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a prize for rotten judgement by sarcasticfishes for blacktofade
Fandoms: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF
04 Apr 2020
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“You’d drive each other crazy. You sit together at your office all day, and then you’d be commuting home together, eating dinner together, watching TV together, going to bed — well, not together, but you get it, right?”
It doesn’t sound so awful to Shane. There are worse people he could be spending all his hours with than Ryan Bergara.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,882
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 92
- Kudos:
- 1,440
- Bookmarks:
- 211
- Hits:
- 12,244
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
08 Jul 2026
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“So,” Hajime says, as he peels off his uniform shirt, letting it fall on top of his gym bag. “Have you guys ever heard of like, someone being turned on by people saying nice things to them?”
Matsukawa slams his locker shut. “Oh my god,” he says.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,680
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 263
- Kudos:
- 12,245
- Bookmarks:
- 2,059
- Hits:
- 137,482
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
25 Jun 2026
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This is not a continuation of “Anything But Gentle”. It’s essentially the same fic, but from Iwaizumi’s point of view. Can be read before “Anything But Gentle” or as a stand-alone.
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The way he kissed was nothing like the way he did anything else.He was pale skin with a galaxy of freckles, and he was arching sets, and he was loud and he was raucous and he was soft. He was infinite.
He was not the shuddering of lungs. He was not fast breaths and quick pants.
Quiet was the last word anyone would ever use to describe Oikawa Tōru, and yet that was the only word coming to Hajime’s mind at that moment.
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Hajime thinks he and Oikawa are dating, and he is ecstatic.But then, he finds out that Oikawa thought differently the whole time.
Series
- Part 2 of Anything But
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
23 Jun 2026
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Kiyoko compliments Hinata's body. It turns into a chaotic mess where the team (aka Tanaka and Nishinoya) tries everything in their power to get a glimpse of Hinata shirtless.
Hinata is oblivious and Kageyama is stressed out.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,582
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 160
- Kudos:
- 18,149
- Bookmarks:
- 2,354
- Hits:
- 136,147
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
22 Jun 2026
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The Karasuno team's bus breaks down so they are forced to squeeze into Tanaka's sister's van. It's a tight fit, so Daichi suggests the smaller players sit in someone's lap. This does not go over well for Kageyama Tobio.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,247
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 43
- Kudos:
- 10,487
- Bookmarks:
- 921
- Hits:
- 84,476
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
22 Jun 2026
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Hinata starts fading away from him, and Kageyama tells himself that he doesn't mind.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
22 Jun 2026
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Mi media naranja. Half an orange, right? Like—two sides of the same coin, or something. A complementary coupla guys. A little silly, maybe, referring to a grown adult as a piece of fruit, but the sentiment is sweet enough.
“Hey,” Buck asks the girl beside him. “Um, Alba. She called Rosie ‘mi media naranja’. Like—half an orange? Is that a common saying in Mexico?”
“Oh, sure,” she nods. “It’s a pretty normal term of endearment. Cheesy as hell, but, well.” She gestures at where Eddie and the two women are sitting. Alba’s holding Rosie’s hand now. “When you’ve known each other that long and fit together that well… it’s just sweet.”
My most best friend. That’s what Alba said. That’s—well, that’s who Eddie is to him, essentially. And if what Eddie’s missing is a little affection in a language that feels like home, well. Buck can give that to him.
or, buck notices the lack of spanish terms of endearment in eddie’s life since his abuela died. so, he’s armed with what he’s been reliably informed is a totally normal thing to call your buddy. Operation Make My Best Friend Feel Cherished, as he’s named it on a trial basis in the privacy of his own head, is a-go
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
19 Jun 2026
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"That is. Okay. Where do I start." Pushing off the counter — hands need to be free for this. "Number one. That is not how being secure in your sexuality works. Number two. That is the opposite of how it works. Number three. Most straight men who are secure in their sexuality do not, as a method of confirming this, seek out gay sex. That is— Eddie, that is gay. The thing you are describing is gay. The act of doing it is gay. There is no version of this where you end up more straight at the other end."
Eddie scoffs. "You don't know that."
"I do know that."
"You don't."
