Deadpan_saphic
Fandoms
Recent works
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Draco Malfoy and the Gringotts Heist by Deadpan_saphic
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Jul 2025
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Summary
Something was wrong, Draco had been smoking since he was 13, a nasty habit he'd picked up from his mother when they took their trips to France. Blaise had grown to find the smell almost as comforting as the rest of Draco, if only in familiarity.
Draco had smoked at least once a day for years, where was the smell of cigarettes?
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Or: Though every Slytherin knew the importance of plausible deniability, that didn’t mean they had to like it.
Series
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I Can Be The Cat, Baby, You Can Be The Mouse by Deadpan_saphic
Fandoms: Call of Duty (Video Games)
05 Jul 2025
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Summary
You keep your head down, and your hands folded neatly in your lap, not even your ears moving, practically a statue. Yet, even with your eyes down, the picture of perfect obedience, you sense them coming before the handler does. Immediately, you're on edge, they reek of gunpowder.
They’re armed, which means they’re dangerous, and only two types of dangerous people buy hybrids.
Only two types of people buy hybrids like you.
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Summary
The biggest story since the first Kaiju attack was Tom Riddle and Draco Malfoy’s sudden and mysterious split. They were the perfect drift partners, with a drop-to-kill ratio of nearly 1:1, not to mention their compatibility was so off the charts, it redefined them. Any European drift system was calibrated on their brains, and any new trainees for the pilot program were measured against them. They were the unofficial face of Jaeger Pilots for years.
They single-handedly made the European Shatterdome the most sought-after assignment of all government employees, including up-and-coming pilot, Harry Potter.
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Encyclopedia of Pureblood Knowledge by Deadpan_saphic
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
01 Apr 2024
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Summary
"An Encyclopedia of Pureblood Knowledge, by Elladora Black." Publication date June 1st, 1208
Series
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and if you fall, as lucifer fell (you fall in flames) by Deadpan_saphic
Fandoms: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
10 Oct 2023
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Summary
Loki, before he succumbed to the darkness encroaching on his vision, wondered how different his life would have been if he had just picked the damn sword.
Recent series
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How the Sanctity of Marriage Saved The World (or maybe just Draco Malfoy) by Deadpan_saphic
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
15 Jul 2025
- Words:
- 132,529
- Works:
- 5
- Bookmarks:
- 110
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
On the radiographic map of Jamrock, your home is the cancer, Harry. I’m sorry to tell you that it looks terminal.
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Summary
Sal Fisher and Larry Johnson are taking the world of heavy metal by storm.
And their rivalry is too.
"He waited until after the first song to take his shirt off. He took it off, wiped the sweat off his brow, and then tossed it into the crowd of screaming girls. “Sorry, I just needed to get more comfortable.” He winked. His long brown hair stuck to the sweat on his skin. His tattoos were bold under the lights, and his piercings glimmered under the strobes. He was right. He was a fucking god.
And Sal hated him for it."
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Summary
“The snow melts in Jamrock,” Harry says solemnly. The snow melts over the motorway that loops above the ghetto, and below its concrete columns, there is a sea of four-story buildings as far as the rain can fall.
“How do you do that, detective?” Kim asks.
“You mean the whole, feeling the city thing? I have voices in my head that tell me stuff."
Bookmarked by Deadpan_saphic
01 Oct 2025
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Summary
The gist of it was this: infiltrate La Puta Madre, get key names, dates and locations, and get out. As if this was an easy task, and not something the RCM had been struggling to achieve successfully for decades.
The Moralintern’s present, Benjamin Setsuna, was a recent addition to the Madre, previously not physically present within the Jamrock locale. La Madre knew a name, that he was Seolite, his necessary business dealings, but had never actually seen the man.
Kim resented that this task had fallen to him, as the precinct’s only high ranking Seolite officer. He had accepted the task, mask carefully in place, but he felt Harry shift angrily next to him at their secondary briefing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,117
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 189
- Kudos:
- 2,319
- Bookmarks:
- 499
- Hits:
- 34,007
Bookmarked by Deadpan_saphic
01 Oct 2025
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The Case of the Man Who Two-Thirds Wasn't There by glisteningceruleaneyes
Fandoms: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
29 May 2022
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Summary
Three-and-one-third bodies have been found in an abandoned vehicle on the riverbank.
It would be a challenging case even without the bad weather, weapons smuggling, white nationalists, industrial accidents, and the concept of pedigree dog breeds—but over it all hangs one troubling question: What is it that fascinates you about Kim Kitsuragi? Is it working class camaraderie? A sinister hex of mysterious origin? Did you imprint on him in Martinaise, like an amnesiac duckling? If you don’t figure out what’s going on soon, people are going to start to notice. Especially him.
And sooner or later? Everything is related to the case.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 83,717
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,647
- Kudos:
- 4,840
- Bookmarks:
- 1,614
- Hits:
- 98,678
Bookmarked by Deadpan_saphic
29 Sep 2025
Bookmarker's Notes
10/10 I love whatever's wrong with Harry. My weird shaggy probably psychic dog 🙂↕️