Kayreed04



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    “It’s okay. I don’t need anything.” 

    “I am not going to eat in front of you while you have nothing, Hollander,” Ilya scoffs. He plucks a can of cold ginger ale from the top shelf as casually as he can manage and slides it over the island, interrupting Hollander’s fidgeting thumbs. “You must be hungry, yes? It’s been hours since you left hotel. I can make something. Easy.” 

    “Make… what?” he asks warily.  

    Ilya rolls his eyes and tosses a look over his shoulder. “Do not worry. I will find something that works for your special hockey diet,” he teases. He reaches back into the fridge. “Tuna melt okay?” 

    “No,” Hollander says primly. “And it’s a disease. Not a diet.” 

    He pulls his hands out of the cold and turns, blinks. “What?” 

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    17 Jun 2026

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    At first, he thinks he’s hallucinating Rozanov. The lethal half-cut of his gaze, the open collar of his shirt, the span of his hands moving up someone else’s waist. Shane’s always been a glutton for punishment.

    But he blinks, or the lights keep blinking for him, won't fucking quit, and Rozanov is still there. Looking. An anchor. Shane stares back, can’t make himself stop.

    The glass he’s holding slips out of his hand and shatters as he jolts forward. He's drowning in this sea of people but he thinks, maybe, Ilya is the only one that manages to hear.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    Hayden only recognizes the signs because he’s seen them in Ilya.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    Shane's eyes squeeze closed again. “We had reason to put rules in place. Protocol. If ever—if it got to a place where, if he was ever feeling like he might—"

    Hayden’s body understands before his mind catches up. His blood runs cold for a second, stuck on the scrunch of Shane’s face, the clench of his fist, how desperate he’d been to see Rozanov—Ilya—just now. To make sure that he was okay. Here, in person.

    Not hurt. Alive.

    “Oh,” Hayden hears himself say distantly. “Oh, fuck, Shane.”

    --

    or, Ilya needs a place to go, and Hayden's happens to be the closest. It turns out to be a good thing.

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    17 Jun 2026

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    “Go?” Rozanov repeats, and Shane thinks he manages to nod, thinks he manages to spin some kind of excuse that he knows Rozanov doesn’t really buy, but he needs to go. He needs to get out of here. He needs to find somewhere quiet and calm where he can ride out this panic and painful tightness until he can catch his breath again. He needs-

    He needs to go.

    “I’m sorry,” he says, turning heel and resisting the urge to just book it right for the front door only because he’d rather not have to explain to Hayden why he returned from a hookup with Boston Lily in men’s clothes that he certainly didn’t leave in.

    It’s not until he makes it halfway up the stairs to Rozanov’s bedroom that it occurs to him in a cold rush that it isn’t just anxiety that makes it this hard to breathe.

    “No,” he tells himself firmly, white knuckling the bannister and trying to take a deep breath just to prove that he can.

    It wheezes.

    (how the tuna meltdown is averted through the power of food allergies and anaphylaxis)

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    16 Jun 2026