Chapter Text
``````
Friday
``````
10:43 PM 03/09/07
where r u dude?
10:45 PM 03/09/07
im bleeding all over this fugly comforter
10:46 PM 03/09/07
Are you alright?
10:46 PM 03/09/07
yeah just get back here
10:46 PM 03/09/07
u kno its a bitch 2 stitch up 1 handed
10:47 PM 03/09/07
If you require stitches, I would suggest you go to the hospital.
10:48 PM 03/09/07
ha fukin ha ur hilarious
10:49 PM 03/09/07
Should I call an ambulance?
10:49 PM 03/09/07
wtf?
10:51 PM 03/09/07
oh shit this is def a wrong number
10:52 PM 03/09/07
I gathered as much.
10:55 PM 03/09/07
You say you’re bleeding? Do you require assistance?
10:56 PM 03/09/07
ive got it handled
10:57 PM 03/09/07
Are you certain?
```
11:40 PM 03/09/07
I hope all is well.
``````
Saturday
``````
09:04 AM 03/10/07
Hello. Are you alright?
09:11 AM 03/10/07
After last night’s correspondence, I find myself…concerned.
09:29 AM 03/10/07
wtf, really?
09:33 AM 03/10/07
well…yeah, im good
09:37 AM 03/10/07
I’m glad.
09:44 AM 03/10/07
guess i should say srry for the weird txts
09:46 AM 03/10/07
Not at all.
09:50 AM 03/10/07
It wasn’t too serious, then?
09:51 AM 03/10/07
what?
09:52 AM 03/10/07
Your wound. You were bleeding.
09:54 AM 03/10/07
oh, not even. cut my arm up, my brother took care of it. hurts like a bitch tho
09:55 AM 03/10/07
I’m sorry to hear that.
09:57 AM 03/10/07
tis but a scratch
``````
Monday
``````
01:02 PM 03/19/07
Are you healing well?
01:03 PM 03/19/07
whoa, is this my cali txt?
01:05 PM 03/19/07
Perhaps? I’m unsure what that means.
01:06 PM 03/19/07
was passing thru los angeles when i first txted u
01:07 PM 03/19/07
I see.
01:08 PM 03/19/07
I only wanted to check in. Barring complications, your stitches should be taken out soon.
01:09 PM 03/19/07
ha! yeah, took em out a couple days ago
01:11 PM 03/19/07
Was that…wise? By ‘soon’ I meant in a few days’ time, not a few days past.
01:13 PM 03/19/07
Not that it’s much business of mine.
01:14 PM 03/19/07
ur a real worrier, huh?
01:15 PM 03/19/07
The wound could easily reopen if not given the proper time to heal!
01:16 PM 03/19/07
psh
01:16 PM 03/19/07
its fine, ya nag
01:22 PM 03/19/07
they were itching like crazy!
01:25 PM 03/19/07
You must take care not to bump or pull at the wound.
01:27 PM 03/19/07
sure thing, nurse ratched
01:27 PM 03/19/07
The internet recommends you should avoid using bandages if not absolutely necessary.
01:28 PM 03/19/07
omg, ur actually researching this shit??
01:28 PM 03/19/07
thats just 4 when the stitches are in, tho. they get infected
01:29 PM 03/19/07
this aint my first rodeo
01:30 PM 03/19/07
With your cavalier attitude, I’m inclined to believe you!
01:32 PM 03/19/07
Though, I must admit my curiosity. How did you injure yourself?
02:07 PM 03/19/07
I apologize. I don’t mean to pry.
02:14 PM 03/19/07
ur a funny one, u know?
02:16 PM 03/19/07
some guy txts u saying hes bleeding all over the place and u strike up a conversation? stick with it? i woulda chalked my ass up as crazy and said fuck off
02:17 PM 03/19/07
I was…alarmed.
02:17 PM 03/19/07
But intrigued.
02:19 PM 03/19/07
heh…mystery and intrigue. cant say no to that
```
04:08 PM 03/19/07
well, if ur gonna, txt me at 8669073235
04:09 PM 03/19/07
this phones 2 shitty 4 txting
``````
Tuesday
``````
07:12 PM 03/20/07
Hello, stranger.
07:13 PM 03/20/07
I’m not actually going for mysterious, you know.
07:13 PM 03/20/07
The name’s Dean.
07:14 PM 03/20/07
Hello, Dean.
07:15 PM 03/20/07
My name is Castiel.
07:16 PM 03/20/07
Yeah?
07:16 PM 03/20/07
Yes?
07:17 PM 03/20/07
It’s an odd name, is all.
07:18 PM 03/20/07
I was named for the Angel of Thursday.
07:20 PM 03/20/07
So, yes.
07:21 PM 03/20/07
An angel, huh?
07:23 PM 03/20/07
Is that a…girl’s name? Guy’s?
07:25 PM 03/20/07
I don’t know that it’s a ‘guy’s’ name, but I happen to be male.
07:26 PM 03/20/07
Cool.
07:26 PM 03/20/07
Is it?
07:28 PM 03/20/07
Duh. I was just curious.
07:29 PM 03/20/07
Yes, Dean.
07:30 PM 03/20/07
Still a weird name.
07:30 PM 03/20/07
Yes, Dean.
07:34 PM 03/20/07
So…
07:34 PM 03/20/07
Yes, Dean?
07:36 PM 03/20/07
Aw, dude, you’re totally fucking with me!
07:36 PM 03/20/07
Yes, Dean.
07:38 PM 03/20/07
Nice, here I’m thinking I’ve pissed you off and you’re giving me the run-around!
07:38 PM 03/20/07
Is this how you treat all your rando mis-dails?
07:39 PM 03/20/07
Only the ones who make it so easy for me.
07:39 PM 03/20/07
And let’s not forget it was you who mis-dialed, not I.
07:40 PM 03/20/07
Yeah, yeah. You got me there.
07:42 PM 03/20/07
I notice your grammar has improved.
07:43 PM 03/20/07
The wonders of a full keypad.
07:43 PM 03/20/07
And hey, screw off! Don’t go being a Sammy.
07:44 PM 03/20/07
Sammy?
07:45 PM 03/20/07
My dork little brother, always going on about professionalism or some shit.
07:46 PM 03/20/07
Sound advice.
07:48 PM 03/20/07
You’re pretty sassy, you know that?
07:49 PM 03/20/07
I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.
07:49 PM 03/20/07
Uh huh. Sure you don’t.
``````
Friday
``````
07:26 PM 03/23/07
Castiel, Angel of Thursday!
07:27 PM 03/23/07
Just Castiel will suffice.
07:28 PM 03/23/07
Okay, Cas, whatever you say.
07:28 PM 03/23/07
How’s it hanging?
07:29 PM 03/23/07
I’m well. How are you?
07:30 PM 03/23/07
‘I’m well.’
07:31 PM 03/23/07
You’re a hoot, man. Are you some 70yr old grandpa who’s suspiciously good at texting, or do you just talk like one?
07:33 PM 03/23/07
I’m significantly younger than that!
07:33 PM 03/23/07
Age and eloquence are not mutually exclusive.
07:34 PM 03/23/07
Significantly younger, huh?
07:35 PM 03/23/07
You’re fishing, Dean.
07:36 PM 03/23/07
Aw, come on.
07:36 PM 03/23/07
I’m 28, how about you?
07:37 PM 03/23/07
I appreciate your candor.
07:38 PM 03/23/07
‘Candor.’ You MUST be playing me again.
07:40 PM 03/23/07
I am 33, if you must know.
07:41 PM 03/23/07
See? Was that so hard?
```
08:53 PM 03/23/07
So what’re your big plans for tonight?
08:54 PM 03/23/07
Am I required to have plans for tonight?
08:54 PM 03/23/07
Damn right you are! It’s Friday night!
08:55 PM 03/23/07
Well…I’m sorry to disappoint.
08:56 PM 03/23/07
Uh, lame? Sammy and I are working tonight, I need some vicarious entertainment!
08:58 PM 03/23/07
I’m afraid the highlight of my evening will be a pot of coffee and a manuscript on Mesoamerican spirituality.
08:59 PM 03/23/07
Dude…
09:00 PM 03/23/07
I will also be working tonight.
09:01 PM 03/23/07
That is…SO lame.
09:01 PM 03/23/07
What even are you??
