’t let you keep them on in hospital.”
Hearing the word ‘hospital’ causes her to take in her surroundings. She is definitely in a hospital room. She notices cards and get well pictures taped to the wall, lots of them. ‘Oh so I’ve been here awhile.’ Her thoughts register. As she scans the room she sees Nicola against the far wall watching her closely but trying to give them some space. The nurse hovering at her right is not giving them space but monitoring her and the machines she’s attached to closely. Realizing that she begins to panic again, afraid of the reason why.
Her grip on his hands becomes tighter, more frightened. “Why? Why am I here?” She looks to Matt for answers.
He nervously looks from her to the nurse trying to decide how much he should say. He’s not even sure how much she remembers. ‘If she didn’t remember us being married, then she probably doesn’t remember being pregnant.’
“Alex, sweetheart maybe we should wait for the doctor.” She can tell he’s stalling and that makes her even more determined.
“What? No, tell me! Tell me right now. Why am I here?” Her voice demanding and just a wee bit anxious.
He never could deny her anything, this is no different. “Alex, you’ve been in a coma.”
“A coma? What? Why? How long?” His answer only causes her mind to flood with more questions.
Scooting closer to her his one hand holding hers while his other caresses her cheek, fondling her curls. She nuzzles into his touch glad that he has the same need to feel her skin against his as she does him. “Sweetheart you’ve been in a coma for the past three months.”
He hears a sharp intake of air from her as her mind races trying to process the impossibility of being in a coma for three months. “Three months?” He nods watching her quite closely, afraid that the wrong thing could send her back into that coma. Pulling him closer she rests her head against his shoulder considering his words.
Outside her room she can hear voices, looking that way she realizes Nicola has left the room. When she returns she is accompanied by a man in a white coat, probably the doctor she surmises. As they approach her bedside she notices Matt and her sister having a conversation with their eyes. It irks her that they are talking behind her back, yet right in front of her. She can’t help but wonder what that is all about.
The thoughts are pushed out of her head by the doctor, Dr. Curbeira, she thinks he said his name was. He was asking her all kinds of questions that she didn’t care about like what day it was, where was she born, what was her mother’s name. ‘I mean really what do these have to do with waking up from a coma?’
After a thorough exam he is pleased with the results. He orders the nurse to continue her monitoring and to let him know if anything out of the ordinary changes. Matt looks over to the doctor gesturing with his eyes. Again with the eye conversations. ‘What is going on?’
“Mr. Smith could I speak to you for a moment?” He indicates out of the room.
Torn between leaving Alex and talking to the doctor, he realizes he needs to know where she stands. He doesn’t want to inadvertently do anything to lose her again. Holding her hands in his he again brings them to his lips. “I’ll just be a moment love.” Her eyes scream panic at the thought of him being away from her. “I promise. I will be right back.” Nicola came up behind him resting her hand on his shoulder letting him know she’s got this covered.
Matt and the doctor exit her room into the hallway. “So how is she doctor?” He pushes his hair back to dispel his nervous energy.
“She seems to be doing well. Her body has been through a shock giving birth to a baby and waking up from a long coma. Her vitals are good and she seems to be stable. We will continue to monitor her closely for any signs of distress. For now, you probably just need to get to know each other again.”
“Um, yeah….she didn’t remember we were married. Why?”
“She’s been in a coma for several months. It’s like she has been in a deep, deep sleep. We can never be sure what they can hear from our world or what dreams they conjure in their own. Most patients wake up a bit disoriented. It may take several days to weeks before she is feeling back to normal.”
“Um doctor….I haven’t told her about the baby yet. I wasn’t sure if I should. What should I do?”
“It’s best to let her lead for now. She’ll remember, it’s just a matter of how soon. I realize that puts you in a difficult position Matt. I’m sure you want to be with your baby and Alex.”
“Yeah, I do. I want her to see the baby, too.”
He pats Matt’s shoulder. “I’m sure it will happen soon enough. Just be patient a little longer.” Matt blew out a breath and nodded. “She’s going to be in and out for awhile. It’s going to take her some time before she stays awake for very long.” After the doctor walked down the corridor, Matt turned back entering Alex’s room. Alex was talking quietly with Nicola this time as he approached them.
“So you getting caught up on what’s happening in the family?”
