pandaguts
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i would shovel the worms that inhabit your brain by scenedenial
Fandoms: The Bear (TV 2022)
23 Jul 2024
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Summary
It’s not that Richie doesn’t like Sydney. She’s pretty and mean and she can clearly cook her ass off. She’s exactly the kind of woman he goes for: smart mouth, long hair, homicidal tendencies. She’s a little young, but other than that, yeah. Richie could like her.
The issue is that Carmen acts ridiculous around her. Her first day, him trailing her around the kitchen like a dementedly friendly shadow: here’s the dish pit, here’s the spice rack, stay away from Richie, hardee-har-har.
Whatever, Carmy, Richie thinks, it’s not like you had my dick in your throat twelve hours ago. Oh, wait.
Bookmarked by pandaguts
07 Jul 2026
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The Captain. History Teacher. Ex-Army man discharged after an injury. Hates Pat Butcher.
Pat Butcher. French Teacher. Six Time Winner of Nicest Teacher Award. Hates the Captain.
They’re famous in the school for their animosity towards each other and their propensity for childish pranks and shouting matches in the corridor. And now Humphrey is forcing them to chaperone the Year 12 Trip to Paris.
It’s all going to be fine.
Series
- Part 1 of adored 'verse
Bookmarked by pandaguts
23 Apr 2026
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“They just follow it around, copying it and helping it and bothering it so much that it's like, worn down into loving the duckling back and looking out for it.”
“So,” said Eddie, furrowing his brow. “In this scenario, you are—”
“A baby duckling, newly hatched into the world with no idea what’s going on.”
“And I am—”
“The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes.”
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Eddie has no idea how to cope when a temporary case of amnesia causes the return of Buck 1.0. Buck has no clue why his future self hasn't made the moves on his hot best friend. It all goes pretty well, considering.
Series
- Part 1 of make way for Buckling
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,226
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 536
- Kudos:
- 13,827
- Bookmarks:
- 3,181
- Hits:
- 150,745
Bookmarked by pandaguts
22 Mar 2026
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“Which do you think makes you feel most loved?”
Eddie thought for a long moment. Too long, maybe. Then he shrugged, “Honestly, Buck? I have no idea.”
Buck’s brows pinched up. “What do you mean? When have you felt the most loved?”
“Don’t make a big thing of this, Buck. Promise?”
Buck made a show of crossing his heart, brows still raised curiously.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever… really felt loved in a relationship? I’m not convinced that I know what makes me feel loved…”
OR -
After finding out that Eddie doesn't know what his love language is, Buck sets about finding out for him. He begins a five week experiment, one for each love language, to figure out which will make Eddie feel the most loved.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,332
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 441
- Kudos:
- 13,256
- Bookmarks:
- 3,322
- Hits:
- 110,988
Bookmarked by pandaguts
11 Mar 2026
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WANTED: Female, aged 20-30, to be my date for Christmas eve dinner with my Italian-American family. Must be willing to eat my mom’s cooking. No physical intimacy required. No strings attached—I will drive you home after. 4pm-10pm, 12/24. Salary negotiable. Call Carmen: (773) 555-0901.
OR: The one in which Sydney just needs a job, and Carmy will die before he proves Richie right.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 100,000
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 894
- Kudos:
- 3,762
- Bookmarks:
- 1,048
- Hits:
- 77,556
Bookmarked by pandaguts
22 Jul 2025