1 - 20 of 25 Works by saturnreturn
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Rio of the Vidal House is said to rule Westvista with an iron fist. The consensus from many is that she’s unmerciful, stoic, and cruel. Rumor is she has quite the large pile of bodies. Disgraced noblewoman Evanora Harkness will do anything to get back into the aristocratic crowd, so she has no issue sending her daughter Agatha into the lion’s den to act as Rio’s newest lady’s maid… as well as her eyes and ears.
But Agatha has other plans.
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Rio quickly fished around for their wallet, pulled out a bill, and forced their legs to push their body up and stick one leg in front of the other until they were at the bit of the stage where people were meant to tip before they talked themself out of it. The woman’s eyes were strikingly blue. And Rio had been paying so much attention to the color it wasn’t until the bill slipped into the woman’s fingers and her expertly-shaped brows minutely raised in surprise that Rio saw Benjamin Franklin’s face on the bill.
Okay, fuck. What was Rio going to do, take it back? They felt their face heat up as they dragged their feet back to their chair. It was a miracle they didn’t faint right there on the sticky bar floor.
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OR, the AU where Agatha is a drag queen and Rio falls for her instantly.
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It’s 1993, and state agent Rio Vidal is put on the case of a fire that resulted in the deaths of three high-ranking members of a small town religious group called the Salem Seven. The only survivor, 21-year-old Agatha Harkness, is stubborn, uncooperative, and her only source of joy seems to be making Rio’s job that much harder. In a moment of sympathy, and maybe even pity, Rio warms up to her anyway. But this seemingly open-and-shut case turns eerie the deeper Rio digs, and the longer Rio stays in the town of Venner, Oklahoma, the more she feels like she isn’t going to like what she finds.
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“Hmmm.” Agatha tossed her phone onto the couch beside her. “I kind of like the idea of being a mystery to them. The woman that can make their scary boss roll over and ask for tummy scratches.”
“I wouldn’t say it’s that drastic,” Rio protested, closing the door with the heel of her shoe.
“Oh?” Agatha tilted her head cockily. She grinned at Rio like an orca would grin at an injured seal. “And if I asked you to roll over?”
Rio blushed. “You don’t really mean that.”
“Try me.”
_____Neck-deep in her thesis year, Agatha hasn’t seen her girlfriend of four months in an excruciatingly long time: an entire week. This calls for a work visit. AKA, the discord kitten au sequel.
Series
- Part 2 of agathario discord kitten au
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where art thou, why not uponeth me? by saturnreturn for midwestprincess_01
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
03 Feb 2026
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Dr. Vidal takes the wand and slowly slips it inside of her. It goes in seamlessly. Agatha’s neck feels tense, and she tries to lean her head back to loosen things up.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dr. Vidal looks up at Agatha with big baby brown eyes. “If you’re anxious, we can stop, or I can give you a pheromone patch—”
“I’m perfectly fine,” Agatha snaps, and then she blurts out, “I’m not nervous!”
Dr. Vidal just blinks at her owlishly, and Agatha presses her lips together. Fuck. What if the doctor connects the dots? Agatha isn’t nervous, just embarrassed. It isn’t her fault she encompasses a physical body and, by objective accounts, Dr. Vidal is attractive.
And smells good.
Whatever.
“Okay,” Dr. Vidal says softly. “My apologies.”
_____OR, Agatha finds herself in a predicament: she's pregnant, single, and in her forties, and the only gynecologist that is qualified to help her is alpha Dr. Rio Vidal.
Written for Agatha All Along Week, day 7: breeding ;-)
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you and i can stay awake and keep on dreaming by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
15 Jan 2026
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Rio’s dark eyes instantly slid over to Billy. She cocked her head ominously. “Do you know what a heart outside of its own ribcage looks like?”
Billy felt his forehead, which had suddenly warmed. He squeaked out, “Uh… no?”
Rio wore a completely straight face when she asked, “Would you like to find out?”
