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  1. Public Bookmark 92

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    “You still hate him,” Georgie said, folding her arms. “Unbelievable.”

    “I don’t hate him,” Jon protested. “I - I hardly think of him.”

    Except for last night, when Jon had fallen asleep reading through the published poetry of one M. K. Blackwood. And the night before that. And, if Jon is being honest with himself, the night before that.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,238
    Chapters:
    15/?
    Comments:
    529
    Kudos:
    503
    Bookmarks:
    92
    Hits:
    11,006

    18 Oct 2022

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    There was a certain look that Aziraphale wore occasionally—a pinched sort of moue that looked like he’d just taken a very large mouthful of cinnamon—which meant he thought Crowley was being ridiculous. He had put it on.

     

    “Hang on,” he had said. “You want us to do human things?”

     

    *

    If you're going to go native, you might as well go all the way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    44,117
    Chapters:
    10/?
    Comments:
    3,583
    Kudos:
    7,052
    Bookmarks:
    1,788
    Hits:
    103,477

    12 Dec 2021

  3. Public Bookmark 32

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    Summary

    "Are you having a hard time there sweetie?"

    "I am, thank you for asking. Honestly Wille, I think I might die soon. Do you understand me?"

    or

    Simon and Wille are fuck buddies.

    Simon fucks quick and comes quick.
    Wille wants them to try it his way instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,160
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    382
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    7,491

    12 Dec 2021

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In which temptations are accomplished, grand romantic gestures are made, and two ineffable co-stars only take four seasons of an award-winning television program to realize they’re on their own side (at last, at last.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,505
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    5,662
    Kudos:
    16,441
    Bookmarks:
    5,654
    Hits:
    360,878

    07 Dec 2020

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    CROWLEY: I try not to make a habit of gratitude, but I must give our appreciation to everyone out there who’s been listening and subscribing to The Ineffable Plan.
    AZIRAPHALE: Ooh, yes, we’ve become quite popular, haven’t we?
    CROWLEY: Yeah, just hit number eight on the advice charts … No advertising at all.
    AZIRAPHALE: Mm. How … miraculous.
    CROWLEY: … Aziraphale. You did not.

     

    ***

    Crowley and Aziraphale are very possibly the people least qualified, on the entire planet, to start up an advice podcast.

    But what else is there to do when the world isn’t ending anytime soon, you’re technically on indefinite sabbatical from your lifelong careers, and you need a plausible excuse to spend more time with your best friend who you’re definitely not, absolutely not, maybe just a little, actually maybe overwhelmingly in love with?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,541
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    1,203
    Kudos:
    22,660
    Bookmarks:
    5,981
    Hits:
    148,166

    21 Nov 2020

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Crowley was standing in the middle of the room, hands in his pockets, looking a little lost. Aziraphale eyed the distance between them. Five steps. Five steps, and six thousand years, and a battlefield spanning an eternity.

     

    The story of the little moments over the millennia that shape an angel’s regard for a demon, and the way he slowly, with great reluctance but inevitable surety, falls in love.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,548
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    861
    Kudos:
    11,215
    Bookmarks:
    2,607
    Hits:
    99,232

    15 Nov 2020

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley doesn’t miss his divinity, not really. So far as he can remember, it had felt like being crowded into a full-body angora onesie that was about half a size too small and which you could never take off. Itchy, constricting, and oppressively luxurious. But apparently wearing an angel’s skin for a morning had stirred something up from the quagmire, some primeval reminder of what was taken when he Fell.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,755
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    489
    Bookmarks:
    145
    Hits:
    4,963

    05 Aug 2020

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale was intended to wield a blade in the end times. Crowley doesn't mind in the least.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,435
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    197
    Kudos:
    2,820
    Bookmarks:
    458
    Hits:
    16,414

    04 Aug 2020

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crowley doesn't know Aziraphale's holy water was made with the best of intentions and the purest of love.

    Over the years, the angel's prayer proves vital: "If nothing else God, I ask that if he makes to use this on himself, to destroy his own existence, please... please stay his hand."

    How a demon survives themself for over 50 years with a thermos full of holy water.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,398
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    137
    Kudos:
    611
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    9,483

    04 Aug 2020

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    I’m rough,” Crowley argued. “A rough beast, and all that. Well,” he corrected himself, “an agent of the rough beast. Well, an associate. It’s all very complicated, as you bloody well know."

    OR

    There's no AO3 rating for 'sex scene where barely anything except wings gets touched' but you should know that, in my heart, bits of this are definitely indecent.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,008
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    137
    Kudos:
    4,489
    Bookmarks:
    781
    Hits:
    32,813

    02 Aug 2020

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    AU. Series. Aziraphale may have lost hope as the Apocalypse looms, but Crowley isn't giving up without a fight.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,049
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    690
    Kudos:
    9,293
    Bookmarks:
    341
    Hits:
    70,086

    29 Jul 2020

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale returns to Crowley's flat for the night after Armageddon. After all, it's hardly the first time they've shared sleeping arrangements.
    Or: Times throughout history Crowley and Aziraphale have shared a bed.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,575
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Comments:
    1,248
    Kudos:
    3,892
    Bookmarks:
    1,080
    Hits:
    38,682

    27 Jul 2020

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Finally, Aziraphale spoke. “You mean to say— you got us married?”

