Archive of Our Own

Senior year of college has been hard on Yoongi so far. He loves studying art, it’s something he really enjoys, but the assignments are difficult and there are so many restrictions on Yoongi’s creativity he often ends up very frustrated. The art department are constantly paranoid about bad press, so they restrict the things that the students can do. Yoongi didn’t want to be involved in bureaucracy and stupid paperwork, he wants to make interesting things that make people think. But he’s learning to work with it, just for now until he graduates.

Right now he’s working on getting volunteers to film his baby project, not an easy task. He’d put posters up all over campus, spoken to all the friends he had and told them to spread the word. It’s going to be incredibly frustrating if he doesn’t have enough participants, since it took him so long to get permission from the film department for this project, to sort out the paperwork and consent forms.

The problem is that the compensation he’s offering is pretty insignificant, and the project itself is a little intimidating and probably not something that anyone would consider doing without at least some prior experience. Yoongi holds out hope, though, because he thinks that this project could really be something interesting, a small but important part of his final project before he graduates.

Yoongi gets an email on a Wednesday lunchtime when he’s sat with Hoseok, which he immediately checks - he’s been on high alert checking his inbox ever since he posted the fliers.

“How many have you done so far?” Hoseok asks him while he reads it distractedly.

“Four,” he sighs. “I’m hoping to get at least ten subjects to film. Fifteen would be ideal. Are you sure I can’t tempt you, Seok?”

Hoseok laughs. “No, hyung, I’d rather not have you watch me get off.” He gives Yoongi an apologetic smile. “I’ve been telling everyone I know about it, though. I’m sure you’ll get the people you need. There’s a few guys from Joon’s psych class that are considering it, for sure.”

But Yoongi’s not so sure. He has already finished filming all of his four volunteers, and the filmings were all successful, but now he’s restless. This email is promising, however. It reads:

Dear Min Yoongi,

I recently saw one of your fliers on campus, and I have an interest in being part of your film project. If you are still looking for volunteers, that is! I fit the criteria you’re looking for and everything.

Please just drop me an email if you want someone else to participate!

Best regards,

Park Jimin.

“Is that a new recruit?” Hoseok asks jokingly, and Yoongi nods a little. He types out a response quickly, asking if this Park Jimin can meet him tomorrow to discuss the project and sign the consent form. There’s hope, a spark of excitement in Yoongi’s chest.

“If more and more people take part, more people can tell their friends about it. I’ve only filmed my friends so far, so they don’t have that many people to tell that I haven’t already tried to convince.” He speaks mindlessly, not really making much sense he’s sure, but it doesn’t matter. Hoseok probably understands what he’s trying to say, anyway.

“Yeah, I’m serious when I say it’ll be fine. Let me know how it goes with this guy.” Yoongi nods and says goodbye to Hoseok as he leaves for class.

He hopes this Park Jimin doesn’t back out after meeting him, and that he has lots of friends that might be willing to be filmed reading with a vibrator inside them.

--

Park Jimin, it turns out, is a dance major, and absolutely gorgeous. When Yoongi meets him in the cafe attached to the general library, Jimin is nursing a coffee in a to-go cup between two kind of small hands. He has very fluffy black hair, a beanie sat on top, wearing a blue denim jacket, just as he had described in the message he’d sent to Yoongi so he could identify the kid.

“Hey, Park Jimin?”

Jimin looks up and they make eye contact, and Yoongi thinks, very astutely, oh no .

Because he has such a pretty face, caught somewhere between cute and incredibly handsome. Chubby cheeks that contrast with a sharp jawline, sharp eyes that thin out charmingly when he smiles at Yoongi in greeting.

“Hi, Min Yoongi? Nice to meet you,” he says politely, holding out his hand for Yoongi to shake. His hand is smaller than Yoongi’s, but the handshake is firm, confident.

“You too.” Jimin smiles at him again. Yoongi is really hoping that he doesn’t want to back out now. The need for participants has been a little overwhelmed by his want to get to know the pretty boy.

“So, what do you know about the project, Jimin?” Yoongi asks.

“Well, I saw a flyer in the dance building,” he says, and Yoongi reminds himself to thank Hoseok profusely later. “It said that you were looking for people for a film project about… sexuality? Is that right?” He looks like he’s thinking hard.

“And you know what you’d be expected to do?” Yoongi questions further. This part is important.

“Yeah, kinda? Actually I have a few friends that are friends with your friend Hoseok. He told them about your thing and they told me. I have to… read? A book? And wear a vibrator.” He doesn’t really look too phased by it, and Yoongi breathes a sigh of relief that he doesn’t have to explain to him.

“Okay, yeah, that’s the general idea. I’ll have a camera on you, above the waist. You’ll bring your own book, and you have to just, keep reading, for as long as you can. When it’s too much, you can stop.” Jimin looks a little surprised, so Yoongi braces himself for some kind of backlash.

Instead he simply asks, “I choose the book?”

“Well, I- what?” Yoongi has to take a moment to catch up with the question. What a strange thing to query.

“Oh, I just thought… it’s interesting that you let the people choose their own book,” Jimin says sheepishly. They sit in silence for a moment, because Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s going to bore this kid by telling him about why he’s asking people to do that.

Yoongi expects him to ask about the compensation next, like the rest of his volunteers so far. “What is your project on, then? The flyer said that this was only a little part of your final dissertation project?” Jimin leans forward, resting his face on his hands. Yoongi blinks for a second, not expecting the question, and the way that Jimin looks so interested.

“Um. It’s about sexuality, like you said, with a focus on open sexuality, the taboo. This film project is about, like,” Yoongi ponders for a moment on how to phrase this in something that isn’t overly technical or pretentious like what he’s had to present to the art department so far. “The battle between the body and the mind, and there’s a lot of things to say about freedom of female and gay male sexuality as things that are considered wrong, taboo on another level.” Jimin is nodding, and Yoongi is kind of surprised that he’s really interested.

“Sounds like a big project. You sound really passionate about it,” Jimin says. “I think it’s brave of you.”

This makes Yoongi laugh a little. “The art department certainly thinks it’s brave. They put me through the wringer to let me do it, and I’m still not sure they’re gonna accept the final project, to be honest.” He reaches into his bag to grab the important papers that Jimin needs. “Anyway, here’s the consent form for you to look over.”

Jimin takes it, eyeing it interestedly. “Okay, I’ll take a look.”

This should be it,.Yoongi could leave now. Should, probably. But he wants to talk to Jimin more. He’s kind of a mystery so far. Yoongi wants to know more about him.

“So. Why did you, um, consider being a part of my project?”

Jimin grins. “It sounded interesting! And there is compensation. I like helping people with their projects, I like to think that it’s good karma. I’d hope people come and help me when I do my final project.”

Sunny. That’s how Yoongi would describe him. He seems so full of life, not happy? But just, bright. “That’s… kind of you? And a good idea, I mean, I wish I had made lots of friends that would be willing to volunteer for me.”

“Thanks! I do try. I’ve been told that I’m naive before, for thinking that,” Jimin says, expression dropping a little. Yoongi flails mentally, doesn’t know what to do about the sudden change in mood. Jimin perks back up quickly though. “But I want to volunteer for your project anyway! It’s a little scary, but I think it might be actually fun?”

He’s so enthusiastic it makes Yoongi smile. That’s the first time someone has described what he’s doing as in any way ‘fun’. It’s cute, and Jimin’s energy is contagious.

“I hope it is. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable when we film or anything, it should be just, I don’t know, not enjoyable but…” Yoongi sighs, rubbing his hands over his eyes. Jimin hums, and Yoongi’s vision is restored when he pulls Yoongi’s hands away from his face. The touch brings colour to Yoongi’s face, he can feel it.

“You sound really stressed out. Maybe coffee isn’t what you need, chamomile tea might be the way forward,” he giggles again, letting go of Yoongi’s hands. “Also, since you’re a senior, you must be older than me. Can I call you hyung?”

“Um, sure?” This earns him another bright smile.

Inexplicably, Yoongi has a feeling that he’s going to enjoy working with Jimin.

--

A few days later and Yoongi is setting up his camera, checking his watch for the time every few minutes even though everything is running perfectly on time. He had booked a studio to film all of his sessions in, making sure there’s a bathroom just next door so his volunteers don’t have to go far to clean up.

Jimin arrives just on time, in the instructed outfit; Yoongi told all his volunteers to dress as though they were going on a date, and their shirt must be black. It looks best on camera.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Jimin gives him a little wave, as he walks through the open studio door. He looks just as cute as when Yoongi had seen him a few days ago. Maybe even better.

“Good.” Yoongi notes that Jimin’s carrying a sports bag. “Been at class?”

“Yeah,” Jimin sighs, “Been a long day. One of my teachers is really riding my ass.”

The choice of words makes the corner of Yoongi’s mouth twitch. “If you want to postpone, we can? I don’t want you to be too tired.”

“I’m okay! I have a lot of stamina,” Jimin grins, and Yoongi does have to hide his smile behind his hand this time.

“Alright. Do you have the form I gave you?” Jimin nods, immediately going to rummage in his bag. He brings out the form, creased at the staple. It looks well read, which eases Yoongi’s mind a little.

“All signed. Everything looks fine, it’s very thorough,” Jimin says as he hands it over. He pushes his hands into his pockets, and this is the first time that Yoongi has seen him standing up. They’re the same height, but with different body proportions for sure.

Yoongi checks it over while Jimin dumps his bag in the corner of the room. From an artistic standpoint, he’s really excited to film Jimin here. He already has a feeling that the film is gonna turn out great.

He hands him the vibrator in a box with some unflavoured lube, giving him what he hopes is a polite, congenial smile, before leaving him alone to set up the camera. He does not think about Jimin fingering himself in the bathroom.

The vibe itself is small, easy to clean, but with lots of settings that can be controlled with the remote in Yoongi’s hand. He checks the setup carefully; the backdrop is black, and the table is small and white, one chair set behind it. Jimin has left his book on the table.

When Jimin returns, he smiles at Yoongi, only looking a tiny bit nervous. “You can sit just there,” Yoongi says as he indicates towards the chair.

Jimin sits down, shifting just a tiny bit, and picking up the book.

“So, you’ll introduce yourself, say your name, and then the name and author of the book,” Yoongi continues, checking the camera one last time, and pressing record. He’ll edit off any excess at the beginning and end later, anyway. “Alright?” He sits down in his chair next to the camera, out of shot, of course.

Jimin nods. “Yeah, that’s fine. Should I just... start right away?”

Yoongi gives him a thumbs up, and Jimin clears his throat.

“Hello, I’m Jimin, and I’ll be reading ‘One Day’ by David Nicholls.” Jimin smiles politely, and opening the book to his chosen passage as instructed, begins to read.

“‘The fact was Em and Dex didn’t get on that well these days. More often than not he would cancel their meetings…’”

Letting Jimin read undisturbed for a moment,  Yoongi thinks that Jimin has a pretty speaking voice, calming, nice to listen to. He may be biased but he thinks he’d buy an audiobook if Jimin made one.

He switches the vibrator on to the lowest setting to no reaction really. Jimin was expecting it, after all, and this isn’t strange reaction based on the other subjects. Jimin doesn’t even stutter, smoothly reading on.

“‘They spoke to each other in strange, strangulated voices…’”

It’s bad for Yoongi to look at Jimin like he’s attractive, he knows. Definitely frowned upon for him to want to touch a volunteer. Behind the camera and holding the remote he’s in a position of power. And yet, turning the vibrator up a notch, Yoongi finds himself watching Jimin far more carefully than his other filming subjects. Jimin just presses his lips together for a moment at a natural pause, his voice only wavering a little.

“‘Their friendship was like a wilted bunch of flowers that she insisted on…’” If he looks close, Yoongi can see that Jimin is fidgeting with his fingers on the book where he’s holding down the pages. The room is so quiet, every movement of the paper is an audible rustle.

Yoongi checks the time. Two minutes gone. He ups the vibrations again, eyes on the tiny crease between Jimin’s eyebrows.

“‘Sleek and matt black in shirt and suit, a little trillby-style hat perched…’”

There slowly starts to be longer pauses where he would naturally take breath at commas and ends of sentences. It sounds like he’s considering the material. It’s cute, actually. His breathing is also a little louder. There’s a sigh, as if Jimin could be tired or frustrated, but the expression on his face is still pretty neutral. He’s doing a great job, Yoongi kind of wants to praise him. The boy clears his throat.

“‘Current high profile, large salary and popular appeal were a kind of artistic compromise…’”

Yoongi guesses he’s read about two pages now, more than some of the other people he’s filmed for sure. There’s about five settings left on the vibrator, and Yoongi lets him get used to the current one for a moment more before turning it up again. He doesn’t want to let the video get too long, as wonderful it would be to have Jimin do this for half an hour, an hour, tortured by pleasurable vibrations.

“She-she huffed and hung up on him, and from a-across the road…’” Soft little sighs and hitching breaths slip out as Jimin begins to struggle with his words. At the same time Yoongi feels like he’s struggling, too. Jimin really does look like a picture - the camera didn’t film under the table, but Yoongi could see, see Jimin’s legs pressed together tightly. And it was Yoongi that was controlling his gratification; this thought has heat trickling down his spine.

