ProfessionalXylophone
Recent bookmarks
-
Tags
Summary
Here’s the problem: Grace has a soulmate.
His soulmate is looking for him. Would be great, if there wasn’t a big pay check attached to it.“Tom Ryder, Hollywood’s favourite playboy, seeking soulmate to settle down.”
But Colt had told him “oh yeah, Gail is basically forcing him to do this for the publicity. She thought a grand love story behind the scenes would create hype for the movie.”
And the soulmate would receive quite the hefty check for staying silent and being professional arm candy.Because, apparently everyone fussed over that Gosling guy and his soulmate wife. The fans need a new “perfect” couple to become scarily parasocial with.
Grace is not about to be a freaking pay check.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 103,899
- Chapters:
- 34/34
- Comments:
- 870
- Kudos:
- 1,535
- Bookmarks:
- 275
- Hits:
- 30,248
Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone
10 Jun 2026
-
SWAK by Cowboycrows
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Iron Lung (2026)
18 May 2026
Tags
Summary
“I don’t know,” says Simon. “I don’t even know where we’re going, they won’t tell me.” He buries his face in his knees and arms again, and Grace hears something that sounds suspiciously like a sob. Maybe Simon’s eyeballs were sweating too.
“You have to promise you’ll come back,” Grace demands, his own lower lip trembling. "Pinky promise!" He jabs his pinky into Simon’s cheek and pokes him with it until Simon looks up.
Simon’s eyes are red-rimmed, but Grace’s glad that he’s managed to surprise just the tiniest smile from him. “I’m not pinky promising, that shit’s for babies,” he says, eyeing Grace’s extended pinky with mock disdain.
“Then how am I supposed to know you’ll keep your promise?” Grace shoots back.
“We gotta seal the deal with something else,” Simon says seriously.
or
A modern-day AU with no astrophage or the quiet rapture where Simon and Grace are childhood friends and met at a playground when they were eight.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,951
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 314
- Kudos:
- 1,412
- Bookmarks:
- 299
- Hits:
- 11,748
Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone
19 May 2026
-
Tags
Summary
"So. I somehow got shot into space, lost my memory, everyone else died, and this is what's going to haunt me?"
Grace gestured wildly with the sticker.
"My AO3 stats?!"
Series
- Part 5 of PHM fics
- Part 4 of work skin fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,347
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 856
- Kudos:
- 4,637
- Bookmarks:
- 877
- Hits:
- 17,477
Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone
17 May 2026
-
Tags
Summary
The hours after Shroud all passed in a blur. The sound of the ambulance doors slamming shut on the bloody visage of his enemy should have seemed more final, but Robert felt only a sense of unease.
or
Robert getting through the aftermath of Shroud, with Flambae there to help him through it.
Series
- Part 1 of Making Space
Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone
16 Apr 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Beef has been Robert's loyal companion for a long time, but he has so much more love to share. So when Robert gets a job that allows Beef to be around new people, of course the little dog is going to make friends with everyone.
Basically, little shorts that center around Beef's interactions with the Z-Team
(tags will be added as needed)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,731
- Chapters:
- 51/?
- Comments:
- 957
- Kudos:
- 2,531
- Bookmarks:
- 480
- Hits:
- 62,738
Bookmarked by ProfessionalXylophone
16 Feb 2026