09:04 PM 03/23/07
Human male, 33 years of age, approximately 6’, shoe size US 11…
09:05 PM 03/23/07
Ha fuckin’ ha, aren’t you funny. You know what I mean!
09:07 PM 03/23/07
I’m an academic, I suppose. Mainly I consult on research and literature which fall under my areas of expertise.
09:08 PM 03/23/07
Areas which include…Mesoamerican spirituality.
09:08 PM 03/23/07
Most spiritualities and religions, yes.
09:10 PM 03/23/07
I hold a Bachelor’s in comparative religion, Master’s in language and semiotics, and a Doctorate in sacred texts.
09:12 PM 03/23/07
Dude.
09:12 PM 03/23/07
So what I’m hearing is.
09:12 PM 03/23/07
You’re a professional nerd.
09:13 PM 03/23/07
I’m not sure I appreciate that!
09:13 PM 03/23/07
Oh man, this is priceless…
09:14 PM 03/23/07
I’m very well respected in my field!
09:14 PM 03/23/07
Shit, please tell me you wear dorky glasses.
09:15 PM 03/23/07
No, Dean, I do not require corrective lenses.
09:16 PM 03/23/07
‘Corrective lenses,’ what the fuck, how are you even real.
09:17 PM 03/23/07
I bet you teach classes! You totally do!
09:17 PM 03/23/07
You a sweater-vest kind of guy?
09:17 PM 03/23/07
HERBAL TEA.
09:18 PM 03/23/07
Maybe I should pass you off to Sammy.
09:18 PM 03/23/07
Spread the geek! Share the love of all things dweeb!
09:21 PM 03/23/07
Aw, come on. I’m only messing with you.
09:22 PM 03/23/07
Oh, I know. But you seemed to be entertaining yourself.
09:22 PM 03/23/07
Hey!
09:23 PM 03/23/07
I presume you’ve finished, then?
09:23 PM 03/23/07
FINE, fun-suck.
09:24 PM 03/23/07
Sorry, Cas.
09:24 PM 03/23/07
Oh…
09:24 PM 03/23/07
I mean…sorry…
09:24 PM 03/23/07
DOCTOR Cas.
09:25 PM 03/23/07
I can assure you, Dean, no one refers to me as ‘Dr. Cas’.
09:26 PM 03/23/07
Well, ain’t that a shame.
```
10:18 PM 03/23/07
Just Cas is cool though, right?
10:20 PM 03/23/07
I mean, ‘Castiel,’ how do you even pronounce that?
10:20 PM 03/23/07
Most know me as Jimmy, actually.
10:20 PM 03/23/07
Uh…Jimmy??
10:20 PM 03/23/07
Cas-TEE-el
10:21 PM 03/23/07
Dude.
10:22 PM 03/23/07
For my middle name, James.
10:22 PM 03/23/07
In truth, I prefer Castiel.
10:23 PM 03/23/07
But you go by Jimmy!
10:25 PM 03/23/07
A childhood moniker that has carried through to adulthood, despite my best efforts.
10:26 PM 03/23/07
You are so not a Jimmy.
10:28 PM 03/23/07
James was my father’s name.
10:30 PM 03/23/07
Oh. So…
10:30 PM 03/23/07
Not a Jimmy?
10:33 PM 03/23/07
Though I loved him dearly, Castiel is a name that feels more my own.
10:36 PM 03/23/07
Cas is fine, Dean.
10:38 PM 03/23/07
Well, good.
10:39 PM 03/23/07
‘Cause, no offense to your dad or anything, but Cas is way cooler than Jimmy.
10:40 PM 03/23/07
And man, you need all the help you can get.
``````
Saturday (and Sunday)
``````
05:58 PM 03/24/07
I’m curious, Dean.
06:02 PM 03/24/07
What work kept you and your brother away from an eventful Friday evening?
06:05 PM 03/24/07
You seemed to view it an awful injustice.
06:12 PM 03/24/07
Aw, this and that.
06:14 PM 03/24/07
Very precise.
06:14 PM 03/24/07
Yeah, well, I try.
06:17 PM 03/24/07
Sammy and I are in the family business. It keeps us busy.
06:18 PM 03/24/07
Why does that sound rather…ominous?
06:19 PM 03/24/07
Ha! Yep, that’s me: film noir mobster badass.
06:22 PM 03/24/07
But seriously, it’s fine. Just probably something we shouldn’t talk about.
06:23 PM 03/24/07
That is…no less worrying.
06:30 PM 03/24/07
I apologize. It seems I’ve made you uncomfortable.
06:31 PM 03/24/07
No way, Cas, it’s okay.
06:31 PM 03/24/07
It’s not your fault a simple question has a complicated answer.
06:33 PM 03/24/07
I understand.
06:33 PM 03/24/07
You may keep your secrets.
06:35 PM 03/24/07
Oh, I may, may I?
06:36 PM 03/24/07
Of course.
```
12:17 AM 03/24/07
Dean…
12:17 AM 03/24/07
Are you safe?
12:19 AM 03/24/07
Well, I’m not dead yet.
12:23 AM 03/24/07
I’m not actually a mobster, dude.
12:25 AM 03/24/07
I will trust that’s true.
``````
Tuesday
``````
03:12 PM 03/27/07
Mesoamerican religion is very strongly tied to cosmology.
03:13 PM 03/27/07
Most notably, the concepts of space and time were assigned tremendous importance.
03:17 PM 03/27/07
Early Mesoamerican societies had an astonishingly broad understanding of the planets and other celestial bodies. On Astronomical matters, they were truly well before their time.
03:20 PM 03/27/07
In fact, of all the ancient calendar systems, those of the Mesoamericans are by far the most accurate and complex.
03:22 PM 03/27/07
Their 365-day calendar of Haab predates the conception of our modern calendar by more than 2000 years, yet is remarkably similar in most ways.
03:34 PM 03/27/07
…Cas.
03:35 PM 03/27/07
For your own good.
03:35 PM 03/27/07
For the love of pie and Norris and everything holy.
03:36 PM 03/27/07
Step AWAY from the manuscript.
``````
Thursday
``````
09:01 AM 03/29/07
Were you aware that, in order to avoid insect irritation, Pharaoh Pepi II was often accompanied by several naked slaves, their bodies bathed in honey?
09:02 AM 03/29/07
Uh…nope…can’t say I was.
09:02 AM 03/29/07
It’s quite ingenious.
09:04 AM 03/29/07
But what about the slaves, poor bastards! No way would I work for some asshole who made me walk around sticky and covered in bees, what the hell?!
09:07 AM 03/29/07
They were slaves, Dean. The pharaohs of ancient Egypt were revered as gods; their word and will considered divine law. The slaves had little choice in the matter.
11:09 AM 03/29/07
But yes, I imagine it was quite uncomfortable.
11:09 AM 03/29/07
Cheery, Cas.
```
01:56 PM 03/29/07
Domesticated felines were also considered sacred in ancient Egyptian society.
02:03 PM 03/29/07
Everyone knows that one, dude.
02:05 PM 03/29/07
Gotta say, not as interesting as Pepi Le Douche.
02:11 PM 03/29/07
Killing a cat, even accidentally, was a grave enough offense as to incur the death penalty.
02:13 PM 03/29/07
The animal owners would often also shave their eyebrows in mourning, to honor the deceased.
02:17 PM 03/29/07
I’m allergic, man. I say fuck ‘em.
``````
Friday
``````
10:26 PM 03/30/07
Hinduism is humanity’s oldest religion.
10:34 PM 03/30/07
What, the one with the elephant dude?
10:35 PM 03/30/07
Ganesha is one of many Hindu gods, yes.
```
11:11 PM 03/30/07
So? You’re gonna leave me hanging?
11:11 PM 03/30/07
How old?
``````
Sunday
``````
08:12 AM 04/01/07
Hey, why can’t ghosts have kids?
08:14 AM 04/01/07
Spirits are not corporeal.
08:15 AM 04/01/07
Well, yeah, they’ve got a Halloweenie!
08:17 AM 04/01/07
…I see.
```
01:40 PM 04/01/07
What did the letter O say to the letter Q?
01:47 PM 04/01/07
Hm. I don’t know, Dean.
01:48 PM 04/01/07
“Dude, why’s your junk hanging out??”
```
04:33 PM 04/01/07
Why do mermaids wear seashells?