“Oh not too much,” Said Nicola, “We haven’t made it much passed Salome and my boys.”
Matt laughed as his gaze moved from Nicola to Alex. She looked tired, like staying awake was an awful lot of work. His insides turned upside down worrying that she was going to slip back into the coma. He remembered what the doctor had said and tried to calm his nerves. “Alex love, you look like you should rest.”
“No!” She protested. “I have slept long enough.”
Coming closer to her bedside he runs his fingers through her curls stroking her head. “Love, I know it seems like that but your body needs rest. Its ok, close your eyes. I’ll be right here when you wake up.”
She tugs on his sleeve. “With me…” He barely hears her tired voice.
“With me? You want me to lie with you?”
She nods, a smile on her face. “Oh Kingston, the things I do for you.” He crawls in bed next to her.
Nicola decides this is a good time to make her exit. “Um hey Matt, I think I’m going to go make a few phone calls. Tell the folks about our girl here.” He gives her a beseeching look that thankfully Alex doesn’t notice. “and I’ll check on the other for you too.” He nods in appreciation.
It feels so good to lie next to Alex again. It has been nearly seven months. He wraps his arms around her as she quickly falls back to sleep. It takes him longer unable to take his eyes off of her….afraid that somehow he will wake up and his dream will not have come true.
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Her eyes flutter open taking in her surroundings. Her hand immediately goes to the swell of her belly. She cries out “NO!!!” She’s not pregnant. It was all just a cruel dream. Was loving Matt part of the cruel dream too? But there he was right beside her looking at her with panic in his eyes.
“Alex, what’s wrong? Are you in pain? Did I hurt you?”
She reaches out to him like he might be a mirage; her hand touching his face to assure her he was indeed there. “Matt? Are you really here?”
He smiles at her running his hands up and down her arms to soothe her. Leaning in he kisses her forehead, “Yes love I’m really here. Afraid you’re stuck with me.” He chuckles.
She smirks at him. He settles them back down on the bed, his arms still surrounding her. Resting her head on his chest she traces circles and nonsense across his shirt. Its several minutes before either of them break the silence. “Alex love, why were you so upset when you woke up?”
Her fingers continued to map him. “You’ll think it’s silly.”
“What would I think is silly?” He asked softly.
Her fingers stopped as her head rose from his chest to meet his eyes. “I dreamt about us. I guess while I was sleeping.”
“What did you dream about?” His hand rose to stroke her cheek. Having her so close he cannot not touch her.
“I dreamed that we were having a baby…..I know it’s crazy but I kept having these dreams over and over. They were different but in each one I was pregnant. Isn’t that crazy?”
Matt stills, his thoughts, his movements. He knows his next words need to be carefully thought out. After a long pause he asks, “Why do you think that would be crazy?”
“Why would you ask that? You know we can’t have kids; I can’t have kids.” She is clearly getting agitated.
“Alex, it’s ok.” He turns them so their heads rest on the pillow and he can look in her eyes. She looks at him confused and a little scared……and she’s not really sure why.
His fingertips stroke her cheek as he hopes to calm her. “Alex, I need to tell you something.” His other hand is entwined with hers.
In barely a whisper she answers, “what?” She continues to look at him unsure what his face is telling her.
He kisses the end of her nose. “Alex love, you were pregnant.” Her mouth drops open as she stares at him. “It’s why you were in the hospital, how you ended up in a coma.” His expression saddens as he is reminded of the months of her lying here in a coma.
“What? I was pregnant? With our baby?” Tears begin at the corners of her eyes slowing falling down her cheeks. “Oh Matt, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” She throws herself at his chest the tears wetting his shirt.
He immediately realizes that she has come to the wrong conclusion. Pulling her away from him to look into her eyes once more. “Alex no love you don’t understand. You were pregnant, then you had the baby, then you woke up.”
Her eyes go wide as she is staring at him, his words replaying in her head. She’s sure she heard him wrong. “Matt this isn’t funny.”
“Sweetheart, I swear this is true. We had a baby…..a baby boy.”
“We had a baby?” She speaks faintly, barely a whisper.
“Yes love, we did.” He pulls her to his chest holding her tightly gently rocking them soothingly.
“A boy?”
“Yes.” He talks through her curls.
