askybuiltbeforeus



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    “They need to return to a conference based system,” Svetlana said, slamming her hand against the table. “It was fucking fine the way it was, why are we handing out participation trophies to shitty divisions?”

    Ilya raised his eyebrows from where he hovered in the kitchen, cracking open another Red Bull.

    “This is fun,” he said, deadpanned. “You guys should start a podcast or something. I would not listen, you are both terribly boring.”

    * * *

    Or, after an injury on the ice forces Shane into an early retirement, he and Svetlana start a podcast.

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    14 May 2026

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    Ilya still loves a terrible decision. Nearly ten years of exposure to Shane just mean that now, the terrible decision comes with a plan. This time it comes with bullet pointed lists, research. Fresh ideas scribbled late at night and stuck, one over the other, onto the fridge door.

    This crucial, terrible decision comes with deliberation and forethought and a twelve-step fucking plan.

    A plan that starts with ‘attend every game he can between the women’s league’s rivals-turned-wives Clara and Katya’ and ends with ‘kiss Shane on the mouth at center ice.’

    Because Icarus has nothing on Ilya fucking Rozanov. The internet is not ready. Yuna is going to have his head for this. Step one begins on Friday. He cannot fucking wait.

    --

    Half Ilya Rozanov POV and half social media fic tracking the chaos, managed and otherwise, that is unleashed as Ilya enacts his plan.

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    12 May 2026

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    Ilya Rozanov is the messy queer rep the MLH needs. A public multi-year situationship largely conducted via Twitter with the weird-ass mascot of the Philly team he has no other rapport with whatsoever is precisely the kind of representation kids need to be able to look up to.
    Is he a genius or an idiot? Nobody knows.

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    23 Apr 2026

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    In which I put Hollanov into SituationsTM as if they were living in a procedural TV show land like Criminal Minds, The Rookie, Castle or Bones. Where, yes, hockey players attract a lot of trouble and then sort of end up solving crimes to save each other’s lives.

    ✨ Long live the power of looooooove and crazy shenanigans ✨

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    19 Apr 2026

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    17 Apr 2026