04:35 PM 04/01/07
Strangely enough, I suspect you’ll tell me.
04:36 PM 04/01/07
‘Cause they’ve outgrown their B-cups!
```
06:51 PM 04/01/07
Dean.
06:54 PM 04/01/07
Yeah?
06:55 PM 04/01/07
How do you impress the baker’s daughter?
06:56 PM 04/01/07
Oh, I can think of a few ways…
06:57 PM 04/01/07
You bring her flours.
06:59 PM 04/01/07
Oh my GOD you’re such a fucking nerd.
06:59 PM 04/01/07
That’s WAY cornier than mine were!!
07:00 PM 04/01/07
Happy April Fools, correct?
07:02 PM 04/01/07
Although… I was under the impression that April Fools was for practical jokes, not bad puns.
07:05 PM 04/01/07
Yeah, well, I can’t really prank you, can I? I figured I’d treat you to some of my awesome jokes instead!
07:06 PM 04/01/07
Sammy, though, I got him good! No holds barred!
07:07 PM 04/01/07
I dread to ask.
``````
Wednesday
``````
10:23 PM 04/04/07
I’ve been thinking.
10:48 PM 04/04/07
Monkeys are clever.
10:48 PM 04/04/07
And rather sensible.
10:50 PM 04/04/07
Is it really necessary to test cosmetics on them?
``````
Thursday
``````
12:47 PM 04/05/07
I would liberate them from their cages.
01:20 PM 04/05/07
The monkeys.
01:23 PM 04/05/07
If given the opportunity.
```
03:38 PM 04/05/07
But where would I put them all?
```
08:12 PM 04/05/07
Hello?
``````
Saturday
``````
09:58 AM 04/07/07
Dean, please respond if you are able.
10:01 AM 04/07/07
We haven’t known each other long, you and I, but I feel this silence is unlike you.
```
05:22 PM 04/07/07
Dean??
``````
Sunday
``````
11:50 PM 04/08/07
If you wish to stop our correspondence, I’d understand.
11:53 PM 04/08/07
But please, at least let me know you are safe and unharmed.
``````
Tuesday
``````
It’s already some dark hour of ass o’clock when they tear out of Green County, but with the full weight of the FBI at their backs – and a fresh taste of what it means to get caught – it’s two state lines and the better part of four hours before they both agree to stop.
“Goddamn,” Dean sighs and drops his head to the steering wheel, eyes closed and ready for sleep. Sam huffs in agreement and unfolds from beside him, exiting the car to move from the front and slide into the back, stretching out as much as his long legs allow.
Dean groans as he lies down across the front bench, stiff from grave digging and the drive. “Watch your feet, Sammy,” he grumbles. “Scuff the leather and you’re a dead man.”
Sam scoffs. “Yeah, well, prison. I don’t know about you, but I’m not looking to get picked up by Henriksen just because we stopped to book a room in the first city out.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dean says, irritable. “I heard you the first twenty times.”
They quiet for a few moments, relaxing into the familiar scent and feel of the Impala; which were, complaints aside, a very welcome change from prison cots and the unfamiliar presence of a stranger cell-mate.
“Hey,” Sam says, breaking the sleepy silence, “hand me my phone, would you? We haven’t checked them in, like, a week.”
Dean fumbles for the latch on the glove compartment and digs out his and Sam’s cells. He blindly tosses back the Blackberry – “Ow, you dick!” – and sets to powering up his own two Motorolas. Sam’s right; it’s been awhile, and Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t maybe hoping to see if his text-accident Castiel had messaged him again. He counted it as unlikely, though, reminding himself (again, his unkind thoughts point out) of the half-week stretch of radio silence between April Fool’s and the hunt at Green County.
Dean blinks blearily at the newly-illuminated screen.
14 new messages
“Sonuvabitch,” Dean breathes.
``````
04:33 AM 04/10/07
Shit, Cas, I’m such a dick. I had to stash my phone for a few days. I’m back, we’re okay, and everything’s cool.
04:39 AM 04/10/07
I was NOT giving you the cold shoulder. So, fuck no, I don’t want you to stop texting me.
```
04:56 AM 04/10/07
I’m going to turn this off and crash for a few hours. We’ll talk later, okay?
```
07:04 AM 04/10/07
You owe me nothing, Dean. I’m just relieved to know you’re alright.
```
08:38 AM 04/10/07
It’s not about owing you, man.
08:42 AM 04/10/07
Look, you gotta know.
08:47 AM 04/10/07
Fuck… I don’t know.
08:50 AM 04/10/07
It’s not weird for me and Sammy to drop off the grid from time to time.
08:52 AM 04/10/07
What’s weird is having someone around enough that it matters when we do.
08:52 AM 04/10/07
Dean…
08:54 AM 04/10/07
So.
08:55 AM 04/10/07
That’s me, sad sack of shit with a sad sack, fucked up life.
08:59 AM 04/10/07
You shouldn’t speak of yourself so.
09:01 AM 04/10/07
You don’t know a thing about me.
09:05 AM 04/10/07
Wouldn’t say that if you did.
09:07 AM 04/10/07
I know enough that I, too, would rather not see an end to our communications.
09:21 AM 04/10/07
I don’t… I just don’t get you, Cas.
09:21 AM 04/10/07
How have I not got you running for the hills?
09:23 AM 04/10/07
Mystery and intrigue, was it not?
09:25 AM 04/10/07
Dude. Did you just…?
09:26 AM 04/10/07
:)
09:27 AM 04/10/07
Oh my god, you did!
09:27 AM 04/10/07
And, Christ on a cracker, please tell me that’s not a smiley face.
09:28 AM 04/10/07
They’re called emoticons.
09:28 AM 04/10/07
Emoticons. Of course they are.
09:29 AM 04/10/07
;D
09:31 AM 04/10/07
I’m glad you’re back, Dean.
```
03:11 PM 04/10/07
Cas, buddy.
03:13 PM 04/10/07
I think we’re gonna need to have a talk about chick flick moments.
``````
Wednesday
``````
02:46 PM 04/11/07
How important is lipstick to you, Dean?
``````
Thursday
``````
12:55 AM 04/19/07
Dean, where the hell are you? Did you find the Djinn?
```
09:22 PM 04/19/07
Incoming call
“Hello?”
“Um…hi. Is this…Cas?”
“Yes, this is he. May I ask who’s speaking?”
“Hey, yeah, sorry. I…uh, I don’t know if he’s mentioned me, but this is Sam? Dean’s brother?”
“Sam? Yes, Dean speaks of you quite often.”
“Uh, wow, really?”
“Yes, he does. It’s nice to…meet you, as it were.”
“Hey, yeah— Yeah, you too.”
“Is everything alright?”
“I was…well, I was kinda hoping you could tell me.”
“I’m not sure I…?”
“Shit, sorry. Um, have you heard from Dean today?”
“No, I haven’t. Though he did inform me yesterday that he was busy, and with you. On a job, he said. His silence today, I thought nothing of it.”
“Wow, what? Did he…uh, I mean, has he told you…?”
“No. He talks about your work in only the most general of terms. Sam, what’s happened to Dean?”
“I don’t…fuck, I don’t know. Look, I…I’m really sorry to call you like this but I just, I know he talks to you, like, a lot, and I pulled your number from his phone a while ago— Shit, sorry, I know that’s messed up— But I haven’t heard from him since last night, and he was…fuck, he… Damn it, he’s so stupid! And I knew it was a long shot but I was hoping you’d… God, I don’t know, I’m sorry. Sorry, I—”
“Sam! Breathe. You need to breathe.”
“Fuck…”
“What can I do to help?”
“You can’t— I don’t— There’s nothing. I’m doing it. The only thing I can.”
“Are you absolutely certain? Sam, please, he’s my friend.”
“Yeah, I… I’m sure. Thanks, though.”
“Sam…”
“Look, man, I’ll find him. And then I’ll kick his ass for being an idiot.”
“Sam, wai—”
09:29 PM 04/19/07
Call ended
```
09:36 PM 04/19/07
Your brother called.
09:38 PM 04/19/07
Be safe.
``````
Friday
``````
11:17 PM 04/20/07
He shouldn’t have done that.
11:20 PM 04/20/07
Perhaps not. But I’m glad he did.
11:22 PM 04/20/07
What happened, Dean?
11:25 PM 04/20/07
I don’t know what to tell you, man.
