Sebaastian



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    Shane joins a Russian dating website to find companionship, Ilya joins to find a green card. They both think the other person is catfishing them, but can’t stop talking to each other anyway and eventually end up on TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé.

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    2/?
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    18 Jul 2026

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    "I don't mean to come here and freak you out," Scott said, though he knew there was no avoiding it. He'd been where they were before. It had felt like he was dying, back then. "I just don't want you to think you're the only ones, okay? There's lots of us."

    Their eyes snapped to him in unison, startled and intense. Hollander croaked, "What?"

    "There's over sixteen hundred guys in the MLH and AHL," he reminded them, because it had felt improbable to him when he first heard until he remembered the sheer size of the hockey world. "There's — well, we don't know how many of us there are, but there's at least seventeen of us that know each other. Plus you two. We watch out for each other."

    His eyes enormous, Hollander asked, "There's, what? A secret underground gay hockey network?"

    Scott shrugged. "Yeah, basically."

    ----

    Ilya and Shane find their way into The Tennis Club, a network of closeted hockey players that hook up - so long as everyone keeps it casual. Which is no problem! They can do casual, right?

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    18 Jul 2026

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    “I’m trying to figure out,” Rose wonders aloud. “Are you always a complete prick? Just with women? Or just when you lose a game?”

    Ilya barks a laugh, shocked and almost delighted, and his smile spreads wide enough that Rose can see all those pearly whites of his that are so much nicer than she expected any hockey player’s to be. “All the time,” he grins, “all the time. However much of an asshole Hollander has told you I am, double it.”

    She answers truthfully, shrugs her shoulders in her tiny silver dress. “He hasn’t mentioned you at all.”

    After a shitshow of an evening in a Montreal nightclub, Ilya wakes up the next morning in Shane’s bed. Only, he’s not in Shane’s bed — Rose Landry is, and he’s in Rose Landry’s body, and she’s in his. Well, what the fuck are they supposed to do with that?

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    17 Jul 2026

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    "Chlamydia?" Ilya has never heard Hollander's voice reach such heights in the absence of a cock. "You have chlamydia?"

    "I did not get it on purpose," Ilya complains.

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    17 Jul 2026

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    "Is it true? Hollander is on rut waivers?"
    "Mr Rozanov. Sit down."
    "Make an offer. Offer – offer me."

    When Shane is cast out of the Metros due to a mystery hormone issue affecting his game, Ilya makes an offer to save his career: become a Boston Raider, and Ilya Rozanov's mate.

    It would be easier if they hadn't already been sleeping together for years.

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    17 Jul 2026