"Eddie, I am bi. I have personally conducted this experiment. The results are in."
Or,
Eddie asks Buck to fuck him to prove he's straight. Things go about as well as you'd think.Series
- Part 1 of veni, vidi, vici
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,297
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 193
- Kudos:
- 3,642
- Bookmarks:
- 736
- Hits:
- 32,446
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
18 Jun 2026
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“Do you think he knows he's in a tragedy?”
Hawkeye has a habit of walking into BJ’s classroom mid-rant and expecting him to keep up. BJ got used to it by the second week of September. Now, he doesn’t even look up from the paper he’s grading.
“Who?”
“Hamlet!” Hawkeye scoffs, waving his arms. “Hamlet! Who else?"
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a beejhawk teacher au
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
15 Jun 2026
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(to date the most popular thing i've done, tumblr mirror here)
Adrenaline puts Chuck in an uncomfortable situation, and Mike accidentally makes it worse (read: better).
"He is straddling the gearshift and his hand is on his hip, oh God, this can’t get worse."
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
14 Jun 2026
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“Never have ever I kissed someone in character,” Mike says, and laughs triumphantly when everyone else groans and drinks.
“We’ve gotta change that sometime, Smiling Dragon,” Chuck grins, and Mike’s heart goes hot and sharp in his chest all of a sudden.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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When Mike and Chuck fight, the entire city knows.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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It starts with Mike wondering how else he could make Chuck scream, and it's all downhill from there.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
13 Jun 2026
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What's shocking is that Riz is still here, perched on Fabian's shoulders for everyone to see. Fabian is normally so careful about who sees them together, he'll probably be really embarrassed tomorrow when he sobers up and realizes what happened.
or:
fabian is trying to be a better friend and riz is confusedBookmarked by humanedisaster
11 Jun 2026
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Their usual sleepover night starts out normally, getting ice cream at Basrar’s with their friends, riding the Hangman back to Fabian’s house, greeting Cathilda on their way up to the bedroom.
“Well The Ball, what shall it be? A movie? I can have Cathilda send up some snacks. Or maybe we could-”
“We should have sex,” Riz blurts out.
*Record scratch*
Riz and Fabian's first time in ~10K or less
Series
- Part 3 of demisexual riz oneshots
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
05 Jun 2026
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Riz Gukgak and the Case of the Secret Romantic Notes by fangirl_squee
Fandoms: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
13 Mar 2022
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Riz has a mystery on his hands: who keeps leaving notes in his locker and, even more mysteriously, why?
"It's probably a secret admirer," said Gorgug.
"My main theory right now is that it's an assassin of some kind," said Riz.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
05 Jun 2026
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Eyes narrowed, slitted pupils so thin they could pick a lock. Wide, fin-like ears pressed flat back against his head—'airship ears', Adaine had said once, and it made Riz laugh so hard he had forgotten what he had been reacting to in the first place. Tail thrashing back and forth, making a rhythmic thwick thwack against his legs, or his briefcase, or both. Extra-sharp teeth bared wide, hissing with a confidence he didn't have in freshman year.
Riz's threat displays were hypnotizing. Fabian almost forgot the punchline of his own joke.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
04 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 22,573
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
04 Jun 2026
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“Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce,” BJ croons in your ear. “So quick to offer your food and your socks and your opinions. I wonder what other intimacies you would offer if I asked,” he breathes as your toes curl in your regulation boots.
“Which ones did you want?” you answer, wow, so stupidly, so incredibly stupidly. BJ smiles at you, his expression almost wolfish, and you shiver. It feels like you’re in a daze, like you’ve entered a mirror universe where BJ looks and talks even more like a pinup holo than usual.
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In which BJ starts losing some of that steely Vulcan control, and Hawkeye pokes his nose in places where he only technically belongs.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
31 May 2026
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“We can make it a game, for old time’s sake. Tell me three things about yourself, but make one of them a lie.”
AKA a story told through storytelling, and how the truth is usually (but not always) easier to swallow if it tastes like a lie. Featuring M*A*S*H unit sleepover shenanigans, BJ goes to Maine, and BJ’s Complete Lies.
Bookmarked by humanedisaster
29 May 2026