There’s a quaver in Jimin’s voice now, a breathy quality. “‘He-hm. Slipped it into his pocket and kissed ha-her cheek…’”

Half a giggle escaped him as he shifts in his seat. Embarrassed, maybe? It’s very endearing, and Yoongi can’t help but smile, covering his mouth and trying to suppress it. The next setting on the vibe is pretty violent, Yoongi knows, but he turns it on quickly, trying not to think about how excited he is to see Jimin fall apart.

“‘It’s not- ah! 1988 anymore, Em-’”

Jimin continues reading the dialogue, despite the loud pants and a sudden increase in the volume of his speech. He suddenly arches up over the table a little, lifting up off of the chair; when he settles back down he does it very slowly, voice returning almost to normal. Almost. Yoongi is glad that he’s started to be this affected. He looks pleasured, sensual almost, the way he moves his fingers and flexes his shoulders a little.

“‘Well, that’ll, make a change…’”

Yoongi notices that Jimin is focusing less on the words now, less intonation in his voice. Occasionally little high pitched noises escape.

“‘And! They stood hm-for a moment in. In silence…’” The prettiest pink colour is creeping up the skin of his neck from his sweater, and high on his cheekbones. It’s a shame the end video won’t show it, because it’ll be in black and white, but Yoongi thanks whatever god put him here so he could witness it. He almost mindlessly flicks up to the next setting.

One hand thuds down on the table, Jimin holds back a noise behind lips tightly pressed together, closing his eyes and tilting his head back a little. He remains like that for a good ten seconds, before slowly relaxing down, bringing his hand back to the book again. He grips it tight, his knuckles white, breathing picking up.

“‘H-he took her, um, hands and, hah, held them out- out to the side...’” Shifts, his lips pouting a little, speeding up

His words are starting to become more of a slur, voice deepening a little. At the back of his mind, Yoongi thinks that this might be what Jimin sounds like when he talks when he’s getting fucked, and he really, really hopes that it doesn’t show on his face how turned on he is just watching. Especially when they make eye contact, just for a second,

“Oh,” Jimin says, very quietly as one of his hands moves again to grip the edge of the table tightly. Yoongi can hear every breath he takes, shuddering little gasps in the silence of the room. His whole body starts trembling, and he grabs at his chair, this time, lifting himself up. “Oh, oh.”

It takes him much longer to get a grip on himself this time. Yoongi thinks it may be coming to an end. Must be, from the way Jimin is shaking.

“Mmm,” he sighs, and Yoongi’s toes curl in his sneakers. Yoongi bites his bottom lip.

“‘They begin to walk, hm, through the crowds- ah, ah!...’” Jimin squeals a little, his mouth falling open and head going back, forgetting the book entirely and letting it fall shut as his hands fly out to grip the sides of the table.

“Ah, fu- oh, oh,” he cries softly, and Yoongi has a strong feeling that he would be a lot louder if it weren’t for the camera and the silence of the room. “Oh my god, uh!” He squirms, and Yoongi goes cold and then very, very hot when Jimin starts to rock back and forth on the chair, and then up and down a little, riding the vibrator. He must be really near the edge. Yoongi stays silent.

Jimin’s eyes are screwed shut, making lovely little sighs and gasps and then outright moans as he bends over the table slightly, lifting himself off the chair and dropping back down, lifting his hips. He can’t keep quiet or still at all, grabbing at the chair, the table, anything but himself, just as instructed.

Then, throwing his head back and looking like the most stunning mess, Jimin comes with a beautiful high pitched moan, jerking a few times. He closes his eyes and slumps afterwards, visibly trembling and breathing unsteadily. A weak little giggle slips out, and he looks up and makes eye contact with Yoongi who has to collect himself fast, closing his mouth that had been hanging open a little.

It’s like there’s white noise in his mind, and he wasn’t even the one who got to come. He clears his throat. “You okay?” he asks Jimin, and receives a dazed little smile in response.

“Yeah,” Jimin sighs, and the expression on his face looks… satisfied. Yoongi remembers to turn the vibrator off. “That didn’t take as long as I expected. That thing is powerful.”

“You can have as long as you want to get yourself together,” Yoongi coughs, and turns his attention to the camera, stopping the recording and checking everything over. He wants to get the film on his computer and back it up. He would die if he lost this film.

In the corner of his eye he sees Jimin stretching leisurely, standing up and wandering back out presumably to the bathroom. Hopefully he brought spare underwear. Transferring Yoongi’s files takes a minute so he sets it up to run while he dismantles the set for the next person to use, and when Jimin gets back - looking much more put together - he’s almost finished.

“Was the footage okay, hyung?” he asks Yoongi. His voice and the way he says the honorific makes the hairs on the back of Yoongi’s neck stand up, the memory of the sound of his pretty moans still echoing in his head. He swallows the feeling down.

“Yeah, it’s great. Thanks so much for participating,” Yoongi says honestly. “Wait a moment and I’ll get you your compensation.” He quickly grabs the envelope with a little bit of cash in it from his bag, walking back over to give it to Jimin. When he takes it, their hands brush together and Yoongi forces himself to not flinch away.

“It was more fun than I thought,” Jimin replies, smiling a little mischievously. Yoongi blushes. “It was… exhilarating, I think is the word? Like… freeing.” His body language is still relaxed which makes Yoongi relax a little too; it makes him happy that Jimin seems to be so happy. His other volunteers had been a little awkward after, leaving as soon as they could get out of the door, but Jimin doesn’t seem to be in any kind of rush.

“Uh, how are you getting home? Will you get home okay on your own, or do you want me to take you?”

Jimin shakes his head. “No, I live ten minutes across campus, I’ll be okay!”

Yoongi hesitates. It’s not late, exactly, but he’d still consider Jimin to be a little vulnerable right now. “I’d still like to walk you home. If that doesn’t make you uncomfortable or anything.”

“Really?” Jimin looks at him, and Yoongi feels like he’s under a microscope being examined. “Okay, I guess I wouldn’t mind some company. Do you need a little more time?”

“No, just a minute, let me just grab my equipment and lock it up,” Yoongi says, hurrying to get his things and not leave Jimin waiting. He packs up quickly, and regrets that his hands are full so he can’t help Jimin with his bag because he needs to take stuff home.

“So when do you think you’ll be finished with all this?” Jimin asks on the way downstairs. His hair is messy from running his fingers through it during recording and he giggles when he catches sight of himself in the glass at the front of the building, going to fix it.

“I guess the general answer to that is graduation. This film part should be finished in like, a month and a half? I’m handing it all in in three months,” Yoongi sighs. Thinking about his final deadline always fills him with a sense of dread.

“Well, I believe in you! Try not to get too worried or anything, I know it’s hard.” Jimin squeezes his arm reassuringly. Yoongi has to catch himself before he gives a dopey smile back.

The walk home is quiet, a gentle breeze running through the trees planted around the campus gardens and Jimin’s hair. They don’t talk much; Yoongi is a little afraid to break the silence. Yet he can’t help but look at Jimin out of the corner of his eye. He’s tilting his head back, eyes closed, in order to feel the breeze better. Campus is pretty dark but the lights they pass catch on Jimin’s bone structure, the sheen of his hair. It’s unfair how pretty he is, and that Yoongi’s going to have to say goodbye to him here. Unless he asks for his number, of course.

This brings on a whole new dilemma, and Yoongi wars with himself on whether he should do that, how bad it would be. Ethically, it’s questionable. Email is always the most professional way to contact someone. He can’t get any ideas about one of his volunteers.

Before he knows it, they’re stood in front of Jimin’s dorm. “This is me. Thank you for walking me home,” Jimin says warmly. He’s starting to look a little sleepy. It doesn’t help Yoongi’s current predicament, how adorable he looks.

“Thank you. Again. It means a lot.” Pulling the strap of his bag up his shoulder, Yoongi shifts from foot to foot.

Jimin waves it away, smiling. “It’s really no problem. If you ever need any more help, feel free to ask!” He turns to go, and Yoongi panics.

“Wait! Jimin, um,” Yoongi flails. “I- Could I get your number? It’s- It would be more convenient. If I wanted to ask you for help again.” He winces. What a mess. He’s going to hate himself so much for this.

There’s another moment where Yoongi feels like he’s being examined, judged. Jimin is quiet for at least thirty seconds whilst Yoongi squirms under his gaze. He knows for a fact that his ears are turning red. Then, when he opens his mouth to retract his request, Jimin finally speaks.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Yoongi fumbles with the word for a moment before he realises that Jimin is looking at him expectantly. Right, his phone. “You can just, um, put it in here.”

Jimin enters his phone number quickly and hands the device back to Yoongi who just holds it in his hand like an idiot. “Text me whenever!” Jimin says over his shoulder as he runs up the steps to his building, waving in Yoongi’s direction.

Oh no , Yoongi thinks eloquently.

--

Yoongi is feeling confident about his project. It’s looking really good so far, he thinks, and he’s written some essays he’s really proud of and completed one of the other parts of the project already that’s based on photography - one of the mediums that comes easy to him. Even putting together the physical portfolio hasn’t been that difficult since he’s so excited to do it.

The film part is going well and he even managed to get the ten volunteers he needs, with another two more lined up to film still. Jimin had actually been the one to find them, had asked lots of people to participate for him (apparently Jimin is very convincing; somehow Yoongi can see it), and Yoongi is eternally grateful. In fact, Jimin texts him often to see how it’s going with filming, with the project in general, with classes. None of the other participants have done that, nobody’s shown that much interest in the project past getting the money for it post filming.

One afternoon, Jimin actually asks him to meet up and talk about it over coffee, and Yoongi agrees because he does want to see him again, can’t really help himself. He tells himself that he just wants to buy Jimin a coffee for helping so much with the volunteers. A good excuse.

“Hi, How’s it going?” Yoongi greets Jimin where he’s stood outside of the cafe just across from the arts building, leaning against the wall. He looks effortlessly gorgeous, like a model or something, which is wholly unfair.

“Good, you? How did the recording go the other day?” Jimin asks, running a hand through his hair. Yoongi doesn’t stare.

“Fine, short, the volunteer was a girl and those always seem to take longer? I have a huge array of footage now, lots of different participants, I think it looks good. Haven’t edited it yet though,” Yoongi rambles, and a glance at Jimin sees that he looks interested, but he still kind of hates babbling about himself. “Um, sorry. I promise I won’t talk about it the whole time.”

Jimin shakes his head, looking amused. “I like hearing about it! Don’t worry about that, honestly.” He touches Yoongi’s arm reassuringly. “Anyway, I’m starving, let’s order food.”

They enter the cafe, and Yoongi orders a coffee and cake, a little blindsided because he didn’t realise that they were having lunch. It weirdly makes him feel like it’s more of a date. He’s so paranoid.

Jimin orders a hot sandwich, exclaiming, “I love being able to order what I want.”

“Yeah, it’s great moving out of your parents’ house,” Yoongi says. It was a weight off his shoulders when he finally moved out, his parents pretty unsupportive as well as quietly homophobic, so he identifies with the feeling.

Jimin’s lips quirk up. “Something like that.”

As they sit down and tuck into their food, Yoongi very aware of the lack of distance between them on the comfortable seat they chose. “When do your exams start?” he asks Jimin in an attempt to make small talk.

Jimin hums, absently watching the people behind the counter prepare his coffee. “They’re pretty late, I’m not too worried. I don’t have any big cool projects like you, hyung.” he says with a grin, returning his gaze to Yoongi. For some reason this makes Yoongi redden.

“It’s not- How do you know it’s gonna be cool? You haven’t seen it yet,” he splutters a little. Jimin shrugs.

“I think it will be. I’ve heard your ideas and they’re really great. I’m looking forward to reading the stuff you write to accompany it.” He giggles a little. “And watch my video, of course.”

The idea of watching that video again has the back of Yoongi’s neck getting hot. He’s been trying to avoid the images of Jimin in that chair that are burned into his mind since they filmed, he really doesn’t know how he’s going to handle seeing it all again. They sit down with their food at a table, opposite each other.

Jimin continues speaking, unaware of Yoongi’s mini-crisis. “You’ll have to tell me when you edit it.”

Yoongi clears his throat. “Yeah, I will. I’ve got a lot to write, project wise too, but I think you might find it a bit boring. To read, not- not to watch your video, I mean.” He winces at himself. “Also, I might do some interviews of my participants, if any of them are willing to do that. Ideally they’d all write essays about their experiences,” Yoongi jokes.

“I definitely would!” Jimin says brightly around a mouthful of sandwich that puffs out his cheeks. Swallowing, he continues. “What would you want from an essay?”

“I- are you serious? I wasn’t trying to hint-”

Jimin waves away his panic. “I’m offering! I wouldn’t mind writing about it to be honest, it was an interesting experience.”

