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"Dan?," Phil says.
"Mhm?"
"Why are we sitting in your bathroom with the blinds down and the lights off?"
"I don't know," Dan answers truthfully.
He doesn't know. Not really. He knows of this fog, of the permanent cold sweat and the feeling of wrongness of his own skin and bones and lungs. Knows, somewhat, what sort of situation brings this on, knows that he's even less tolerant of people in his space because it's all just so - so wrong.
Knows what helps. The dark, the hair, the makeup. Usually. Traitorous fucking makeup.
"You don't know?"
"It - it helps." Dan's rarely at a point of not knowing what to say. Especially around Phil. This strange feeling, however, is even beyond his words. "I don't know what it helps with yet, though."
"Okay."
or dan's been trying hard to navigate this gender thing on his own
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,841
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 40
- Kudos:
- 210
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 1,176
Bookmarked by Forresten
05 Jul 2026
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You are Not Sleeping on The Goddamn Floor by pepelovesme
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
08 Aug 2024
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Dan and Phil's 2009 meeting reimagined. Dan is curious, they talk sexuality. Smut ensues.
Bookmarked by Forresten
05 Jul 2026
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Dan thinks he might not be entirely straight. Will a Porn Challenge video clear things up for him?
Bookmarked by Forresten
04 Jul 2026
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of flavoured lube and falling in love
Bookmarked by Forresten
04 Jul 2026
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Title: Interactive Introverts, Genre: BDSM (pup play edition) by ScreamingAtMoss
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (Video Blogging RPF)
26 Jun 2026
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I am NOT normal about Phil wearing his interactive introverts serial killer outfit and I am not alone!! (Phanart, fuck AI this is from a phreak for the phreaks)
Bookmarked by Forresten
04 Jul 2026
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most alive I've ever been (but kiss me and I might drop dead) by deanconti
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (Video Blogging RPF)
20 Apr 2026
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After a beautiful day in Manchester with Phil Lester, that was DEFINITELY NOT A DATE, no matter what his hopes or that stupid magical kiss tell him, Dan Howell is ready to walk into the Lester House and just watch a movie with a friend.
Definitely no silly business happening.
Unless...Bookmarked by Forresten
04 Jul 2026
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you were a bad idea (and a good fuck, too) by cockwhoredan
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
28 Jan 2017
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Essentially, Dan’s twenty years old and still masturbates like a sixteen year old boy who cums his pants just from hearing the word ‘boob’. Maybe, he thinks, it's not such a big surprise that he’s finally turned to Grindr after all this time, being the sad, desperate fucker he is.
Bookmarked by Forresten
03 Jul 2026
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Fool With Feelings by cockwhoredan
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
25 Mar 2016
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Cam boy Dan has never been this obedient for a guest who hasn’t tipped. Businessman Phil has never been this happy with a misclick.
Bookmarked by Forresten
03 Jul 2026
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"i’m totally addicted to the star wars clone wars tv series and i’m in love with anakin skywalker force choke me dad i mean darth i mean what” -dan howell (april 12th, 2016)
Series
- Part 1 of dan howell's kinky tweets
Bookmarked by Forresten
03 Jul 2026
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maybe freud was onto something (the oral fixation fic) by cockwhoredan
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
06 Mar 2018
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dan's just trying to live his truth
Bookmarked by Forresten
03 Jul 2026
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A Sleepless Night With Dan by cockwhoredan
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
31 Mar 2016
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Dan and Phil live together, and they're just friends. One night Dan can't sleep.
Naturally, he decides to give Phil a blowjob.Bookmarked by Forresten
03 Jul 2026
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I Absolve You From Your Sins by microwaveoven
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
07 Jul 2024
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sister daniel and father philip fuck in a confessional. everybody cheers
Bookmarked by Forresten
02 Jul 2026
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It takes Phil a long time to figure out why Dan insists on watching horror movies, even though they scare him half to death. When he finally does, he comes up with a plan.
Bookmarked by Forresten
02 Jul 2026
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Fuck The Past (Dan vs Phil vs Daniel) by phandomsub
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
17 Nov 2017
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Daniel and Phil decide to mess around with a book of spells for their new video. It’s all just a good laugh, until they somehow end up transporting 18-year-old Dan from 2009 into 2017. The only logical solution is: threesome.
Bookmarked by Forresten
02 Jul 2026
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Daddy's Little Princess by phandomsub
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
14 May 2017
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Dan's still a shy, easily-flustered virgin, but Phil can fix that.
Part 2 of Babygirl
Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil AU
Series
- Part 2 of Babygirl Collection
Bookmarked by Forresten
02 Jul 2026
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Babygirl by phandomsub
Fandoms: Video Blogging RPF, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
28 Apr 2017
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Dan is an innocent virgin and Phil is the bad-boy who likes to make him flustered.
Pastel!Dan and Punk!Phil AU
Series
- Part 1 of Babygirl Collection
Bookmarked by Forresten
01 Jul 2026
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Spiderman Kisses by intoapuddle for dvp_95
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
17 Jan 2020
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The famous Spiderman kiss, except they're not caught in the rain and Dan isn't kissing Phil on the lips.
Bookmarked by Forresten
01 Jul 2026
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Phil doesn’t seem in a rush. He pets Dan’s hair absentmindedly, and Dan sucks softly. If Phil wants more he can take it, but he doesn’t. Not yet.
Series
- Part 8 of Instincts (pet play 'verse)
Bookmarked by Forresten
01 Jul 2026
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Pup Switch by intoapuddle for dvp_95
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
16 Aug 2021
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The guys have become comfortable in their roles as pup and master, switching from time to time—until they realise that they’ve never truly switched places. In this story, Phil tries to figure out how to fulfill Dan’s desire to be dominated.
Series
- Part 7 of Instincts (pet play 'verse)
Bookmarked by Forresten
01 Jul 2026
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The Collar, The Leash by intoapuddle for dvp_95
Fandoms: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
16 Aug 2020
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Summary
Dan's puppy is bringing something new to the table.
Series
- Part 6 of Instincts (pet play 'verse)
Bookmarked by Forresten
01 Jul 2026