-- AKA, Agatha and Billy run into Rio after the events of the show.
For AgathaRio Canon Week, Day 6, "After the Road".
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does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike? by saturnreturn for AnonFandomBandit
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
11 Jan 2026
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She’d spent her nights having to fraternize and pretend like she didn’t know at least half the people here thought her stupider and less of a person for having a vagina, and Agatha found it to be more frustrating than worthwhile at times. At least with a glass of wine running through her veins she’d been able to smile as she bit back.
A man so old Agatha is surprised he can still cognitively form words asking her if she’d like him to buy her a drink? “No, thank you, I’m sure you need the money more than I do.”
Some hotshot 20-something young about to be her son tells her she looks stunning in her maroon suit? “Have you called your mother yet? It’s getting late.”
Sometimes, very rarely, the men are somewhat nice about it. Complimenting her eyes or some stupid shit like that. Agatha would flash the lesbian pin on her conference lanyard. “Sorry, very happily taken.”
She tried not to think too hard about the fact that when she gave that answer, a honey-soft brown stare flashed in the back of her mind’s eye.
_____
AKA, Agatha’s time in California. Takes place in AnonFandomBandit’s “my safeword is safeword”.
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you have no room in your dreams for regrets by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
12 Dec 2025
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“I deserve to see him,” Rio told her. She stood on the small, dirt porch of the cottage. Agatha was close, leaning against the frame of the front door. It was the closest the two had been physically since Agatha had been pregnant. “I have never even felt the soft skin of his hand. I have never seen his smile up close.”
“What if the instant you brush his fingers, he collapses because of your magic?” Agatha crossed her arms protectively. “As his mother, I have to think of his safety.”
Rio’s dam of a throat broke as her next words were choked. “And what am I?”
__ __ __ __ __
Five instances of Rio seeing and thinking of Nicky, plus one bonus.
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you make a fool of death with your beauty by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
27 Oct 2025
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“You got some folks to swindle?”
“Is it really swindling if they strike first?” Agatha asks sweetly.
“Yes.”
Agatha’s face drops into a glare. “Well, it isn’t any of your business, anyhow.”
“If your swindling ends up how it usually does, it’s going to be.”
Agatha can hear her own teeth grinding. “Rio, dear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were obsessed with me. I can’t participate in my own hobbies without you following me around like a sad little duckling.”
— — — — —
It’s 1912. Agatha Harkness is on the RMS Titanic, trying to pull off a stunt that will give her some magic juice to coast through the next couple of years— too bad her horrible ex-wife shows up to tell her there’s bigger fish to fry.
For AGATHARIO KINKTOBER Day 4: Orgasm Control/Denial. But there is much, MUCH more, so please read the tags.
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“Did this girl tell you anything else?”
Rio hummed. “She said it hopped around a lot.”
Oh! Agatha laughed. “A frog?”
Rio’s brow furrowed. “A what?”
Another self-indulgent chuckle escaped Agatha's shameless mouth before she could stop herself. “Rio, you are quite literally as old as the Earth itself, and you’ve never heard of a frog?”
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Agatha has been teaching Rio about the intricacies of humanity when there’s a mix-up on what is mythical and what isn’t. Because of this, Rio gets a special surprise. -
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When Agatha gets a private message from someone in a Dungeons and Dragons server claiming to be a lesbian, she plays into the game, stringing along what she assumes to be some awkward incel and getting them way too seriously into the Discord daddy/kitten dynamic.
Agatha is very, very incorrect about who is on the other end of her screen. The problem she inevitably faces is how deep the teeth marks are going to be when this bites her in the ass.
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OR, yes, the agathario discord kitten au.Series
- Part 1 of agathario discord kitten au
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That’s when a figure stands up and then speaks in an all too familiar tone. “Oh, shit. This isn’t my cottage.”
