buttcatcher



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Recent series

  1. Words:
    69,348
    Works:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    640

Recent bookmarks

  1. Public Bookmark *

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    After Shane comes out, the Metros become convinced he might be attracted to them.

    Shane corrects this assumption with devastating precision, accidentally describes Ilya Rozanov in the process, and somehow turns the entire locker room into a deranged pageant of heterosexual insecurity.

    Edit: Bonus scene added 19/06/2026

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,182
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    187
    Kudos:
    3,633
    Bookmarks:
    848
    Hits:
    20,973

    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Marlow: UHHHH
    Connors: GOOD LORD
    Carmichael: WHAT THE HELL CAP?
    Ilya: Oops
    Ilya: Wrong chat
    Ilya: Obviously
    Ilya: You’re welcome though 😏

    Or: A handful of times Shane and Ilya accidentally send sexts to a group chat, +1 time they sext in a group chat on purpose

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,102
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    859
    Kudos:
    9,492
    Bookmarks:
    1,253
    Hits:
    35,830

    18 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Cliff Marleau ✅ @bostonsmarleau
    Happy birthday to the sexiest, finest, most scrumptious man I’ve ever met. I miss him and his fat ass every day. Sometimes I can still hear his voice.

    💬 29.3K 🔄 248.6K ❤️ 530.3K

    Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
    marly i’m not fucking dead

    Shane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
    STOP CALLING MY HUSBAND’S ASS FAT

    Or: Twitter celebrates Ilya’s birthday!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,175
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    1,865
    Bookmarks:
    227
    Hits:
    8,652

    17 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “No vodka?” Rozanov asks, tsking in disapproval but looking amused. “What then? What does the great Shane Hollander want when he does a good job? What is your vice, Hollander?”

    “Hmmmm, mangoes,” Shane sighs out wistfully. It’s not a dangerous allergy for him, but it does mean being itchy and sometimes a little queasy for a couple of days after. Really he knows that he should probably avoid them altogether, but with every other restriction he has and with how controlled he is with his life even outside of that, it’s his one little indulgence, a pressure-relief valve of one bad choice to let some steam off at the end of a season, when he carves out time in his cottage when he can make his annual bad choice and enjoy a few days of wild mango madness before he makes himself buckle back into the restraints he usually keeps his life in.

    He looks up when he hears Rozanov snort.

    “Mangoes?” Rozanov repeats, tugging his shirt over his head. “Really?”

    “They’re good,” Shane defends. “Better than vodka,” he adds, pointedly.

    (shane has food allergies but makes an exception for mangoes) (5 times ilya didn't find out about this allergy and 1 time he did)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,653
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    377
    Kudos:
    2,907
    Bookmarks:
    540
    Hits:
    15,364

    17 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 91

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    or: 5 times Ilya got defeated by English and 1 time Ilya defeated English.
    A birthday social media fic for the best hockey player, Ilya Rozanov

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,681
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    33
    Kudos:
    749
    Bookmarks:
    91
    Hits:
    6,960

    13 Jun 2026