Chapter Text
Arthur was on his nightly patrols when he heard it. A wretched, strangled, sob. The sound of it made Arthur's heart ache; he never wanted to hear it again. He told his men—who were very clearly ignorant of the sounds coming from their left—to go to the right while he took the left path. They agreed without delay and followed Arthur's orders exactly how he stated them. After they were out of sight, he pulled the reins of his horse and it galloped through the trees until they came to a clearing. Stopping, Arthur assessed his location, listening until he heard the horrid weeping again. It was louder, so whoever it was must have been fairly close.
He dismounted from his horse before tying it to a tree and following the sound until he came across a cave. There was light coming from the inside, and as Arthur stepped in he could faintly smell the smoke that signaled there was a fire. At this point, the crying had reduced to sniffles and hiccups, and yet he still wanted to find whoever it was to make sure they were alright.
Tiptoeing across the rocky cave floor, the light inside became brighter and brighter until he finally saw it. There was a fire on the floor, and sitting right next to it, was a boy not too much younger than Arthur himself. He lied there, shivering and sniffling, with his eyes shut as he trembled from his earlier sobbing. Arthur took a step closer, only for the gravel to crunch beneath his boots. The sound of it alarmed the boy immediately, who sat up and backed himself into the cave wall immediately. He looked so afraid that Arthur wanted to just hold him close and never let go.
He was wearing what looked like an ensemble of rags, being that they were ripped in places and there were holes throughout his shirt. The boy was so skinny Arthur wondered if he'd ever had a decent meal in his life; his face was covered in dust from the cave floor, and his hair was rumpled and ragged. He continued to press himself into the wall, as if wishing it would swallow him whole so he wouldn't be in sight of Arthur.
"Who- who are you?" He asked, and his voice was so dry and cracked that Arthur's heart broke for a second time. "What do you want with me?" The second question was squeaked out so low that it could barely be heard over the crackling of the fire.
"I'm... Arthur. Are you alright?" He asked, slowly, as to not scare the poor boy off.
"Why are you here? Did you want to take me off and kill me?!" He said, with more fire than Arthur thought he had in him. It was unbelievable that he had the ability to say anything at all in his condition. He was still shivering, so Arthur took a few steps closer to him without speaking and even though he pushed himself further into the wall, Arthur removed his cape and wrapped it around his shoulders. The boy flinched away from him, but took the cape anyway. Afterward, Arthur took a few steps back to give him some space.
Arthur took a seat on the cave floor a few feet away from him.
"What's your name?" He asked.
"Why should I tell you? I still don't know what you want from me, and judging from your armor, you're a knight who doesn't care about anyone but himself."
"I don't want anything except to know if you're alright. I heard... I heard you crying and I wanted to see if you were okay."
"How do I know you're not lying?" After he said that, his stomach growled rather loudly, and Arthur raised an eyebrow at him while the boy just blushed. He proceeded to wrap the cape around him tighter, drowning his body underneath it.
"You can't. But I promise I'm not." Arthur said, hoping the boy believed him. Before the boy could respond, there was a yell coming from beyond the cave. It was the knights.
"Sire! Prince Arthur!" They called for him, and Arthur flinched at the title, looking toward the boy, who seemed even more afraid than he was when Arthur first entered the cave. Arthur sighed, standing up from his place.
"I'll be back, I promise. In a few hours." He said, and turned to leave, but the boy's voice stopped him.
"Oh, um, you forgot your cape." He said, awkwardly, and stood before pulling the cape off and walking over to hold it out to Arthur.
"Keep it." Arthur said, "So you know I'll be back." And then he flashed a smile at the boy and turned to walk out of the cave, only to be stopped by the boy's voice once again.
"Merlin. My name is Merlin." He said, and when Arthur turned around he could see the boy's lips stretched out the slightest amount, making a small smile on his face. It made Arthur feel like he'd finally done something right.