Agatha feels her jaw slacken when she realizes she’s staring at herself. Well, almost herself. This self looks a little more weathered, be it the metaphorical weight on her shoulders or the actual streak of grey highlighted in the front of her hair.
“What in the hell,” Agatha says.
_____OR, the döppelganger Agatha smutfic.
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break me, shake me, devastate me by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
05 Jun 2025
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Rio, owner of Westview’s local floral shop “Wisterical,” finds herself with an early Christmas present when her hag of a landlord, Evanora Harkness, keels over. With the biggest pain in her side gone, she’s expecting a relatively stress-free life from here on out.
That is, until the daughter.
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“Do you want this or not?” Rio grunts. “If you’re going to keep being difficult, I’ll get mean.”
Agatha’s eyes light up. “Promise?”
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OR, butch4butch sequel during pride weekend. for day one of agatha all along week: jealousy.
Series
- Part 2 of butch4butch agathario au
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i don’t care that you’re a stoner (fall right into me) by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
25 Apr 2025
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“Agatha.” Rio grasps Agatha’s shoulder. Agatha spins around, motioning with grabby hands for the merch Rio had bought her. “Agatha, I literally ran into Chappell Roan in the bathroom.”
Agatha laughs so hard while putting her CD in her knapsack she does her signature snort. Rio’s heart flutters at that. “Be serious. We’re both high. You didn’t see shit.”
“I’m serious!”
_____OR, Two best friends share a joint and go to a concert together. Could something homoerotic happen? (Yes, yes it could. And it does.)
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Rio’s face was already warm and sweaty from working in the early spring sun, but now her face is heated for another reason. She tries to turn away, pretend like she never saw anything, but before her mind can battle against her body and rip her eyes from this fucking bombshell, blue eyes glance her way and catch her in the act.
“Hey!” It’s at this that Rio notices that not only is this woman prancing around in her underwear near open windows, but the window is a little cracked, making Rio able to hear this woman crystal clearly. “What do you think you’re—”
Rio’s mouth opens to say something, anything— working really hard to not look like a fish out of water— but her wheelbarrow hits a stray rock in Lilia’s yard and she falls headfirst into the pile of literal dirt.
— — — — —
OR, Rio is only trying to do a favor for her godmother; the last thing she needs is one of her godmother’s eccentric neighbors parading around in her underwear. Especially when said neighbor is extremely hot.
based on the comic by evgar_ on twitter!
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24-year-old Agatha Harkness has the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair when it comes to doing her mother’s bidding. She’s relatively okay with this until Evanora has her scope out the political competition.
OR, Agatha hooks up with Rio Vidal, the woman running against her mother for her incumbent state legislative seat. So what. It’s not like it’ll get serious.
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A list of things Rio expects to do tonight: have a couple drinks at the local gay bar, bring a cute dyke home, fuck her into the mattress.
The person Rio doesn’t expect to do it with: their high school bully.
OR, butch4butch agathario au
Series
- Part 1 of butch4butch agathario au
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a love that's so demanding, i can't speak by saturnreturn
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
07 Jan 2025
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When the tip of the knife leaves the edge of Rio’s palm, Agatha takes her finger and runs it against the wound. “How does it feel?” she asks.
“Tingly,” Rio whispers. “High-pitched. Mesmerizing. May I kiss you?”
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OR, Agatha starts to experiment with what Rio’s physical limits may consist of. (The answer: there really aren’t any.)
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heaven’s here, it’s right where you’re standing by saturnreturn for 324b2fun
Fandoms: Agatha All Along (TV)
16 Dec 2024
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"But it seemed unfair for both of their hard work to be confined to a single holiday when millions of heterosexual parents everywhere got two days. Which seems preposterous to Agatha when, really, she and Rio worked much harder and longer to get Nicky here than many heterosexual parents did. Two days was the least they deserved."
AKA, when Rio gives Agatha a Mother’s Day she could’ve only dreamt of, Agatha decides to give back. Based in the same world as 324b2fun’s “celebrations (and similarities)”!