“Oh my god,” Yoongi blinks at him. This is too great an opportunity. “That would be amazing. Don’t feel like you need to make it too long or anything, I know you have your own stuff to work on for classes and everything else.”

“Okay, I’ll start on it asap. You can rely on me, hyung!”

They sit and talk for a while after, Jimin telling him about a class he hates, his ridiculous friends, something funny that happened to Hoseok in class the other day that Yoongi will definitely use against him in the future. Hoseok and Jimin seem to be closer friends than he previously thought. Jimin actually has a rather cheeky sense of humour when it comes to his friends, and he laughs at Yoongi’s jokes, too, which quite ridiculously makes Yoongi feel warm to his toes. When he reluctantly has to leave for class they’ve already been sat for two and a half hours, and he feels lighter and almost less burdened. Jimin says goodbye with a promise to start on his essay as soon as possible and meet up with Yoongi very soon, waving at Yoongi through the window of the shop.

--

Afterwards in his apartment when he sits with his friends playing Mario Kart and drinking beer, Hoseok says it sounds like a date.

“I’m serious, hyung, that really sounds like a coffee date. Or lunch date, whatever.”

“It wasn’t,” Yoongi grumbles. “Stop saying that.”

“Why? Don’t you want to date him? He’s pretty cute.”

Yoongi thinks about it for a moment. “I don’t really know him too well.”

Hobi rolls his eyes. “Lots of people don’t know each other before they start dating. Didn’t Joon get asked out that one time in the supermarket? They dated for three months, if I remember right.”

He’s right. But. “But I can’t date him, Seok, what if the department thinks I’m using this project to sleep with people?” Yoongi finally voices his fears. “The school can’t see me dating one of the volunteers! They made me sign loads of clauses and stuff.”

Hoseok levels him with a heavy gaze. “Just don’t tell them then? Or wait? And you’d be dating him, not just sleeping with him, right?” He squints at Yoongi. “Right? Because Jiminie is very sweet and I’ll be very angry with you if you use him.”

“Of course not!” Yoongi practically squeaks. God, the idea of Hobi being after him for hurting Jimin is terrifying. He shudders. “I wouldn’t.”

“Good. I think he had a bad breakup not that long ago too, so he definitely doesn’t need to be dealing with any of that bullshit right now.” Hoseok whips his head up to look at Yoongi. “You didn’t hear that from me, by the way.”

Yoongi shifts. This is definitely new information. “What do you mean?”

Hoseok sighs, rubbing a hand through his hair. “It’s not really my story to tell, but I think his last boyfriend wasn’t very nice. Controlling, from what I’ve heard. Maybe if you do want to date him you should ask him about it,” he says seriously.

Yoongi nods, fingers coming up to rub at his lips in a nervous tic. He’s realising that he doesn’t know Jimin very well at all, actually, and though he’s interested, everything is just such a risk. Jimin is sweet and a good person, though, he’d be blind not to see that. The last thing he wants to do is fuck with him. He decides that the best course forward is to just ignore the issue and try not to think about it too much. Maybe, he thinks wryly, if he ignores the way his heart flutters when Jimin speaks it’ll go away.

--

Needless to say, his plan doesn’t really work. Meeting Jimin becomes a regular thing in the coffee shop where Jimin likes to do homework, his notes spread out in front of him for different subjects and looking like the epitome of a college student working hard. And he does work hard - Yoongi knows that he gets some of the highest grades in all of his classes, Jimin had told him shyly one day. How smart he is just makes him all the more attractive in Yoongi’s eyes.

A full three weeks after their first lunch, Yoongi finally edits the footage from Jimin’s video, leaving it until last. He hopes that he’ll be desensitised, watching the process so many times, and tired from editing for so long. So far, though, he’s proud of the final products. There’s a lot of themes he can see himself writing about in his justifications, and he’s been taking notes alongside his editing.

But he does have to edit Jimin’s video eventually. Just before he opens the file, he stretches and cracks his neck. He’s pretty exhausted, and excited to go to bed after this. Starting the video, he focuses on Jimin’s face. He chops the beginning so it starts at the correct point, and then makes himself comfortable to watch the rest. It’s necessary, he tells himself, because he needs to know where to cut the end.

Watching Jimin fall apart all over again is so difficult. When Yoongi was there he had to restrain himself completely - despite the burning desire to help Jimin with his own hands and maybe his cock. Now he’s alone in his room and Jimin looks absolutely exquisite. Everything is so high definition despite the grayscale, and Yoongi admires all over again the purse of Jimin’s mouth, the way he tries to control his voice despite how good it must feel.

“‘...pressing her, huh, cheek against his…’”

Jimin whines, and Yoongi considers pausing the video. He’s more than half hard in his pants, but he’d feel so guilty if he got himself off to this. Jimin didn’t agree to that.

Swallowing heavily, he makes it through the video editing without touching himself, cutting the end robotically whilst ignoring his arousal. Guilt makes his head ache, and he can feel a migraine coming.

When he finishes up there’s a text waiting for him from no other than Jimin, who’s asking him (with a lot of aegyo) to go get chinese noodles with him, and Yoongi hates the shame settling in his stomach in a knot that he can’t shift. He considers not answering, saying he was busy and trying to distance himself a little; those few minutes must be too long for poor impatient Jimin because his phone is ringing in his hand.

“Hello?”

“Why aren’t you answering me? I’m hungry,” Jimin whines, making the corners of Yoongi’s mouth twitch up against his will.

Yoongi tries to keep the tension out of his voice. He’s not entirely sure it works. “I’m a little busy right now, Jimin-ah.”

“Oh, really? What are you doing, hyung?” Did Jimin’s voice just drop a little, or was that Yoongi’s imagination?

“Just editing.”

“Editing? Are you editing the reading videos?” There’s an implication there somewhere, an are you editing my video? , and Yoongi feels his cheeks heat up. It doesn’t help that he’s still basically half hard. He tries to make it go away with pure will, but Jimin’s lowered voice in his ear doesn’t really help.

“Um.”

Jimin chuckles. “I’ll take that as a yes. How was it?”

“It was… fine. I’m finished now,” Yoongi says, still trying to maintain his cool.

“You finished?”

Again with that voice. Yoongi’s never had a thing for a voice before. He shivers; he’s not sure he can keep up with this conversation.

“I- I’m not sure yet.” That’s the best he can do, not knowing what Jimin is doing, whether he’s messing around or not.

“Hm, when you do you should let me know. Give me a call.”

“I’ll let you know when I’m done so you can watch, yeah,” he sighs.

“Yeah, done. Or during, whatever.” Yoongi is certainly out of his depth. Whatever game this is is hard to play. “Don’t worry about food, hyung, if you’re busy. Can’t have you distracted from work, it’s already so hard.”

Yoongi swallows and stays silent. Jimin might sense his distress, because when he next speaks his voice is softened. “Make sure you do eat though, hyung.”

“I will.” Yoongi swallows. “I’ll order something. When I’m done.”

“Good.” There’s a period of silence, and Yoongi has to check whether the call is still connected. “I gotta go and get my own food then. I’ll speak to you later?”

“Sure.”

Cursing, Yoongi heads for a cold shower.

--

It’s the end of the week, and it’s been a long few days. Long week. Long year, really, but whatever. Anyway, Yoongi is making steady progress with his final project; the same can’t be said of Hoseok who is cracking under the pressure of his finals. This manifests in him drinking in an attempt to cope; Namjoon and Yoongi know that it’s not serious, but they assign themselves to different nights to keep Hobi company. Most of the time Yoongi doesn’t drink, but this Jimin issue is really starting to weigh on him. Tonight Hoseok manages to persuade him.

It’s a Saturday , he tells himself, it’s fine .

The thing is. He and Jimin talk almost every day, and Yoongi would even go as far to say that they are actually friends now. But whenever they meet, Yoongi can’t help but think that he gets brighter and more beautiful. In turn Jimin’s laugh never fails to brighten Yoongi’s afternoon. It’s kind of horrible, because he obviously has a raging crush on the pretty boy, but he can’t do anything about it. On top of that, Hobi’s words about Jimin’s ex are ringing in his head constantly, and Jimin hasn’t ever mentioned the guy. Yoongi would ask, but he doesn’t want to seem nosy and intrusive.

Hoseok drinks a lot when he drinks to cope. Normally this wasn’t the case at all, the guy having a fairly low tolerance and preferring to dance if they go clubbing instead of getting wasted at the bar. Tonight, though, he is truly wasted, and apparently intent on dragging Yoongi down with him.

And Yoongi, he should have left his phone somewhere he could only find it in the morning.

Yoongi

hey

Because he is definitely going to regret this.

Jimin

hey, what’s up? you’re up late  (゜ロ゜)

Yoongi

im kind of drunk ngl

what are you doing up

Jimin

oh, hahaha

im writing your essay

Yoongi

oh really? hows it going so far?

Jimin

good

really good

Yoongi has a vague idea to try and talk to Jimin the way Jimin had on the phone the other way, teasingly, but he can’t quite wrap his brain around a way to do that.

Yoongi

oh

Jimin

yeah

i have lots of interesting thoughts

Yoongi

want to share?

Jimin

what do you want to know

you’ll read the essay soon i promise （*＾3＾）

Yoongi

was it fun?

waitt you kinda told me that already

Jimin

yeah

but it was really interesting

i thought maybe it would be hard having you watch me

intimidating, maybe, or scary

but it was fine

crazy for me, considering.

This makes drunk Yoongi irrationally happy. He doesn’t really understand what ‘considering’ means but he wriggles where he’s sitting on his bed anyway because he’s so pleased.

Yoongi

really?

Jimin

maybe more than fine

Oh, shit. It sounds like Jimin is trying to fluster him once again, and Yoongi can barely respond to this kind of thing sober. His face gets hot.

Yoongi

oh

Jimin

really? why?

Yoongi

Jimin-ah

its bad if i seem like i was hitting on you

Jimin

you didnt seem like it though

dont worry i wont get you into trouble  (･ω<)☆

Yoongi has the distinct thought in his hazy mind that he’s fucking up somehow. He doesn’t want to turn Jimin away, even if he’s joking. Maybe this is the time to tell Jimin how worried he’s been about this.

Yoongi

its okay

sorry its just been stressing me out

i dont want you to think i was taking advantage

Jimin

oh?

why would i think that?

Yoongi

because its unprofessional

Jimin

what is? (*ﾟｪﾟ*)

Yoongi

me wanting you

Jimin

you want me?

Fuck. This might be going too far. But Jimin’s question draws more question marks in Yoongi’s mind. Draws him in further.

Yoongi

oh shit

im sorry

wait

was that not obvious

Jimin

hmm, not really

i thought it was more obvious that ive been

flirting with you for nearly a month

Yoongi’s breath stutters. Is Jimin drunk too? Is it real? He’s so bold, so far from Yoongi. It feels like Yoongi is being called out. His head starts swimming, the alcohol inhibiting him from thinking properly. Jimin has sent him more messages, and they only make him flail more.

Jimin

is that too much? im sorry

you said it first

Yoongi

what

i mean

i didnt know

wait, no

i just didnt think you were serious

Jimin

why wouldnt i be

Yoongi

i dont know

Jimin

omg

okay yeah im serious

when we were filming it was difficult not to

 ask you to help me

Yoongi

oh

that would have ruined the take

Jimin

yeah  (*´I`*)

Yoongi

i wanted to though

you were so pretty

i havent wanted to do that to a volunteer before

Jimin

i’d hoped for that

but now im curious

what would you have done?

Yoongi

with you, when we filmed?

Jimin

yeah

Yoongi isn’t thinking anymore.

Yoongi

bent you over that table

Jimin

fuck me in front of a rolling camera? kinky

Yoongi

are you not into that

Jimin

i am, i think

its new

Yoongi

oh

good

i wondered if you’d sound different if you were getting fucked

wanted to find out

Jimin

im not sure, you’d have to try  (･ω<)☆

im sure that im loud though

i’ve used vibrators plenty before

but that was better

Yoongi

i could see that

oh

Jimin

what would you do

Yoongi

eat you out while you still have the vibrator inside

not let you touch yourself while i fuck you

lots of things

Jimin

oh

fuck

yoongi

Yoongi

yeah

Jimin

i want that

i also wanna touch myself

right now

do you

Yoongi

a little

watching your video back got me hard earlier

Jimin

wow

was it that good

did you get off

Yoongi

no i felt too guilty

Jimin

i wouldnt mind

Yoongi

no?

Jimin

no

apparently i like being watched

i havent really been allowed to think about

   smth like this before

Yoongi

i wanna watch you

watch you touch this time

Jimin

i look pretty similar to the video right now

sat at my desk

touching

Yoongi

i bet you look so good

im only on my bed

wish i was there

Jimin

wish you were too

hyung

im close

Yoongi

me too

Yoongi has to put his phone down to properly get a hand around his cock and start jerking off. It’s a lot, his brain fuzzy but catching on to the image of Jimin in that chair once more. Then in Yoongi’s head he’s bent over the table, taking Yoongi’s cock and begging for it. Jimin explicitly flirting with him in combination to his drunkenness has done something to his brain, let something go, so he doesn’t hesitate to start fondling the tip of his cock, eventually gripping himself just the way he likes and stroking. It doesn’t take him long to get off thinking about Jimin, gorgeous Jimin. Thinking about trying to best the vibrator that made him feel so good, about Jimin saying that it wasn’t his first time with one, about Jimin using one on himself.

