bethegaycowboy
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He’s not stupid. It took him some time — years — but Eddie’s half certain that, should his patience snap one day, should he lean in across the way one night when it’s just the two of them, should he palm at Buck’s jaw to bring his face closer and kiss him on the mouth, Buck would kiss him back. That’s not the problem.
The problem is that Eddie’s gonna ruin it.
He’s ruined every other romantic relationship in his life. If it happens with Buck, Eddie knows neither of them will come back from it.
These days, he’s content with having Buck the way he does now. He may succumb to weakness, sometimes, like he just did in the kitchen, holding Buck like that, but Eddie’s willpower is the stuff of legend. He’s happy with his place in Buck’s life. He can play the part of codependent best friend, dad who stepped up, platonic soulmate.
The main issue here, really, hindsight twenty-twenty and all, is that Eddie really misses being a husband.
or: five times eddie, willing and knowing, acts like buck's husband, and one time he. well. you can guess where this is going.
Bookmarked by bethegaycowboy
05 Aug 2026
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The air in the kitchen is heavy with heat and scent. Two pies are on the counter, under a dish towel. One on the windowsill. Buttery, flaky crust, just touched with brown, a latticed top with soft, wet pink peeking through. Eddie lays a hand on the top; just warm, still. His mouth waters so hard it makes his jaw twinge.
Bookmarked by bethegaycowboy
07 Apr 2026
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He should have been relieved that he no longer had to hide, and he was. He just… couldn’t find his footing. He was hallucinating an elaborate reality where he was a person Eddie Diaz held and kissed and took to bed.
Bookmarked by bethegaycowboy
22 Oct 2025
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Eddie tries to peek out the windows to see what's out there as he approaches the door, but Buck moves to obstruct his view. "Hey, uh. So. I found … uh, this piece of furniture, on Marketplace. And if you hate it, it's fine. No biggie! I just … it was such a good deal!"
They don't need more furniture. In fact, they actively need less, so Buck wouldn't buy something new without a really good reason.
"Okay, Buck, I trust you. What did you get?"
"It's … I guess, I mean, um. Well, I think you should just come see." Buck turns around before Eddie can reply and heads out the front door.
Eddie stays hot on his heels for barely even one square of sidewalk, stopping in his tracks when he sees the bright red metal frame that's strapped down in Buck's truck bed. It's upright, so Eddie has a clear view of what Buck picked up for them.
It's bunk beds.
Buck and Eddie try to process their grief about Bobby's death and figure out what they mean to each other, all while squeezed into Eddie's two-bedroom house.
Bookmarked by bethegaycowboy
19 Oct 2025
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Missing Chris is less of an emotion these days and more of a physical entity. He’s sure everyone can see that he’s slowly hollowing himself out, that he can’t do much of anything else.
But when Jee laughs at him trying to get his tongue to touch his nose, and Mara loops one of her arms through his to keep him from tossing the rest of his cup in the garbage, Eddie feels solid again.
Maybe he likes yellow birthday cake ice cream after all.
(or, gerrard messes with the team's schedules and eddie 'i just drove my son to flee the state' diaz is the only option to watch mara and jee-yun after school on tuesdays, which, shouldn't be a problem at all, right?)
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Bookmarked by bethegaycowboy
24 Sep 2025