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    Summary

    Elphaba doesn’t believe in ghosts.

    She wants that on record, preferably carved into stone, or at the very least immortalized in a well-reasoned essay, except no one’s ever going to read it because she’s not writing one.

    Because ghosts aren’t real.

    That said.

    That said.

    She is currently pacing her apartment, burning sage, because she has, in a moment of weakness, googled “signs your apartment is haunted” and, upon reviewing the evidence, has decided that -- purely for the sake of argument -- she should cover all her bases. Just in case.

    (or: the just like heaven au)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    49,733
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    307
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    681
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    21 Jun 2026