She begins to get frantic again. “Where is he? I want to see him. Where is my baby?”
“Calm down love.” He strokes over her back trying to keep her stress levels down, wondering if it was too soon to have told her.
Pushing up on his chest she looks at him fiercely. “I want to see him Matt. Now!”
He strokes her cheek and fingers her curls as he talks in an even, calming tone. “I know you do love but you can’t right now. He is in the NICU and you are in no shape to go up there.”
“The NICU? Why? What’s the matter?” Her eyes are blazing. He is beyond worried that this is too much too soon for her.
“He’s fine. He’s going to be fine. They are taking precautions with you having been in a coma the last trimester. He is being monitored very closely.”
“But he is ok? Nothing’s wrong?” Her eyes pleading with him to tell her about her child.
“They are concerned he may be a bit jaundice but that is nothing to worry about. He’ll just need to sunbath in the special lights for a few days.”
She relaxes, more like collapses against his chest. His arms reach around her automatically tugging her close. Crying softly, her tears begin to wet his shirt. “I want to see him Matt. This doesn’t seem real.”
“I know, I know sweetheart.” He realizes he has pictures. “Hey!” He gently pushes her so she looks up at him. “I just remembered. I have pictures on my phone. You want to see.”
Her face lights up, her eyes alive with excitement. “Yes! Yes, let me see.”
He shifts them so he can pull his phone from his jeans pocket. She moves beside him watching as he finds the pictures on his phone. “There he is!” He hands the phone to Alex as she stares at a picture of her son when he was only minutes old.
Her lips quiver as she raises a shaky hand to trace over his face on the screen. Tears stream from her eyes. Impatiently she scrubs them away as she stares at the screen. “There are a few others if you want to see.” She nods. He swipes the screen. Matt is beaming while holding his newborn son. Incredibly her tears fall even harder.
She swipes the screen to reveal pics of him in his isolette she guesses in the NICU. There are all kinds of wires hooked to him but he looks content, not in any pain. Looking over to Matt, she asks again. “But he’s alright?”
“He’s perfect!” Leaning over he kisses her cheek. “Just like his mother!” She smiles back at him leaning in to kiss him gently across the lips. Resting against his chest she continues to stare at the first picture he had showed her. Stroking her back he listens as her breathing slows. He knows she has fallen asleep when the phone drops from her hand.
After a few more minutes he slides out from under her tucking her in for a good rest. He leaves his phone on the nightstand so she can look at the pictures when she wakes. His heart is being torn in two. He doesn’t want to leave her but he wants to check on his son. Knowing she would be cross with him for not checking on their son he forces himself from her bedside.
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After scrubbing he enters the NICU to find his sister-in-law sitting next to his son. As he approaches he rests his hand on her shoulder. “Hey there.” She says as she looks back at him. “How’s Alex?”
“She’s sleeping.” His eyes on his son the entire time he is talking. “She had fallen asleep earlier but when she woke up she was quite agitated. When I asked her about it, she said she had had dreams that she was pregnant. She thought they were only dreams.” He looks finally at Nicola. “I had to tell her. I couldn’t let her think it wasn’t real.”
Nicola gasps. “How’d she take it?”
“She didn’t believe me at first but then I showed her his pictures and then I think she believed.”
“You think?”
“Honestly, I don’t think she is going to really believe it until she can hold him.”
“Yeah.” She nods looking back over to the baby.
“Honestly, I’m still trying to believe it and I was in the room, and awake when he was born!”
“It is a miracle.” Nicola smiles at the little chubby figure in front of them.
“Yes, he is!” He presses his hand against the side of the isolette hoping his son can feel his presence. “Um, I would like to stay with him for awhile. Why don’t you go rest in Alex’s room?” She nods in agreement. “I don’t want her to wake up alone.” He adds.
She rises offering her seat to him. “By the way I got hold of your parents and mine. So they know about the baby but I asked them not to come yet. I didn’t think either of you were ready for that yet.”
“Thank you Nicola. I so appreciate all you have done for both of us all these months.”
“Oh pish, that’s what sisters are for.” She squeezes his shoulder then heads back to Alex’s room.
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He doesn’t even remember being drowsy but apparently at one point he fell asleep with his head against the side of the isolette. It’s his turn to have dreams, or in this case remember how he got to this point in time.
