mind_the_gap



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    Cliff watches him squeeze the phone between his cheek and shoulder, lifting the jersey over his head as he continues to talk, a bit distracted now by the multitasking.

    “And was good practice, you know, for when I am your husband."

    Immediately, the locker room goes dead silent. And so does Rozanov, in fact.

    In which Ilya accidentally calls himself Shane's future husband in the middle of the Bears locker room. Worse still, they're not even dating yet.

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    20 Jun 2026

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    Shane doesn’t know how to grocery shop for two. He doesn’t know how to do any of this, really. He’s keenly aware that this was the longest stretch of time he’d be spending alone with Ilya, with any one person ever, outside of his parents.

    In a way, it feels like playing house, unpacking the groceries and setting out a set of towels and washcloths for him. It is playing house. This is what it might feel like, to be able to have him all the time. The thought feels impossible to contemplate, terrifying to dwell on for longer than a minute or two at a time.

    on finally getting to know your situationship of 10 years

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    18 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 23

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    “Everywhere I go,” Ilya said in the smallest of voices, “I am always ready for a fight.”

    Shane said nothing. He just nodded. I hear you. Speak out what you need to. I have you.

    “Russia was a fight. My family was a fight. Being foreign in America is a fight. Trying not to love you, trying to make people hate me so they don’t see me…” Ilya let his head fall against Shane again, like he couldn’t bear the mass of all these things anymore. “I have been fighting my whole life. Everywhere, Shane.”

    -----

    Shane finds Ilya deep in the hurt of healing.

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    16 Jun 2026

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    Ilya frowns. “Did Dykstra call me stupid?”

    Shane laughs. “No, Ilya. It’s like– when someone is so in love that they act a bit foolish with their… lover,” he explains, putting a special emphasis on the word lover, enjoying the way his boyfriend’s eyes crinkle with joy.

    He kisses his forehead for a split second, just because he can.

    “Ah,” Ilya finally understands, cheeks flaming red despite Russians not blushing. “I, how you say, contain multiples. Shane tells me always.”

    Everyone laughs, not in a mean or unkind way, and Shane is sure that he’s about to burst at the seams with all the love that is flowing through his veins.

    “It’s multitudes, Ilya. I contain multitudes,” he gently corrects.

    A very stressed Shane decides that Ilya deserves to be celebrated. So he comes out to the Ottawa Centaurs on his own and throws his boyfriend a surprise birthday party with them all.

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    14 Jun 2026

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    “You know, one day you’re gonna meet someone you love so much you’ll want to toss all your stupid rules out the window just to be around them,” Jessica told him the day they broke up.

    God, Shane remembers thinking. I fucking hope not.

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    12 Jun 2026