Yoongi comes to that image in his mind, letting out a low groan and going slack afterwards. Reaching for his phone, he frowns at it for a moment before giving up because of how blurry it is, his eyes falling closed.

--

The next morning Yoongi wakes up in dirty underwear and filled with regret. He can’t believe he’d embarrass himself like that. It feels fucking awful, guilt and embarrassment and frustration welling up inside him once again. He’d been doing so well in not confessing, too.

Now he would get in horrible trouble with the department if they found out, surely. And Jimin. Fuck, Jimin probably thinks he’s a sleazy asshole. He has no reason not to believe that he didn’t do this with all his volunteers. It’s so bad. The worst part is that he might have - maybe - had a chance with Jimin, just maybe, after he’d finished with the project and didn’t need to be careful with everything. Before he had dared to hope, to not dwelling on the thought too much out of worry. Now he thinks it’s unlikely.

Checking his phone is a necessary task but he puts it off for a few minutes for the sake of his sanity, having to build up the bravery necessary. Jimin’s last texts from the night before make him wince.

Jimin

fuck

you still there?

yoongi?

?

sweet dreams, hyung

Then this morning’s make him scramble to put on underwear.

Jimin

hey im bringing coffee to your place  ヾ(☆▽☆)

im five minutes away and i’ll make your roommate up with my ringing

two minutes

Yoongi has just finished pulling on sweatpants when his phone buzzes again.

im here

Yoongi is halfway to the door when the doorbell rings, the loud noise making him wince. There’s a headache preparing to settle just behind his eyes, and he really needs some water and to brush his teeth. He has to take a deep, steadying breath before he opens the door, because he’s certainly not ready for the conversation he’s about to have.

In contrast to Yoongi, Jimin is stood on the other side looking fresh and certainly not hungover. He’s holding two cups of coffee and Yoongi can’t help but groan at the fantastic smell, rich and warm and attracting his attention immediately. When Jimin hands him a cup he steps back and lets him in, the coffee putting him in a trance.

“It’s from my favourite shop, it’s good.” Walking through to the living room, Jimin glances around. Yoongi follows him, swallowing around a dry throat, coffee still too hot to be drunk.

“Uh, thanks. Do you wanna, uh, talk in my room? My roommate is still here…” Yoongi says while rubbing the back of his neck. Jimin nods and Yoongi leads the way.

“Your apartment is nice,” Jimin says, tone light and indecipherable. Yoongi mumbles an agreement and indicates that Jimin can sit with him on his bed. “So, how’s your head?”

“Not great. I appreciate the lowered volume and the coffee, really.” Actually Yoongi’s hangover is seriously starting to set in now, the dehydration a heavy feeling in his chest and a sick feeling in his stomach. Or maybe it’s just dread.

“No problem. I wanted to come over anyway after last night. You must have been really drunk, huh,” Jimin mumbles wryly.

Yoongi winces again. “Yeah, I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything. You don’t have to ever text me again, you can block my number if you want to.”

Jimin laughs, startling Yoongi. “What are you talking about?”

“Huh?”

Sipping his coffee, Jimin frowns at Yoongi over his cup. His eyes are sharp, but he doesn’t look angry. “It was completely reciprocal. And I wouldn’t block you, anyway,” he says, sounding confused.

Furrowing his brow, Yoongi tries to catch up with Jimin’s almost casual tone. “I know, but it was pretty unprofessional of me. I mean. I meant what I said, about getting into trouble and taking advantage of you. That would be- really really bad.”

“Yeah,” Jimin crosses his legs and runs a hand through his hair. “I know, I get that, it makes sense. But I’m not filming with you anymore, haven’t for a month. And… we’re friends right? I would consider us friends. So why should it matter now?”

“It’s just… the school wouldn’t see it that way, I think. And... I wouldn’t like you to think I was using the project to pick up guys or something.” Yoongi shifts forward so their knees are touching, legs crossed. He hopes he doesn’t smell too bad. “I really hate that I’ve gotten myself into this situation. It feels like I fucked up.”

“Hyung, you didn’t. I don’t believe you’re taking advantage of me, anyway. Believe me, I know what that feels like, and you’re not doing it. And I’d tell the school that if they asked, which they won’t, by the way.”

Jimin sounds so confident, looks so sure of himself. Yoongi wants that confidence. “Oh. You… I’m glad?”

Humming, Jimin picks at a loose thread on Yoongi’s sweats. “I’ve thought a little about this, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“Well, I know that you’re... interested, in me.” Yoongi splutters, cheeks turning a hot shade of red instantly. “And I think you’re really cute. So I think we could come up with a mutual arrangement that is… beneficial.”

Frowning, Yoongi contemplates the meaning of his words. It certainly isn’t a love confession. “What do you mean?”

“I’m just saying I think we could help each other out. Since the attraction is mutual.”

“Oh.” Disappointment washes over Yoongi like a slow wave. Clearly Jimin wants some kind of friends-with-benefits situation, not to date or anything like that. Not exactly what Yoongi had been thinking, hoping for, for sure.

Jimin must sense his hesitance. “Listen… Recently I got out of a really bad relationship with someone I now realise is a really nasty guy. And I think- think you could help me get over that.”

“With sex?” Yoongi says bluntly before thinking, and promptly blushes. Apparently his filter is nonexistent right now.

Another laugh bubbles out of Jimin’s mouth. His cheeks flush a little too, right at the high points. It’s disarming how endearing he is, making it even harder to gather his thoughts. “Yeah. Sex is- it can be important, in the way you view yourself. Like… your self worth. Or maybe it’s not for other people, but it is for me.” He rests his hand on Yoongi’s knee. “You don’t have to! I just thought- you like me…” He bites his lip, and just stops and looks at Yoongi like he’s waiting for him to speak.

He’s overwhelmed by all of this information, but apparently Yoongi has a decision to make. On one hand, he’s scared that if he says no he’ll not have a chance with Jimin ever; it’s selfish ideology, he knows. And he really, really does want him that way. Also, he can’t escape the feeling that he doesn’t have all of the information he needs, but he doesn’t want to make Jimin talk about it more if it hurts.

“I don’t know what to say,” Yoongi says slowly. It’s a bit too much pressure, too much for him to deal with in his current state. His head is positively throbbing.

“We don’t have to do anything now! Obviously we don’t want you to get into trouble, either.” There’s a twinkle in Jimin’s eye when he smiles, even if he looks a little worried, and Yoongi’s heart beats double time. There really is something about Jimin that’s just hard to resist.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Jimin looks startled. “You don’t sound so sure.”

“I-” He’s not. “I’m sure. As long as we do wait until hand in, or whatever. At least I can keep a clear conscience that way.”

The grin that stretches on Jimin’s face is bright yet wicked. His hand slides a little further up Yoongi’s thigh, and Yoongi wonders what exactly he’s gotten himself into.

“You’ll hand in in just in a couple of weeks, right?” Jimin appears hopeful, excited even.

“Yeah, I will,” he replies hesitantly. Squeezing Yoongi’s thigh once, Jimin stands up and straightens his clothes. He flashes Yoongi another smile. Or maybe it’s more of a smirk.

“Work hard, hyung! I’m gonna go work on your essay again, and some school stuff. I’ll text you, yeah?” Picking up his long forgotten coffee he walks out the door, swaying his hips just a little more than usual, Yoongi’s sure. “Bye!”

And then he’s gone, a whirlwind that Yoongi can’t quite catch hold of.

“Bye,” Yoongi says dumbly, sure Jimin can’t hear him. What a day, and he’d only just woken up.

--

The next two weeks are weird for Yoongi. He has to finish the project, the deadline looming ominously, but he keeps on top of it with plenty of late nights and a love/hate relationship with photoshop. Luckily for him Hoseok starts to get a grip on himself too, swapping out his drinking habit with all nighters in the library - that’s how Yoongi knows the end of the year is fast approaching.

His relationship with Jimin changes a little, something developing slowly, a sense of ease, and he’s not quite as afraid of the prospect of something happening now. They openly flirt a lot now but it doesn’t go much further than that, harmless comments and texts here and there. It doesn’t feel like something Yoongi has to work to maintain, just a natural part of the way they speak to each other. They text less and less about the project and more about themselves, and Jimin seems to be some kind of master of finding cats on the street, all of which Yoongi receives photos of. He feels like he might be learning more about him.

Yoongi receives an email from Jimin a week and a half after the drunk sexting incident with an attached word document, which he opens to see is entitled ‘One Day: a personal experience’. It’s the essay that was promised, around a page long, and Yoongi settles down to read it immediately.

The first paragraph is a fairly basic description of what the experience was actually like, what it felt like physically, which makes him shift in his seat but he continues, engrossed in Jimin’s words. The second paragraph makes him pause for thought.

I wanted to take part in this project because I want to take control of my own self, my decisions and what I do with my body. When I saw the advert I thought about it for a few days first, was unsure whether it would be a good idea, since who knows how many people will see it.  Eventually though, I realised that it didn’t matter. I don’t want to care about what people think about me or what I do with my own body.

It turned out that it was a liberating experience.

He goes on to talk a little about his personal struggles, but not in much detail, and then to comment on the wider meaning of the project, the themes it explores in terms of society, and Yoongi is so excited to include this in his portfolio. The essay is priceless, an amazing insight into the mind of one of his volunteers and he’s kind of overwhelmed by how much he appreciates that Jimin took the time to write it. Moreover Jimin talks about Yoongi with the implication of a lot of trust, and it brings the smallest of smiles to his face.

I was surprised when Yoongi-ssi told me to choose the book; I’m out of practice with making a lot of my choices. In the end I chose ‘One Day’ by David Nicholls, because I was feeling a little bitter and the story has a lot of unhappy endings, awkwardness and hurt in love.

And so much makes sense now. Jimin hadn’t told him much about his ex-boyfriend, but Yoongi can read a lot into this essay, see how the guy had affected Jimin in such a way that he felt that he didn’t have control any more. On top of that, it makes more sense to Yoongi as to why Jimin would want a no strings attached relationship. He’s so glad he mentioned to Jimin about the volunteer essays; even if it wasn’t such a valuable addition to his portfolio and Jimin is purposefully vague about a lot of things, he feels like a lots of questions have been answered.

Yoongi definitely isn’t a violent person. But, if he ever met this ex boyfriend he’s not sure he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from punching him.

--

Any student with a final project will tell you, the feeling of handing in what they’ve been working on for a whole school year is indescribable. A weight off the shoulders, even if they’re not that confident in what they put together, they still did it, a huge achievement of research and planning and writing and referencing and just so much work.

Yoongi finishes the project with a few days to spare. Hoseok takes a photo with him holding his portfolio up right outside the art building just before he hands it in, and Yoongi lets him post it everywhere in celebration. It’s the middle of the day but they still go to get a drink in the bar down the street from his apartment, and Yoongi is on a high because god it’s finally over.

But from the moment he hands in his portfolio to his supervisor he’s thinking about Jimin. Because now they’re free to do what they want. If Jimin still wants him like that. It’s not like they get a big romantic scene; Jimin just wants to sleep with him. But the anticipation since their last conversation had built so much in Yoongi’s head it nearly drove him crazy.

He only hesitates for around ten minutes before he’s texting him.

Yoongi

Hey

Jiminie

Hey, whats up  (＾ω＾)

Yoongi

i finished up

Jiminie

really ?? well done!!

does this mean i can see now??

Yoongi

if you want

it might be a little awkward

Jiminie

lol

i wanna watch anyway  б（＞ε＜）∂

can i come round?

i have food

Yoongi

sure

i’ll never turn down food

While Jimin takes his time on the way to Yoongi’s place, Yoongi becomes a little nervous and a lot uncertain. He has no idea how to feel about watching this with Jimin, doesn’t even know if he can. His twenty minute journey has him fraught with anxiety, overthinking everything including a way to escape, but he comes up with nothing. Probably at least partly because he does really want to see Jimin, hasn’t seen him for over half a week because he was trying to finish everything up. And there’s obviously the unspoken potential intention of the visit.

Yoongi opens the door quickly after Jimin knocks. “Hey! I brought ramen, the homemade stuff. You just need to warm it up.”

“Homemade ramen? Am I in heaven?”

“Maybe,” Jimin says, grinning at him cheekily as he waits for Yoongi to show him to the kitchen. He’s only been around a couple of times before. Yoongi’s heart stutters a tiny bit at the full sight of him at the stove; Jimin is well dressed considering they’re just going to be sat at home, eating ramen. Tight jeans, blue shirt slightly askew. Yoongi can see his collar bones.

To distract himself, he asks, “Do you want a drink?”

“Sure? What are the options?” Jimin replies as he stirs the broth.

