Chapter Text
“Hey, you dirty Blue!” Sarge’s gruff voice barked from outside the nearly-deserted Blue Base. “Ready or not, I’m storming your base!”
Sure enough, the stomping of armor-plated boots grew nearer to where Caboose sat, helmet off, surrounded by dozens of half-assembled mechanical parts. He barely glanced up as Sarge approached, the barrel of his shotgun pointing at Caboose menacingly.
“What kind of shenanigans are you getting up to here, Blue?” Sarge demanded. “I can’t abide shenanigans, especially from the enemy. So start talking or I’ll start blasting!”
“Oh, hello Sergeant,” Caboose said after a pause, as though his brain had just caught up to the fact that Sarge was present. “Um, are you here to shoot me? Because I would not like to get shot today.”
Sarge half-lowered his shotgun. “Fortunately for you, Blue, I’m here for reconnaissance and interrogation. You haven’t shown your Blue face in days, and I’m getting antsy without someone to shoot at!” He patted his shotgun for emphasis.
“Yeeaah, I’m sorry I can’t come over and play. But I’m… doing things… that don’t involve robot parts at all.” He looked almost pleased, like he’d come up with a clever lie.
Sarge narrowed his eyes behind his helmet. “When’s the last time you even left this room?”
Caboose looked puzzled. “Well, you know, I’m not so good at keeping track of time, so… uh, I can’t really…”
“That’s what I thought.” Sarge humphed irritably, holstering his shotgun. “Come on, son. Let’s go get some fresh air.”
“But- but I can’t-” Caboose protested as Sarge hauled the taller soldier to his feet.
“Sure you can. You’re a Blue! Goofing off and derelictin’ your duties is exactly what Blues do!”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s our real job. Church always said I’m not allowed to talk to Command, but he usually tells me what they say, and-and I think I’d remember being told to do something like that.”
“And yet, you Blues manage to do it anyway,” Sarge grumbled. “With your stupid colors and talkin’ tanks…”
“Uh, I don’t remember what we were talking about, so I’m just going to…” Caboose moved to sit back down, but Sarge caught his arm.
“Listen up, you little so-and-so,” Sarge barked. There’s nothing so important that you can’t take a break now and again. Trust me, I know all about single-minded obsessions,” he chuckled to himself, “you dirty Blue. But sacrificing your health won’t get you anywhere in the long run. In the short run either, if Grif is anything to go by.” He steered Caboose out of the room, climbing the shallow steps to the living area.
“Oh, sweet Mother Hubbard,” Sarge breathed as he took in the state of the Blue kitchen.
“Yeeeaaaaah,” Caboose said slowly. “I tried to make pancakes, but that was too hard, so I tried to make cereal, and then… a lot of things ended up on fire, so I asked it to stop burning but it wasn’t listening to me. And then there was a lot of water, which was weird because I don’t remember there being a shower in the kitchen?”
“All right, I’ve heard enough,” Sarge muttered. He righted one of the chairs and took a seat at the table, slouching onto his elbows. He stared at Caboose through his helmet contemplatively. “Kinda forgot it was you who was here by yourself.”
“Yeah, I-I forget that sometimes too.” A pause. “It’s very lonely.”
Silence fell. Caboose continued standing in the middle of the room, watching Sarge blankly. He didn’t look impatient; it was more like his brain had paused itself until Sarge said something else.
Sarge stood back up with a grunt and a crack of joints. “All right, Caboose. Come with me over to Red Base and we’ll get you some lunch. I’ll send Simmons over here to clean up this kitchen; it’s more of a war zone than the actual war zone outside. And I’ll make sure someone comes over to help you cook from now on.”
Caboose looked vaguely perplexed. “I’m… confused.”
“You’re always confused, son,” Sarge grunted. “See, you’re the only Blue in this canyon. Without you, we’ve got nobody to fight! The Red Team has no purpose! So it’s our solemn duty to make sure you’re fit and fighting ready at all times. So we can kill you fair and square in open battle!” He pumped his shotgun for emphasis.
“Oh. That makes sense.” Nodding in understanding, Caboose trailed after Sarge towards Red Base.