    “Just as a precaution, I never really thought I’d end up discorporated again, it’d been ages, you just don’t get stampedes or assassinations like you used to —”

    “You got us married, and you didn’t tell me?”

    ***

    Crowley gets inconveniently discorporated. And it’s not like it’s ever been easy to get a new body, but this time around, things really aren’t looking good. His new innuendo-obsessed lust-demon of a coworker honestly isn’t helping things.

    Meanwhile, Aziraphale has a dead body to contend with, and an occult mortician & his very normal daughter to fend off. What lengths will he go to in order to get Crowley back to Earth?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,774
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    1,113
    Kudos:
    5,768
    Bookmarks:
    1,750
    Hits:
    64,574

    25 Jul 2020

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Let’s get lunch,” Crowley said, sauntering into the bookshop one October afternoon, his hair a little windswept and his cheeks a little pink from the chill, “what do you think, Le Café du Marché?”

    Whatever it was that was waiting to give inside Aziraphale’s chest snapped like a twig. He didn’t even like French food.

    “Crowley,” Aziraphale said, setting down his book with an argumentative slap. “You don’t even like French food.”

    *

    The world hadn’t ended, which was all well and good. If only this had. This, of course, being lunch.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,484
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    442
    Kudos:
    5,325
    Bookmarks:
    942
    Hits:
    34,344

    24 Jul 2020

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    1941 is the London Blitz and the year that MI5 really comes into its own with the now infamous ‘double cross’ system. The service keep tabs on suspects, root out enemy agents and try to turn them into doubles.

    Anthony J Crowley is fucking great at this job. He can be sneaky, underhanded and damn ruthless but also charming and kind. It’s what makes him good at turning.

    Aziraphale is just a regular Soho bookseller who loves his shop and books and good food and wine when he’s approached by a woman claiming to be MI5, wanting to recruit him for espionage. The poor man is too trusting and gets the shock of his life when he’s approached by a charming but dangerous-looking man also claiming to be MI5.

    Crowley recruits Aziraphale to double cross a double crosser and Aziraphale takes to espionage like a duck to water.

    Danger, hijinks, and sex ensue.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    133,390
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    2,795
    Kudos:
    5,592
    Bookmarks:
    1,674
    Hits:
    129,015

    21 Jul 2020

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Aziraphale liked fancy wines and gourmet foods and the kind of music he referred to as ‘pleasure to the senses’, and Crowley really should have known he’d be a bloody hedonist.

    Or: post-canon get-together fic wherein Aziraphale really owns those pornography books Gabriel was looking for, and Crowley's in way over his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    147
    Kudos:
    3,081
    Bookmarks:
    337
    Hits:
    32,654

    08 Jul 2020

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Crawley nodded down at the sweaty humans undulating in a frightfully uncomfortable-looking position below them. “Mating,” he clarified. “One of God’s better ideas, if you ask me. Looks like it could be fun.” 

    “Does it?” Aziraphale asked doubtfully. “It’s all a bit sticky for my tastes. I think She had the right of it with plants. Pollination seems much more sensible.”

    It takes Aziraphale 6000 years to catch up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,919
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    168
    Kudos:
    4,363
    Bookmarks:
    698
    Hits:
    38,348

    01 Jul 2020

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “It’s just,” he continued, “I’ve noticed that humans—some humans, anyway—they use that word, angel, as a…well, as a sort of…endearment.”

    “Do they?” said Crowley, who had invented using the word as an endearment in the 13th century AD.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,520
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    486
    Kudos:
    10,180
    Bookmarks:
    2,041
    Hits:
    71,120

    30 Jun 2020

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Are you saying I feel like this because of my time in Hell? I thought you meant moral consequences.”

    “Since when do I give a toss about moral consequences, angel? No, you’ve got a Hell hangover. Must have hit once the adrenaline wore off,” Crowley answered.

    Hell hangover?” Aziraphale repeated incredulously.

    Aziraphale's trip down to Hell leaves him worse for wear.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,945
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    258
    Kudos:
    5,049
    Bookmarks:
    894
    Hits:
    28,516

    29 Jun 2020

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Ready for lunch?” Crowley drops to his knees to start unbuckling the straps on the basket as though this is something they do all the time; as though he hasn’t just effortlessly catapulted Aziraphale back in time almost fifty years.

    “You remembered,” Aziraphale breathes as wonder courses through him. He mentioned something once during an awkward moment, half a century ago, and now here kneels a demon atop a picnic blanket.

    “Hmm?” Crowley barely shoots him a sidelong glance as he concentrates on opening the basket.

    Aziraphale’s eyes do not move from him. “You remembered,” he repeats, no less stunned. “Crowley, you really didn’t have to.”

    Crowley’s hands still. Eventually, his eyes still on the basket, he murmurs, “Well, we did The Ritz, didn’t we?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    245
    Kudos:
    7,742
    Bookmarks:
    1,372
    Hits:
    57,322

    21 Jun 2020

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