“Beer, vodka, tequila, rum, whisky,” Yoongi lists, looking in his cupboards with a slightly furrowed brow.

“Uh, just beer is fine, hyung,” Jimin says distractedly. Yoongi silently agrees on the weak drink. He doesn’t want to get drunk and embarrass himself again.

They eat at the little table that bridges the kitchen and living room, Jimin celebrating a minor good grade by saying cheers as they clink their bottles together. Afterwards he makes their drinks and then takes Jimin through to the living room, apologising for the mess that he was too preoccupied to clean up; the coffee table is full of books and papers for school, the chair next to the couch has a few jackets thrown over it.

He shifts on the couch. “So I watched the video. Y’know, to edit it, obviously.” This makes Jimin look at him expectantly.

“Was it hot?”

Yoongi blinks. “Yeah. Really hot. It was better and worse when I was there, though.”

“What do you mean?” Jimin pulls his sleeves down over his hands in a cute habit that Yoongi often noticed him doing. He wonders if it’s nerves.

Honesty, he decides, is the best policy. “Better because I could see you right there, in colour, and I was controlling the vibrator and what was happening to you,” he says, watching that pretty pink creep up on Jimin’s cheeks again. “Worse because I couldn’t touch you at all, I wasn’t ever supposed to think about you like that.”

“Oh.” Jimin is blushing and yet also shifting a little closer. He looks at Yoongi for a long moment before turning away and breaking the spell; he’s dragging Yoongi’s laptop forward on the table. “Can I watch it on this now?”

Swallowing, Yoongi nods, handing Jimin the USB stick he had been keeping in his pocket. Jimin shifts closer yet again when he’s looking for the file on his computer. Their thighs are pressed together. There’s no hesitation before he clicks on the video file.

“Do you want me to go?” Yoongi asks, kind of desperate to disappear for the next six-ish minutes. He might not have the nerve to do this after all.

“No, it’s not a big deal.” Jimin seems pretty flippant when the video starts, eyes fixed on the screen and leaning his cheek on his hand.

The first minute is fairly uneventful, and yet Yoongi still feels awkward. He fidgets a little, jiggling his leg and playing with his fingers, until Jimin absently places a hand over his to stop him. Instead of watching the video he keeps his eyes on where their hands are together, the softness of Jimin’s skin.

It doesn’t prevent him from hearing the noises though. When onscreen Jimin starts to pant and whine he tenses up, body going completely rigid, and he must squeeze Jimin’s hand because he looks around and nudges Yoongi a little. Their eyes meet, and Jimin looks relaxed, happy even, a hint of a cheeky and yet very reassuring smile on his face before he turns back to the camera. Yoongi reminds himself that they’re friends, close friends, ignoring the huge crush he has on Jimin. It puts him a little more at ease.

Mustering up his bravery, he watches the rest of the video alongside Jimin. It’s just as hot as he remembers and he gets halfway to hard but it’s easy to ignore with Jimin sat beside him. The boy is so entranced by himself on the small computer screen, lips slightly parted and eyes darting around. If he’s in any way uncomfortable he doesn’t show it.

At the end the video cuts out after Jimin’s little giggle and him running a hand through his hair, something Jimin mirrors with his free hand.

Yoongi clears his throat to break the silence. “So, what do you think?”

“I think you’re probably a genius,” Jimin says, closing the laptop and turning face to him. “It’s brilliant.”

That brings a flush to Yoongi’s cheeks because somehow he wasn’t expecting that response. “Thank you?”

“I’m serious, I hope you get an amazing mark for this. It’s everything you described to me that it would be.” He’s still holding Yoongi’s hand, and he squeezes it tightly. “I can only imagine how cool it will be alongside all the other videos. And the full portfolio!” He laughs excitedly. “You did such a great job, hyung!”

Jimin’s enthusiasm brings a smile to Yoongi’s face finally. “I really hope the department are as excited about it as you are, Jimin-ah. Thank you, for everything.”

Still smiling, Jimin scoffs. “I barely did anything at all. Your genius got you here!” He folds Yoongi’s hand up in his two smaller ones. “I’m really proud of you.”

The praise makes Yoongi’s toes curl a little. It feels good to be appreciated after all his hard work, and by Jimin of all people who has started to integrate himself into Yoongi’s life; maybe he cares a little too much about what Jimin thinks. They both fall into silence and Yoongi looks down at their hands again. He hates how well he thinks they fit together.

“Hyung,” Jimin says softly. “You don’t think we’ll get into trouble now, right?”

Shaking his head wordlessly, Yoongi’s eyes linger on Jimin’s lips just for a moment before he looks up at his eyes. Jimin clearly sees, and his lips quirk up.

“Good.” And before he realises what’s happening, Yoongi is being kissed.

Jimin really is a whirlwind.

“Hm, I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” Jimin sighs against Yoongi’s mouth, eyes closed. Yoongi closes his own and leans into it, giving in to what he’s wanted for two months.

It’s chaste at first, barely any pressure. He pulls Jimin a little closer so he’s not leaning as far. Jimin’s lips are damp but not slick and also unsurprisingly soft. He wonders if his heart has ever beaten so fast from just a kiss. A kiss from a friend.

Parting his lips, Yoongi tilts his head to the side to get closer and takes Jimin’s top lip between his own, cupping his face. It’s like a dance, the way Jimin moves in response. He finally takes his hand away from Yoongi’s in order to tug at the front of Yoongi’s shirt.

Everything is so warm; Jimin’s mouth, his cheek under Yoongi’s hand, his hands on Yoongi’s chest, and he feels himself begin to heat up in response. The arousal that had started from watching that video once more rears its head, making Yoongi’s thighs clench. Jimin parts his own lips properly and sucks on Yoongi’s bottom lip, pressing his teeth there gently for just a moment, and tracing the tip of his tongue over it ever so lightly afterwards.

Groaning, Yoongi presses Jimin down onto the couch on his back, not really trusting himself to stay upright if Jimin is going to kiss him like that. Jimin giggles a little in the moment that they part while moving, opening his arms willingly for Yoongi to crawl into. He hovers over Jimin just before he goes to kiss him again, noses just touching, just to see the way that Jimin looks at his mouth in anticipation.

Jimin teases him so much with his tongue it makes him near delirious. Yoongi tries to give back as good as he gets, letting Jimin play a little but making him moan ever so softly when he slides the tip of his tongue over Jimin’s. They stay like that for minutes on end, kissing and tasting and teasing. It’s so hard for him to get a hold of himself and they’ve barely done anything at all.

The feeling just might be mutual because Jimin is spreading his legs a little, making more and more desperate noises under him. He starts to wriggle his hips, shifting until he reaches a position he likes and wrapping a leg around Yoongi to rub their crotches together. And holy shit if Yoongi wasn’t hot before he is now. Everything is suddenly moving very fast. Sinking his fingers into Jimin’s hips he kicks his own downwards in a slow rhythm, and Jimin is hard, he can feel it against his own cock through their clothes, clothes he wants to get rid of.

“Jimin,” he gasps, pulling away to catch the breath that Jimin had stolen away from him. Jimin’s cheeks are flushed and his eyes are hazy, something Yoongi recognises from the day they recorded.

“Hyung,” he replies, drawing in a deep breath. “Do you wanna go to the bedroom?”

It’s so hard for Yoongi control himself; he’s been in this state since they first filmed, really. But everything is moving so fast, a little too fast, so he does, pulling back a little more to look at Jimin better to judge, asking, “Are you sure?”

“I am.” Yoongi believes Jimin, the way he smiles. His lips are a pretty shade of pink, glossed over and well kissed. It’s a good look on him. Yoongi stands (with some difficulty) and offers a hand.

“Come on then.”

Yoongi doesn’t question it when Jimin grabs his bag on the way to the room. “Have you done this before?” he asks curiously. “This kind of… arrangement, I mean.”

Jimin sighs, leaning against Yoongi’s back as he leads them down the hall. “Not really. I don’t even usually sleep with someone on a first date. But there’s a first time for everything.”

As Yoongi closes his door behind them he jumps on the bed, bouncing on his ass and holding out his arms as soon as Yoongi turns around.

“So how do you wanna do this?” Yoongi asks, knee walking until he’s back in Jimin’s arms. Jimin is straight away pulling his shirt over his head, followed by his own.

“Want you to fuck me. ‘S that okay?” Jimin says distractedly as he goes for the button on Yoongi’s jeans, tugging him forward so he falls over on him and has to catch himself on his arms.

Yoongi coughs a little when Jimin’s words catch up, his jeans and boxers being pulled down before he even answers, not that he would refuse. After a moment of shock he decides that he will not be letting Park Jimin mess with his head any more tonight if he can help if, and he kicks his jeans and boxers off before going to help Jimin with his.

“That’s fine with me.” Jimin’s jeans are difficult to pull down, so tight, but with some teamwork they manage pretty quickly. And then Jimin is finally naked underneath him.

He replicates their positions from before, hovering over Jimin on his arms and lowering himself for another kiss. Every inch where their bodies are pressed together feels electric. Jimin’s skin is soft but there’s a lot of muscle on his body from dance. There’s so much Yoongi wants to dig his teeth into.

In a sweet contrast to the way he rubs his cock against Yoongi’s stomach, Jimin pushes his hair away from his face as they kiss for a little longer. His movements are so sensual; it’s clear that Jimin is very much in control of the way he moves. Yoongi wants to tell him he’s beautiful but that’s way too much for what this is supposed to be, so he busies himself by sinking down Jimin’s body and leaving a trail of kisses in his wake.

With Jimin’s cock in front of his face, it’s finally Jimin who looks a little thrown off balance. “You don’t have to,” he near whispers. Yoongi shakes his head, excitement bubbling up in his stomach because he might not have to but he certainly wants to. For some reason he knows that Jimin will look absolutely amazing on the receiving end of someone sucking his cock.

So he starts slow, Yoongi laps at his cock, kitten licks around the head. Jimin’s hands tighten rhythmically in the sheets, his little high pitched sounds familiar to Yoongi’s ears. He’d missed them; nothing compared to how they sounded in real life. Sucking on the head, he strokes light fingers down the shaft, teasing to make Jimin squirm, and can’t resist kneading his thighs when he starts to move up and down. Hopes he looks good, and thinks he just might judging by the way Jimin watches him and his mouth. He pulls away when Jimin is fully hard and he’s swallowing precome.

“Hyung,” Jimin whines, before swallowing visibly. “I have one. A vibrator. If you wanna- Wanna use it on me,” Jimin is blushing heavily, a contrast to the positively sinful way he’s laid out for Yoongi. It’s an exciting idea, actually. Even more exciting is the fact that Jimin came fully prepared for this encounter, and he suspects that the anticipation may have been mutual this whole time.

“Where is it? In the bag?” Yoongi asks, still half distracted by Jimin’s thighs. They’re very thick, but the skin is soft and hairless.

Jimin wriggles around, reaching for the bag, pulling out lube and a tiny bullet vibe with a wire and button attached which he passes to Yoongi while biting his lip.

Yoongi takes a look at it, fiddles with the button and switches it on to feel the pulsations. It really is tiny, but also pretty powerful. Yoongi has an idea.

“Want me to prep myself first?” Jimin asks, wriggling down and propping his legs up. Immediately shaking his head, Yoongi makes to touch him again but is pushed away playfully by one of Jimin’s feet.

“Aren’t you gonna do it, then?” Jimin says, regaining his playfulness. He pushes Yoongi again when he gets close, and Yoongi has to grab his legs and push them down, pulling himself on top of him while Jimin giggles. The latter wraps his legs around him when he leans down for a kiss.

Yoongi rocks his hips against Jimin’s ass, getting some much needed stimulation. He doesn’t rush, wants to make Jimin feel good. He waits until Jimin is impatient and whiny underneath him from his kisses before he goes to prepare him.

“Yoongi.” Jimin draws out the ‘I’, pouting at him. “Use your fingers already.” Chuckling, Yoongi kisses his cheek, his jaw, the corner of his mouth, before picking up the lube.

He preps Jimin with three fingers, pressing them immediately against his prostate as soon as he finds it, has him jerking against Yoongi with the stimulation, cheeks red. Being able to please Jimin gives him a huge burst of confidence. In a gentle contrast to the unrelenting way he uses his fingers, he can’t help wanting to kiss Jimin’s pretty tummy, so he does.

When he’s ready, Yoongi picks up the vibrator, checking it over.

“I used that the other night and thought of you, hyung,” Jimin says breathily, spreading his legs a little further.

“Oh, that’s sweet, gorgeous. I’m glad you think of me,” Yoongi says lowly as he presses it inside. Jimin barely makes a sound, it’s not too much of an intrusion and he’s probably used to it.

When he turns it on, though, Jimin arches off the bed. “Oh, fuck, oh my god,” Jimin pants. “It’s so much better when someone else controls it, god.”

Yoongi hums, questioning. Tugging on the wire to move the vibe has Jimin moaning quietly, and when Yoongi strokes over his thighs he shudders.

“Pretty,” he whispers. He touches Jimin’s sides, his sensitive inner thighs, and the sensation affects Jimin visibly.

