Rissjo314
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“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
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- 7,508
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Bookmarked by Rissjo314
10 Jul 2026
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Hermione Granger attends an ancient Roman-style Bacchanal with a plan: fulfill the requirements of the Ministry’s Repopulation Act, stay anonymous, and leave with no (additional) complications.
That is, until she meets a wizard far too tempting to resist.
— OR —
Draco Malfoy approaches Hermione Granger at a masked breeding-themed revelry, and she quickly realises he has no idea that it’s her.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,201
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 3
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- 120
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- 973
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- 238
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- 10,634
Bookmarked by Rissjo314
01 Jul 2026
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Movements, Contrived and Improvised by HeyJude19 for MrsButlertron
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
27 Dec 2021
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Draco and his mother had behaved like upstanding citizens for years, donated thousands of Galleons, yet apparently it only took a bit of romantic fluff with Granger and he could consider himself fully redeemed.
A bar so low he’d barely need to raise his feet to clear it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,395
- Chapters:
- 2/2
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- 29
- Comments:
- 569
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- 10,514
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Bookmarked by Rissjo314
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger has only felt true fear three times.
The first, when she lay beneath the tip of Bellatrix Lestrange’s searing-hot wand. The second, when Harry walked into the Forbidden Forest with no intention to return. The third?
Now, pinned to a table with Malfoy’s hand on her hip and her blood on his hand.
“Your blood’s as red as mine, you know.” His voice sounded hoarse, like he’d been screaming for hours. “I find myself curious to know if it tastes as sweet.”
Something’s wrong with Malfoy, and Hermione’s going to figure it out.
[REWRITE]
Bookmarked by Rissjo314
24 Jun 2026