flatwoods
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Recent works
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“Melanie did say she and Georgie wanted to visit soon the last time you called, right? Maybe she'll get so pissed off by the roads up here that she'll go back to the Slaughter."
“Maybe their car will die on the way up and they won’t be able to call for help and they’ll get lost in the Scottish wilderness.”
"Maybe they'll forget I'm allergic to cats and bring the Admiral up and I'll break into hives and die."
“Maybe Georgie will bring pictures from when I didn’t wash my hair for three weeks in college and you’ll break up with me.”
Martin laughs at that. “Maybe I will,” he says, and Jon smacks him lightly on the arm. “Hey!”
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“Oh, right, see—the, the problem with trying to make someone jealous like that is it just shows how much you still care about the other person, right? Like, I really do not give a shit if Peter hooks up with someone else. I honestly wish he would.” The man downs the rest of his whiskey. “It would make my life a hell of a lot easier,” he mutters into the glass.
“I—I get that,” Jon says somewhat stiltedly. He’s still confused as to what exactly this guy wants, and who he is, and why they’re still talking.
“What I’m saying is that I don’t care if Peter flirts with someone all night, but he’s proving to me right now that he would definitely care if I did. And I’m guessing it’s the same for your ex?”
“Oh,” Jon says as he suddenly gets it. "Oh."
“So….” The other man taps his fingernails against his now-empty glass. Jon realizes he looks rather nervous. “Uh, I’m Martin, by the way.”
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i can hardly stand the sight of it all by flatwoods
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
09 May 2020
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Gerard Keay was in the middle of getting the eye tattoos on his left knuckles touched up when he remembered he was dying.
Just as the tattoo artist closed a nigh-imperceptible gap in the iris of his ring finger—the last of the little faded blemishes that had accumulated in the years since he’d first got them—the knowledge that he had a brain tumor popped into his head as casually as if he were remembering a crush he’d had in middle school. It felt familiar, sort of nauseating, and in an upsetting way, weirdly funny.
“Oh, fuck,” said Gerry, mostly because he didn’t know what else he could say.
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you see two red lights and nine yellow lights in the forest it is mothman and his menorah by flatwoods
Fandoms: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
06 Dec 2018
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a light hanukkah fic for these dark winter months
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“Hey, Taako? One more question?”
Taako groaned. “About to sleep here, Mags, but fine. Shoot.”
“Does Merle know you’re dating the guy who cut off his arm?”
Taako’s eyes snapped open in alarm. Shit. “I mean… technically you cut off his arm, homie.”
“Yeah, and you cheered me on while it happened—fine. Lemme fix my question. Does Merle know you’re dating the guy that tried to kill him and instead caused the loss of his arm in the process?”
“…No. No he doesn’t."
Recent bookmarks
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Sokka is so sure that Zuko is being a sneaky, conniving jerkbender - he just had to catch him in the act! He really doesn’t expect for the guy to keep unveiling horrible childhood trauma every time Sokka steps in it, though, and it’s really starting to get awkward and concerning.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,282
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 151
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- 3,275
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Bookmarked by flatwoods
01 Aug 2026
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All Zuko had been trying to do was wash some dishes. Or: The one where Zuko and Katara both mean well, but still can't find their footing around each other in time to prevent explosive shouting, broken dishes, an impromptu arrest, and Team Avatar's third- nay, fourth jailbreak. Fifth? They've lost count at this point, but at least they're not willing to lose Zuko... now, if only he realized that.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,811
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 381
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- 4,736
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- 1,058
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- 40,714
Bookmarked by flatwoods
01 Aug 2026
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Iroh insists they create a new life and identity in Ba Sing Se. Zuko wants nothing more than to bide his time until his next opportunity to return home, until he realizes ‘Lee’ can get away with things Zuko never could.
Zuko dons the mantle of the Blue Spirit again only to lose his focus when the Avatar comes to the city. This time, however, his attention is drawn to the annoying Southern Tribe warrior.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 192,682
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 27
- Comments:
- 4,808
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- 30,365
- Bookmarks:
- 7,632
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Bookmarked by flatwoods
31 Jul 2026
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Zuko botches his escape on the day of the eclipse and sits out the war in prison. What will the Gaang do with a new Fire Lord they can't trust? Season Four "Zuko never joined the Gaang, and he's really bad at being good" AU.
Featuring Azula's extended field trip, June not signing up for this, and Sokka's increasing desire to scream. Come get your international politics with a side of baby dragons.
Podfic and German translation now available, see chapter one notes!
Series
- Part 1 of Towards the Sun
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 138,891
- Chapters:
- 51/51
- Collections:
- 63
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- 11,367
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- 30,240
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- 9,006
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- 1,027,397
Bookmarked by flatwoods
24 Jul 2026
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After the fateful Agni Kai, instead of sending him off on a ship, Fire Lord Ozai decided to remove his son's title and relegate him to being part of the Palace staff.
Zuko's pretty sure he's going to go back to being Crown Prince any day now.
Just a few more days.
And then the Avatar and his companions are captured.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,926
- Chapters:
- 14/14
- Comments:
- 961
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- 6,291
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Bookmarked by flatwoods
21 Jul 2026