“Sensitive,” Jimin says as he tries to wiggle away. Yoongi grabs him by the hips to keep him still, and kisses him. Kisses might not actually be the word; he teases Jimin with his tongue, sucks on his bottom lip, not really giving him what he wants.

“Can you- Yoongi.” Jimin turns his neck to the side, and Yoongi kisses his neck. He’s so warm. “Fuck me with it still inside. Please?”

Oh my god. “Holy fuck. Okay,” he can only say. “Turn over.”

Yoongi helps Jimin turn onto his front, groaning a little at the sight he’s presented with. Jimin’s ass is perfect, his body is amazing, and again Yoongi wants to sink his teeth in. He doesn’t, settles for massaging it instead, and using his fingers around his hole, occasionally slipping them inside. Jimin just whines at him to hurry up, jerking when he hits a good spot.

“For god’s sake, Yoongi,” he whines, punching a pillow lightly. Yoongi does nip at his asscheek then, before taking off his boxers and throwing them somewhere in his bedroom and grabbing a condom. When he finishes putting it on he covers Jimin’s back with his chest, wrapping an arm around him.

“You sure? I can take it out-”

“I’m sure, do it, want you inside, come on,” Jimin rests his cheek on a pillow, and casts a look back over his shoulder that Yoongi can only describe as hungry .

Yoongi pushes inside as slowly as possible, rocking his hips so he slides out an inch every few he pushes in. Jimin’s head drops while he groans. Yoongi is almost inside when he feels the vibrator against the tip of his cock, already so sensitive from Jimin being so tight around him.

“Oh my god,” he moans, letting his own head drop to Jimin’s shoulder. The vibrator is pushed deeper when he bottoms out and he can feel Jimin trembling with the feeling.

“You okay there, Jiminie?” he gasps, pressing his teeth to Jimin’s shoulder for just a moment to ground himself.

Jimin makes a throaty noise before arching his back and pushing his ass back against Yoongi so the skin of their thighs are pressed together. Yoongi grips his hips tightly because holy fuck .

“Please move,” Jimin almost whines. Yoongi runs a hand over his stomach lightly, soothingly, but it makes Jimin jolt against him. He plays with that sensitivity, kissing his neck gently as he starts to thrust slowly.

The wire runs alongside his cock and the vibe keeps hitting the very tip; every time Yoongi pulls out the vibe is pulled out a little with his cock, dragging deep inside Jimin. The noises he makes are even better than the ones Yoongi’s heard before, more guttural and desperate because Jimin isn’t completely satisfied.

He doesn’t complain at Yoongi’s slow pace, however, taking whatever he’s given. On the other hand Yoongi is impatient, despite loving teasing Jimin; he waits a little while before deciding that he’s had enough of this pace and pulls out.

Even though Yoongi goes slow in pulling out the vibrator, Jimin still yelps. “Oh, oh- Yoongi!” he cries as it presumably presses right up against his prostate before coming out. Yoongi pulls him back onto his lap immediately afterwards, positioning his cock at Jimin’s hole.

“Hyung, oh,” Jimin sighs as he finally sits on Yoongi’s cock once more.

“You can move when you want to,” Yoongi says between pressing kisses to Jimin’s neck. For a second Jimin does nothing at all and goes lax against Yoongi, leaning his neck to the side to give Yoongi better access. Slowly but surely though, he starts to move his hips.

It’s more of a grind at first, slow circles, and Jimin brings one of his hands to the back of Yoongi’s head while he pumps his own cock leisurely with the other. Everything narrows for Yoongi to the feeling of Jimin’s fingers in his hair, not tight but present; Jimin’s weight on his thighs and the way their skin together, how hot Jimin is on his cock. He lets Jimin do what he wants, finding his sweet spot with a slow grind that makes him sigh out a moan, and eventually start moving up and down.

From this angle he can see where his cock enters Jimin’s hole, as well as the way Jimin’s thighs shake, from the pleasure or strain he doesn’t know.

“Hyung, can you, please,” Jimin stutters out, leaning his head back as he grinds again. Even though Jimin obviously can’t see, he nods, understanding the impatience.

“On your back or your front?” he asks breathlessly, kicking his hips up and making Jimin cry out.

“Holy fuck,” he swears instead of answering, tugging on Yoongi’s hair and lifting himself off with some difficulty. “You’re not as shy now, hyung,” he giggles as he flips himself around onto his back once more and lifts his legs. Maybe Yoongi is impatient but he doesn’t waste time on pushing back inside.

The sensation of Jimin around him is a lot to cope with, and Yoongi can’t say he copes very well. Despite that, he fucks Jimin as well as he can for as long as he can, giving him more and harder when he asks. It’s Jimin tossing his head back and crying out his name, eyes clenched shut, that makes him come inside.

When Yoongi pulls out, Jimin immediately goes to finish himself off but Yoongi stops him. He feels kind of boneless, but he moves down Jimin’s body despite that, wanting to make him come himself.

“Hyung, you don’t, ah, have to, I can- fuck .”

The vibrator is still slick with lube and is so small it’s a little difficult to handle, but Yoongi presses it to the base of Jimin’s cock anyway, using two fingers on his other hand to slide back inside of Jimin. He’s determined to give him a great orgasm.

“Yoongi, Yoongi, please, just-” Jimin positively squeals when Yoongi presses the vibe against the head of his cock, kicking his hips up in an attempt to get more. Yoongi takes it away momentarily before bringing it back, simultaneously fucking his fingers right into Jimin’s prostate. He does this a few time until Jimin is sobbing, begging for Yoongi to give him more so he can come.

So he adds another finger, unrelenting in the way he touches that spot inside, in the way he uses the vibe to his best advantage. Everything narrows down to focus on Jimin’s pleasure, so he barely even notices when Jimin starts to come, pulled back to reality by the way he tightens up around Yoongi’s fingers.

“Oh, oh, oh, fuck,” Jimin continues to cry out as Yoongi pushes him through it, writhing around until Yoongi shows him some mercy and moves away. “Oh my god, hyung.”

“What?” Making a grossed out face, Yoongi throws away his condom, settling back beside the boy.

There’s a period of silence, and when Yoongi finally looks back at Jimin’s face his gaze is returned with wonder. “I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that.”

“Oh.” Yoongi flushes. “Is that… good?”

Jimin stretches, grinning at him like a satisfied cheshire cat. “Yes. I’d say it was very much worth the wait.”

“Don’t say things like that, it’s embarrassing!” Yoongi groans.

Laughing, Jimin pulls a sheet over himself. “Next time I’ll use the Hitachi wand I have on you as payback.”

Yoongi thinks about the phrase ‘next time’ and his legs suddenly feel ten times more like jelly than they did before. There’s some kind of promise in there somewhere. “Okay,” he agrees weakly.

The warmth that Jimin radiates next to him is addictive. He’s just started to drift off to that place that comes just before sleep, satisfaction settling his bones so they become lax, when Jimin starts to move around and Yoongi feels him get off the bed.

“Where are you going?” He asks groggily.

“Home,” he hears Jimin say distantly. He’s so tired but he knows immediately that something is wrong; why isn’t Jimin cuddling him already?

“Why don’t you just stay?” Yoongi rubs his eyes and attempts to sit up, only to be pushed down by a fully dressed Jimin.

“It’s okay, go to sleep. I can’t stay, I have class tomorrow.” The way Jimin regards him seems only vaguely affectionate, like Yoongi is being silly. Like a friend, not a lover. Anxiety starts to make his stomach ache and his heart speeds up. For a second, he’d forgotten that this was what Jimin wanted; a fuckbuddy, nothing more.

“Oh.” He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to embarrass himself, come across as needy. Jimin shoves his vibrator in his bag without even washing it and he winces. He must really be in a rush to get out of here.

Jimin clears his throat near the door. “I’ll see you later, yeah?” Then he doesn’t even give Yoongi time to get up and say goodbye before he’s leaving.

Leaving Yoongi in a state of dull heartbreak. Because that’s what he realises it is, heartbreak; Jimin wanted to leave as soon as they had sex. He has feelings for Jimin that aren’t returned. The last part is obvious.

Get a grip , he tells himself. It’s just a crush.

--

If asked, Yoongi would describe his relationship with Jimin as friendship, nothing more. Sure, they sleep together more than ‘just friends’ normally would, but not that often.

Okay, maybe it’s actually more like almost every night. Yoongi wouldn’t say that though, knows it would make Jimin uncomfortable. It’s not like they’re in any kind of relationship, after all.

Jimin remains elusive, a little mysterious still. Yoongi hasn’t even ever been to his apartment. Maybe he understands him better than before though, knows why he wants a friends-with-benefits relationship, and is happy to help Jimin be more comfortable with himself. He wishes he knew more about the infamous ex-boyfriend that had left him so full of insecurities and lack of belief in his ownership in himself; he’s not going to push Jimin for information though, not when the mere mention of that time by Hoseok when they were eating together made his mood drop visibly from a happy to drowning in his own memories.

The only people that really know anything at all are Namjoon and Hoseok, who he goes to regularly for advice. They both think that he’s gotten himself in too deep.

“Are you sure you’re sure?” Namjoon asks one rare night when he isn’t with Jimin. In the past few weeks he’s been neglecting their game nights a little because of a mixture of exam prep and maybe a little bit of greed over seeing him.

Yoongi sighs. “I’m- Joon-ah, we’re just having fun. We’re friends.”

“Yeah, but, hyung,” Hoseok starts, “You see him, like, a lot. And not just at night either, I’ve seen you still meeting up in the Arts cafe.”

That’s true. He hadn’t thought they knew about that. Damn. “It’s- listen, it’s fine, okay? It’s not a problem, I have it under control.”

“But it’s kind of obvious, the way you look at him, hyung,” Namjoon says solemnly, words at odds to the way he bounces on the couch when he crosses the finish line ahead of Hoseok in the game.

“We just don’t want you to get hurt,” Hoseok chimes in. “You’re a huge softy at heart, don’t think we don’t know. And you’ve liked him since the beginning.”

Has he? Yoongi doesn’t know anything anymore. He resolves to spend more time with Namjoon and Hoseok, grateful of their worry, but still annoyed because of the way their words make him think, at being called out.

“I hate the way you guys are always right,” he grumbles. Hobi leans over to clink their bottles together.

“We know, hyung.”

If only they could explain Park Jimin to him. The kid was so confusing, basking in his attention one moment, running away the next. It’s true they they still do meet up in the daytime, but it’s certainly not as often as before. The truth is that Yoongi doesn’t want to lose his friendship either, which makes everything so much more confusing and difficult.

“I’m sure it’ll be okay in the end, you know,” Joon says quietly as he wraps his arm around him.

Yoongi sure does hope so.

--

Yoongi’s exams come to an end first, and he’s a free man. He looks at all of his textbooks and notes and different file arrangements on his computer for his pictures for a long time, contemplating burning everything, a sign of true freedom. He doesn’t, just in case of the minute possibility that he may have to re-take in a few months. It’s unlikely but he isn’t going to tempt fate.

The younger years’ exams go on a little bit longer, so Jimin hasn’t quite finished his yet. Yoongi tries his best not to distract him, telling him it’s okay if they don’t hang out quite as often, but Jimin just waves it off, continues to text him to meet up at the cafe or at night. Mostly at night, at Yoongi’s apartment.

They spend their first night at Jimin’s dorm together after they go to a restaurant and drink beer after until late - the place is closer to Jimin’s than Yoongi’s, and Jimin’s inhibitions are lowered so he just drags them in the direction of his building. When he realises they’re going in the opposite direction to his place, Yoongi really hopes that Jimin won’t regret it the next day.

“Hyung,” Jimin whines. Yoongi hasn’t seen him this drunk before. Still, he’s able to walk and everything, and Yoongi is in a very similar state if not worse. “When we get back I wanna order pizza.”

Yoongi scoffs, half laughing. “Jiminie, we just ate.”

“But I’m still hungry!”

They bicker on the short walk home, Jimin dropping his phone the moment they get inside in his haste to call the pizza place. Yoongi collapses onto the couch, looking around but only really seeing a blur before Jimin plops down right on top of him.

“Jimin, you’re heavy, gerroff,” he groans. Wiggling, Jimin just adjusts himself so he’s comfortable.

“Pizza should be half an hour. Do you want more beer?”

Yoongi considers it. “No, I’m okay.”

After the pizza arrives and Jimin ends up abandoning it after two slices they talk for a long time. They talk about all kinds of things; passions, secrets, their families. It turns out that Jimin is a very honest drunk.

He’s just finished his third slice of pizza when he realises that it looks like Jimin is examining him again; Yoongi is almost used to it by now.

“You’re very different. To him, I mean.”

“To who?” Yoongi’s brain takes a long while to catch up before he realises. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Leaning his head on Yoongi’s shoulder, Jimin curls up small. “He used to control everything I did, you know? And he never made me feel good.”

Yoongi is quiet. Jimin’s never talked about this before.

