myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
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Summary
It’s 2000, and Hermione Granger is no longer the Ministry's 'Golden Girl'.
She lives in Sydney, has a job that isn't sucking her soul out, female friends, and Theo Nott as coworker/housemate/fake cousin - because OF COURSE.
She's even got parents who know her (though not as their daughter, but that's OK).
Oh, and she also has Draco Malfoy... Not like that. Obviously.Two years ago, Draco went back into the Leaky Cauldron after his trial instead of disappearing into the rain. Now, they are best friends (they're actually in love).
*smirks, rolls eyes*
This story takes place when Hermione comes back to England for Harry and Ginny’s wedding. Draco is back too - finished with MACUSA, rejected by the British Ministry, and still publicly known as 'the failed Death Eater who got off too lightly'. Once again, I ask - what could possibly go wrong?
*stares in capital-A angst, best friends as plausible deniability, first times, drunk calls, Hozier-level yearning, Draco Malfoy’s anxiety having its own postcode, and a HEA for the idiots in love*
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Summary
Village doctor Draco Malfoy is only trying to make dinner; it's not his fault he's doing it in a cottage in Scotland with his sleeves rolled.
It's also not his fault that he needs slutty little glasses to read the recipe.
Unfortunately for the pie, DADA Professor Hermione Granger-Malfoy is on her way home.
Mood: 'Feelin’ Good' - Michael Bublé
Series
- Part 4 of Fêted: A Matter of Time
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Sixteen Candles (and the rest) by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
19 Jun 2026
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Summary
Draco Malfoy is forty-six, late for his own birthday, and being bullied by everyone he loves except his mother.
There is cake (thanks Queen Delia). There is music (Sabrina slay). There is a bean (IYKYK). Eventually, there is very little dignity.
Also: this is now 2/3, because Hermione Granger-Malfoy has demanded a right of reply.
Happy birthday, D-Man. 🎂
Series
- Part 2 of Ferret Stabler's World, Excellent
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At The Corner of Lust and Friendship by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Jun 2026
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Summary
It’s 2006, and Hermione Granger wants one thing: to restore her parents’ memories.
With Ministry backing at last, she’s bound for Australia to try; if it works, she might not only get her family back, but change the lives of Janus Thickey Ward patients in the process.
Six months in Sydney should be straightforward enough… except for the guard dog the Minister insists on assigning her.
Enter Draco Malfoy. Once a failed Death Eater, now a MACUSA Auror and expert in cross-cultural cases (read: wrangling Muggles, avoiding Statute disasters, and being extremely irritating about perimeter security).
He’s spent eight years learning how not to be a massive wanker, all while still technically being Lord of Malfoy Manor.
Now? Well, now he’s been ordered to play bodyguard to the Golden Girl.
In a cramped little Bondi Junction house.
For half a year.Unfortunately for some people, Draco Malfoy is more than passably good at the job. What could possibly go wrong?
*stares in capital A-angst, explicit smut, fake dating but make it bureaucratically obnoxious, Draco Malfoy’s anxiety has anxiety, Hermione Granger having feelings against her will, and a HEA for the idiots in love*
Series
- Part 1 of Ferret Stabler's World, Excellent
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A Matter of Correspondence by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
04 Jun 2026
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Summary
Draco Malfoy thought his apology to Hermione "didn’t seem like the type of thing to say in a letter".
Eight years after he thought he missed his opportunity to tell her he was sorry, Draco takes the chance to say much more.
Letters exchanged in the time between Ron and Pansy's wedding, and whatever comes after.
Mood: 'Home' - Michael Bublé
Series
- Part 3 of Fêted: A Matter of Time
Recent series
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Fêted: A Matter of Time by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
22 Jun 2026
Summary
Eight years after the war, Hermione Granger returns to England for a wedding and discovers everyone has been busy becoming impossible.
Ron Weasley is marrying Pansy Parkinson.
Harry Potter has a husband.
Ginny knows far too much - as always... but now it's more what (and who?) she knows that's baffling.Speaking of-
Draco Malfoy, who she thought would have remained an unpleasant school memory for everyone, is now: a widower, a father, a healer, and sometimes even Prince Charming in a baseball cap.
There's fairy floss, meddlesome snakes (and lions), owls, one child with EXCELLENT timing, and a cottage by the loch where grief and joy will learn to sit at the same table.
This is not a story about replacing, fixing, or being rescued. It’s about second chances… and the obscene level of hotness I can fit into one imaginary blonde wizard.
Almost unbelievable to think this entire thing started because of Sabrina Carpenter's 'When Did You Get Hot?' as a fest prompt, and the words 'Optional: DILF', isn't it?
- Words:
- 31,076
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 5
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Ferret Stabler's World, Excellent by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
19 Jun 2026
- Words:
- 567,914
- Works:
- 2
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Equinox: The Elements of War by myfatherwillhearaboutthisss
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
26 Apr 2026
Summary
The war was meant to end at Hogwarts; instead, Harry Potter vanished and Voldemort lived.
Hermione Granger becomes the one thing the Dark Lord still wants badly enough to tear the world apart looking for her, and Draco Malfoy becomes the only thing standing between her and the madman living in his drawing room.
He is a Death Eater, a spy and the Heir to the house keeping her alive - she is no more than a bird in a cage made of stone and blood magic.
There are no saints or saviours, because sometimes surviving the end of the world is not the same thing as being saved.
- Words:
- 27,942
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 9