SempiternalSorrow



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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    15 Jul 2026

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    He crowds Shane into the hood of the car, hands up under his shirt and jacket again. October is getting cold; nights are getting colder. The places where Ilya is touching him are the only parts of Shane’s body that are warm right now. Maybe that’s why he wraps his arms around Ilya’s neck and clings to him, though he doesn’t necessarily surprise himself with it. They don’t even kiss for a moment. Ilya busies himself breathing into the crook of Shane’s neck, trying to regain control. Shane opens his eyes and gazes over Ilya’s shoulder at the dark field and realizes that an utterly foreign feeling has risen up in him. It’s Ilya’s broad shoulders and beautiful hair between Shane and the world and he feels—small. Protected.
    “Oh my God,” Shane whispers, completely ashamed of the feeling and hungry for it. It curls warm in his stomach. His toes arch inside his shoes. Something about being so close to this man, something about Ilya putting himself between Shane and—the world. Whatever lurks in the deep night. It’s a feeling like a ghost, something that Shane isn’t allowed to look directly at except for moments like these. Quiet and dark.

    Shane, Ilya, Vermont. Meeting in the middle.

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    14 Jul 2026

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    Morselmôrs(ə)l • [mor-sel]
    noun
    1.) A piece; a bite
    2.) A small quantity
    3.) Something delectable and pleasing

    Thoughts on a marriage; or, things that might have happened.

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    14 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 78

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    When Yuna first utters the exact words -your sex tape has been leaked- something settles in Shane’s core.

    He continues to breathe as Ilya responds to her in disbelief. The phrases -not possible- and -locked safe- bounce off Shane’s ears as he blinks slowly. He directs his attention internally instead of joining the chaos, waiting for the inevitable symptoms.

    The chill that will rush through his limbs.

    The pool ball that will settle in the depths of his throat.

    Hollanov Kink Week Day 3: Exhibitionism

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    12 Jul 2026

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    In a state of extreme horniness, Shane agrees to make a spicy video for Ilya, and it unfortunately doesn’t stay between just them. One guess as to whose fault it is that it leaks (you're only half right).

    (Set in the 2015-2016 season)

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    05 Jul 2026