11:26 PM 04/20/07
Same thing that always happens.
11:28 PM 04/20/07
I fucked up. Got in deep, barely dragged myself out.
11:34 PM 04/20/07
Dean…
11:34 PM 04/20/07
Is it drugs?
11:35 PM 04/20/07
Jesus, what?
11:35 PM 04/20/07
No! Fuck no!
11:36 PM 04/20/07
I’m not doing drugs, Cas, Jesus.
11:37 PM 04/20/07
What am I to think?
11:38 PM 04/20/07
Not that!
11:39 PM 04/20/07
Dean.
11:39 PM 04/20/07
Cas.
11:41 PM 04/20/07
You’re okay?
11:45 PM 04/20/07
Yeah… I’m okay.
``````
Saturday
``````
05:51 PM 04/21/07
Hi, Cas. This is Sam.
05:51 PM 04/21/07
Dean’s brother, Sam.
05:53 PM 04/21/07
Yes. Hello, Sam.
05:54 PM 04/21/07
I really wanted to say sorry.
05:56 PM 04/21/07
For, you know…kind of stealing your number and calling and dumping my crazy on you.
05:57 PM 04/21/07
He is your brother. There's no need to apologize for your concern.
05:59 PM 04/21/07
The violation of trust, however, I feel is a matter best taken up with Dean.
06:00 PM 04/21/07
Oh, believe me, he’s already ripped me a new one.
06:01 PM 04/21/07
I don’t doubt it. I’ve noticed Dean is not one to…hold it in.
06:01 PM 04/21/07
Hah! Yeah, you can say that again.
06:03 PM 04/21/07
Well. Despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, I certainly appreciate the opportunity to make your acquaintance.
06:03 PM 04/21/07
Dean tells me you attended Stanford?
```
“Dude!” Sam slams into the bathroom like there’s a wendigo on his ass, and Dean – who had only just managed to coax yet another temperamental no-tell shower to the perfect temperature and begun to relax into the spray – has a very interesting and confused few seconds in which he instinctively, simultaneously tries to shield his junk, duck for cover, and dive for the nearest weapon.
Dean blinks hard, squinting against the water at the bottle of Garnier Fructis he finds himself wielding, textbook-perfect pinch grip and crouched low behind the shower curtain.
“What,” he says, loud over the hiss of the shower and the pounding in his chest, “the fuck.”
“Dude,” Sam repeats, voice alarmingly close on the other side of the curtain – and, seriously, what the fuck, Sam is breaking so many Winchester Rules of Motel Cohabitation right now – “are you weird pen pal text-buddies with Dr. Castiel James Novak?”
```
06:23 PM 04/21/07
I think you broke my brother.
06:23 PM 04/21/07
Also, you’re talking to my brother??
06:24 PM 04/21/07
I am, yes. He seems to be familiar with my work.
06:24 PM 04/21/07
Uh, yeah, I heard. Sam is flipping his shit!
06:25 PM 04/21/07
You’re the God of gods, apparently?
06:26 PM 04/21/07
Don’t be ridiculous, Dean. A few publications and professional consultations hardly make me the leading expert.
06:26 PM 04/21/07
That’s not what Sammy says!
06:28 PM 04/21/07
I must admit, I was surprised when he knew me by name from my academic credentials alone.
06:28 PM 04/21/07
You said he studied pre-law, correct? Is religion and mythology a personal interest of his?
06:29 PM 04/21/07
Kid’s a genius. Everything’s a personal interest, the nerd.
```
06:30 PM 04/21/07
Dr. Novak, it’s such an honor.
06:30 PM 04/21/07
Sam, please, there’s no need for such formalities.
```
06:31 PM 04/21/07
Fuck, is he still texting you?
```
06:32 PM 04/21/07
Your research on the history of belief in the energy of the human soul is amazing.
```
06:33 PM 04/21/07
Oh, Jesus. He just pulled out a frickin’ book.
```
06:35 PM 04/21/07
So many culturally different and chronologically discrete belief systems, but the ritualistic parallelisms are insane! And all the lore backs you up, man. Magic, monsters, spirits, sacrifices; that power has to come from somewhere, right?
```
06:35 PM 04/21/07
Dude, you wrote a BOOK??
```
06:37 PM 04/21/07
If you don’t mind, can I get your opinion on a couple of things?
```
06:38 PM 04/21/07
If he’s bugging you, Cas, just say the word.
```
06:40 PM 04/21/07
Ugh, hold on a sec, Dean’s being an asshole.
```
06:44 PM 04/21/07
Seriously, what the HELL is happening here?!
``````
Sunday
``````
02:04 PM 04/22/07
Your brother has some very interesting thoughts on possible translation errors among the Dunhuang manuscripts.
02:06 PM 04/22/07
Of course he does.
02:08 PM 04/21/07
And, hell, it must be nice to talk to someone who’s got more than Harry Potter dick jokes when you’re in one of your Confucius moods.
02:09 PM 04/22/07
There’s no need to be jealous, Dean.
02:09 PM 04/22/07
The FUCK?
``````
Tuesday
``````
07:52 PM 04/24/07
I feel at a disadvantage.
07:54 PM 04/24/07
You know my full name, now. What I do. A cursory internet search will tell you where I live, what I look like. Any number of things.
07:55 PM 04/24/07
You think I’ve googled you?
07:55 PM 04/24/07
No way, man. I’ll leave the creepy Cas-stalking to Sammy.
07:56 PM 04/24/07
Besides, it’s not like you wanted me to know all that stuff. Sam told me, not you.
07:58 PM 04/24/07
I wouldn’t mind. If you wanted to know.
07:59 PM 04/24/07
Still not googling you, you weirdo.
08:00 PM 04/24/07
We’ll do it the old-fashioned way, then.
08:01 PM 04/24/07
Tell me something about yourself.
08:02 PM 04/24/07
Whoa, when did this get to be about me?!
08:03 PM 04/24/07
My disadvantage, Dean.
08:03 PM 04/24/07
Bullshit, that’s playing dirty!
08:04 PM 04/24/07
Perhaps.
08:04 PM 04/24/07
And besides, I already told you I don’t actually know your life story.
08:05 PM 04/24/07
We’ll take turns, then.
08:05 PM 04/24/07
Christ, what are we, 12?
08:08 PM 04/24/07
I live in Chicago, recently moved from Pontiac, Illinois. I work for a local university.
08:08 PM 04/24/07
Oh, jeez.
08:09 PM 04/24/07
Much of my time is spent on personal research, though I do occasionally teach special-offer courses. I do not, however, much care for herbal teas.
08:11 PM 04/24/07
No hobbies to speak of. Although I do watch an excessive amount of bad television.
08:12 PM 04/24/07
I enjoy parks. Flowers. Aquariums.
08:12 PM 04/24/07
Beautiful things.
08:14 PM 04/24/07
Wow, Cas. Sappy much?
08:15 PM 04/24/07
There’s no shame in enjoying the wonders of this world.
08:18 PM 04/24/07
It’s your turn, Dean.
08:20 PM 04/24/07
Fuck, fine. You win.
08:21 PM 04/24/07
I like cheap beer and expensive burgers. Music, sex, cars.
08:21 PM 04/24/07
I’m just a guy, Cas, really not that interesting.
08:23 PM 04/24/07
I’m really good with cars, though. If it’s broke, I can fix it.
08:25 PM 04/24/07
Do you have family? A home?
08:26 PM 04/24/07
Family, no. It’s just me and Sam, now.
08:29 PM 04/24/07
Had a house in Kansas, once. Our mom died. Dad packed us up and left.
08:31 PM 04/24/07
I mean… I told you I’ve been on the road with Sammy for a while but, truth is, it’s been like this since we were kids.
08:32 PM 04/24/07
Sam tried to settle down, with Stanford. Didn’t stick.
08:35 PM 04/24/07
Thank you for sharing, Dean.
08:36 PM 04/24/07
Yeah, yeah. Don’t get used to it.
08:38 PM 04/24/07
I’ve got one. A question.
08:40 PM 04/24/07
Yes?
08:41 PM 04/24/07
What do you look like?
08:42 PM 04/24/07
Really, now, you already know my height and shoe size. You need more?
08:42 PM 04/24/07
Ha, ha. Very funny.
08:43 PM 04/24/07
I did say there are pictures online.
