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    Galina stopped writing to look at Ilya. "Do you think he'd be willing to talk to you next time it happens, even if it's late?"

    Ilya's stomach turned over. He didn't even want to consider it, but he knew the answer. "Yes. But he silences his phone at night."

    "Most phones these days have an option to let certain numbers ring through, even on Do Not Disturb. Do you think he'd be open to setting that up for you?"

    Imagining that conversation made Ilya nauseous. Yes, no fucking doubt, Shane would be open to it if Ilya explained the reason. "I'm not going to ask him to do that."

    Set during The Long Game, an alternate version where the plane scene doesn't happen. Instead, there's this: a car crash, a therapist's duty to report, and an urgent reckoning with priorities.

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    16 Jun 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    "Can you speak, Ilya Rozanov?"
    "Yes, ma'am." Ilya responds obediently. "I am happy to meet you."
    "You are scared shitless, Ilya Rozanov." She says.
    "That, too." He nods. "I want you to like me very badly."
    "I don't like anyone." She says, but Shane watches in morbid fascination as a grin reveals her gold teeth. "I am a terrible old bitch."

    Ilya Rozanov meets his husband's great grandmother and certain understandings are reached.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    Bood only laughs and lets the video loop over from the start, reaching out to clap a hand down onto Ilya’s shoulder. “You’ll understand one of these days, kid.”

    Ilya's beer tastes sour on his tongue.

    I already understand, Ilya thinks desperately. I have a daughter and she is the best thing to happen to me except for the man that I made her with and I am full of so much love that I could burst.

    And he can say none of it out loud.

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    15 Jun 2026

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    “No, malyshka. Not sad.” Ilya turns and kisses her palm. “I am happy.” 

    Ilya stills after the words leave his mouth, skin prickling with warmth. He means it, he realizes. 

    He’s spent so much of the last decade convincing himself that he was not sad. But being happy, being happy like this—effortlessly, accidentally, on purpose—is different. Ilya can’t remember the last time he’d thought it and meant it. I am happy.  

    “Ilya?” Shane asks softly. 

    “I’m okay. I—” Ilya sniffs, wipes at his cheeks. It’s all useless when he looks down at Emi again, when he sees himself staring back. His lip trembles. “My mama would have loved her.” 

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    15 Jun 2026

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    JJ didn't think the others saw it. Hayden, maybe, but Jackie was the only WAGs's name Shane had committed to memory so Hayden never brought it up. JJ didn't have a wife or girlfriend. He had his hookups and the names of the best restaurants in each city they player in. If JJ had a dog, Shane would probably mix its name up with Drapeau's. The others didn't get that however pathetic or sad they might think Shane, Shane thought the same of them tenfold when they missed shots at practice or ate fast food on weekdays. Shane wasn't being prissy or funny when he said, don't embarass me—JJ still doesn't know exactly what it was, but he doesn't care to find out.

    Shane had poured everything into his team (possessively: it was his team) and he asked them to give it back that day, so they delivered. When Shane smiled at them afterwards, it felt like love.

    Character study on neurotic batshit hardass Captain Shane Hollander. The awe-inspiring and aloof Canadian Hockey Jesus Shane Hollander. Unwilling MLH sex icon Shane Hollander, the face on many mens' dart boards.

    or, JJ on the enigma of (his feelings for) Shane Hollander over the years.

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    14 Jun 2026