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Summary
Being a young boy in search of love was a tougher task than he would have thought. He knew it, though; the heroes in his books had little respite. And Alexis sometimes wondered if he was really capable of being like them. He wondered if he too would be able to enjoy a beautiful life, the one he wanted so much.
It was no longer snakes slithering in the pit of his stomach, no, but a real fear, something he could name. Something he could describe and understand: the same fear that twisted his guts when he discovered one of his books torn apart, his snowman crushed, or his dreams shattered.
But did he have a choice? Alexis knew that despite everything, he would hate himself if he didn't try, if he didn't give it a shot. No matter what his soul told him, it was abnormal anyway, so what was the point? He had to follow his heart. Yes.
Or: Alexis’s sick heart pushes him into questionable choices. How do you learn to be loved when you don’t even know what love is?

