Bennu315



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    Scott can’t stand Ilya Rozanov. Sure, Rozanov is a generational wunderkind, but he’s also annoying as hell and always ready with a chirp.

    “Do you have a spot in the nursing home yet, Hunter? I am hearing from my grandma they go fast!”

    “Are you getting tired? It must be past your bedtime already!”

    “What kind of skating is that? Is your arthritis acting up again?”

    Scott’s age is Rozanov’s favorite topic, but now that Scott has come out, he shudders to think about what Rozanov will throw at him this season.

    Or, 5 times Rozanov makes fun of Scott for being old, and 1 time he makes fun of Scott for being gay.

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    05 Jun 2026

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    “You are planning to rob me or what?” He hears Rozanov call, and he can’t help but smile slightly even as he rolls his eyes, closing the door to the linen closet and feeling strangely lighter than when he opened it, reassured that he’s just trying to read into a blank page, that today doesn’t mean anything more than Rozanov doesn’t mind him being around, which is strangely flattering.

    “I don’t know,” he calls back. “Don’t Russians like diamonds and fur and stuff? Where should I start looking if I want to know what my options are?”

    He hears Rozanov laugh, and it makes him smile.

    When he joins him in the living room once more, Rozanov tugs him down to lean against him again. Shane goes easier this time, settling into it, knowing it doesn’t mean anything other than the fact that he just happens to be the closest warm body, the person on Rozanov’s roster who filled today’s slot.

    (the tuna meltdown doesn't happen) (this does not mean they get ANY better at communication)

    (or: how shane didn't realize he had a boyfriend for several months)

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    03 Jun 2026

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    Hayden had never seen him like this before. The painkillers were making Shane…fun. He was funny, and kind of bitchy? All Hayden had to do was mention a player, any player in the league, and Shane had an absolutely devastating assessment locked and loaded. To hear Canada’s Golden Boy with perfect PR presence rip into everyone and everything…it was just too tempting to pass up.

    OR

    Hayden has some fun with Shane while he's high on pain meds. Shane starts being a little too honest and that's exactly when Ilya Rozanov decides to show some sportsmanship for the first time in his life. Hayden tries to run interference for his best friend and, man, what the hell did he walk into??

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    03 Jun 2026

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    @Rozanov81:

    Ok internet, I have announcement.

    I am getting married in 2 weeks.

    So we are going to play a game, ok? I give you one clue every day, we will see if you can guess

    #SecretRelationship #ILoveYouJane

    -----
    With each new daily clue, the Hollanov fans only get louder. Each clue lining up perfectly with a certain Canadian hockey player.

    However, they still cannot convince anyone. If anything, their overflow of online excitement might make it seem less believable.

    Ilya notices the plight of these modern Casandras of the internet age and, of course, decides to make it worse.

    -----
    Told through snapshots from twitter, Instagram, the Ottawa WAGs group chat and Ilya’s journey into the depths of Reddit to find r/HollanovHQ

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    28 May 2026

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    Ilya still loves a terrible decision. Nearly ten years of exposure to Shane just mean that now, the terrible decision comes with a plan. This time it comes with bullet pointed lists, research. Fresh ideas scribbled late at night and stuck, one over the other, onto the fridge door.

    This crucial, terrible decision comes with deliberation and forethought and a twelve-step fucking plan.

    A plan that starts with ‘attend every game he can between the women’s league’s rivals-turned-wives Clara and Katya’ and ends with ‘kiss Shane on the mouth at center ice.’

    Because Icarus has nothing on Ilya fucking Rozanov. The internet is not ready. Yuna is going to have his head for this. Step one begins on Friday. He cannot fucking wait.

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    Half Ilya Rozanov POV and half social media fic tracking the chaos, managed and otherwise, that is unleashed as Ilya enacts his plan.

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    25 May 2026