08:44 PM 04/24/07
Yeah, well, there are of me too, if you know where to look.
08:44 PM 04/24/07
But I say that’s cheating, so you’re just gonna have to tell me.
08:45 PM 04/24/07
Very well.
08:48 PM 04/24/07
I am Caucasian. Brunette; hair dark brown and short. Blue eyes. Reasonably attractive, I’m told. Though I’ve also been told this is in spite of my disconcerting manner and poor dress sense.
08:49 PM 04/24/07
Uh, did you tell them to fuck off?
08:49 PM 04/24/07
I did not. Everyone is entitled to their opinions.
08:50 PM 04/24/07
You’re too nice for your own good, Cas.
08:52 PM 04/24/07
And you? What do you look like?
08:53 PM 04/24/07
Hmm, let’s see.
08:57 PM 04/24/07
6’1, brown-blond hair, green eyes… We keep active, so I’m pretty fit. Freckles everywhere, man, chicks dig it.
08:58 PM 04/24/07
Smoking hot, if I do say so myself.
08:59 PM 04/24/07
Modest, too.
09:00 PM 04/24/07
Hey, it ain’t bragging if it’s true!
09:00 PM 04/24/07
The truth is relative.
09:01 PM 04/24/07
Ha! Whatever, I’m practically Swayze.
```
10:45 PM 04/24/07
Dude…are you really a TV junkie??
``````
Friday
``````
11:28 AM 04/27/07
I need your help.
11:30 AM 04/27/07
On what matter?
11:32 AM 04/27/07
Well. It’s Sammy’s birthday in a few days.
11:33 AM 04/27/07
And normally b-days mean a six-pack and socks, special-order size Gigantor. The kid’s a bitch to buy for.
11:33 AM 04/27/07
I think I see where this is going.
11:33 AM 04/27/07
But THEN I thought.
11:34 AM 04/27/07
Who better to know the latest and greatest in the world of geek than you, right?
11:35 AM 04/27/07
I get the feeling you don’t often find yourself in the position of asking for favors.
11:36 AM 04/27/07
Come on, Cas! You guys are like, nerds of a feather. You gotta help me out!
11:38 AM 04/27/07
I thought… I don’t know, maybe I could surprise him this year. Get him something he’d actually like for a change.
11:39 AM 04/27/07
You have a very kind heart, Dean.
11:39 AM 04/27/07
Of course I’ll help.
``````
Sunday
``````
07:10 AM 04/29/07
We’ve got another day of driving; looking to hit Missouri ‘round dinnertime.
07:11 AM 04/29/07
You still working on that seminar thing?
```
03:48 PM 04/29/07
Dean, you really shouldn’t intentionally antagonize your brother.
04:21 PM 04/29/07
What the fuck?! The bitch snitched on me?!
04:23 PM 04/29/07
To be fair, six hours straight of George Thorogood does seem rather excessive.
```
06:03 PM 04/29/07
I think I’ll order Chinese tonight.
06:36 PM 04/29/07
Burgers again for you, I assume.
```
10:09 PM 04/29/07
Did you decide to drive through the night?
```
Dean stands outside the diner, gun drawn, the rank of sulfur thick on his hands.
“Sam!” he shouts, eyes straining to see movement, anything, amongst the surrounding trees. But it’s dark, and the woods are quiet; fuck, too quiet, unnaturally quiet, how did he miss that? “Sammy!”
Three dead in the diner, throats cut, but not Sam. Not Sam. Not dead, but gone – no body, not dead, no body – and he can’t think.
“Sam!”
```
Three states, 600 miles, and 10 hours gone, Sam wakes up in Cold Oak.
``````
Monday
``````
08:14 AM 04/30/07
Dean? Is everything alright?
08:35 AM 04/30/07
Not really, man. I’ll text you later, okay?
08:37 AM 04/30/07
Yes.
``````
Wednesday
``````
09:52 PM 05/02/07
What would you give up?
09:52 PM 05/02/07
Dean, what’s happening? Are you alright?
09:53 PM 05/02/07
If you could…if you had to choose, you know?
09:53 PM 05/02/07
What do you do? Is it even a choice?
09:54 PM 05/02/07
I don’t understand.
09:57 PM 05/02/07
It’s his goddamn birthday, Cas.
```
10:29 PM 05/02/07
Outgoing call
- “This is Sam, leave a message.” -
“Sam, it’s Castiel. We haven’t spoken in a few days and I’m concerned. Dean just messaged me, and… Well. As I said, I’m concerned. Please contact me as soon as possible.”
10:30 PM 05/02/07
Call ended
```
11:02 PM 05/02/07
Dean, please.
```
Dean shuts his eyes.
He’s floundering and he knows it, toe-to-toe with the red-eyed bitch and his thoughts are at once clamoring and blank in panic; a white-noise buzz of you had one job and let it burn and one year and, loudest of all, Sam, Sammy, not Sam.
Dean shuts his eyes, and does what he has to do.
``````
Saturday
``````
07:15 PM 05/12/07
Heya, Cas. How’s life?
```
07:15 PM 05/12/07
Incoming call
“Uh…hello? We’re calling, now?”
“Dean, what— It’s been two weeks! Where have you been?!”
“Wow, Cas. Hi to you too.”
“Dean, what happened?”
“A lot of shit happened! Did you seriously call just to yell at me?”
“I thought you were dead!”
“Yeah, well, I’m not! Chill out!”
“And Sam?”
“Sam’s fine, dude. Better than ever.”
“He hasn’t responded to my messages.”
“Uh… Yeah, he lost his phone. Remind me to text you the new number.”
“Thank god. I am… I’m very glad you’re okay.”
“Look, I know I should’ve— I don’t know. It’s been crazy.”
“Dean, these…incidences happen with alarming frequency. This uncertainty, not knowing… It's hard to bear.”
“Believe me, man, you don’t want to know.”
“Oh, I don’t, do I?”
“No, you don’t! I may spend my time wading through the world’s shit, but I don’t make a habit of dragging my friends in after me!”
“You are— You are a good man. Why do you live the way you do?”
“Christ, really?”
“You speak to me of fear, injury, loss and loneliness. You once detailed to me the process behind hot-wiring a vehicle! You have no home. Why, Dean?”
“Drop it, Cas! I said no!”
“…”
“…”
“Very well.”
“Fuck. This is…”
“I only wish to understand.”
“I know, okay? But it ain’t that simple.”
“You do not have to bear your burdens alone.”
“Cas…”
“Please, think on it.”
“…Yeah, I hear you. Okay.”
“…”
“…”
“Dean. It’s…nice, to hear your voice.”
“Ha! Well jeez, Cas, we’ve really gotta work on your ‘nice-to-meet-you’s. D’you always sound like you gargle gravel in the mornings, or is that just when you’re yellin’ at friends?”
“I…apologize. For the yelling.”
“Nah, don’t. I get it.”
“Well. Hello, Dean.”
“Yeah, heh, hi, Cas. But…uh, look, now’s not really the best time…”
“Of course. Give Sam my regards?”
“Ugh, fine, you dork. I’ll text you later, alright?”
“Until then.”
07:24 PM 05/12/07
Call ended
``````
Sunday
``````
01:32 PM 05/13/07
For the record, I think he should tell you.
01:35 PM 05/13/07
I hope that he will.
01:37 PM 05/13/07
Look, man…
01:37 PM 05/13/07
I can’t say much, ‘cause I know you don’t want to hear it from me. But…this isn’t just about you and us.
01:38 PM 05/13/07
This is some big and nasty life-changing stuff.
01:38 PM 05/13/07
And it’s going to sound crazy. Like, completely out-of-your-mind insane. But it’s all true, I swear.
01:40 PM 05/13/07
I think you can handle it, and I know you really care about Dean, so…
01:40 PM 05/13/07
Just hear him out, okay?
01:41 PM 05/13/07
I will, Sam.
01:41 PM 05/13/07
Thank you.
``````
Wednesday
``````
09:04 PM 05/16/07
Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do.
09:04 PM 05/16/07
I talk, you listen.
09:04 PM 05/16/07
I’ll tell you what you want to know.
09:05 PM 05/16/07
Dean, thank you.
09:06 PM 05/16/07
Don’t call me, I won’t pick up.
09:06 PM 05/16/07
I’m only gonna do this once. So, not dealing with you hanging up on me in the middle of it.