“I stayed because I thought I loved him, at first. Then it became that I thought I couldn’t do anything by myself. Does that make sense?” Jimin slurs a little, and Yoongi realises that he’s only saying this because he’s still a little drunk.

“You don’t have to tell me, Jimin-ah,” he says quietly. Humming, Jimin starts playing with his fingers.

“Want to. It’s almost completely gone.” At Yoongi’s questioning noise, he clarifies. “The way he made me feel.”

He looks up at Yoongi, the cutest smile on his face that makes Yoongi want to kiss his cheeks. “I haven’t been this happy in… in a year? Two?” He laughs. Yoongi’s heart jumps. “And it’s exam season! Who’s happy in exam season, huh?”

Not being able to help himself as usual, Yoongi tucks him into his side, close. He doesn’t want to ever let go. “Nearly done though, hm?”

“Yeah.”

Late nights are weird, Yoongi thinks. Really late nights, not the ones where he stays up until 2AM working, but the all night-late night ones, the ones where he normally has his craziest, most artistic ideas, like deciding to film people reading book passages with vibrators inside of them. They’re inadvisable; lack of sleep isn’t good for anybody. But maybe this one is good for Jimin. He seems ten times lighter after they have that short conversation, a brightness lifting his eyes. There’s never a time when he doesn’t think that Jimin looks beautiful, but tonight, despite the lighting in the apartment being less than ideal, it’s like he’s dazzling, and Yoongi can’t stop watching him.

They talk until they’re both sober again, which they admit to each other quietly when the sun starts to rise.

Before he knows it Jimin is much closer. “If you’re sober, then…” Jimin murmurs. Yoongi watches Jimin’s face as he folds himself over Yoongi’s lap again, the way he slides his hands up Yoongi’s chest and over his shoulders and watches his own hands greedily.

“Then what?” Yoongi replies, letting Jimin do what he wants for now. He’s tired, but not too tired, not for what he thinks Jimin wants. Doesn’t want to sleep if he can see Jimin more like this.

Jimin hums, finally raising his eyes to Yoongi’s face momentarily before letting his eyes drop closed and his head tip back, grinding down the tiniest bit. It’s a sinful sight, Yoongi’s mind flitting back to Jimin’s recording as redness flushes over his own cheeks.

“You’re so pretty,” Yoongi says, kind of helplessly, because he is. Jimin is one of the prettiest boys he’s ever seen, and at this point Yoongi has seen him in various states of messy, including now, but he’s still lovely. As Jimin continues to grind his ass against Yoongi’s cock he moves his hands up to grip the boy’s thick thighs.

“You don’t need to call me that, I’m already here,” Jimin whispers. He opens his eyes to look at Yoongi once again before dropping his gaze to Yoongi’s chest. He looks vulnerable.

Swallowing, Yoongi tugs him a little closer, startling a little moan out of his partner. “I don’t, maybe. But you are, Jiminie, so pretty. I wouldn’t lie.” Dragging his hands slowly up, he presses Jimin close, ignoring the rising flush on his own face. So close.

“You wouldn’t?”

“We’ve been pretty honest tonight, right? And I haven’t lied to you before now either,” he says genuinely. He really wants Jimin to believe him, believe that he thinks he’s pretty, not just saying it to sleep with him.

“It’s been… a long time, since I’ve been called pretty, like this.” Jimin tucks his face in Yoongi’s neck, kissing the soft skin.

“But you know it’s true, right?”

“Hm, I know. But I like that you think it. And that you tell me.” He kisses up to Yoongi’s jaw and then his mouth, controlling the pace. Yoongi lets him. Again he wonders if Jimin regrets letting him back to his house. He wants to tell Jimin that he’d call him pretty every day if he let him. “You really are different to him.”

Jimin grinds down on him again, harder but still at a leisurely pace. It’s good, Jimin is unsurprisingly good with his hips even when he’s tired, and Yoongi is getting towards completely hard with just this. They kiss at the same pace, slow and hot, Yoongi trying to give as good as he gets.

“Do you wanna, wanna go to the bedroom?” Yoongi says hazily when they part, and Jimin seems to be in the same state when he stands and takes Yoongi’s hand to help him up.

Jimin rides Yoongi hard that night, the pace picking up as soon as they hit the sheets. It’s like they’ve learned each other now, what they want, how to please. For example, Yoongi knows how much Jimin likes his mouth, and that’s where Jimin comes when he eventually does, flopping down tiredly afterwards. There’s watery sunlight creeping through the gaps in the curtains as Jimin falls asleep next to him; he doesn’t stop Yoongi from wrapping an arm around him to sleep.

--

It’s bright midday sunlight that wakes Yoongi the next morning. Everything is kind of sticky, a dry feeling on his tongue and Jimin still fast asleep. They’ve slept for around six hours, maybe five, and Yoongi is feeling it.

As subtly he can so as not to disturb the pretty slumbering boy beside him, he stretches from head to toe. His thighs are aching and he winces. Jimin stirs anyway.

The sheets drop a little when he unwittingly imitates Yoongi’s movements and Yoongi’s eyes drop to Jimin’s prominent v-line, the flat of his stomach. It’s not flawless due to the marks that Yoongi made last night, but he thinks they look so right on Jimin’s skin.

“Morning.” Jimin groans, turning to face him properly. His eyes are a little swollen. “I feel kind of shitty.”

“Yeah? Are you- are you in any pain?” Yoongi croaks, clearing his throat. Jimin shakes his head.

“Not really, but my head hurts and I feel gross all over. And I have a lecture in… an hour and a half.” He makes a face whilst looking at the clock. Yoongi feels overwhelmingly grateful that he doesn’t have class today.

“You should probably shower. Me, too,” Yoongi sighs. Jimin just presses his face to Yoongi’s shoulder and groans again.

It takes him at least five minutes more for Jimin to get up, moaning at the ache in his limbs as he does. He stumbles into the bathroom and Yoongi hears the shower turn on as he starts to mull over the events of the night before.

Jimin had been honest, real, he remembers it clear as day. More vulnerable than Yoongi had ever known him to be, probably. Part of him is glad that Jimin has opened up to him like this - another is scared that this is just gonna make him like the kid more. That’s not supposed to be happening.

“Hyung?” Jimin appears at the door, eyes focusing on him sleepily. “Do you wanna come shower with me?”

Like he would say no. Yoongi drags himself up immediately to follow Jimin, who is already in the shower by the time he gets there, ducking his head under the water. Ridding himself of his boxers he joins him, immediately reaching for the soap so he can wash Jimin’s back. There’s an appreciative groan from Jimin’s lips that Yoongi tries not to echo. The view from here really is great.

“Did you just bring me here to spoil you?” Yoongi asks jokingly. Jimin just leans his head back on Yoongi’s shoulder, and Yoongi reaches around to wash his stomach.

“Maybe I’m a bit spoiled. Is that bad? I like it when you touch me,” he sighs. Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s allowed but he kisses the side of Jimin’s neck gently.

“It’s okay.” Jimin leans into it, so Yoongi takes a few liberties and continues to kiss him there. There’s a little purple mark there from last night so Yoongi makes sure to pay attention to kissing it better as he washes Jimin’s arms.

After a while Jimin’s hair is already washed and he still hasn’t really said anything. “You alright?” Yoongi questions him worriedly. Maybe Jimin was regretting something they did last night. A knot forms in his stomach at the thought.

Turning to him, Jimin’s gaze is heavy. He reaches up and presses a hand to Yoongi’s chest, over his heart. He looks even better from the front, the water trickling over the muscles on his chest, his stomach, his cheeks a little flushed from the warmth, wet hair pushed back. Keeping  his eyes on Jimin’s face, Yoongi doesn’t watch the droplets drip down. Jimin’s expression is searching. Yoongi doesn’t know what he’s searching for but he hopes he finds it.

The hand on his chest slides lower and scratches at his stomach, hovering just above his cock. To be honest, Yoongi wasn’t expecting anything, quite happy to just help Jimin wash, wash his hair and get out. He realises how whipped that makes him sound.

“Fuck me?” The offer makes Yoongi startle a little, hands flexing on Jimin’s hips.

“Aren’t you sore?” Yoongi asks softly. “I can-”

“No, I’m- It’s fine, I’m okay. You don’t need to get lube, I’m still wet.” He edges a little closer. The steam in the shower is heavy, a little difficult to breath, even. Or maybe it’s just Yoongi. Jimin tilts his mouth up, an offer for a kiss.

Yoongi gives him what he wants, kissing him and sucking at his swollen bottom lip, another gift from last night. Jimin kisses back just as well, tongue sliding against Yoongi’s in a way that always makes his toes curl just a little. They’re both still so tired and it shows, all of their movements slow. Jimin goes pliantly when Yoongi leans him against the wall.

He breaks the kiss, pressing his nose to Jimin’s cheek. Jimin gives him an uncharacteristically soft kiss on his own cheek that makes him pause what he was going to say for a second.

“Oh. Do you have lube in here?” He shifts them slightly more under the shower spray to keep Jimin warm.

“I told you, I don’t need-” Yoongi pulls back to level Jimin with a stern expression, which makes him roll his eyes. “There should be some in the cabinet, I think.”

“Good.” Yoongi can reach the cabinet from the shower, if he’s careful. Jimin ends up laughing at him as he bends over and arches his back, the distance a little more than he expected. He gets the lube eventually, and he comes back to Jimin turning around and resting his face on his arms. Yoongi manhandles him a little to make sure the lube won’t just wash away in the water.

“Tell me if it hurts, yeah?” He leans in and kisses Jimin’s neck once more, the skin of his neck and shoulders too pretty to resist. Eyes fluttering shut, Jimin sighs and sags, pushing his ass backwards with minimum effort. Yoongi refocuses there, getting lube on his fingers before putting it aside.

Gripping and massaging one cheek, he exposes Jimin’s hole, using one finger for now to test the waters; the idea of hurting Jimin like this makes his chest ache. In the end he’s glad he got more lube, Jimin certainly not being as wet as he would prefer.

Even the first finger makes Jimin moan brokenly. He watches Yoongi over his shoulder, eyelashes fluttering when Yoongi does something he likes. The shower is loud but Yoongi can still make out his hitching breaths, the little gasps that are familiar to him now.

Prep doesn’t take as long as normal because of the night before, but Yoongi still makes sure he’s thorough. He has a feeling that Jimin needs it.

“D’you think you’re ready?”

Jimin huffs. “I said I didn’t need that much.” Yoongi pulls his fingers out slowly and resettles his hands on Jimin’s hips. Glancing back, Jimin catches his unimpressed look as he just stands there patiently. At the back of his mind Yoongi hopes the hot water won’t run out or anything. “Yes, I’m ready, goddamn,” Jimin grits out, and Yoongi smiles.

Pressing his hands to Jimin’s stomach, he encourages him up off the shower wall and turns him around.

“This way? You gotta make sure I don’t fall,” Jimin murmurs, surprise in his eyes. Yoongi nods, wrapping a leg around his waist and leaning Jimin back against the wall.

“I won’t let you fall, baby.” He holds Jimin carefully as he presses the head of his cock against his fluttering hole, savouring how close they are, the intimate feeling, before pressing in nice and slow. Jimin groans, head dropping back in pleasure, so gorgeous.

They’re even closer when Yoongi’s all the way inside. He rests their foreheads together, Jimin only leaning up for a kiss once before dropping his head onto Yoongi’s shoulder. His breath is ticklish on Yoongi’s wet skin.

Lacking the energy to go fast, Yoongi fucks Jimin slow; the latter is quietly vocal about where he wants Yoongi to be, and when he finally has it right Jimin becomes a wanton mess of moans and lax muscles, making Yoongi work to hold him up.

And Yoongi doesn’t really mind at all, wants Jimin to feel good. His muscles are a little sore from overwork and fatigue but the shower helps, just a little. It’s almost unbearably hot in the bathroom for him now, sweat mixing with the water on his temples as he slides his cock in and out of Jimin smoothly, breathing fast and shallow against Jimin’s neck, his cheek.

He has to put a hand against the wall for leverage in order to pick up the pace a little. “C’mon Jiminie, does it feel good?”

Moaning, Jimin turns his head to catch Yoongi’s lips. “Fuck, yeah, it’s so good, don’t stop,” he gasps out against them, a voice hitching into a sharp whine at the end when Yoongi rewards him with a sharp thrust. He proceeds to slow it down, thrusts coming to a halt and just grinding. When Jimin’s head falls back again Yoongi sees tears on his waterline, his swollen mouth gasping for air.

“Does it hurt, baby?” Yoongi asks, concerned. Immediately Jimin shakes his head.

“No, ‘s’good, promise,” he slurs. “Didn’t know.”

Leaning in to bite at Jimin’s jaw, Yoongi circles his hips. Jimin always feels fucking fantastic on his cock, it’s so intense, makes it hard to think. “Didn’t know what, hm?”

“That it could feel this good,” Jimin opens his eyes and makes eye contact and Yoongi’s breath hitches. He crowds Jimin even further into the wall, holding on to him tighter. One of the hands on his shoulders slips down, Jimin tugging on his own cock.

