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„One more, one more“ the crowd ist shouting while he is waiting for the whistle to do his serve.
Just in that moment time seems to stand still and suddenly the only noise Oikawa is aware of are his own thoughts
What will we do if this one fails? We can´t lose here today… it´s our last chance to win this year…why can´t we stay in this school forever? …together with Iwa-chan…Iwa-chan!
He tries to calm down, to breath and just to focus on the exact moment of his serve but all he can think about is his future and what will happen if they lose now.
A small part of his mind registers the whistle and there he goes his body moves like he´s a fucking robot and he jumps, too low he thinks, and then the ball flies… hitting their net and falls to the ground.
The opposite Site is cheering and he can hear them celebrate the victory…Noises are coming back now, too loud for his liking and he falls to his knees… can´t believe that it´s over now.
He looks to his team mates unshed tears in most of their eyes, fuck he even can see tears in Mattsun´s face and it´s too much to bear, so he just looks at his knees while everyone around him is moving on and his vision is swiming , too lost to even fill his duty as team captain.
What will I do now? What will I do now? I will never have a match with my team again, we will all leave and never come together again… what should I do? what will happen now? Will we still hang out together? What will I do after school´s finished? Will I stay as close to Iwa-chan as I am now?
He can feel the anxiety rising and he just can´t seem to take a breath, his own tears now freely falling to the orange gym floor, mixing with his sweat … and he can´t BREATH.
A small part of his mind is laughing at him. He should be so embarrassed to break down like this in front of everyone…in front of his team but he doesn´t really care right now and he´s starting to get dizzy anyways so what´s the point in still worrying of anything ? What´s the point of anything right now?
Suddenly there is a warm hand on his back, it´s shaking him hard trying to get trough to him.
There is a voice he can´t really understand … but he listens, trying to calm down, trying to breath and now he recognizes the voice as Iwaizumi´s.
Clinging to it he tries to follows Iwa´s instructions to breath with him and he lets himself fall forward right into Hajime´s chest, clawing at his shirt as he can feel strong arms embrace him.
„Follow my breath Tooru, in and out" he hears him saying and it´s enough for him to calm down a bit, follow the pattern of Iwaizumi´s breath and now weakly clinging at him.
„Hey Tooru you there with me?“ Iwa´s concernd voice is coming from above and Oikawa is breaking again, crying harder then ever „Iwa-chan!...“
His childhood friend is stroking his back now, waiting for Oikawa to calm down while cooing little reassurings to him.
Finally after what seems like ages Oikawa is calming down and Iwaizumi helps him up to at least forefill their duty to thank the crowd and the other players who startet to get nervous about the situation on the court.
The rest of the day is a blurr for Tooru as they leaving the court and going back to the bus.
The ride home is quiet und Oikawa is leaning heavily on Iwaizumi´s shoulder with no energy left in him.
Iwa-chan is really sweet the whole time, patting his hair a little and doesn´t bother him the entire ride.
When they finally get home, it´s the most natural for Iwa to take him home and brings him to bed, staying with him until he falls asleep.
The next morning Oikawa awakes to the smell of toastet bread and coffee.
Iwa-chan is choosing that moment to come in with a tray of said things and cracks a small smile as he sees Tooru is awake.
„Good morning“ he says gently and sets the tray on the night stand.
He joins Oikawa climbing into bed with him and Tooru lays his head on his shoulder enjoying the smell Hajime brings with him.
„You wanna tell me what happend yesterday?“ Iwa-chan´s asking gently, playing with a curl of Tooru´s hair.
„I just couldn´t stand the idea to loose all this… I couldn´t bring myself to stop thinking about our future… what we will do now that we don´t have a big goal together, how we will stay in contact now… what´s going on after we graduate… and can we still stay together… Iwa-chan I don´t wanna loose you“ he is crying again and Iwaizumi is shushing him, hugging him now.
„We will always be together Tooru…I won´t leave you even if we can´t see us at times…we will never be apart I promise you!“ tears are forming in his eyes as well now.
„We will sort everything out, one step after another. It will be alright!“
Oikawa is blinking up now and just as he looks in Iwa-chans eyes he knows it will be alright… he can always trust Iwa.
„It will…“ he repeats and squeezes Iwaizumi a little tighter. „Thank you…for always beeing there for me“ he whispers and after a short while of silence he smiles again and with his best childlike demanding he says„I hope you brought me milk bread“
Iwa huffs and rolls his eyes a little but reaches out and takes said food to pushs it against Toorus mouth „here you go Shittykawa“ he mutters but cracks a small smile at this and Oikawa is happy to open his mouth and chew his favorite food while watching how Iwa slightly blushs.
„I will always be there for you“