amnesiac
Recent bookmarks
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i want catharsis, no, i want love by ingydar
Fandoms: Nirvanna the Band the Show (Canada TV 2017)
10 May 2026
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Summary
Matt has been dyking out her whole life, basically. It’s not exactly a secret. It’s on Jay that she hasn’t been able to see it, hasn’t been able to understand what’s right in front of her, loud and open.
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i'm in your city, can you show me around it? by accoutrement
Fandoms: Nirvanna the Band the Show (Canada TV 2017)
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
"How are you, Bird? It's good?"
"Yeah." His hairline and the divots of his collarbone are shining. The inner corners of his eyes. "Good." He swallows, and Matt watches his Adam's apple working. "I'm glad this is with you."
Series
- Part 3 of the door you run through
Bookmarked by amnesiac
14 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Generous, aware, receptive. Willing. Open. All Matt has to say is I gotcha and Jay nuzzles right in. If only Matt could get him on camera like this. A dream on celluloid.
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Tags
Summary
It’s taking longer than Jay thought it would to get back on his feet.
He can’t afford his own place, so he’s still living with Matt. They move through each other’s lives like the other is invisible. Or, at least, that’s true of Jay. Matt keeps doing things for him that Jay would tell him to stop doing if he could see him. Jay wakes up and finds his water bottle full, finds breakfast on the kitchen counter with a fork and knife on a napkin alongside it, finds his bed made and his laundry done. These are, maybe importantly, things that Matt has never done for him before. And still.
Bookmarked by amnesiac
13 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Jay almost wishes that he would just hit him, that he would pull him onto the floor and whale on him the way that they used to, the way that felt right, the way that made Jay feel sorry and happy and like the thing they were doing together was gonna work. Without it, they’re like opposing magnets, they’re pressing into each other's space and thrown in opposite directions. Getting hurt by how badly they want to crash together.
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Whatever & Ever, Amen by Wheat From Chaff (wheatfromchaff)
Fandom Nirvanna the Band the Show (Canada TV 2017), Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2025), Nirvanna the Band the Show the Movie (2026)
07 Jun 2026
- Words:
- 62,613
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 26
Bookmarked by amnesiac
12 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
“You're so perfect. Sometimes I wonder how you can be real. I used to think I dreamt you up, you know that? But I—I think I had it backwards. I think—think I'm the one. I had to dream myself up just to be with you. You know what I mean?"
perfect perfect characterization
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Tags
Summary
It was true that Matt was obsessed with the idea of *having had* sex, but he didn’t show any interest in trying to pursue anybody. What Matt was mostly interested in was Jay being involved, somehow. How could he not understand that this was too much to ask, even for them? Matt didn’t ever seem to feel bad about needing things from people.
Bookmarked by amnesiac
08 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
It's not that hard to slip into this newly invented sex persona, either; in fact this is a version of something Matt does every day with him, just not usually this literal. It is sincere but still distanced, like only one layer of ironic kayfabe away from what he actually wants and feels, as opposed to the usual six or seven. If you are performing then you are the one in control. If you are in on the joke, no one can hurt you.