09:07 PM 05/16/07
I understand.
09:10 PM 05/16/07
Well.
09:10 PM 05/16/07
It was nice knowing you, Cas.
09:11 PM 05/16/07
You are a friend, Dean. Whatever you have to say won’t change that.
09:12 PM 05/16/07
Yeah, try that again in a few minutes.
09:12 PM 05/16/07
Just…listen, okay?
09:13 PM 05/16/07
Yes.
09:15 PM 05/16/07
Sam and I hunt monsters.
09:15 PM 05/16/07
Real monsters. The supernatural.
09:17 PM 05/16/07
What…?
09:18 PM 05/16/07
That day I first texted you, busted arm? Got thrown around by some ghosts killing people on a movie set in LA.
09:19 PM 05/16/07
Early April, we were handling a haunted prison in Arkansas. Then a Djinn got the drop on me in Joliet; that’s why Sammy called you.
09:21 PM 05/16/07
A couple weeks ago…we were following a lead on a possible vamp nest to Missouri when a demon took Sam. The same demon that killed our mom when I was four and killed our dad a year ago.
09:22 PM 05/16/07
A lot of stuff went down, then, but we finally ganked the son of a bitch. Our whole lives prepping for it…
09:22 PM 05/16/07
Jesus. Anyways.
09:24 PM 05/16/07
There’s a lot of things that hide in the dark, Cas. Nightmares are real, and it’s our job to kill them.
09:27 PM 05/16/07
So. There you have it. That’s it, the family fuckin’ business.
09:32 PM 05/16/07
I don’t know what to say.
09:32 PM 05/16/07
I know how it sounds.
09:34 PM 05/16/07
I don’t want to ask, but I must.
09:34 PM 05/16/07
Are you…mocking me? Making a joke because of my profession?
09:35 PM 05/16/07
No. No frickin’ way.
09:35 PM 05/16/07
This is me. Laying it out, plain as I can.
09:36 PM 05/16/07
You kill monsters.
09:38 PM 05/16/07
People like us, we know what’s out there. We’re just doing our best to save the people who don’t.
09:39 PM 05/16/07
People like you.
09:40 PM 05/16/07
There’s a few of us, yeah. Probably a couple dozen in the States. Can’t say for sure.
09:42 PM 05/16/07
Hunters work alone, mostly.
09:45 PM 05/16/07
Come on, man. Tell me what you’re thinking here.
09:47 PM 05/16/07
How can I believe this, Dean?
09:47 PM 05/16/07
Demons and ghosts? Vampires?
09:50 PM 05/16/07
Oh, gee, I don’t know. Maybe I thought that seeing as you make a living in myth and theology, you might not be so quick to chuck the thought that there could be a little more to it than what you read in your musty old books??
09:51 PM 05/16/07
My work is born of a professional interest in societal acceptance of the fantastical! It certainly doesn’t stem from a personal belief that such creatures and deities actually exist in the world!
09:52 PM 05/16/07
Well, hate to break it to you, buddy, but if the lore’s there, it’s probably the real fucking deal.
09:54 PM 05/16/07
Shit, I’m sorry.
09:55 PM 05/16/07
Didn’t mean to jump on your case over this. Like I said, I know how it sounds.
09:56 PM 05/16/07
No. Please, the fault is mine.
09:58 PM 05/16/07
I think…I need some time.
10:01 PM 05/16/07
Yeah, okay. I get it.
10:02 PM 05/16/07
No, Dean. It’s not a goodbye.
10:02 PM 05/16/07
I just need to think.
10:05 PM 05/16/07
Yeah, okay.
``````
Sunday
``````
The desk is a mess of vaguely-organized clutter. A stack of books next to a jumble of pens and a scrawled-upon notepad; a pair of dirty coffee mugs pushed somewhat to the side; a mostly-empty take-out box perched precariously at the desk’s edge. There are piles of papers, carefully labeled and annotated – print-outs and copies from more than a dozen news media sources.
Castiel, elbow braced atop a haphazardly-folded U.S. road map and head resting in hand, stares unseeing at the illuminated computer monitor before him. The screen displays a DOC Wanted profile. The time at the corner reads 2:27 AM.
Vampires in Missouri. A Djinn in Joliet. Spirits; a prison in Arkansas, a Los Angeles movie studio.
Castiel blinks his way back to awareness and reaches for the desk’s third mug, this one half full. He drinks the coffee long gone cold and grimaces at the sour taste. He takes another sip, regardless.
He sits, and thinks. And sits, and breathes. And breathes.
Eventually, he pushes back his chair – tries again with a frown and a little more oomph when one of the rolling wheels catches on an errant highlighter – and goes to make more coffee.
``````
Monday
``````
05:20 PM 05/21/07
The electrical storms, on the night of the 3rd.
05:39 PM 05/21/07
Yeah, that was us.
05:40 PM 05/21/07
How? They were freak storms, and there were occurrences across the country.
05:41 PM 05/21/07
It’s some really heavy stuff. You sure you want to know?
05:41 PM 05/21/07
Yes.
05:44 PM 05/21/07
The demon who killed our parents, we called him Yellow Eyes. Don’t know who he was, really, but he’s big fish. Like nothing we’ve ever seen before.
05:44 PM 05/21/07
He opened a devil’s gate, that night. In Wyoming.
05:45 PM 05/21/07
What does that mean, Dean?
05:46 PM 05/21/07
It means a gate to Hell, man. Left wide open long enough to let out at least a few hundred demons before we could slam it back shut.
05:46 PM 05/21/07
Those ‘storms’ were demon smoke.
05:48 PM 05/21/07
And demons, are they as Judeo-Christian scripture says? They take a human host; their sole purpose to sow the seeds of discontent and chaos?
05:49 PM 05/21/07
Yeah, Cas, that’s pretty much the gist of it.
05:50 PM 05/21/07
The missing persons, after the storms.
05:50 PM 05/21/07
Yeah.
05:53 PM 05/21/07
They possess some poor bastard, do their best to raise a little hell. And you can’t kill them, not in any usual way; the only thing a bullet to the heart will do is piss off the demon and snuff the person they’re riding. If you’re lucky you can trap it and exorcise it…
05:53 PM 05/21/07
But they’re tricky, man. Dangerous as hell.
05:54 PM 05/21/07
Demons aren’t like… I dunno, rawheads or wraiths. Creatures are easy. Predictable. But demons, they’re smart.
05:56 PM 05/21/07
And, hell, until two years ago I’d never even run into one before! Now we’ve got a freaking army on our hands and no idea what they’re up to. If there’s some master plan, here, they’re keeping a pretty tight lid on it.
05:58 PM 05/21/07
‘For they are spirits of demons, performing signs, who go abroad to the kings of the earth to assemble them for battle on the great day of God the Almighty.’
05:58 PM 05/21/07
Revelations.
05:59 PM 05/21/07
Fuck.
06:00 PM 05/21/07
Indeed.
06:02 PM 05/21/07
Alright. Fucking peachy. We’ll…look into that.
06:04 PM 05/21/07
But, look, let’s not get started in on any ‘the end is nigh’ bullshit. At this point we’ve got no clue, and here’s hoping that putting down Yellow Eyes threw a major wrench in the works.
06:05 PM 05/21/07
It won’t stay quiet for long, though. I ain’t that lucky.
06:08 PM 05/21/07
So… You still thinking of losing my number?
06:10 PM 05/21/07
The women, in St. Louis.
```
06:10 PM 05/21/07
Incoming call
“Dean.”
“You gotta hear me, man. That was not me, alright?”
“The physical evidence alone—”
“No, Cas, it was a fucking shapeshifter! And, Jesus, I know, okay? I know it sounds crazy, but I did not kill those people.”
“A shapeshifter.”
“Damn right. Fucker stole my face after we rolled into town, hunting it.”
“The…unidentified biological matter found at the last crime scene.”
“Yes! Silver will kill them, but then they…melt, or something. I don’t know, it’s friggin’ disgusting.”
“Dean…”
“Wait, just…wait. You did some digging, right? I get it, no way you’d buy what I’m selling if you didn’t. So how ‘bout this. We ran into another shapeshifter case in Milwaukee, back in…uh, January, I think. Look into it, okay? The news reports that clued us in on it reeked of shifter.”
“Milwaukee. You refer to you and your brother’s attempted armed robbery.”