~•~
When he came back later that night, Arthur found Merlin snuggled up in his cape, with the fire still burning brightly in front of him. He didn't have the heart to wake him just yet. Setting down the basket he filled with food from the kitchens, he went back to his horse to retrieve the blankets he'd piled on before he left. When he returned, he puts them on top of Merlin, who just nestled into them comfortably. Arthur sat next to him and resolved to stay until he woke up.
A cold wind came into the cave, making Arthur shiver. He'd foregone his armor when he came back, thinking it would draw too much attention if he met anyone else in the forest. Even though he was cold, he knew he'd be fine, and could only bring himself to think of Merlin. The boy looked so pale, so malnourished, that he couldn't help but care for him. Did he have a family? Why was he out here all alone? Was he a criminal? Arthur couldn't help but wonder exactly who Merlin was, and why he was out in the woods late at night. Looking over at him again, Arthur noticed his teeth chattering in his sleep, and moved over to him to wrap the blankets around him tighter. Then he placed a hand on Merlin's forehead, and noticed it's burning hot.
He must have a fever, Arthur thought, he needs help. There was nothing he could do for Merlin, because he was not a skilled physician. He would need to take him to Gaius as soon as Merlin woke up, for fear that his fever would get worse than it had already become. Letting out a sigh, Arthur sat beside Merlin and let a hand run through the boy's hair. It was already splayed in every direction, and Arthur tried to flatten it out, but the attempt was in vain. The touch must have woken Merlin, because he yawned and stretched out, (similarly to a kitten, but Arthur wouldn't be caught dead thinking about adorable kittens) and then his eyes opened and he saw Arthur above him, to which he proceeded to move as far away as possible.
"You- you actually came back?!" He questioned, as he once again, pushed himself into a wall. This time, however, he was wrapped in several blankets, which he had only just noticed. "You brought me blankets?" He asked, hugging them closer to his body, before noticing the picnic basket next to Arthur.
Arthur noticed where Merlin was looking, and quickly moved the basket into his range before scooting over toward him and opening it up.
"And food... I thought you might be hungry..." Arthur said, shyly. Merlin sat himself across from him, in front of the basket, and cautiously reached into it, as if waiting for something to jump out and bite at his hand. He pulled out a bread roll, and he gaped at it and widened his eyes at Arthur, who made a motion for him to go on. He went to bite into it, glad because he hadn't eaten anything in days, but stopped before it could so much as reach his mouth.
"Wait." He said, and narrowed his eyes at Arthur. "How do I know this isn't poisonous?" To which, Arthur sighed and grabbed the roll before taking a fairly large bite out of it, to prove his point. He decided he wanted to have a bit of fun, so he chewed on it quickly before swallowing it down and speaking.
"See, it's fine-," And before he could finish his phrase, he toppled over onto his side and played dead. He heard Merlin gasp and move over to him, before he started shaking Arthur violently.
"Arthur?! Prince Arthur?!" He said, and his voice wavered over each syllable, "I've gone and killed the prince, now they're going to come after me..." He wondered aloud, and Arthur took it as the moment to open his eyes, only to see Merlin hovering above him, looking down at him. At Merlin's confused and slightly afraid face, he smiled brightly and laughed a bit, only to receive a fist hammered into his chest. He grunted. "You clotpole! You made me think you were actually dead!"
"You didn't trust that I would bring you food that wasn't poisoned, what else was I supposed to do?" He sat up and Merlin crawled off of him, sitting against the wall and crossing his arms, glaring at Arthur. He pouted, and Arthur thought it made him look the age that he actually was, rather than his dark under eye circles and frail body made him look older than he was. "Alright, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, will you forgive me?" He took an apple from the basket and offered it in his hand, and a smile stretched out on his face when Merlin took it.
Only to throw it back at Arthur, where it hit him in the stomach—hard. He yelped, clutching at his stomach, and heard Merlin let out a giggle that turned into full-fledged laughter. Smirking, Arthur jumped at him, pushing him to the ground so he was lying on the ground with Arthur above him. This time, Merlin was the one who yelped.
Arthur found himself looking into clear blue eyes that looked like they held every emotion Merlin could have. He leaned down toward Merlin so they were almost nose to nose. The boy looked almost afraid, but not completely, as if he knew Arthur wouldn't hurt him.