He was heading back from Indonesia so very excited to be coming home after four months away. All he could think of was getting home to Alex. He had just hailed a cab when his phone rang. Thinking it would be Alex he answered it immediately. “Matt! Where are you?” It wasn’t Alex but Arthur and his tone sounded rushed and frantic.
“I’m in London on my way home in a cab.” He hesitated, something inside him told him something was wrong.
“Good, well ….um….look there isn’t any easy way to say this but you need to meet me at hospital.”
He gasps. “Hospital? Why? Who?”
“It’s Alex. They’re taking her there right now.”
His mouth goes dry, he flounders to form words, “What? Why? Where?”
Arthur gives him the name and address of the hospital before hurrying off the phone. He said he would explain when he got there. Putting down the phone he redirects the taxi driver to the hospital. Sitting back in the seat his thoughts of a romantic reunion pushed from his mind as all he can think is ‘God please be alright love.’
He hadn’t considered that he would have to haul his large suitcase into the hospital when he redirected the cab but he didn’t want to waste a moment getting there. After being directed around the hospital by several nurses he finally finds the waiting room where Arthur is pacing the floor like an expectant father.
“Arthur!” He stops in his tracks turning to look at Matt. Matt is immediately put on alert by how ashen Arthur appears.
“Hey there mate.” He says as he gives him a handshake/hug.
“How’s Alex?” Matt immediately says when they part.
He motions to a corner of the waiting room. “Matt let’s sit down. I have a lot to tell you.”
Dragging his suitcase they sit in chairs alongside a corner table covered in magazines. “I don’t understand Arthur. What is going on? Alex never said anything about being sick. Was there an accident?”
“No, not an accident.” Arthur scooted to the end of the chair looking carefully at Matt. “Matt, there is something she didn’t tell you. She didn’t want you to worry and she was afraid that you would up and leave your filming. She was sure you would jeopardize your career if you knew.”
“Oh god….is it cancer?” Matt’s eyes pleaded no, please no.
“No, its not cancer.” Arthur continued to hesitate. This wasn’t his place to tell him this news but Alex was in no shape to do it now and Matt had to know. He forged ahead. “Alex is pregnant.”
Matt’s eyes went wide staring back at Arthur sure that he had heard him wrong. “What?!?”
“You and Alex are having a baby.” He tried again.
“A baby? But that’s not possible. Alex can’t have babies. She told me that herself.” Matt’s mind was racing at a hundred kilometers per hour trying to process what Arthur was saying. He knew Arthur was too serious for this to be any type of prank, but a baby? How?
“Well apparently this one time she can.” He scrubs his hands over his face. Matt can’t help but notice the worry in his eyes.
“So she’s here to have the baby?” Matt asks, somehow knowing that wasn’t it entirely.
“No, it’s still too early for that. She’s only six months along but she’s had some complications.”
“Six months?” He nods. Matt is working out the calculations in his head realizing she had to be two months along when he left.
Arthur seemed to sense where his friend was going in his mind and jumped in to stop him. “She didn’t know if that is what you’re thinking.” Matt looked over to him. “She didn’t know when you left. She didn’t find out for another few weeks after you started filming.”
“But…. but that means she has been lying to me for over three months. Why didn’t she tell me?” He drops his head in his hands trying to keep Arthur from seeing the tears starting in the corner of his eyes.
Arthur doesn’t say anything for awhile letting Matt process all of this. Finally he speaks up, “Matt, I think she thought she was doing what was best for your career. She has always fretted that being with her would impact your career badly. It seemed important to her ……that you didn’t regret being with her.”
“Regret being with her? How could I ever regret being with her? I love her; she is the most important person in my life. How can she not know that?” He gave up trying to hide the tears as they streamed down his face.
He reached over patting his friend on the shoulder, “I think she does Matt. She’s just so scared that you’re going to find a reason to leave like the others did.”
Matt turns to look at him in disbelief. “Did she tell you that?”
“Not directly but I can read between the lines pretty well. We’ve talk a lot this last month since I found out she was pregnant.”
“She told you?!” His voice angry that his friend knew things….important things about his wife that he didn’t.
“Calm down mate. No, she didn’t tell me either. As best I know the only one she told was her sister, Nicola. I don’t even think her parents know yet.”
Looking curious, “So how?”