“Oh…fuck. I…kinda forgot that bit. You really did your homework, huh?”
“Yes, I did. Explain.”
“It was a shifter, Cas! It was robbing all kinds of places, working inside jobs as look-a-likes and killin’ the genuine article! We got caught up in that shit show at the bank trying to gank the bastard!”
“The witness accounts were…conflicting.”
“No kidding. We were there to help, not rob the damn place!”
“…The Winchester brothers. Dean, you’re wanted by the FBI!”
“Dude, I’m rockin’ that Blue Steel, right?”
“This, all of this, is…unimaginable.”
“Yeah… Yeah, I know. But, I just— I got tired of lying to you, man.”
“My god, demons.”
“…”
“…”
“You, uh, you believin’ us, Cas?”
“I believe…you would not lie to me. Not on this. And I believe what I see. I can follow the patterns that seem to guide you well enough, and…those storms… It’s beyond reasoning.”
“Yeah, that’s… That’s big, even for us. We’re working on it.”
“Dean. Whatever you would allow, I would like to know. Everything.”
“Everything is…it’s kinda a lot.”
“We have time.”
```
Dean slides back into the room, still reeling from his talk with Cas. What had initially been a panic-fueled impulse call had quickly turned to an hour-and-a-half rundown on supernatural spooks and shockingly non-judgmental conversation on Dean’s experiences as a hunter.
He thinks again, inevitably, of Cassie – the only other person besides Cas he’s ever told, really told, about the real Dean Winchester. At the time, he’d thought out a dozen justifications for telling her the truth (he was in love, for her safety, her job as a reporter; he could show her the evidence of his hunts and she would understand, she had to understand) and he’d had so much hope. False hope, as it happened, and he’d thought he’d learned his lesson. Even if it had turned out alright in the end.
But with Cas…
Well, Dean had meant it when he said he was tired of lying.
Sure, Dean can put on a fake name and a fake smile and spin a story with the best of them, but that’s just a means to an end; he’s not used to hiding from the people who matter. And fuck knows when or why or how but somewhere along the way Cas became someone who does matter; a voice in his ear and words on a screen that have somehow become the best part of his day. Cas is someone he can talk to (a friend, Cas said friend) and he’s something good, something normal that Dean’s never really had before and holy shit, Cas believes him.
Dean is suddenly pulled from his thoughts when Sam, lounging in bed, grabs the remote and mutes the television; the low babble of the evening news easily ignored except in its absence.
Sam clears his throat and looks at Dean expectantly. “So…you talked to him?”
Dean pulls a face. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What do you mean what does it mean? What’d Cas say?”
“No, seriously, what’s with the face?”
Sam’s features twist and twitch comically as he tries – and fails – to wipe the knowing smirk from his expression. “What, me? You’re the one who’s all…” Sam flaps a hand in Dean’s direction, “smiley.”
“What?” he splutters, face heating. “No I’m not!” and Dean ignores Sam’s look number yeah, sure to stalk towards the bathroom, phone still in hand.
“So it went well, right?” Sam calls at Dean’s back, and receives the thump of a closed door in response. “Do you wanna talk about it?” Pause. “Tell Cas I say hi!”
“Fuck off, Samantha!”
``````
Tuesday
``````
12:15 PM 05/22/07
I couldn’t help but notice.
12:17 PM 05/22/07
Notice what?
12:18 PM 05/22/07
Your brother is much more reminiscent in appearance to Patrick Swayze than you, Dean.
12:18 PM 05/22/07
Hey!!
``````
Monday
``````
03:07 PM 05/28/07
Jesus, I’m so fucking bored.
03:09 PM 05/28/07
In your unique case, I’m not sorry to say that I consider a break in jobs to be a blessing.
03:10 PM 05/28/07
It’s been weeks!
03:13 PM 05/28/07
Sam’s out all day falling down the Alice in Demonland rabbit hole to nowhere, Bobby’s a goddamn enabler who keeps pushing case leads to other hunters, and here I am stuck in this pit of a motel with jack-shit to do! I’m going freaking crazy!
03:16 PM 05/28/07
Oh, dude, Star Trek: DS9 marathon on Spike.
03:18 PM 05/28/07
It’s the middle of a weekday afternoon, Dean.
03:20 PM 05/28/07
Psh. You’re just editing today, right? Come on, Cas, play hooky with me!
03:21 PM 05/28/07
It’s…not that I wouldn’t…
03:21 PM 05/28/07
But…?
03:23 PM 05/28/07
I may or may not be currently indulging in The Animal Planet’s marathon showing of Meerkat Manor.
03:23 PM 05/28/07
Oo, you rebel!
03:24 PM 05/28/07
But, come on, you can do better than Meerkat Manor!
```
07:30 PM 05/28/07
Okay, no, what, seriously?! These Commandoes up and attack the Lazuli burrow and the Whiskers are just gonna let it fly? Flower needs to shut that shit down!!
07:31 PM 05/28/07
My thoughts exactly, Dean.
``````
Tuesday
``````
04:54 PM 05/29/07
You haven’t told Cas about the deal, have you.
04:55 PM 05/29/07
Whoa, what the FUCK, did you say something?!
04:55 PM 05/29/07
No, relax! I haven’t said anything, I just know you!
04:56 PM 05/29/07
I was giving you guys some time, seeing as Cas just found out about the hunting. But don’t you think it’s time you told him?
04:56 PM 05/29/07
No, I sure as hell don’t. And you won’t either, you hear me?
04:57 PM 05/29/07
He could help, Dean!
04:57 PM 05/29/07
He has access to resources we don’t. He may know where to start looking on how to break this!
04:57 PM 05/29/07
Shut up, Sam.
04:58 PM 05/29/07
He’s literally an expert!
04:58 PM 05/29/07
Seriously, shut the fuck up. We’re not talking about this.
05:00 PM 05/29/07
Look, I know you don’t want to upset the guy, but we’ve got to explore all our options!
05:01 PM 05/29/07
You tell him, you’re a fucking dead man.
05:03 PM 05/29/07
That’d just be the icing on the great big fucked-up cake, wouldn’t it?
05:04 PM 05/29/07
“Monsters are real, the world’s a goddamned scary place, and oh yeah, I’m a dead man walking. Nice knowing you, pal.”
05:05 PM 05/29/07
You’re not gonna die. We’re gonna figure it out, okay?
05:07 PM 05/29/07
Just get your ass back here. You’ve obviously been holed up in that library too damn long.
05:08 PM 05/29/07
God, I can’t believe you!
05:08 PM 05/29/07
This is your LIFE we’re talking about!
05:09 PM 05/29/07
Bring burgers, bitch.
``````
Wednesday
``````
07:41 PM 05/30/07
And, I shit you not, this chick, cool as a cucumber, says, “I’ve got a bit and harness at mine, stud. You gonna let momma take you for a…ride??”
07:41 PM 05/30/07
!!!!!!!
07:42 PM 05/30/07
Ah. I assume that did not evoke the positive response she was hoping for.
07:43 PM 05/30/07
You are not freakin’ wrong. I’m all up for trying new things, but there are LINES.
07:44 PM 05/30/07
How unexpectedly reasonable of you.
07:44 PM 05/30/07
Hey, fuck off!
07:46 PM 05/30/07
Actually…
07:46 PM 05/30/07
Question.
07:46 PM 05/30/07
Yes?
07:47 PM 05/30/07
You listen to me talk about this stuff, but you never have much to say about you.
07:48 PM 05/30/07
You got a girl?
07:48 PM 05/30/07
Or, you know, a guy.
07:48 PM 05/30/07
I don’t judge.
07:50 PM 05/30/07
Don’t strain yourself.
07:51 PM 05/30/07
Don’t be a dick, I’m being serious!
07:51 PM 05/30/07
I know.
07:52 PM 05/30/07
The answer is no, on both counts. I am currently single.
07:54 PM 05/30/07
My social life is…
07:54 PM 05/30/07
Perhaps ‘dead’ is the not inaccurate term to apply.
07:55 PM 05/30/07
What, not even a little weekend nookie? Come on, man, I’ve seen your pics. You should have no problems scoring with the ladies!
07:56 PM 05/30/07
I do not often feel the need to seek out such…companionship.
07:57 PM 05/30/07
What’s the matter, don’t know where to put it?
