mirasymphony
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Hollander sighs. “It doesn’t concern you,” he says, and his eyes are pointed at Ilya but his gaze is unfocused, distant. Ilya remembers that last, game-winning shot. He wants Hollander’s attention, wants it more in this moment than he’d wanted the goal.
Ilya spreads his hands. “Then why are we still here when we could already be having victory sex in another room?” He smiles, deliberate and mean. “Well, victory sex for me, not for you.”
Normally, this would do the trick. Hollander stares back at Ilya and then says,
“Hayden’s sister thinks I have symptoms of autism.”
(Set circa 2014. Shane wrestles with the possibility he might be autistic. Ilya wrestles with how badly he wants Shane.)
Bookmarked by mirasymphony
24 Jun 2026
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After the cottage, Shane and Ilya’s lives look the same, but so much has changed. Hiding their love is hard, but maybe they don’t have to hide it from everyone.
Inspired by the idea that coming out happens over and over again through our lives.
Series
- Part 1 of Let My World Be Bigger Than a Closet
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- English
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- 13,933
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- 6/6
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Bookmarked by mirasymphony
23 Jun 2026
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It does mean missing out on things like barbeques and team dinners sometimes, but it’s not as if he would have been able to participate anyway. At this point in his life, risking someone not taking his allergies seriously would mean potentially missing games, which makes it unacceptable. Jackie always makes sure he has a dish or two that’s safe when he’s over at their house, but if he was going to be the one guy sitting and drinking ginger ale instead of taking part in sharing nachos or Korean barbeque or burgers or any other delicious thing he goes in knowing he can’t have anyway, there’s no point in making a fuss about it. He eats at home, has a drink with everyone else, and he calls it a day. Easy. Safe. Foolproof.
But also the reason it doesn’t occur to him that he hasn’t actually told Ilya about any of his allergies until it becomes immediately relevant five days into being at his cottage together.
(how ilya learns about shane's food allergies) (and how shane learns what it's like to have someone who always saves him a seat at the table) (and who also makes sure there's food he can eat on the table to start with)
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- English
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- 14,957
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by mirasymphony
09 Jun 2026
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Shane cups her cheek in his hand, running his thumb over the plush of her bottom lip. She looks at him through her fawnish lashes. He roves his eyes over her body. Her shoulders and biceps, her abs… She's so strong, so…
Incredible.
"I've never done that before," he admits, "Not with... with a woman, at least."
"Right, well," she rolls her eyes, "Would probably be better with a real man, yes?"
He shakes his head, "No. It wouldn't have been the same at all."
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or, Shane comes to terms with his sexuality only to get thrown right back into confusion by Rozanov.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,501
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- 6/6
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Bookmarked by mirasymphony
07 Jun 2026
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But it’s true. David Hollander is normal about hockey. He has a life outside it. He goes to work at the Treasury. He goes on long walks. He volunteers at animal shelters. He puzzles. Well—he works on puzzles? Ilya still is not sure how the verbs work there.
The point is: David Hollander built a life outside of hockey that was fulfilling—that remains fulfilling. This, in its roundabout way, and though Ilya could never admit it, saves Ilya’s life.
-x-
or, a treatise on grief, depression, and chronic suicidalityBookmarked by mirasymphony
30 May 2026