“Well I had called Alex a number of times to get together. I figured she was probably missing you mate and I thought taking her out to dinner would cheer her up. She always sounded happy to talk to me on the phone but also always seemed to have an excuse why we couldn’t get together. It started to gnaw at me. I guess I could feel that something wasn’t right. So I just showed up on her doorstep one day. I figured I would surprise her, or confront her. Either way I was hoping I could get a better understanding as to what was going on.”
“And?”
“And I showed up and before she could hide herself behind the door I had already guessed that she was pregnant. I mean Alex is always so toned. It wasn’t hard to spot the baby bump. When I called her out on it she finally relented and let me inside.”
“So what then?”
“Well I got her to admit that she was (then) five months pregnant and that she hadn’t told you anything about it. I can’t tell you how many times I almost picked up the phone to I don’t know tell you, drop a hint, something. She made me swear not to tell you.” He shakes his head. “It was the only way she would let me help her.”
“Help her? Help her how?”
“Well despite her reluctance to tell me I think she needed someone to share this with.” He sees Matt’s pained expression. “Yes, I know mate it should have been you. I agree with you. So anyway I came by everyday after rehearsals to check on her, bring her dinner, or something. She wouldn’t go out, too afraid she’d get photographed and her secret would be out. When I mentioned that I was looking for a flat for the duration of the play she offered me the guest room. It seemed like a good idea. It would be easier to keep an eye on her and she seemed to like the company.”
“So you’re staying at our place?”
“Yeah but I can be out by tomorr-“
Matt waves him off. “No need and it sounds like I owe you big time anyways mate.” Arthur nods gratefully. “So what’s happened? Why is Alex in hospital?”
“I’m not exactly sure. I came home from rehearsals to check on her. She was so excited that you were coming back but she was also nervous as hell. There wasn’t anyway she was going to be able to hide this from you. She was stressing out over your reaction. When I walked in she was lying on the floor passed out. I couldn’t wake her so I called the ambulance. Now….I guess we have to wait to find out from her doctor.”
Matt and Arthur sit in silence for some time. Matt is letting all that Arthur has told him sink in; Arthur is hoping that he hasn’t ruined a friendship, Matt’s or Alex’s. Arthur stays with him as the doctor explains Alex’s condition. They share their concern with each other as the doctor explains that Alex is in a coma. The doctor can’t be sure how temporary this is or if in fact it is permanent. The one piece of cheerful news the doctor shares is that the baby is doing well.
Arthur stays next to him all night as they both sit vigil beside her bed. At some point Matt falls asleep with his hand in her hand and his head resting next to it. Arthur somehow sleeps sitting up in the most uncomfortable plastic chair.
After the doctor makes his rounds Arthur apologizes but he needs to get to rehearsals. Matt insists he goes. Before he leaves Matt again thanks him for being there for Alex when he couldn’t be. He takes from his suitcase his toiletries and a few clothes before Arthur takes it back to their flat.
Nearly everyday Arthur stopped by usually bringing Matt fresh clothes or a proper meal. If he didn’t come by he would call or text to see if there were any changes. Matt can’t believe how unbelievably wonderful Arthur has been through all of this. He and Alex, and his son were lucky to have him as their friend.
Matt wakes feeling his sweaty face plastered to the side of the isolette. Looking around he tries to determine how long he had been asleep. Catching sight of his baby boy all other thoughts flee from his mind. ‘His and Alex’s baby!’ He was still trying to get his mind around that. He had resigned himself that they would never have children. He had accepted that as a consequence of loving Alex. It was unbelievable to him that they were a family, a proper family.
As he touched his son’s tiny little hand through the opening he remembered his dream, he remembered how much he owed Arthur for Alex, for his baby, and for himself. He smiled at himself while talking to his son, “I think I know just how to let him know how important he is to all of us.”
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When Alex awoke she reached out for Matt but he wasn’t there. She began to cry out but Nicola was instantly by her side calming her down. “Hey there sis! It’s ok, I’m here.”
Alex looks at her warily, her mind jumbled trying to separate the dreams from reality. ‘Was this reality?’ “Matt?” She asks tentatively.
“Don’t worry, he hasn’t gone far.” Nicola pats her sister’s arm. “He’s down with the little guy in NICU.”