07:57 PM 05/30/07
I ‘know where to put it,’ Dean.
08:01 PM 05/30/07
I was married, once.
08:02 PM 05/30/07
Uh…wow. Really?
08:02 PM 05/30/07
It’s true.
08:04 PM 05/30/07
We divorced, two years ago.
08:05 PM 05/30/07
Wow.
08:08 PM 05/30/07
So. Feel free to tell me to fuck off, but. There’s gotta be a story there?
08:09 PM 05/30/07
You have revealed much of yourself. I don’t mind doing the same.
08:10 PM 05/30/07
We married young, following a relatively short courtship.
08:10 PM 05/30/07
Nobody says ‘courtship,’ dude.
08:11 PM 05/30/07
Hush, Dean.
08:13 PM 05/30/07
We were happy, for a time. But we wanted children, and in trying it came to light that I am…biologically unable. Sterile.
08:14 PM 05/30/07
Christ, that really blows. I’m sorry, Cas.
08:15 PM 05/30/07
It was very difficult for the both of us.
08:17 PM 05/30/07
Amelia especially was devastated. We had alternative options, of course, but Amelia is very much a traditionalist.
08:18 PM 05/30/07
Aw, hell. This is one of those apple pie Bible Belt conservative values things, isn’t it?
08:19 PM 05/30/07
In a way.
08:22 PM 05/30/07
She struggled with the reality of being unable to conceive by conventional means. She also disagreed with my academic and professional choices. She found my interest in non-Christian religions…unsavory.
08:23 PM 05/30/07
Unfortunately, it proved to be too great a strain on our relationship. She eventually left me for another.
08:24 PM 05/30/07
Hold the fucking phone.
08:24 PM 05/30/07
The bitch CHEATED on you?
08:25 PM 05/30/07
Dean, please. Amelia was a dear friend.
08:27 PM 05/30/07
She was your damn WIFE, Cas! If she couldn’t get over herself then she should’ve balls’d up and broke it off BEFORE she decided to shack up with the mailman!
08:28 PM 05/30/07
Our neighbor, actually. We knew Roger quite well.
08:29 PM 05/30/07
Jesus, you actually knew the guy? What the hell, that’s such a dick move!
08:29 PM 05/30/07
Tell me where this douche lives so I can go break his face.
08:30 PM 05/30/07
That would be unnecessary.
08:31 PM 05/30/07
And…redundant.
08:31 PM 05/30/07
Holy shit. You clocked him one?!
08:33 PM 05/30/07
The day I discovered the true nature of their relationship… I lost myself to anger. It was shameful of me to act in such a way.
08:34 PM 05/30/07
Fuck that noise, he totally deserved it.
08:35 PM 05/30/07
It’s an old hurt. Truly, I’m only happy they’re happy.
08:37 PM 05/30/07
Although.
08:37 PM 05/30/07
The offer is…appreciated.
08:38 PM 05/30/07
Any time, buddy.
``````
Saturday
``````
“What do you mean you don’t think it’ll work, Bobby? It’s a demon dispelling ritua—”
Sam startles at the sudden rap rap rap on the café window and turns to see Dean, smiling as he holds up some newsprint. Sam distractedly waves him in, lowering his voice to say, “Well, maybe we got the translation wrong.” He glances at the building entrance as Dean comes through, hunching into himself even more to rush out, “Look, we can’t just let Dean fry in hell while we—” only to be cut off by Bobby’s we ain’t lettin’ nothin’, boy, I’m just tellin’ you and Sam interjects, “There’s got to be something—” but no, damn it, his brother’s headed straight for the table. “Uh, okay, yeah, no. Ah, no, I gotta go—” Dean pulls out the chair opposite Sam. “Okayyeahnevermind.”
Sam disconnects the call.
“Hey,” Dean greets. “Who was that?”
“Ah, yeah,” Sam says, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He offers a quick half-shrug in the face of Dean’s increasingly wary expression. “I was just…ordering a pizza.”
Shitty lie aside, Dean’s thoroughly confused look around the breakfast café and subsequent distrust of their food is frickin’ hilarious.
```
09:21 AM 06/02/07
Hey, Cas.
09:24 AM 06/02/07
Hello, Sam. How are you?
09:26 AM 06/02/07
Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? We haven’t really talked since…you know, before.
09:29 AM 06/02/07
I am…adjusting. If nothing else, I am glad to know the truth of the matter.
09:29 AM 06/02/07
However, I must admit; knowing has done remarkably little to assuage my worry for you both.
09:30 AM 06/02/07
Yeah… Sorry about that. It’s not exactly low-hazard, what we do.
09:32 AM 06/02/07
Please don’t apologize. From what I understand, your work is dangerous and thankless, yes, but you do so much good in the world. The both of you.
09:33 AM 06/02/07
To be frank, I’m no less than honored to be trusted with your secrets and gifted your friendship.
09:35 AM 06/02/07
Wow. Well…let me tell you, I’m really, REALLY glad you feel that way. I don’t know what Dean would’ve done if you…you know, hadn’t believed us or decided to drop us for “normal” or something.
09:35 AM 06/02/07
Not that we’d blame you, man.
09:36 AM 06/02/07
I don’t regret or resent our association, not for a moment. Remove such thoughts.
09:38 AM 06/02/07
That’s pretty awesome, Cas. Thank you, really.
09:39 AM 06/02/07
And, seriously, sorry for the radio silence recently. I’ve been really busy with this case I’m working on.
09:41 AM 06/02/07
The unusual death in Cicero?
09:43 AM 06/02/07
Hah! Dean told you about that? I’m not sure it’s our kind of thing, but what the hell, we’ll go check it out.
09:45 AM 06/02/07
And no…it’s not that. This is kind of something I’m looking into on my own. But…I was maybe hoping you could help me out with a couple things…
```
05:54 PM 06/02/07
Jesus, what if he’s really mine?
05:54 PM 06/02/07
You know my life, I can’t be a dad!
05:55 PM 06/02/07
Forgive my forwardness, but…
05:55 PM 06/02/07
Do you want him to be yours?
05:56 PM 06/02/07
What? No! No way!
05:57 PM 06/02/07
Dean.
05:58 PM 06/02/07
Shit…
05:58 PM 06/02/07
I don’t know.
06:00 PM 06/02/07
You should see him, Cas. He’s such an awesome kid. A little badass in the making.
06:00 PM 06/02/07
He’s just…he’s amazing, man.
06:02 PM 06/02/07
And the timing matches up and I swear, he looks JUST like me. No way that’s a coincidence, right?
06:03 PM 06/02/07
I don’t know, Dean.
06:04 PM 06/02/07
What am I even doing? This is fucking insane.
06:04 PM 06/02/07
Even if he was my kid, what could I do about it?
06:06 PM 06/02/07
Lisa obviously wants nothing to do with me, and Ben’s eight frickin’ years old! If he’s really mine…then I’m the asshole who’s been out of the picture his whole life! The kid doesn’t know me from Jack!
06:07 PM 06/02/07
If he’s yours, I do know that you are in no way to blame for being unaware of his existence to this point.
06:07 PM 06/02/07
That was Lisa’s choice, not yours.
06:08 PM 06/02/07
Shit, Cas, I’ve always…
06:08 PM 06/02/07
It’s one of those things I never thought I’d have, you know? Our life, the hunter life…
06:10 PM 06/02/07
You don’t get to think about this kind of stuff. Kids, family, home. It’s a goddamn pipe dream.
06:11 PM 06/02/07
It doesn’t have to be.
06:11 PM 06/02/07
You deserve every happiness.
06:13 PM 06/02/07
Yeah, well. That’s nice and all, but that’s really not how it goes.
06:13 PM 06/02/07
It’s just… It’s too late for me.
06:14 PM 06/02/07
It’s never too late.
``````
Sunday (and Monday)
``````
10:08 AM 06/03/07
So.
10:08 AM 06/03/07
Ben’s not mine.
10:10 AM 06/03/07
Was worried there for a bit, but, yeah. Totally off the hook.
10:10 AM 06/03/07
That’s one complication I can definitely live without!
10:11 AM 06/03/07
Thank god, right?
10:16 AM 06/03/07
Oh, Dean.
10:16 AM 06/03/07
I’m so sorry.
```
12:32 AM 06/04/07
Fuck.
12:33 AM 06/04/07
Me too, Cas.