Notcateblanchett
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Summary
3000 words. That was all. Sirius just had to get this essay down to 3000 words.
3120 words, said his psychology essay’s word count, rudely.
Fuck you, he said back to the word count.
You’re so sleep-deprived, you’re hallucinating an argument with Microsoft Word, the word count replied wittily. Also, you want to shag men.
Bollocks. The word count was right.
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After realising that he’s probably at least a little bit gay, Sirius Black falls into a prolonged spell of bad luck.
This is definitely because of some big fuckoff cosmic reason completely unrelated to him, and not just because he’s a bit of a twat.
Bookmarked by Notcateblanchett
28 Jun 2026
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"I'm the Marvellous Mr. Lupin, here to dazzle with feats of magic you'll have to see to still not believe! Who's ready to have some fun?"
The magician visibly deflates as scattered, unenthusiastic applause sounds through the conference room. Sirius almost feels bad for the man. There are probably few jobs more bleak than providing entertainment for a corporate networking event where everybody just wants to get drunk at the lobby bar or go to their room for a luxurious hotel wank that won't get interrupted by their kids. It's sort of the man's own fault for taking the gig, though. Kids' parties probably have a much more enthusiastic audience. Maybe Sirius should get his card and hire him for Harry's birthday.
OR
Is Sirius really thinking about seducing this magician? Really?
Bookmarked by Notcateblanchett
13 Mar 2026
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bright, just like the stars by basketofnovas (slashmarks)
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Feb 2026
Summary
An AU where Harry is a girl. Series title from "Take Me Anywhere" by Tegan and Sara.
- Words:
- 17,925
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 54
Bookmarked by Notcateblanchett
06 Mar 2026
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“Jude, darling Jude, all I can do is think of you. I haven’t been able to think of anyone else in so long that I fear you’re destined to haunt me forever.”
Set after the events of the throne room on an average day in Elfhame. Just the high king and his seneschal. (One shot)
Bookmarked by Notcateblanchett
29 Jan 2026
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Everybody Hates a Tourist by wolfpants for MaesterChill
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Jul 2023
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On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school.
Meanwhile, Draco’s just trying to live his big and best queer life: working for the weekend, chasing hot men, getting lost in Brighton's nightlife, and making friends with the neighbourhood cats. Why does his former school rival and crush have to show up and spoil everything?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 51,502
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
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- 383
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- 1,580
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- 505
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Bookmarked by Notcateblanchett
06 Jan 2026