Alex breathes deeply. ‘It wasn’t a dream. This is really happening. Matt and I ….were married …..we have a baby’ A huge smile transforms her face.
“Now there’s my sister. It’s good to see you smiling again.”
“Nicola, Matt ….and I …were married!”
Nicola giggles at her. “I know love, I was at the wedding.”
Alex stares at her. “I think…think I remember …..I don’t know it’s all a little fuzzy. I had these dreams, they seemed so real. It’s hard to know what was a dream and what is really real.”
Her sister listens as she babbles on. It feels so good to hear her voice again after the silence that had permeated every corner of this room for so long.
“You know sister dear you have some pretty amazing men in your life. Matt has been here since the day they brought you in. He hasn’t left your side. No matter how much we tried he refused to leave the hospital. Lynne was beyond worried for him, and you.”
“He’s been here the whole time?” Her sister nods. “For three months?!?”
“Yes. He spent most of his day in this chair reading to you. About a week into it the nurses took pity on him and brought in a cot for him to sleep on.” She pointed to the one in the corner of the room. This is the longest he’s been out of this room in months and it’s so he can keep vigil next to another bed, your son’s.” Alex is thinking about this, picturing Matt here day after day. She can’t believe he stayed.
Sensing her thoughts, Nicola takes her hand, “He’s a good man Alex. I think you need to accept that he loves you beyond reason, and that he’s not going anywhere.”
“Of course I know he loves me.” Alex protests.
“No, I mean really loves you as in not leaving, not walking away when things get hard. I think, no I believe he’s a keeper Alex. He proved himself to me these past months in ways Ralph and Florian never would have.” Alex watches her quietly, thinking. “You might not have any choice now.”
Confused she asks, “Choice? Choice about what?”
“About being happy. I think you’re just going to have to be happy.”
Small tears started to run down her cheeks as her sisters words gave her permission to let go of the walls, the barriers around her heart. For so long she protected it, even from Matt. It was hard not to, it was habit, it was necessary for most of her adult life. She had never expected her and Matt; it had taken her by surprise how strongly she felt for him and always feared that he couldn’t feel the same way for her. So even after they were married she protected herself, keeping so many feelings hidden.
As she lays there turning to look out at the sunshine making an appearance she realizes that deep down that is why she didn’t tell Matt about the baby. She had told herself that she didn’t want him to leave his filming and hurt his career. But the real truth, if she’s really honest with herself was that she thought he wouldn’t leave the filming. That he would have chosen his career over her, and their child. ‘How could she have had so little faith in him, in us?’
Looking back to Nicola, “I didn’t think I could trust it, trust him.” She speaks so quietly, almost a whisper.
He sister tightens her hold on her hand, “And now you know you can!”
A smile so bright it makes her eyes sparkle transforming her face. “Yeah, I do.”
“And I have another little guy too. Have you seen his picture?” She reaches over to the nightstand for Matt’s phone.
Patting her hand, “Yes sweetie I have. I was the one who took them. I have also been by his bedside in NICU while you and Matt were getting ‘reacquainted’.”
“Oh! Tell me about him.” She looks at her sister anxiously.
“Sorry love, this your own story, it can’t be told, it’s gotta be lived.”
“What? No fair using my character’s words against me!”
Nicola laughs. “I’m sure they will let you see him soon. Besides when I was talking about the men in your life I hadn’t included the little guy yet, although he is pretty spectacular too.”
“Then who else?”
“Arthur.”
Alex tries to remember Arthur in reality, separate from the dreams she had while in the coma. “If I remember correctly didn’t Arthur end up moving in with me?”
“Yes, he did. The poor man was doing rehearsals all day and then checking on you each night. He was still living in a hotel room. When he mentioned that he needed to find a place for the duration of the play; you suggested he stay with you. I have to say I was greatly relieved. I couldn’t keep tabs on you all the way from Surrey. Did you know he called me everyday with an update on you?”
“He did?”
“Yes. He knew how worried I was about you having a baby at your age and with Matt away…” Her voice trailed off as she left her sister’s side to suddenly look out the window.
Looking over to her sister, she can see how much her being in the hospital has worried her. It has probably completely disrupted her family’s lives as well. “Nicola, I’m alright. It’s going to be alright.”