"Clotpole?" He questioned, to which Merlin burst out into laughter, not even bothering to hold back. Arthur propped himself up and pulled Merlin up with him, before offering the basket of food once again. This time, Merlin reached in and pulled out another apple, biting into it without hesitating. He moaned at the sweet taste, chewing it quickly before taking another bite.
"Don't eat too quickly, you'll get sick." Arthur said. Merlin only made a face at him before proceeding to continue eating like he hadn't in days—which he hadn't. They talked a bit as he'd eaten, but mostly Arthur just watched as Merlin took out item after item and tried it before devouring it. After he'd proceeded to eat as much as he possibly could, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, he spoke up.
"Why are you being so nice? You have nothing to gain from it. You're the Prince of Camelot. You can have anything you want." Merlin said, genuinely curious as to why Arthur was with him instead of in his castle and his probably very fancy bed.
"I care about my people, believe it or not." He sighed, "It's hard to see people continually suffer and look to you for what to do about it. If I could sort out everyone's problems, I would."
"I can see how it would be hard, to have a weight on your shoulders like that." Merlin sniffled. Arthur remembered he wanted to get the boy some help.
"You're sick, Merlin. You have a fever. I want to take you back to Camelot so you can get better." He stood, and held out a hand to Merlin, who looked at it but didn't take it.
"I can't go to Camelot."
"Why not?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I can't!" Merlin said, standing up and glaring right back at Arthur.
"Merlin, you're not giving me a valid answer. You're ill, and I want to get you better. This cave isn't safe for you to stay in while in your condition." Arthur reached and took one of Merlin's hands in his, warming it. It was almost as if he was showing his point, because even though he'd been wrapped in blankets, his hands were still freezing.
"My condition, huh?" He said, and then he started mumbling. "That's a new way to phrase it..." Arthur took a step closer in an attempt to hear, still holding Merlin's hand.
"What? What are you talking about?" Arthur asked. He took Merlin's other hand and rubbed circles into the backs of both of his hands, trying to calm him down enough so that he would tell Arthur exactly what was wrong. He wanted to know, he wanted to help, if only Merlin knew that he wasn't the enemy. It seemed as though he was used to keeping things to himself, thinking that no one else would care. But Arthur cared, he cared so much for this boy he had only just met, it began to scare him.
"I'm not... normal, Arthur. They used to-," He hiccuped, "They used to-," And then Merlin let out a sob, and Arthur drew him into his arms, resting his head against Merlin's hair. He let Merlin cry into his shoulder, for once not caring that it would ruin his shirt. Merlin could ruin all his shirts if he wanted to, and Arthur would keep letting him. After hearing him sob so loudly, so achingly, the only thing he wanted for Merlin was for him to smile and laugh out of complete and utter happiness.
"They used to what?" Arthur asked, softly, hoping he wasn't pushing. He wanted to be told, yes, but if it would make Merlin uncomfortable he didn't want to force him.
"They used to call me a monster- and a- a freak." Merlin sobbed, trembling in Arthur's arms. "Bu- but I can't control it, it's not my fault! I just-," He sniffled, "I can't..." Arthur was confused, to say the least. Why would they call this sweet, kind boy a monster? As far as he had seen, Merlin was caring and innocent, what could have possibly made him earn the title of a monster?
"Why would they call you a monster?" Arthur asked. Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur's eyes, and when he found them looking right back at him, he shut his eyes tightly, and Arthur found himself yearning for them to open again, so he could see that crystal blue color he'd very quickly come to love. He raised a hand to stroke through Merlin's hair, and found the boy's trembling slowing down. It made him glad that he could help, if only a little bit.