“That’s it, sunshine, can you come like this?” Jimin grunts out an affirmation and Yoongi doubles his efforts, thrusting against him shortly, stopping occasionally to grind. The rhythm clearly works for Jimin as he grips Yoongi’s shouler hard with his other hand, digging in with his blunt nails when he nears his climax.

“Yoongi,” he cries, drawn out. Yoongi wishes he could have Jimin on camera this way too; he’s the most beautiful, sensual piece of art he’s ever seen, but so much more real.

Yoongi tries to give him what he needs with the energy he has left, holding on so he won’t fall. “C’mon baby, that’s it, you’re so good, so pretty,” he pants, getting close to the edge himself. “Wanna film you like this, you’re so gorgeous.”

“Oh, fuck,” Jimin swears, the words affecting him so strongly it’s apparently the last thing he needs to come. He comes all over him and Yoongi together, the latter grinding into him through the aftershocks until he’s oversensitive. Pulling out, Yoongi jerks off until he comes on Jimin’s stomach while he stands boneless.

It takes them a while to move again. They clean up sloppily, just making sure the last traces of come and sweat are gone. Yoongi helps Jimin out of the shower and wraps him in a big towel. When he goes to help him dry he’s shooed away with a tired smile.

“Get dry, quickly. I wanna go back to bed, I’m not going to class this tired.” Jimin’s eyes stay on him as he does a perfunctory dry with the other towel, walking past him to the bedroom when he’s nearly done.

Yoongi finds him collapsed on the bed in only a fresh pair of underwear. At this point he doesn’t know if he should be staying or going; he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome, but Jimin looks so soft and cuddly and tired. Also he knows that Jimin has been working really hard for finals and he’s a little mentally exhausted from that too.

“Can I make breakfast? Or lunch, whatever it is,” Yoongi asks hesitantly.

“Yeah, I haven’t gone shopping in a while though so I can’t promise they will be much,”Jimin mumbles, eyed closed.

He’s not sure exactly what pushes him to do it, but Yoongi resolves to look after Jimin today, as much as the boy lets him. From what he knows of Jimin he doesn’t have people to do that for him, as popular as he is. Or maybe the more likely story is that he pulls away from letting people do that. Jimin had said last night that he had to do a lot of work for his ex, taking on a caring role. He really deserves someone to do that for him, Yoongi thinks.

It takes him over twenty minutes to muster up something decent from Jimin’s bare kitchen, but in the end he’s pretty proud of his efforts. The kitchen is small but fairly clean, lots of things everywhere presumably due to the lack of cupboard space. Organised chaos. Jimin comes and watches him for the last five minutes of his preparations, blinking sleepily.

“Thank you,” he croaks surprisedly, accepting his food. There are some appreciative hums and groans as they eat and Yoongi tries to hide his smile.

“Nobody has cooked for me in a long while,” Jimin says around a mouthful, cheeks puffed out. Yoongi swallows the need to coo at him. “This is really good, hyung.”

“Good,” Yoongi replies lamely. He’s not that great at taking compliments.”Uh, do you have more classes today?”

Jimin stretches. His hair is still damp and he pushes it back. “Yeah, later. I’ll probably go to the library too, I have an assignment to do. What are you gonna do?”

Actually, Yoongi is mentally preparing meals for Jimin in his head. “Not sure yet. I’ll walk with you to class though.” He says it to give no room for arguments, and Jimin only glances at him for a moment before going to clear their plates. A battle won, it seems.

“I need to go soon, okay? Do you wanna borrow some of my clothes?” Jimin says from the sink.

Yoongi’s heart flops stupidly at the thought. “Yeah, if that’s okay.”

Back in the bedroom Jimin ends up throwing him sweats and a t-shirt. Aware of how messy he probably looks, he only really glances in the mirror once to fix his hair a little. He finds a series of tiny marks on his collarbone and shoulder which aren’t quite hidden by the t-shirt; Jimin glances at that spot and away immediately when he’s pulling his bag over his shoulder as they get ready to leave.

Yoongi kind of wants to hold Jimin’s hand on the way to campus - that’s friend behaviour, right? - but he doesn’t want to make Jimin uncomfortable, so he doesn’t. He also wants to ask if Jimin is sore and fuss a little bit more, but Jimin has never mentioned in public that fact that they sleep together so he guesses that’s against the rules too.

“I had a good night, hyung. Thank you again for making me breakfast.” Jimin bites his lip and looks like he wants to say more, so Yoongi waits it out. “I’m sorry I talked a little too much last night.”

“Talked too much? What do you mean? We both talked a lot, Jiminie.” Yoongi says confusedly.

“I just thought it was maybe a little… personal? Too much?” And wow, Jimin actually looks nervous. How can Yoongi tell him that he loves to know more about him without sounding creepy?

“If you wanted to tell me then I’m glad you did,” Yoongi settles on instead. “We’re friends, Jimin-ah. You can tell me anything.”

“Thank you, hyung.” Jimin looks mollified. Yoongi does take his hand, then, squeezing for a moment and letting go. Maybe he should do some more taking care of Jimin, past today. It wouldn’t hurt to give him some attention, surely.

--

For the next few weeks during Jimin’s exams he lets Yoongi buy him lunch with the insistence that “I’m the hyung!” , walk him to his remaining classes, bring him snacks and coffee when he studies. In return, Yoongi receives the most beautiful smiles and quiet thank-yous, and even occasionally kisses on the cheek. And Jimin warms up to him, he starts to be more open, more sweet, and Yoongi realises that he’s gotten past some kind of wall.

Yoongi also starts to realise that he might be really doomed. Sure, he knew before that Jimin is sweet, kind, good hearted, but under his attention he opens up like a beautiful rose. Yoongi kind of understands, now, how Jimin had his heart broken so badly; it’s so big and vulnerable.

Somewhere in the middle of this Yoongi realises he can’t let whatever they’re doing become meaningless. He really, truly likes Jimin. What they have is a little too intimate for whatever arrangement they’ve come to, and there’s so much potential. He wants to show Jimin that he deserves all of the love in the world. He’s not the most confident guy ever, but Yoongi thinks that Jimin’s heart is more beautiful than any piece of art he’s ever admired from afar. Maybe he could be the one for him.

He at least wants to try. Thinking about it (and he does a lot of that now he’s out of things to do post-exams except job hunting) maybe he knew from the start that Jimin would be special to him. Judging by the way Jimin looks at him now, he might even say yes. Yoongi’s willing to take the chance. It’s scary, yes, but the payoff could be worth it.

And if Jimin says no, well. Yoongi winces at the thought. He wouldn’t argue, obviously, but he might be a little heartbroken.

Maybe more than a little.

--

Yoongi’s graduation goes without a hitch, believe it or not. He doesn’t really invite his parents but they send him a card with a weak congratulations inside, so they aren’t around to ruin his day at least. He also doesn’t trip on the way up to collect his degree. His friends cheer for him from their seats, and he can’t help but smile gummily at them, happy with their support and secretly so proud of himself.

They all go for a drink afterwards to celebrate, joining some other people from dance that Hoseok and Jimin know. Everyone gets extremely drunk, except Jimin, who seems to have avoided alcohol since their long night awake. Yoongi isn’t sure whether that’s a good or bad sign for him.

They’ve been out for a few hours, moving from bar to bar, the warmth outside beckoning them to sit in the sun for most of the time. Yoongi decides that if he’s going to do something, it’s going to be now. Post graduation ceremony and a beer or two (he’s not drunk, he checked) he’s feeling brave and like there’s lots of possibilities in front of him.

He gets Jimin alone in the beer garden - everyone really is drunk now, Yoongi doesn’t blame them, but he’d rather be sober and do this now. Much of their party has disappeared, although if he listens carefully he can hear Hobi’s voice somewhere inside; he is quite a loud drunk.

It’s dusk now, and the sky really beautiful, the orange light playing on Jimin’s skin. “Jimin,” he starts. There’s a tiny tremor in his hands which he promptly hides in his pockets. “Can we talk, please?”

“Of course, hyung.” Jimin turns to face him, expression expectant. Yoongi can’t read anything on his face, doesn’t know if Jimin has realised what he’s going to say, so he continues.

“Uh, okay, so. This is kind of hard to start, because I know you said you just wanted to be friends, before. But I’m not sure I can do it anymore.” Jimin raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth but Yoongi shakes his head. “Let me finish, then you can tell me I’m stupid, okay?” Nodding, Jimin closes his mouth.

“I really like you, Jimin. Like really, really like you. It’s like-” Yoongi searches for words. “Like it crept up on me, but I’m not sure it really did. Because I think I knew that I could lo- like you like this, the whole time. Does that make sense? I’m not sure it does.”

Jimin makes a tiny surprised sound. He looks overwhelmed. Yoongi really hopes that he’s not scaring him too much.

“I think you’re so funny, and beautiful, and talented and smart. And it’s like you managed to integrate yourself into my life after such a short amount of time. At first I thought- thought it was just lust, but now…” He clears his throat. “It hurts every time you walk away.”

“Hyung.” Jimin gapes at him for a few seconds. It takes him a moment to pull himself together, in which time Yoongi’s stomach turns with anxiety and he clenches his fists tight.

“You’re not stupid.” Jimin finally sighs, rubbing his eyes. Yoongi’s heart jumps a pole vault. “You’re not stupid for wanting this. I’m- I feel it too, y’know?”

“Oh.” As he waits for a ‘but’, Yoongi’s fingernails dig into his palms.

“I just- hyung, this is so difficult,” Jimin says desperately. “I don’t know what to do.”

Hesitantly, Yoongi reaches over and brushes the back of his hand with his fingertips. When Jimin looks at him in the eye he tries to convey his sincerity. “It’s okay, Jiminie, I understand.”

Opening his hand to accept Yoongi’s in his, Jimin looks vulnerable. He looks at their hands for a moment and Yoongi is reminded of the first time they kissed. He wishes he really understood then how badly Jimin would rope him in.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Yoongi tells him softly. “I just- wanted to tell you. I want to be honest.”

Jimin nods. “I’m glad,” he starts slowly. “And- and you make me feel- hyung-” Yoongi reaches his other hand over to cup Jimin’s in his. There’s a tremor in Jimin’s hands that he hates, hopes to god it’s not because he feels scared. “You make me feel special. And wanted. You- It feels good. You’ve never actually made me feel bad in any way, not directly anyway. It’s always myself.” Disregarding their semi-public location Jimin tucks his knees up with his feet on the chair, keeping their intertwined knees on top. “And he did, hyung, all the time, even at the beginning.”

“You should kick people to the curb that do that to you, Jimin-ah. You deserve so much better,” he says desperately. The world , Yoongi doesn’t say.

Jimin laughs, voice cracking a little. “I know that now! Back then, it was like… I didn’t have any control. I wanted to take it back, like I told you.”

Yoongi nods. The sun is setting fast, pinks and purples lighting them, the voices of everyone else a distant buzzing in the bubble they’ve created for themselves. Awfully romantic lighting for a potential rejection. If it was a different moment, he would take a photo of Jimin like this. “Do you think you did?”

Jimin thinks quietly. Behind them a glass shatters; he doesn’t even flinch. “I did. And then you kind of ruined it.” Yoongi winces. That kind of hurts. But then Jimin continues. “Because as much as you don’t try and control me, it doesn’t feel like I’m in control around you.”

Yoongi’s breath catches. “What do you mean by that, Jimin-ah?”

“It means… You always make me want to throw myself at you, even when you don’t do anything. Kiss you, or make you laugh, or just do something . Because of the way you make me feel. And I don’t even hate it, hyung. It feels good, because you want me to, and you try.” He lifts one of Yoongi’s hands and presses it to his cheek. “I don’t think I’m being very eloquent, hyung. But you make me want to try.”

“Try?” Yoongi’s mouth is so dry. He wants to kiss Jimin so, so badly right now. “Try… us?”

Almost timidly, Jimin nods. “It’s hard. It’ll be hard, for me. But... I trust you, hyung. I really do.”

Yoongi can’t help the way he gets to his knees in front of Jimin’s chair, Jimin’s own knees caught between them. Reaching for Jimin’s other hand, he presses a kiss to his palm. His heart might be about to jump out of his ribcage. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.”

Leaning forward slowly, Jimin kisses him, lowering his knees so Yoongi is between his spread legs. “I mean it when I say it’ll be hard, you know.” He almost sounds like he’s joking, and it makes Yoongi smile.

“It’s okay.” He refuses to be pessimistic now. It’s just the beginning. “I believe in us. You know?”

“I know.” Squeezing Jimin’s fingers, Yoongi feels the lightest he has in months.

The sky darkens, and the thought of taking Jimin home and curling up with him in a blanket is so appealing. He tells him so in a whisper and gets an agreement in return. Jimin’s eyes sparkle like the stars they can’t see from the city. Yoongi says quick goodbyes to their friends before they walk home.

“You have to volunteer for whatever I want you to do in final year, hyung, whatever happens,” Jimin says teasingly.

“Of course, Jimin-ah, anything for you.”

--