Batting away the tears that were already staining her cheeks she turns from the window staring at her sister. “But we didn’t know that Alex. For a long time we didn’t know. We could have lost you……..and the baby. We just didn’t know.”
Alex opens her arms to invite her sister into them. Nicola wastes no time going to her, feeling her embrace for the first time in months. They both cry together until they are comforted from their closeness. “I’m sorry I worried you.” Alex coos into the top of her head.
“Yes, well….” She sits up to look her in the eye. “Just don’t do it again!”
They both laugh. “I promise. I will do my best. God Nicola, three months? Three months I have been in this bed, and this hospital.”
“Yeah and having your men worshiping at your bedside everyday. Honestly, how can you still look gorgeous and be in a coma? It’s just not fair!!”
“Men? Who besides Matt?”
“Well Arthur for one. He still came to check on you everyday. When his play started it had to be during the day since he was working nights.”
“Everyday? Really?”
“Well someone had to keep Matt sane, and bring him clean clothes. He said he couldn’t stay away. I swear I think deep down he really does believe he’s your dad.” They both giggled.
“My goodness. I have a lot to make up for don’t I. Matt, Arthur, you… “
“Just take care of yourself …….and the little guy. Then it will have all been worth it.”
Alex smiles as she thinks about her baby ……and Matt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As if on cue, Matt pops his head into the room. “Hey Alex, are you up for visit from a special someone?” He was grinning at her, his eyes wild with excitement, as he tried to keep himself still but failed miserably.
She was about to say she wasn’t up to any visitors when she realized that his level of enthusiasm and the words ‘special someone’ could only mean their son.
“He’s here?” Matt was nodding frantically. “Yes! Yes! Bring me my baby!” She quickly adjusts herself in the bed her eyes never leaving the doorway as Matt steps aside allowing a nurse to wheel in the small cot containing her child.
She strains to see him from her bed until Matt carefully lifts him and places him in her arms. He sits next to her helping to hold him. He knows she is still weak from the coma.
She is transfixed by him. ‘He’s really real.’ Matt has one arm around Alex, the other helping to support the baby as they both can’t stop staring at their little miracle. Neither of them notices Nicola slipping past them to retrieve the phone and take some family photos.
Her finger strokes his cheek as she notices that he has Matt’s eyes. “He has your eyes.” She says quietly.
Surprised, “Oh so he does. I hadn’t realized, he’s mostly had his eyes closed. But I definitely think he got your hair. Look at all that hair already.” She runs her fingers through his short curly locks. “Most of the other babies in NICU are all bald!” They chuckle.
“Ah but definitely your chin.” She strokes her finger along it.
“Poor fella.” Matt sighs.
“Why? I’ve always loved your chin.” She reaches over and strokes his as she had done their son’s. He presses a kiss into her curls tugging her a little closer to him.
“You know he’s going to need a name.”
“I’ve been thinking about that. Do you have anything in mind?” She asks.
“Yeah I do. What do you think about Rory Arthur Smith?”
She takes in a breath. “Oh my god, that is what I was thinking. Only I was going with Arthur Rory Smith.”
“That might be a bit confusing since we already have an Arthur, and wouldn’t it be kind of weird for them to have the same first name since he’s not his dad?” They continued to fawn over their son. “Besides Arthur’s ego is going to be big enough as it is that were naming him after him without going too far.” He added.
Alex chuckles. “I like it.” She coos to her son. “What do you think? Do you want to be known as Rory Arthur Smith?” The baby giggles at them. Sneaking a peak at Matt, “I think it’s unanimous.”
At least ten minutes pass before they notice Arthur standing in the doorway taking in the sight of the new family in front of him. Alex sees him first. “Arthur! Come here we want you to meet someone.” He sidles up next to the bed peering over Matt’s shoulder at their little bundle.
“We’d like you to meet Rory Arthur Smith.” Arthur’s jaw drops, his whole face is in utter surprise.
“You…you named him after me?”
“Who else mate?” He takes his son from Alex’s arms to present him to Arthur. “Can’t think of anyone else more devoted to him, even before he was born, than his godfather.
Arthur was trying to not let on how much this was affecting him but his eyes betrayed him as tears slipped down his cheeks. “Oh, I was going to be so cool.”
“Crying with your godchild in your arms……definitely cool….. Dad!”
The End