Merlin opened his eyes, but instead of the sea blue Arthur had expected, they were a shimmering gold. The color in his irises was alive, and he knew exactly what that meant. Magic. He flinched away from Merlin, backing himself into the opposite wall. And then Merlin was holding fire in his right hand, and then in his left, and then both his hands were entirely enveloped in it. It rose up his arms, to his shoulders, and then it went down his body as if it had been poured on him, as if it was a bucket of water. None of his clothes were burning, it was almost amazing. Finally, the fire covered his head, engulfing it in its entirety. His body was feeding the flame, and yet he wasn't burning, wasn't injured. It was almost beautiful, but everything that it meant made Arthur's head spin.
Then, it stopped. Merlin fell to his knees, and the cave seemed so much darker than it had a second ago, when there'd been so much more life. He let out a sob as he laid in the gravel, as if he'd just lost everything he cared for in his life. For all Arthur knew, he had. It made his head turn and his mind reel, because he knew Merlin wasn't, and couldn't possibly, be a bad person. And yet, he'd just shown that he had magic—very powerful magic, at that—and weren't all sorcerers enemies of Camelot?
"There. Now you've seen it. Take me away, like you probably planned to. I won't resist; there's nothing left for me anymore." Merlin said, and this time it was Arthur that was trembling, because how could he possibly dare to take someone who seemed to have already given up to their death? He heard as sobs wracked through Merlin, and watched as he lied on the floor on his side and pulled his knees up to his chest.
"What-, what did you mean when you said you couldn't control it?" Arthur asked, because wasn't magic something people chose to do? Wasn't that why they'd outlawed it, because it corrupted even the most innocent of people?
"I was born with it. The magic, I mean. I was lifting objects with a look before I could crawl, and my body would burst into flames before I figured out how to control it. Everyone in my village knew about it. They started calling me- um-, a-," He had trouble getting the word out, as if someone had removed it from his vocabulary. In reality, it'd been so far engraved into his brain that even thinking about it made his heart ache and his head hurt.
"A monster." Arthur supplied, immediately flinching at his tone of voice, as if he believed that Merlin was what they thought he was, which he did not.
"Yes. That." Merlin said, and then he was shivering again, and pulling the blankets Arthur had brought him around his body. He sniffled again and wiped the tears from his eyes, to no avail. He was still crying. "I suppose you think of me that way as well, now. Magic has always been outlawed in Camelot. If you're planning on killing me, I don't think burning me at the stake would be very productive." There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and Arthur concluded that he wanted to see him smile bigger, and brighter. He would not see Merlin killed, even if it meant getting himself killed in the process.
"Do you really think you should be joking about death in your condition?" Arthur started, only slightly condescending, with a teasing tone. Merlin looked frightened, sitting up in his place and wiping off the pebbles that had stuck to his cheek. Arthur took a few steps over to him, before settling down next to him, as close as he could be. "You're shivering so hard you're going to give me your illness." And Merlin turned his head toward Arthur, confused. That is, until he wrapped around Merlin's waist and then placed another underneath his chin to hold it in place, before placing his lips on Merlin's.
Arthur could taste salty tears on Merlin's lips, from the tears that had been frequenting his cheeks all night. He wouldn't change it for the world. He tugged Merlin's lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it lightly, and then Merlin opened his mouth and Arthur could taste the strawberries he'd eaten earlier, that Arthur had brought. He'd told Arthur that he'd never had a strawberry before, to which he proceeded to cherish each and every single one, savoring the taste and licking his lips.
It had almost made Arthur go crazy. His lips, almost the same exact color as the berries themselves, and the sight of Merlin sucking on each one made Arthur sure he was doing it on purpose. If only to elicit a reaction from him, which Arthur figured had worked. He pulled Merlin closer to him, wrapping both his arms around the blanket-armor the boy had created.
Arthur pulled away and kept his arms wrapped around Merlin, pulling him into his lap. He let the boy rest his head on his chest, and pressed a kiss into his hair before hugging him tighter and pressing his cheek onto Merlin's head. Merlin's arms were wrapped around him in return, and he snuggled into Arthur's arms and stayed there, breathing softly.
"For what it's worth," Arthur said, "I don't think you're a monster, and I never want you to think about yourself that way, okay?"
And then, just like the beginning of the night, Merlin was crying, but this time, it was for another reason entirely.